“It’s time to answer a few Castellas~!”
Q: Dear Mr. Boss, just curious—what’s your go-to punishment when one of the boys steps outta line? Do you cut them up and feed them to pigs, demand they self-amputate a pinky, give ’em the ole cement shoes and throw them in the StroZero river? Just some of my thoughts, but eager to hear yours!
Q: Hey boss! You know you’re the queen, no question! Listen, we’ve had a lotta noise around the den lately—scuffles here, scuffles there. How do you wanna handle it? If you ask me, we round up all them knuckleheads, line ’em up, and you show ’em a little of that tough love, you know what I’m saying? Lay down the law, know what I’m saying? Course you know what I’m saying, you’re the boss, you always know what I’m saying!
Q: Sup zookeep, housekeep, shopkeep, gatekeep, barkeep, bar keepers friend. Whatever you want me to call you, I gotchu! So what’s it gon’ be? What? You want me to keep calling you zookeep? Oh fine, but only because I love you! You’re the boss, boss!
“And that’s all the time we have for today~!”
: WHAT
: I saw plenty of Q but no A???
: three strikes yer out!
: batting practice but every fourth ball is a live hand grenade
: hey that's a funny-looking ball (boom)
“If you all want to take a swing at these questions, then be my guest! I don’t have a ‘go-to punishment,’ I don’t ‘lay down the law,’ and I am certainly not a boss, boss!”
: Whaddya talkin' about, boss? Did you forget everything we've ever been through?
: Hey! Someone get Dagger-chan over here now!
: Dagger-chan? Are you crazy? One "ah?" from her and all the rest of them memories will be gone too!
: Then get Awayuki! She has experience with (temporary) memory recovery!
: No! Anyone but her! If she unlocks any more of the boss's hidden power, she'll end up straight in retirement!
: What's greater than a boss? a retired boss
Q: How are things with you and Chami-chan lately?
“She treated me to this lovely bird-noises ASMR yesterday.”
: really
: oh wow, that's cool. didn't know Chami-chan was a bird whisperer
: that's so sweet! ￥1,000
“It really is. She made all the bird noises herself~.”
: lol
: this girl really will do ASMR everything
: "the zookeeper likes animals, I'm good at ASMR, I know, animal ASMR!" - Chami-chan, probably
: Chami-chan still chamming it up
: Maybe it's time to give the kid a break?
“Mm, perhaps. I have been enjoying her antics lately~. She’s charming in her own silly, dopey way.”
: hoho!
: progress!
: you gotta become a dog to become Ehrai-chan's dawg
Q: Any tattoos, boss zookeeper? Think about getting any tattoos?
“Body art, you say~?”
: body art???
: please do not censor user Castellas to your benefit~
: that euphemism LMAO
: stop trying to beat the yakuza allegations, you can't do it
: ￥1,000
“If I had to choose, maybe a small animal one would work, but honestly, I think I’m better off without one~. I’m a zookeeper. And whether we like it or not, self-expression like that is still somewhat frowned upon in Japan. I’d rather avoid anything that might be a questionable influence on young, impressionable children~.”
: How upstanding!
: Ehrai, you're so erai (commendable) ￥8,000
: But, but... you're the boss...
: are there any children viewers in the first place?
: let's not ask that question around here
Q: Any latest animal obsession we should know about?
“Lately I’ve been rather partial to the red-shanked douc. It’s those sad, melancholic eyes. Something about them just draws me in and steals my breath away~.”
: the red-shanked what
: I looked it up. It's a monkey
: wow, they're so colorful
: It's like a patchwork of four animals in one!
: Damn... These things are so cool
: that's my zookeeper!!! ￥3,000
Q: Boss! I mean, zookeeper! Good evening!!! I remember you said you had a phase where you were big on yakuza flicks, but what about yakuza games??? Any interest in playing those, or better yet, streaming those? I know I’d watch!
“I know I’m a big ole normie for saying this, but I’d love to play one of the Like a Dragon games one day~! It’s not officially in the cards yet, but hopefully one day~.”
: big ol normie, she says
: Yeah, I'm a N.O.R.M.I.E.: Notorious Outlaw Rebelling against Mainstream Institutions and Establishments
: never been a better time to get into Like a Dragon!
: or Yakuza as it used to be known in the west. Kinda liked that name better. It's simple.
: Z O O K E E P ￥9,680
Q: Before you were the boss, you were this meek, gentle zookeeper who was knowledgeable about animals, but otherwise, honestly didn’t stand out much compared to the dumpster fires that were your two genmates. But after the boss side of you came out, your usual(?) soft-spoken, gentle side just became all the more emphasized and I love that about you. You’re my favorite member of gen four! (Sorry, this isn’t really a question, is it?)
“I don’t care if it isn’t a question, this is the best thing I’ve read all week~! Thank you for sending this in, thank you! It’s so good to know there are people like you out there. Oh, I’m so happy. You, my friend, are now my favorite viewer and I would like to personally invite you to Ehrai Zoo!”
: heartwarming
: great question!
: personal invite?!
: run my friend, she's going to put you out on display in a pen as her "favorite viewer"
: she never said she was inviting him as a guest
“Hm, hm, hmm! ♪”
: She's not denying it. Sus...
: well this is rare
: she must be *really* happy
: Ehrai Zoo. You can come but you can never leave
: Eek.