Reirin found herself staring back long and hard. “Could you repeat that, Lady Houshun?”
“Pardon?” It was unusual for Reirin to make eye contact with her, so Houshun pulled an incredulous face. “Which part? ‘Gosh, this is so tedious’?”
“Before that.”
“‘Someone as overbearing as Lady Seika’?”
Reirin leaned in with a deadly serious expression, and Houshun pulled back, daunted. She was beginning to worry that someone might overhear her speaking her mind.
“No, the part after that. I’m sure you can guess which one.”
A pause. “‘She won’t be satisfied until everyone acknowledges that she knows you best,’” said Houshun, a sour look crossing her face.
“One more time,” said Reirin, immediately going for a second helping. “Make ‘Lady Keigetsu’ the subject of the sentence and say it again.”
A very, very long pause. “Lady Keigetsu won’t be satisfied until everyone acknowledges that she knows you best,” Houshun repeated, surprisingly compliant.
“Perfect!” Overcome with emotion, Reirin had to clutch her cheeks to stop a grin from spreading across her face. “One more time!”
“I refuse!” Houshun shouted before she could stop herself.
Startled by the outburst, the rest of the group whipped around to stare.
“Did something happen?”
“What’s all the fuss about?”
Heedless of the others’ reactions, Reirin flushed with joy and gripped Houshun’s hands. “I had the wrong idea about you, Lady Houshun! You’re a wonderful person!”
In lieu of a response from Houshun, whose face was twitching at this turn of events, the room was filled with Keigetsu’s angry yelling. “Say whaaaaat?! What’s gotten into you, Kou Reirin?!”
Reirin made her way back from the Maiden Court with a spring in her step. The conversation had gotten so lively that the girls had ended up talking until evening. Their respective head court ladies had come by several times to encourage them to retire, but the Maidens had ignored them each time and continued to giggle and chat away. That was definitely a first.
For that matter, it was the first time the Maidens had gathered in the daytime court without their court ladies, and it was the first they had talked without mentioning a word about their clans. Instead, they’d reminisced over shared memories like, “I felt a chill down my spine when I saw the look on His Majesty’s face” and “His Highness looked so dashing when he rode to the scene.”
That was fun! So fun, I can hardly believe it!
Reirin slapped her hands over her mouth to stop a giggle from escaping, but a smile spread across her face despite her best efforts.
I ought to suggest having a sleepover at one of our palaces sometime soon. Everyone can bring their own pillows!
For Reirin, beds were associated with memories of illness. Precisely because she had spent so much of her life lying down with no one else for company, she had always longed to sleep next to friends and hurl pillows back and forth.
Next time, I hope we can actually stay up all night chatting. We’ll nibble on our favorite snacks when our court ladies aren’t looking, roar with laughter over the silliest things, and then…
She counted off all the things she wanted to do on her fingers. Once she made it down the cloister and arrived at the Palace of the Golden Qilin, she was bound to get an earful from Tousetsu for breaking curfew, but even that thought excited her for a change. Up until ten days ago, she had been too wary of surveillance to so much as consider staying out past curfew. No, as far back as her childhood, she had been too sickly to ever go out much.
Yet here she was now, walking around without anyone to accompany her. The sun was slowly sinking beneath the horizon. The smell of kitchen maids cooking rice wafted over, filling her with a curious mixture of enchantment and impatience to get home.
I truly couldn’t be happier.
As the light of the setting sun hit her cheeks, Reirin suddenly felt the urge to cry. Each and every day was so dazzling and full of color. She still found it hard to believe that she could even experience such heart-wrenchingly precious moments as these.
Lately, I’ve rarely come down sick even in my own body.
Beckoned to a stop by the sunset, Reirin traced its red rays down to her hands. Her porcelain skin was almost translucent, and her wrists were thin and slender. Her body remained as frail as ever, but much to her surprise, she hadn’t run a fever or vomited even once since reversing the switch. Although there had been one instance of her tripping and spraining her ankle, even that had healed quickly enough.
I always am mysteriously healthy the first few days after we switch back.
She flexed her fingers a few times, opening and closing her hand. This was something she’d been wondering about ever since the first switch: Whenever she swapped bodies with Keigetsu, not only was she able to enjoy good health in her friend’s hardy body, but she would remain healthy for a while even after switching back.
Fire produces earth. Does her affinity for fire bolster my earthen properties? Or is it the flames generated by Lady Keigetsu’s soul purging the many maladies within me?
Reirin cocked her head to one side, the phenomenon reminding her of slash-and-burn agriculture. She often considered asking Keigetsu for an explanation, but she always put the matter off when she got caught up in some sort of drama; then, before she knew it, the maladies would be back to plaguing her, and she wouldn’t have the energy to spare worrying about it.
I’ve gone ten whole days this time. I believe that’s longer than ever before. Perhaps… She clenched the hands she’d been holding up to the sun, thinking the words she always held back from saying aloud. Perhaps my health really has improved.
Even in the privacy of her mind, it took her a great deal of courage to hold out hopes like these. All the things she had said to Leanne could apply to herself as well. Hope required more resolve than simply giving up and accepting the way things were. It meant opening herself up to having her expectations betrayed.
But I am always the picture of health after we swap bodies! Why, as we speak, I’m in such good shape that I might as well still be in Lady Keigetsu’s body!
As she strung words into excuses to herself, Reirin could have sworn she heard another voice somewhere deep within her heart. A tiny murmur that carried a fragile, faltering, nascent wish.
I wish…
Just thinking the words made her heart pound in her chest.
“I wish… Oh, enough shilly-shallying! I am Kou Reirin! A woman of the Kou!”
Fed up with herself for losing her nerve and struggling to come out and say it, Reirin smacked her cheeks and held her head high.
Chin up. Do things with a bang.
The first stars had begun to twinkle in the evening sky. After much ado, Reirin finally made her wish on one of those stars.
O star above, hear my wish. No longer do I desire to relinquish everything and take the easy way out.
“I wish to become healthy—and live,” she said, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper.
Ba-dump!
Reirin staggered forward, feeling like someone had squeezed her heart in their hands.
“Ah…”
Her throat seized up. Her ears rang. She was hit with such an intense wave of dizziness that she couldn’t stay on her feet. As she crumpled to her knees, Reirin tried to grab hold of the railing, but her arms were too heavy to lift.
No…
Why was this happening? She had been brimming with energy just moments ago. The brilliance of the hope she had nurtured made the despair hit all the harder. She felt all those joyful promises and bright moments slipping through her fingers.
It hurts.
Reirin’s eyes watered as a wave of nausea climbed up her throat. She bit her lip hard to force down the emotions and the pain, but it was no use. She couldn’t bear it.
It hurts so much.
She was short of breath. A fog settled over her mind, and the threads of her thoughts came unraveled.
As Reirin drifted out of consciousness, she had a dazed thought: In times like these…what was I supposed to say again?
She had to make some kind of plea. A request for help. An attempt to reach out to others instead of giving up and keeping everything bottled up inside.
But what do I say?
Right up until the moment she slumped over on the cold floor, she kept trying to think of the right words.
✦ ✦ ✦
The hard clack of shoes echoed off the damp stone walls. These weren’t the pounding footfalls of a man. They were a woman’s footsteps, accompanied by a rustle of skirts a beat later.
The dungeons were sealed off multiple times over. And yet, a woman carrying a burlap sack set foot in the darkest corner of their innermost depths without hesitation.
“Goodness me, this is some tight security.”
Atop a red sandalwood pedestal sat an object wrapped in so many chains as to be blocked from view. The woman chuckled at the sight of it, her voice soft and low.