“Hikari doesn’t think she can— No, no, of course she can! Be confident!”
: yikesss
: remember what happened the last time you tried to move in unexpected ways, Awa-chan? Crrrrack!
: just tried it myself and was able to clear 1 cm no problem
: Are you a certain mouse-hating cat named Tom?
: Thinking of the cat instead of the mouse in this case, based and Tom-pilled
: Cats are liquid after all
: That means Nekomaaa is a pool of putrid standing water
: poor kitty. even when she's not present, she amasses more innocent-bystander energy
“Rock-paper-scissors, loser goes first,” Mashiron proposed.
Anxious as we were, the show must always go on. We agreed with Mashiron and played a quick round of rock-paper-scissors. The order ended up being Chami-chan first, then me, Mashiron, and finally Hikari-chan. At last, a stroke of luck.
“Okay, then, here I go,” Chami-chan said hesitantly. She hovered in place, shifting her weight awkwardly, trying to figure out how to bend her back in just the right way without toppling over.
“You know, limbo might be my thing after all,” Mashiron muttered.
I looked at her, confused. “Why’s that?”
“Just look at her. Spreading her legs, sticking her lips out like that—completely shameless. It’s hot.”
“Uh.”
“The best part is that expression, like she’s being forced to pole dance against her will. And with that pose, she might as well be. Yes... Yes...!”
“And she’s off in her own little world where the chestnut flowers bloom.”
“Gonna draw this when I get back. This could be the next big fad!”
“Or the start of another ultra-specific artist’s fetish.”
“Personality-excretion lover says what?”
“I don’t know what that is, I’m seiso~.”
“S-Stop saying weird things, I’m trying to concentrate over here!” Chami-chan said. “At least cheer me on or something!”
“Go, go, Chami-chan, go!”
“M-Maybe not that, Hikari-chan. That just reminds me of earlier and I’ll lose all my strength again!”
Chami-chan, having just barely avoided digging her own grave, successfully limboed under the first bar.
: Mashiron?!
: always on the lookout for new fetish material
: artists have my respect
: sane streamer btw
: rude! Mashiron and Dagger-chan are the princesses of the Mononoke doujin circle! ￥1,000
: there hath never been a more cursed circle
: for anyone who thinks the chestnut flower joke is seiso, don't google chestnut flower smell
: Wait. Is Nekomaaa the result of personality excretion?
: NOOOO leave the poor kitty alone
: somewhere in the world, a kitty cries out in despair
: She did it!
: Nice, Chami-chan!
Then it was my turn. “Urk...!” I slipped under the pole without much issue. “Clear!”
“Oof.” And Mashiron was able to do it just as easily.
Now it came time for she who was not as flexible as she wished she could be—Hikari-chan.
“M-My body and mind are at odds right now...” she murmured in front of the bar. A unique turn of phrase, but in other words, even with the bar at its maximum height, Hikari-chan’s body sensed danger in bending that low. She tried to approach the bar in all sorts of ways, but every time, right before she hit the bar, her body recoiled from it. This continued for a while.
: Hikari-chan lollll
: she's starting to sound like Chiikawa...
: I'm of two minds (Awa and Shuwa)
: Oops, all Shuwa!
: One Shuwa, Two Shuwa, Red Shuwa, Blue Shuwa
: something not very small and not very cute (my penis)
“Hikari-chan’s probably so athletic, her body knows itself too well and refuses to even try anything it can’t do,” Mashiron said.
“Wow. I’ll never know how that feels,” Chami-chan said.
“Hmm...” I hummed in thought. We had to get Hikari-chan past this rut somehow or we’d be here all day, so I ran through my mind for ideas. Ah. Maybe this could work?
“Hikari-chan! How about making a game out of it? Like it’s that Resident Evil thing.”
“What Resident Evil thing?”
“Y’know, the room, with all the lasers coming at you!”
“Ah! The meat cube machine!”
“Yes, that!”
“Chami-chan, is that what that’s called?” Mashiron asked.
“I have no idea what the official name is, but it’s definitely not that.”
“Just imagine that you’re not coming at the bar—the bar is a deadly laser coming at you!” I continued. “That way, it’ll seem like you have no choice but to go under it and the mental block is gone!”
“Good idea! But why do I have to imagine? You can just move the bar toward me. That’ll make it even more like the game!”
“Uh, is that allowed?” I asked.
“Staff says...sure, why not,” Mashiron said.
“Nice! Okay then, Awayuki-chan! My life is in your hands!”
Oh, I know we’re supposed to be competitors, but Hikari-chan is just so precious you can’t resist the urge to help her!
Filled with a genuine wish to see Hikari-chan through this hurdle, I grabbed the limbo-bar setup and started moving it toward her.
“Here it comes,” she said, staring at it intently. “Here it—” She suddenly screamed. “N-No! No, no, no! Get it away from me! I don’t wanna die! Oh God, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die!” Her voice cracked, raw with terror. “GYAAAAAAAH! Somebody! Anybody! HELP ME!!!”
Uh. Well, that was unexpected.
“Awa-chan,” Mashiron said. “At least set up a safe word before you go full-on sadist dominatrix.”
“Wait. This isn’t what I wanted, I swear. I legitimately thought it would help her if we made it more like a game or a movie. Swear on my life.”
“We’re not going to get banned by YoTube for this, are we?” Chami-chan asked. “That scream was...bone-chillingly real.”
“This wasn’t a sex thing, so I think we should be fine...” I said.
: Jesus Christ I jumped
: Even now, they remain in character. What will it take for them to break, I wonder?
: That scream was genuinely terrifying
: Seriously, clip the audio and use that for your next horror project
: Awayuki...you've gone too far this time
: We were just joking about the death game!
Clunk. The unexpected sound made us all jump. We looked toward its source and found that, while we had been making a fuss, Hikari had touched the bar and bumped it to the ground.
“Hikari-chan, you’re out,” Mashiron declared dispassionately, then trotted up to her. “Are you okay? Sorry, was that my fault?”
Hikari-chan looked at me. “A-Awayuki-chan.”
“Yes?” I replied hesitantly.
“Pain is good. Death is not.”
“Pain isn’t supposed to be good either.”
“No. Pain is good...”
Okay. Well, if that near-death experience wasn’t enough to cure her masochism, I don’t know what is.
The limbo challenge continued with the three of us. Each round, the bar was lowered an intimidating five centimeters.
“Aah!” With an oddly sexual moan, Chami-chan was eliminated at ninety centimeters.
“Ah!” I made it only one round further, hitting the bar at eighty-five centimeters. Which meant the winner of this challenge was...!
“Yay! Go me!”
Mashiron, who cleared even the eighty-five-centimeter bar with ease.
“Ohmigod, I’m actually kinda happy. I didn’t think I’d take first place in anything!”
Kinda happy? She was literally bouncing on the balls of her feet. But...Chami-chan and I couldn’t bring ourselves to celebrate her victory. We even stopped Hikari-chan from saying anything, gagging her and pulling her back before she got out half a syllable.
We weren’t being sore losers. Mashiron had seemed genuinely bummed about placing last in the previous challenge and we were genuinely happy for her. Under any other circumstances, we would’ve clapped for her in joy, but here and now...
Remember what I said earlier in this volume about not wanting to get shot?
Mashiron chuckled smugly. “I’ve already won, but let’s see how far I can really push it. Let’s go, eighty centimeters!”
I glanced around nervously. “Um, Mashiron? I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“What are you talking about? Eighty-five was almost too easy!” She slipped under the bar again. “Hah! And so was eighty!”
Mashiron...
“Let’s do one more.”
“Mashiron, I’m serious. You should stop.”
This time, she bumped the bar. “Ah, darn it. I guess seventy-five is my limit.” Finally, she gave up on her limboing efforts and trotted over to us. “Sorry, sorry, I was just having so much fun.” She tried to move over to the emcee’s PC, where the stream chat was open, but found me, Chami-chan, and a hastily conscripted Hikari-chan blocking her path. “Um, girls? Can I...get to the PC? I just want to see what chat is saying real quick.”
“Wh-Why would you need to do that?” I stammered.
“Yeah! Let’s just move on to the next challenge!” Chami-chan said.
“Mm-mmm-mmmph!” Hikari-chan tried to speak, muffled by our hands.
“What? Come on, I got first, I want to see the chat’s reaction! ’Scuse me!”
“Hey!” Chami-chan and I protested.
But it was too late. Using her big brain and petite body, Mashiron figured out the path of least resistance and slipped through our defenses. She stood in front of the screen, grinning widely. And then she wasn’t grinning anymore.
: of course you'd be good at this one, Mashiron!
: *gestures broadly at chest area*
: and they said boards were stiff
: Nice one, Mashiron! Your cutting board coming in clutch for once!
: hard to knock over a bar when there's nothing there to knock with ayyy
: That is what we call functional beauty
: unfair advantage looool
: I have two small reasons to give as to why Mashiron is so cute
She just stood there, staring at the screen for a while. Then, when she finally looked back up at us, there wasn’t even a smidgeon of emotion on her face.
Is this... Is this it?
“On your knees now. All of you,” she said icily.
“Mashiron?!” I yelped.
“Why us?!” Chami-chan cried.
“Sure thing!”
At least Hikari-chan was happy.
“You now have ten seconds to plead your case. Starting with you, Awa-chan.”
“What?!”
“Eight seconds.”
“Um, um, um... You know how even though 3D games are the norm now, there’s still a loyal contingent of gamers who enjoy 2D games? Aha ha...”
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYINGGG...?
“Chami-chan?” Mashiron glared at her next.
“P-Plains make better farmland than mountains?”
CHAMI-CHAN, NOOO!!!
“Hikari-chan?”
“Bigger equals higher defense! Smaller equals higher dodge! Both are strong!”
That was probably the most generous thing any of us could’ve said, but it was still terrible!!!
Then Mashiron burst out laughing. “Aha ha ha! That was great, you girls are funny. You get a car—and you get a car, and you get a car! Everyone gets a car!”
“Y-You’re not mad?” I asked.
“W-We’re saved?” Chami-chan said hopefully.
“A car! A car!” Hikari-chan sang.
But we’d been too quick to relax.
“Good. Now, staff members, drop those cars on their heads.”
“She is trying to kill us!” Chami-chan and I yelled.
“Hah! I’ve been practicing my dodge rolls!” Hikari-chan also yelled, but proudly.
Well, it was good knowing you all...
: but honestly, a small Mashiron is the right Mashiron
: being on the itty bitty titty committee is value added, benefit accrued, advantages earned
: I wouldn't have Mashiron any other way