New day, new stream. Hello, it is I, the consummate VTuber, Awayuki Kokorone. Did my greeting, cracked a cold one open, and now the stage was set for what I was about to reveal.
“Y’know,” I said. “Whenever I brainstorm what stream I should do next, there’s always one idea that pops into my head immediately.”
A classic—beloved, yet criticized. A staple of Japanese variety TV since time immemorial. Sure, it’s hated for being inappropriate, accused of being staged, but no matter what, it endures. Its popularity spans generations, crossing cultural divides.
I, of course, am talking about one thing:
“A prank show.”
: Pshh! ￥220
: ooh
: Im involved in production as well and I know exactly what you mean
: trueee
“I think about it a lot, but I’ve never gone through with it. I get intimidated, y’know? I’ve played my fair share of little jokes, but I’m talking a Candid-Camera-worthy gag, y’know? It’s gotta be big, it’s gotta have impact, especially for that very first time. The first time you do it, nobody has their guard up. They’re all unsuspecting, ripe for the taking. But do it once, and they’ll never act the same around you—act candidly—ever again.”
: mm-hm, mm-hm
: as the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice...
: listen if you don't think Live-Onners are acting candidly I don't know what to tell ya
: yeah this feels more like a "surprise! this whole Live-On thing was a massive prank" reveal
: when the prankers are so deep into the the prank they don't even realize it's a prank anymore
: "It's just a prank bro!" No it's not you just committed three felonies and two misdemeanors
: [NOT SCRIPTED] [PRANK GONE WRONG]
: [PRANK GONE RIGHT]
: Prank gone...sexual?
: like you aren't pranking us every time you claim to be seiso
“But guess what! This time I’ve done it! I have pranked my fellow Live-Onners and lived to tell the tale!”
: that's right, Shuwa-chan, just ignore all the negativity
: ho ho!
: *clap clap clap*
“I finally came up with a prank worthy of the occasion. A prank so good, even the prankees would go, ‘Ah, ya got me there! Well played, well played.’ Hah, hah, hah,” I chuckled smugly. “So? What do you all think it was?”
: the pretend I'm seiso for three months post VTuber debut but I'm actually a raging alcoholic prank?
: she did that one before
: the actually Live-On is a family prank?
: she did that one before too
: the I'm actually live streaming from mercury with no pants on prank?
: she's doing that one now
: ooh. Is this that anime I've been hearing so much about? The Perv from Mercury?
“No I’m not!” I snapped. “Who you callin’ a perv from Mercury?” I sighed. “Fine, I didn’t want you guys to play along with me anyway. The prank I came up with after a long, agonizing brainstorming session is...!”
Boom. I displayed it in big, blocky letters across the screen, and I read it aloud at the same time:
“The ‘What the hell? Shuwa-chan’s drinking something other than StroZero’ prank!!!”
: nani???
: oh shit?!
: now we're drinkin' with StroZero ￥10,000
: hoooly shiiiit Shuwa-chan's pulling out all the stops for this one
: I'd flip my shit if I saw that irl
: asdlfjalksdflaksfje?!?!
: you actually drank an alcoholic beverage that's not StroZero?!
“Of course I didn’t! A prank’s a prank, so I put yellow-colored soda water in a beer can!”
: shoulda known. (should I have known?)
: why do I actually feel relieved?
: What are you, the StroZero idol who can't get caught drinking anything other than StroZero?
: I can only wish I could trigger the same outcry when I tell someone I drank a different alcoholic beverage than usual lmao
: do you actually not drink anything besides StroZero?
“Mm... It’s not that I don’t drink anything else per se... It’s just that, why would I buy any other alcoholic beverage when I can buy StroZero, y’know?”
: that's my Shuwa-chan
: despite making good money now lol
: y'know? (no I don't)
: champagne? Nah, gimme that long can.
: StroZero is life
: <SEISO EXPLOSION>
: Explosion is right
: so you're saying there's a chance
: ain't nothing wrong with StroZero but also nothing wrong with switching things up every now and then. Give us a little thrill, namsayin?
“Sure, maybe next time. But for now, let’s talk about how the prank went down. Quite literally, it was just me with a can of beer. I lay in wait until my unlucky target wandered into view, saw me with this unfamiliar beverage, and—boom! They lost their minds! All right, ready for story time? I even had Mashiron draw some manga-style illustrations to go with it. Check it out. Now, use your imagination while I tell you the story.” I switched the graphic on the screen, away from the chunky title block and to a chibi-style illustration of me with a scheming smile on my face.
: cute hahaha
: I like that face lmao
: you even commissioned art for this
: the style is amazing
: good job Mashiron!
“Then let’s dive right into it! As for the targets of the prank, they were just the streamers whose schedules just happened to line up! Big thanks to management for their help on that front. And our first target is...Dagger-chan!”
: ah?
: we're off to a good start!
: easy first target
: scumbag master preying on her apprentice
“I am sad to report, however—that I failed.”
: how...
: actually?
: come on, this should've been a slam dunk
“My sincerest apologies. But here is what happened, anyway. Stay awhile and listen...”
The day of the prank, I woke up feeling a little nauseous and jittery. The plan was simple enough: The targets had booked a recording studio favored by Live-On. Management, willing to lend their credence to my scheme, had fabricated a small lie, telling the targets that I would also be there for a separate thing. When you first step into the studio, you’re greeted by a small lobby with couches and chairs—a perfect spot for me to lounge, fake can of beer in hand, waiting for my first target to arrive. The beauty of it was that, since the target was there for a recording session, it wouldn’t seem strange for me to be sitting around with a drink. It was the perfect blend of truth and lie, designed to lull them into a sense of normalcy.
“Okay,” I muttered to myself, gripping my fake beer can. Before the target arrived, management would shoot me a quick message to give me a heads-up.
Then the notification came—Dagger-chan was here!
A few beats later, the door to the studio slid open. I started lifting the can toward my mouth! I even gripped it in a specific way so that the label showing it was beer was visible for the world to see!
All I had to do was take one convincing sip. The can was but mere centimeters from my lips. I was this close—this close to pulling off the perfect prank.
But then I heard it.
“Ah,” Dagger-chan murmured.
It was barely a sound, a whisper. But that tiny utterance—somehow it hit harder than any shout ever could, wrenching my heart in an instant.
Immediately, all my thoughts, all my faculties were overwhelmed by the singular urge to protect.
What I did next was...impossible to predict. I barely remembered it myself. One moment I was poised, ready, and the next, I was drenched—soaked from head to toe in yellow soda water.
Yes, somehow I had raised the can past my lips, over my head, and dumped its contents all over me.
“M-Master?!” Dagger-chan cried out in alarm.
I felt the cold soda seep through my clothes, the carbonation tingling against my skin, looking like I had just been caught in a sudden summer downpour.
“Whew,” I sighed, exhaling in relief.
“M-Master?” Dagger-chan said again, more cautious this time.
“Oh? Dagger-chan, is that you?” I said, flicking her a casual sidelong glance. “Didn’t see you there.” I maintained perfect nonchalance, like I’d completely meant to pour beer all over myself and I’d done it without even noticing she was there.
“What...are you doing?” she asked.
“What am I doing? Taking a beer shower, whatever could you mean?”
“Wh-Why?” she stammered.
I let out a coquettish giggle, my eyes drifting wistfully to the ceiling. “Just as Jesus turned water into wine, I wondered what might happen if I drenched myself in beer.”
“M-Master...”
“Heavens, is that the time? I must be going.”
With that, I turned my back on Dagger-chan and made my way farther into the studio, soda water still dripping onto the floor.
“Master...” I heard her whisper one last time. “You’re so cool...”