An idea struck.
“Why don’t you just, you know, lose your memories again? In the video you linked me, didn’t you say that you lost your memories by eating a super delicious Hamburg steak in the first place? Why can’t we just do something like that...again...?”
Really, Awayuki? I swear the idea had sounded fine in my mind, but as soon as I put it into words, oh man did the stupidity of it all ever strike me. I mean, yeah, if her intact memories were the issue, all we had to do was lose them again. Nothing wrong with that logic—it was just, holy cow was that a brand-new sentence.
“Master...”
Uh-oh, was she mad at me? She was mad at me, wasn’t she? Quick, say something!
“Y-You know what? Forget that just now,” I backtracked.
“Are you a genius?”
“Hm?” My head tilted of its own accord.
“That’s exactly what we need to do! You’re a genius!”
“D-Do what?”
This confirmed it.
“Make it!” she said.
“Make what?!”
I had indeed been correct all along.
“Make the memory-loss-inducing Hamburg steak...to end all memory-loss-inducing Hamburg steaks!”
“Pardon?”
There wasn’t anything normal about this girl. Like, at all.
“Master, I prepared all the ingredients and equipment!”
“Thank you!”
“Awayuki-senpai,” Tadasu-chan said, “I apologize on behalf of our Dagger-chan. She’s always such a handful. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to let me know.”
“I’m hungry, so hurry up and make me a steak,” Sensei said.
There we were, Dagger-chan and I in aprons in her kitchen, Tadasu-chan and Sensei sitting at the dining table. To explain how we’d ended up there, we need to rewind the clock a little—back to our earlier phone call.
“Really? I mean, really really?” I’d lost count of how many times I’d repeated that same phrase.
Because after I’d suggested the idea, Dagger-chan refined it further. She proposed we go big: hold an official collab stream, make the ultimate Hamburg steak there, and eat it live to lose her memories again.
“Really!” Dagger-chan exclaimed. “This is the best idea I’ve ever come up with!”
Really. With Dagger-chan so energetic and me full of doubts, it felt like we had swapped roles from our earlier conversation.
I was completely overwhelmed by Dagger-chan’s “Hamburg steak caused me memory loss once, why not twice!” momentum and could only nod my head in agreement. Somehow, I just knew from previous experiences that it was futile to resist a Live-On streamer once they had their sights set on something. Her arguments were compelling. The logic made sense. My mind was convinced, and yet I couldn’t stop the feeling of impending doom from taking root in my body. Was something wrong with me?
But in the end, after countless similar back-and-forths, I was finally persuaded and managed to convince myself that if a game like Evertale can get away with the bullshit it puts out in its ads, we should be fine.
“Okay, let’s do it,” I said. “But, um, how are we going to make this ultimate Hamburg steak?”
“Heh heh heh, Master.”
“Wh-What is it?”
“That which does not exist, we must only create.”
“Why can you only be a chuuni when it doesn’t freaking matter?!” I yelled, my voice echoing off into the distance.
So that was why I was at Dagger-chan’s house—to experiment a bit and perfect the ultimate Hamburg steak! (Tadasu-chan and Sensei were here to eat any extra “experiments.”) In other words, this was a practice session for the offline cooking collab Dagger-chan and I had scheduled. Time to earn my keep and make up for the fiasco I’d caused!
“Okay!” I said. “Before we get started, I assume all we have to do is make a Hamburg steak you really like, Dagger-chan?”
“I think so! Make one so delicious and memory-wiping, not even StroZero can do anything about it!”
“I feel like that’s just more on you, but okay,” Sensei said. “Also, in the worst-case scenario, if the steak turns out horrible and inedible, can’t you just, you know, say it was delicious? Like, ‘Oh my God! Yum yum! Huh? Where’d my memories go?’”
“Sensei, the viewers know when they’re being lied to,” Tadasu-chan said. “It is our duty as streamers to at least give it our all before calling it quits.”
“Yep, yep!” Dagger-chan said. “Not like we’re advertising this as a stream to regain my amnesia! It’ll be a cooking stream through and through!”
“Nobody said anything about not trying. I said ‘in the worst case,’ didn’t I?” Sensei said.
As gen five conversed among themselves, I couldn’t help but sneak glances at Tadasu-chan and Sensei. This was my first time meeting them in the flesh! (Before you ask, no. The little missed connection with Sensei in the video rental store did not count.)
We’d introduced ourselves when we met. Tadasu Miyauchi’s real name was Samane Minamoto and Churiri-sensei’s was Mari Okabayashi. First impressions were that they were both exactly the same online as they were offline.
“In fact, do you even need to make the steaks yourselves in the first place?” Sensei asked.
“Now, now. That sort of endearing, heartwarming charm is what Dagger-chan is all about, isn’t it?” Tadasu-chan added.
It seemed Dagger-chan had confided in neither of them about feeling unworthy without her amnesia. Not completely surprising, since Dagger-chan had drawn comparisons between them and her during our phone call. Or maybe she just didn’t want to stir the pot any more than necessary after she and I had worked out the perfect plan.
Right. This was for Dagger-chan’s sake. I would give her my all, find her that raison d’être she needed.
“Okay. Then let’s get started, shall we?” I said.
First up, we cut the ingredients.
“Whoa, this knife is super easy to cut with!” I said.
“Heh heh heh. Master, that is an element I procured from the very depths of the dark web.”
“Th-The dark web?!”
“Didn’t you say you bought that from Amazon?”
“Seeeenseeei!”
Next up, we combined everything to form a ground meat mixture.
“Hahhh. Hahhh.” *SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH*
“N-No, Dagger-chan, stop that! Your labored breathing... Your filthy hands... Your deft fingers, working that meat... That wet, slicky sound... THAT WET, SLICKY SOUND! LEWD. YOU’RE SO LEWD.”
“Shut. Up!!!”