As it turned out, Reinald hadn’t neglected the exploration of the waterways. In fact, the search teams were very active. They were the “friends” that Elena and Haring kept having over for their parties.
“A matter for another time,” said Reinald, “and one we’ll discuss in greater detail then. But for now, we should take our leave; you need rest, and you’ll find it much easier without us taking up your time.”
“I’ll prepare the carriage,” said Nika, who left the room.
Reinald drank the last of his tea.
“Thank you for accompanying me today,” I said. “I know it was a matter that didn’t concern you, and I appreciate it.”
“But it did concern me,” replied Reinald. “I needed what Ern Quach left for us.”
“You made sure we made it to them on time.”
“I know I may have forced your hand slightly, but...please know that I never meant for you to take your friend’s life.”
“I know.”
I knew he wasn’t the type.
“The next time we meet, let’s avoid talk of work,” I said. “I’d love it if you could tell me more about Ern, should you be open to the idea.”
“And perhaps you might tell me more about her parents?”
“It would be my pleasure. There’s so much to tell you.”
It still hurt to talk of the past. Even uttering Ern’s name left me on shaky feet, as though I might collapse. I felt certain that when Reinald and I next met, I would once again cry, but I trusted that he would accept my tears in silence.
Just when I thought Reinald was headed for the door, he stood in place for a moment, entirely still.
“This is unrelated to anything we’ve spoken of today,” he said, pointing at Charlot, sound asleep on a nearby shelf, “but unless I am mistaken, your cat is wearing the gift I sent you on its collar. Why might that be...?”
Oh...
“Oh, er, that, yes...” I murmured.
He was talking about the ribbon he’d sent me. The same one that I’d tied to Charlot’s collar. I was so used to her wearing it now that it was practically invisible to me, but of course Reinald would have noticed it. I tried in vain to shrug it off but failed miserably—it was far too valuable to pass off as just another piece of ribbon.
On the one hand, it was just a ribbon. On the other hand, it was the ribbon.
“D-Does it displease you?” I asked.
“Karen, I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m just asking a question.”
“Oh, well, it was so adorable, you see, and so...”
“I can see that you care very much for your cat. I think it an honor that you liked my gift enough to want to adorn your beloved cat with it.”
“Huh? No, that’s not it.”
“Oh?”
In my panic, I hadn’t made myself clear. Fresh in a new panic, I attempted to clarify myself.
“It wasn’t the cat, it was you, when you were wearing the ribbon. You were so adorable, I thought, and so...well, the very idea of wearing matching ribbons, it was just so embarr—”
Wait. Karen. Stop.
Should we even be saying this?
“Karen?”
Are you really about to say what I think you’re about to say?
“Oh, god,” I uttered.
“Oh, god?”
Oh my god, oh my god, did I really just what in the...?!
“J-J-Jusss, fughe, er... Just forget I said anything! I-I-It’s e-exactly like you said! Exactly! Charlot was adorable! Super adorable! I just couldn’t help myself, and bam! Ribbon! On the collar!”
“Take a deep breath, Karen. You’re going to bite your own tongue.”
“It’s not what you think! It’s not!”
Yes, I required a few minutes to calm myself. As my breathing returned to normal, I did everything I could to relegate my past comment to the furthest and darkest corner of my mind. I took a peek at Reinald’s expression but saw not a hint of irritation or worry, which was what I’d expected...though letting any relief show in these circumstances would have been horribly unladylike.
“I know that perhaps it’s not my place to say, being that it was I who forced you to leave your own home today,” said Reinald, “but I can see that recent events still weigh heavily on you. Rest as best you can, please.”
“Yes, thank you. An early night for me this evening, I’m sure.”
“I have some incense that helps encourage a good night’s sleep. I’ll have it sent to you.”
“Oh no, really, there’s no need. You’ve already done so much.”
“I’ve no need of it anymore. It would be better given to those who can still make use of it.”
I was hit by the strangest of realizations. Until the point at which Reinald had arrived, even the very idea of just walking had felt almost entirely beyond me. Everything was just too much, and all I had space for in my heart was regret and self-loathing. But here I was now conversing with another person, and able to—at the very least—utter my best friend’s name again. I was even capable of considering the feelings of the people around me.
If Ern saw me like this, would she be enraged or exasperated, I wonder?
Perhaps the latter?
“If you hadn’t provided me this opportunity today, Sir Reinald, I may well have remained trapped in my own depression,” I admitted. “I cannot thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to meet with Ern’s parents.”
“I only did what was necessary,” he replied. “You are the one who decided to stand, and it was you who found the strength to do so.”
He means every word.
Reinald was either an open book or an impenetrable wall. He often wore his heart on his sleeve, but at times, none could read his heart. It would have been rude to call him callous, but all the same, there was still some part of him that would not hesitate to cut down the life of another. And yet even then, he was capable of joking with Nika and Moritz, and even of kindness in moments like this one. The contrast felt more and more troubling the more we met.
“I will see you off at the door,” I said. “And I’d be in your debt if you could say a word or two to my younger brother on your way out. He’d never say it himself, but the boy looks up to you.”
“Putting me on a pedestal will do him no good at all. I daresay he’d be far better served following Haring’s example.”
“Well, whatever you choose to say to him, don’t make it that, I beg of you.”
It was then that I realized the black ball was still on the table. I didn’t like the idea of simply leaving it there, so I reached out and took it in hand.
That was when it happened.
Something about the ball felt different. It wasn’t hard like it was before. If anything, it now felt like a mass of petals trying to flitter out of my grasp. Instinctively, I opened my hand, but the odd feeling in my palm persisted. Wind rattled the windows, the sound of it almost deafening. And yet, this was not the same wind as the one that blew outside—it was like a storm taking place in the very room in which I stood.
“Let go of that! Now!” shouted Reinald.
I looked down to find that the sphere had changed shape. Reinald gripped my wrist so as to help me throw away the sphere—which had now begun emitting light—but this only served to accelerate the transformation. I heard Nika burst into the room, but I had eyes only for what was occurring in the palm of my hand.
Tiny bursts of electricity buzzed through the air. The sphere in my hand now looked like a blooming bud, its petals dispersing into the air around it like a mist before dissipating into the air. The petals danced and spun around me, and I felt my dress and shirt rising as if by their gravity. It was an ominous sight to behold, though it did not feel as ominous as it looked. And as I looked closer, I realized that what I had initially thought of as a mist was in fact not a mist at all.
It’s letters and words.
But the letters were not just from the language of the world in which I now lived. Among them were Japanese and English words, along with other letters and words from the languages of the world I once called home. The countless letters—no larger than a fingernail—swirled around in circles.
Oh, is all of this black...ink?