I was unwanted when I was born. As far back as I could remember, I was aware of this. I—Ilia Coral—was born the daughter of an unremarkable viscount. My father, my blood, was perennially dissatisfied with his position; his every thought was dedicated to climbing the social ladder. He was, to all appearances, unhappy that I was his firstborn child. “Is that it…? I hoped you would have more talent for magic… At least your looks should be enough to secure a decent match…” Looking back, I realize now he didn’t look at me as a father ought to look at his daughter. Perhaps it stemmed from the stress of living with him, but my mother, pressured to bear another child, began to resent me. “You’re so ungrateful, Ilia. Why couldn’t I have had a better child…?” But there was nothing I could do about my existence. When she glared at me so reproachfully, all I could do was stare back without saying a word in response. “You…! I can’t even guess what you’re thinking, it’s so eerie! I’ve given birth to a demon! You, the demon who stole my happiness!” My vision blurred from the pain of my mother’s hand striking my face. A tear streamed down my cheek—but only one. I couldn’t cry any more than that. For as long as I could remember, I felt next to nothing for her. “You ghastly child! Give it back! Give me back my happiness!” “Ma’am! Please, stop!” “Let go! Let go, I said!” “Miss Ilia, over here…!” Weeping, my mother slapped me again and again, until a maid intervened. When my father heard my mother had slapped me, he rounded on her. “What are you thinking, attacking her face like that?! Did you even pause to think you might affect her value as a bride?!” “Why are you blaming me?! Why is it always my fault…?!” she wailed, breaking down into tears. “That’s rich, coming from you…!” my father bellowed. He always said he wished I had more talent, that I could rise to the top of the pack, or at least find a way to serve the family as a woman. My mother lamented her fate. She wanted a brilliant child—if only to live as a happy mother. She could never bring herself to love an eerie child like me. It was always the same old routine. Those are the only memories I have of my family home. A weird child, incapable of smiling, shunned by her father and hated by her mother. Even the butlers and maids shied away from me. I couldn’t smile? They thought I was unsettling? In a place like that, how could I be anything else? “Did they ever smile at me?” Of course, I couldn’t have known the first thing about happiness. Not in that house. I woke up at the same time I did every morning, and as soon as I got out of bed, I checked myself in the mirror and saw to my appearance—a habit of mine ever since Lady Anisphia had brought me with her to the detached palace. In the mirror, a woman stared back at me, her eyes blank and unsmiling. After making sure everything was in order, I turned away. “…Now then, time to check today’s schedule.” Recently, more and more people had been coming in and out of the princess’s villa. Even Lady Anisphia herself, the head of the house, was kept busier lately. The detached palace had become quite lively. She had always had a talent for summoning joy around her, but recent events had seen our lives become even more vibrant than usual. I, for one, found the changes quite pleasant. Having long watched over her while she shut herself away and immersed herself in her hobbies, I couldn’t help but smile at the progress she had made. Naturally, I was kept busier as well—but I didn’t mind. “First, breakfast…” Leaving my chambers, I headed to the dining room. As I was planning breakfast before going to wake Lady Anisphia, a delightful scent wafted through the air and tickled my nose. For a moment, I stood frozen in confusion—and then it suddenly hit me. “Ah, right. Today is her turn… Old habits are hard to break.” The aroma was the scent of breakfast cooking. Indeed, when I entered the kitchen, I found a young woman deftly preparing the morning meal. Lainie, with her dark hair and dressed in the same style of maid outfit I was, turned around to greet me. “Lady Ilia. Good morning.” “Good morning, Lainie.” “I’m almost finished here, so could you go and wake Lady Anis? I’ll wake Lady Euphyllia in a moment.” “You’ve really grown, Lainie. I don’t have to worry when you’re in charge.” “Hee-hee. All thanks to you, Lady Ilia!” She flashed me a shy smile. A warm glow spread through my chest. Before I could break into a smile of my own, however, I felt my face tensing up to resist. This was another habit of mine, but I accepted that this was how my body tended to react, and that it wasn’t what I intended. I did my best to relax my expression and pull close to Lainie. “Here. A reward.” “Eeep?!” I gave her a light kiss on the forehead, and she jumped back with a cute little squeal. She quickly backed away, pressing a hand against her forehead and glaring at me sharply. It didn’t have the effect she wanted, however, as even that was awfully cute. “Ugh… I’ve told you again and again—please, no sneak attacks!” “Lovers are meant to be spoiled…” “Please! Go easy on me!” “I never cut corners.” “My heart won’t be able to take it!” she protested, and I thought of a puppy barking with all its might. Yes, it was a heartwarmingly adorable sight. We’d had more than a few misunderstandings since we became a couple, but I took pride in the relationship we had built with each other. Such bonds, however, could easily fray when one neglected to connect with one’s partner. That was why I was trying so hard to express my feelings honestly. My actions often left her embarrassed, but that didn’t mean I was about to relent. If I was less direct, she would hesitate to accept my kindness. “Consider it a perquisite…for your own good,” I said. “You’re just being mean now, aren’t you?” she answered. “Oh? I never said it wasn’t mean.” “Then go easy on me!” “People don’t change overnight, Lainie.” “Ngh! Just go and wake Lady Anis already! I have to wake Lady Euphyllia! Keep teasing me, and I’ll won’t pay you any more attention!” Lainie said, blushing as she rushed from the kitchen. Watching her leave, I let out a soft, satisfied sigh. Yes, another calm and relaxing day was upon us. Or so I thought. But an unexpected bump in the road was about to disrupt my peace. I was busy slicing vegetables, keeping time with the steady rhythm of the knife against the cutting board. I was preparing dinner in the detached palace. Though she was a royal princess, Lady Anisphia preferred simple dishes over fancy ones, and so the meals I prepared were relatively straightforward. But now that we were joined by Lady Euphyllia, a true noblewoman, we couldn’t stick to the same old dishes, and so I had begun to serve more elaborate fare. Lady Euphyllia’s manners and etiquette were beyond reproach, but she had little attachment when it came to food, eating whatever we served without complaint. I appreciated that, but if I were a professional chef, I would no doubt be concerned. There were times to be particular and times when not to, after all. “Hmm… Is this right?” After tasting the end result, I breathed a sigh. I had lost count of how many times I had found myself enjoying these quiet moments. Though I was a maid here at the detached palace, I was mostly left to my own devices as far as work was concerned. Why? Because the mistress of the house, Lady Anisphia, was a free spirit who was unable to settle on structured plans. Some days, she holed herself up in her workshop, while on others, she ventured out and was overflowing with energy. As a result, there wasn’t a lot of predetermined work that needed to be seen to. Before Lainie had come, I had to be mindful of Lady Euphyllia. But now that we had another pair of hands on deck, I had been able to return to my old routine. Every day, I would clean the rooms of the detached palace in a certain order, prepare meals, and ready the bath at the designated hour. Such was my daily schedule. My routine had been starting to show cracks in recent months, but as far as I was concerned, there had been no dramatic changes. And so, as usual, I found myself readying dinner and waiting for Lainie and Lady Euphyllia to return… “Lady Ilia? Are you in here?” “Lainie?” I startled, staring wide-eyed as she came trotting into the kitchen. For some reason, she seemed nervous. Had something happened? “Um… Actually, I was asked to give you something,” she began. “…Something for me? From whom?” Who on earth could it be from? Why would anyone want to send something to me? Since coming to the detached palace, my social life had been quite modest. The only people I met on a regular basis were Lady Anisphia and the others who lived with us. There shouldn’t have been anyone interested in sending me a letter… “Um… Actually, it’s from someone who claims to be related to Viscount Coral…” “…My family, you mean?” I asked in a low voice. Lainie flinched, so I made an effort to adopt as normal a tone as possible before continuing. “Did they hand it to you?” “He thought you might burn it if he sent it to you directly. When he asked, I couldn’t say no…” “…Hmm.” I frowned. I certainly wouldn’t have expected my family’s name to come up at this point. Who in the world could have sent it? I sincerely doubted it was my parents, but then again, that wasn’t completely out of the question. “Show me.” “Um. Here.” Lainie held out the letter. I turned immediately to the sender’s name—and my worries dissipated in an instant. Noticing the change, Lainie gave me a puzzled look. “Lady Ilia?” “Oh. It’s from him. There’s no problem, then.” “Huh? No problem…? Um, so you are related? You’re sure it’s okay?” Lainie asked, tilting her head in concern. She knew about my history with my parents, so it was only natural for her to be worried. “He’s my cousin, and the heir to the title of Viscount Coral. He isn’t a bad man.” “Your cousin…?” “I’ve told you about my parents, but I never went into any great detail about my family situation.” At the time, I didn’t think it was worthwhile to discuss my family’s fallen status—and to be honest, it wasn’t something I liked to bring up unless someone asked… “First off, my parents. There was a conflict with the man I was betrothed to when I first became Lady Anisphia’s personal maid. My parents wanted to sell me off, but instead of paying my parents a bride price, the man’s family demanded a penalty fee.” “W-wow…” “After that, I received so many brazen letters from my parents asking me to help them get close to Lady Anisphia. I ignored them all, and Lady Anisphia herself made sure they stopped coming. Apparently, that caused my family to fall into disarray. Because of their ineptitude, my grandfather had to come out of retirement and take over the family’s affairs.” I only learned all this after the fact—and to be honest, I thought it served my parents right. My father wrote to me, ordering me to talk my grandfather out of taking drastic action—but I burned his letter, too. I wished I could have seen his reaction, but I figured it would be best not to get involved. “My parents are being kept at the family estate, while my grandfather works to rebuild the family name.” “I see…” “My grandfather is too old to leave the estate, and I’ve never met him in person.” We were connected by blood, but that was all. He did send me a formal written apology, just once, but I didn’t bother to reply. “My grandfather chose my father’s younger brother’s son as his heir—in other words, my cousin.” “Have you ever met him?” “He came all the way to the capital asking for my hand in marriage.” “…Huh?” Lainie’s eyes opened wide in shock. “M-marriage…?” “Oh, it wasn’t like I ever really entertained the idea. Besides, it was more like the kind of proposal I made with you.” “The one you made with me…? You mean, a fake engagement to deter other suitors?” “Yes. My cousin’s father—my uncle—left home to become an adventurer. At first, my grandfather tried to bring him back—but my uncle had been away from noble society for so long, and he had received an offer to take over the local adventurer’s guildhall where he was based. He didn’t want to go back to noble life. So he offered his son instead.” “Ah…,” Lainie murmured, her expression unreadable. Like Lainie, my cousin had effectively been elevated from commoner to noble, so she no doubt felt a certain amount of sympathy for him. Maybe I wasn’t one to speak, having cut all ties with my family, but it must have been a real disaster for my cousin. “He resisted at first, but he eventually agreed to be named the family heir. With a few conditions.” “…Was marrying you one of them?” “He had already promised his future to another woman, but there were several issues with her becoming a nobleman’s wife. Apparently, she didn’t really care for any official title or status and thought it would be better with me as his lawful wife, seeing as I had received a noble education from birth.” If the marriage had gone through, the Coral bloodline would have been preserved and the family’s issues resolved. From that perspective, it wasn’t such a bad idea. However, Lainie’s expression was grim. “That may be true…but that wouldn’t be enough to restore your family’s reputation, would it?” “No. My cousin said he wouldn’t mind if I stayed on at the detached palace, that a marriage of convenience would be enough… But I still didn’t want to deal with my family anymore, so I politely declined. In any event, he was kept busy trying to sort out a whole range of issues, so he couldn’t take over the family right away.” “I see…” While my cousin hailed from noble blood, he had been raised as a commoner, so it wasn’t easy for him to take over the family’s titles and estate. I’m sure he had to work behind the scenes to establish connections and restore the family’s standing. It couldn’t have been easy for my elderly grandfather, either, but in a way, it was inevitable with a son as bad as my father. “So he was your cousin, then…?” Lainie murmured. “Did he come all the way to the royal capital in person? I suppose I should read it. If it’s from him, I’m sure it won’t be anything too bad…” But why would he want to reach out to me after all this time? Filled with questions and doubts, I opened the envelope to find a letter written in an elegant, aristocratic hand. “…What does it say?” Lainie asked. “…Hmm. I see…” Lainie fidgeted nervously while I finished reading the letter, and I sighed as I returned it to the envelope. “He’s reporting that he’s laid the groundwork to succeed my grandfather as viscount, and that his plans to marry are on track. It won’t be long now.” “Ah. That’s great news!” “Yes. So he wants to meet me to discuss my plans for the future.” “For the future…?” “Once my cousin becomes Viscount Coral, he can officially remove me from the Coral family. Right now, I’m still officially an unwed nobleman’s daughter.” I wasn’t exactly young anymore, but my position put me in that role. It would be just a formality at this point, but my cousin had to be anxious about acting without my permission. After all, I was still officially part of the family. “I have no particular attachment to my family home, so I wouldn’t mind being officially disowned.” “…Is that all there is to it?” “Why would there be more? There’s nothing else that needs saying.” “But the situation has changed. Lady Euphyllia is queen now, and Lady Anis’s circumstances have improved as well.” “Lainie?” “Don’t you think you should give it a little more thought?” she pressed with a sulky glare. Perhaps that was true, but my cousin didn’t seem like the kind of type to do anything wrong by me. Still, it had been years since I last saw him, and it was probably fair to say I had been a little too trusting. “Your cousin already suggested a marriage of convenience in the past,” Lainie pointed out. “Who’s to say he won’t propose to you again?” “…I suppose that’s true.” “Then perhaps you should turn him down?” “He hasn’t even suggested anything yet…” “But given your position, he might insist you go through with a fake marriage again. Even if it isn’t with him. He could be thinking of some other noble he’s involved with…” “I don’t imagine he would repeat the same mistake my father made. Besides, even if he did do that, I’m not about to accept any such proposal…” “Come on, Lady Ilia! You’re too calm about this! You never know how the other party will react! He might be a good person, but what if he’s trying to deceive you…?” “Lainie,” I said, reaching out to pinch her soft cheeks. She glared at me with tear-filled eyes. “Calm down,” I said. “I told you, I have no intention of marrying anyone.” “Ugh…!” “Are you jealous?” “…Did you think I wouldn’t be?” Lainie pouted. My heart gave a little squeeze of joy. Being worried wasn’t such a bad thing. So I decided to say something to put her mind at ease. “Don’t worry. Even if he comes out with such an offer, I’ll decline. All I want is to serve Lady Anisphia and Lady Euphyllia by your side, Lainie.” “…” “…Lainie?” “In that case, I’m going with you,” she declared. She seemed quite determined. “What?” I asked, taken aback. There was a fire in her eyes that she seldom let show. “I’ll keep an eye on things to make sure you can turn him down properly!” “Haah…” “I’m definitely going with you!” …There’s no talking her out of this, I thought with a deep sigh. “Is this Viscount Coral’s residence?” “Yes. Though I’m told the family purchased it after I left home. Apparently, they had to part ways with the old one.” A few days after receiving my cousin’s letter, we paid a visit to the Coral family’s secondary villa in the imperial capital. I had responded to the letter at once, and my cousin had written back suggesting a date and time to visit, so here we were. The Coral family’s residence in the capital was a small and modest affair for a viscount. My father had been an incorrigible show-off, so our mansion had been larger and flashier than one might expect from someone of his station—a stark contrast to the simplicity of the new Viscount Coral. It was all so strange. I found myself struggling to put my emotions into words. “Shall we enter, Lady Ilia?” Lainie asked. “…You really want to come in with me?” I asked, turning to her to make sure she was having no second thoughts. She certainly didn’t seem to be. “Are you saying I should turn back now?” she asked. “…Very well, I give up. Let’s go together.” As it turned out, Lady Anisphia and Lady Euphyllia had both approved of Lainie accompanying me. Lady Anisphia had been a little anxious at first at the thought of me seeing anyone from my family, but she ultimately gave her approval when Lainie noted her intention to come with me. “I’d be concerned if you went alone, but with Lainie’s support, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” she’d said at the time. “Indeed. I can ask Halphys to step in while you’re away, Lainie, so don’t you worry about work,” Lady Euphyllia added, readily giving her permission. And so it was decided. I felt bad about inconveniencing everyone… “You all needn’t worry about me at my age…,” I murmured. “Not at all. We can’t let you go alone,” Lainie answered. “I’m with Lainie,” Lady Anis added. “I’m worried.” “Yes, me too,” Lady Euphyllia said. With the three of them joining forces against me, I had no choice but to go along with it. Looking back on the discussion, I breathed an exhausted sigh. But it was time to switch gears and move on. We stepped up to the entrance of the Coral mansion, where the gatekeeper greeted us with a polite bow. “You must Lady Ilia. We’ve been expecting you. And who might this be?” “Lainie Cyan, a colleague of Lady Ilia’s,” she answered. “I’m here at the request of Her Highness Princess Anisphia.” “Very good. I’ll call someone to take you inside. Please wait here a moment,” the gatekeeper said as he let us through. It wasn’t long before a butler—perhaps my age or a little younger—arrived to show us around. The gatekeeper was around my age as well, so it seemed the staff had been changed out. The mansion’s unfamiliar decor made it impossible for me to feel at home. I suppose the Coral family I knew is no more… I thought it might be refreshing to see how the family’s circumstances had changed, but it was like a hole had opened up in my chest. Why? While I was busy pondering that question, the butler came to a stop and knocked on a heavy door. “I’ve brought your guests, Master Elk.” “Hmm. Show them in,” someone said inside the room. It was an office, and the man sitting at the desk rose to his feet to welcome us. He was tall and well built, clearly marking him as someone who took care of his body. His reddish-brown hair was a similar hue to mine, and he had a straightforward, sincere look about him. A wide smile spread across his face as he laid eyes on me—a smile that called to mind the young man I once knew. As nostalgia filled my heart, my cousin, Elk Coral, offered up a genuine greeting. “It’s been too long, Ilia! When did we last see each other? I hope you’ve been well?” “Yes, it’s been too long, Elk. I’m fine. And you?” “Ha-ha-ha! I’m still new to all these titles and fineries! You could probably say I haven’t quite outgrown my youth yet.” “I’m glad to see you look well. That outfit suits you.” “Hah! I’m glad you think so! And you—you’re still exceptionally young and beautiful!” Her cheerful laugh betrayed no hint of scorn, though as a noble, he was perhaps letting a little too much emotion show. With that, Elk turned to face Lainie, following a step behind me. “And who might this young lady be?” “A colleague of mine, Miss Lainie Cyan,” I answered. “Miss Cyan! I see! So you’re Baron Cyan’s daughter!” “Do you know my father?” Lainie was clearly taken aback by Elk’s show of surprise. She probably hadn’t expected her father’s name to come up here of all places. Elk vigorously shook his head. “No, no, I’ve never met him in person! But he is a famed adventurer, one who rose to the rank of nobility! I admire him! I never dreamed I’d be introduced to his daughter before meeting the man himself! Once again, I’m Elk Coral. Feel free to call me by my first name.” “It’s, um, nice to meet you…,” Lainie said, swept up in Elk’s energy. I myself was caught up by his rapid pace and had to clear my throat to gather my thoughts. “Well, Elk. May I ask what prompted your letter after all this time?” “Always straight to the point, cousin. No, I understand. It’s only natural for you to be cautious. But please, take a seat.” He gestured for me and Lainie to sit down on a sofa, while he sat on the one across from us. With that, he motioned for the butler to leave us. With a bow, the butler stepped outside—and Elk turned to face us. “To put it simply, I’ll be formally inheriting the title of Viscount Coral from your father soon. My wife will likewise be adopted into the nobility to become Viscountess Coral. Grandfather really went out of his way to help with the adoption process.” “Oh? So your wife has been adopted by a noble family…?” “Like me, she was born of noble parentage but raised as a commoner. She knows how to use magic, so she chose the path of an adventurer. We promised each other a future together, but I never expected to be sent back to the main family. Unfortunately, she had no support or backing, and her skill with magic wasn’t enough for her to claim noble status.” “I see. It isn’t easy for commoners to join the nobility.” “We were eventually able to find a family willing to adopt her so that our marriage could move forward. After making her wait before we could tie the knot, it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.” “I’m pleased to hear it.” “Thank you.” Elk breathed a tired sigh. Given the tensions between the nobility and the common folk, he must have gone through a lot. Within seconds, however, his smile was back. “Hmm. So, Ilia, we can arrange this so it will be of benefit to you as well once I become head of the family. Do you still want to cut ties after all this time?” “My thoughts haven’t changed on that matter.” “I see…” “Would it inconvenience you in any way?” “It’s more a feeling of regret than inconvenience. After all, times are different now. The changes Queen Euphyllia and Princess Anisphia have brought are the reason my wife was able to be adopted into the nobility in the first place.” “I see. So you wish to maintain a connection to me, at Lady Anisphia’s side?” From a nobleman’s perspective, that was the natural choice. Social connections were everything in the aristocracy. I had anticipated that he wouldn’t want to let me go easily, not with my connections to Lady Anisphia and Lady Euphyllia, so I managed to take this turn of events in stride. “Well, it wouldn’t look good for the family if I expelled you here and now… And frankly, it feels like a waste to cut ties with you when you’re so close to Princess Anisphia.” “You want a direct connection to Lady Anis?” Lainie asked. “But I thought she didn’t think very highly of Lady Ilia’s parents…?” Elk gave an awkward smile. “Yes, that’s only natural. I hope with the former head stepping down, I’ll have a chance to make things right. But I’m aware it has to be a sincere effort on my part. Personally, I wish to reconcile—not only for the family’s reputation, but for your sake, too, Ilia.” “…Reconcile…?” “Yes. If we can’t, you won’t be able to show your face at home, will you?” “…What does home have to do with any of this?” “It has to do with Grandfather. All this trouble has taken a toll on him. With his age, he doesn’t have a lot of time left. I’m not blaming you, Ilia, but your father’s actions have worn Grandfather down, both physically and mentally.” “Grandfather…” “He wants to see you face-to-face before he leaves this world, and to personally apologize to you. And if at all possible, he doesn’t want to see you leave the family. I suppose he’s also worried about me. After all, being shunned by the royal family isn’t a comfortable position to be in.” Elk let out a deep sigh, and his serious expression put a damper on the bright atmosphere just a few moments ago. I understood what he was trying to say, but I wasn’t moved by it. “I’ve never met Grandfather, so it’s hard for me to think of him as family.” “He said he thought you might feel that way. Now that he’s at the end of his years, he regrets how you were treated.” “I’m not sure what to say…” Frankly, this left me in a bit of a bind. I knew he didn’t have any bad feelings toward me, but it was too late to set things right now. Perhaps sensing my confusion, Lainie addressed Elk in an unusually harsh tone. “Excuse me, may I say something? I understand how Lady Ilia’s grandfather must feel, but couldn’t this have been addressed before she was pushed into wanting to leave the Coral family? Digging all this up now will only put more of a burden on her.” “You’re right, Miss Cyan. I can’t refute any of that. In fact, there’s no denying it was Grandfather’s neglect that led to Uncle turning out the way he did.” “In that case—” “Please, hear me out. Grandfather was a typical nobleman back in his day. He managed to survive the coup d’etat during the reign of the previous king, but his luck only went so far. My uncle wasn’t ready when he took over as head of the family, and he made a mess of it. I suppose he became too ambitious, thinking he could climb the social ladder.” “He’s a shallow man.” “You’re absolutely right, Ilia. I know it’s harsh, but there’s no defending him. I promise to take full responsibility for his mistakes. I certainly have no intention of bringing him before you. He and your mother may have brought you into this world, but they’re absolutely hopeless at being parents,” Elk all but spat. From the sound of it, he had had his own share of quarrels with them. So, in the end, they were unable to change… In a way, I was relieved to hear that. It was easier to give up on them knowing they were the kind of people who couldn’t help themselves. “Grandfather has long since given up on our fathers. You’re his last lingering regret, Ilia. According to my dad, Grandfather has softened in his old age—or perhaps the years have worn him down.” “…I’m sorry, but I still can’t bring myself to feel anything for him.” “Then would it be too forward of me to beg you to stay within the family, even if you don’t see him?” “It doesn’t bother me if you do, but I don’t want to have anything to do with my parents ever again. That’s why I want to cut ties.” “…I can’t convince you otherwise?” Elk leaned forward, hands clasped, and looked me square in the eye. I could tell that he was worried about me, and as I kept refusing him, I felt as though a needle was stuck in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. “I have my own thoughts about your current situation,” he continued. “Even if you can’t hope for conventional happiness, I want to help improve your circumstances. If things keep going the way they are, your past may eventually drag you down one day.” “That’s…” I couldn’t deny what he said. After all, Lady Anisphia and Lady Euphyllia were dealing with all sorts of nobles now, and that was unlikely to change. With my family drama and lack of outside backing, I could end up becoming a liability for them. In the past, I would have stepped down and left their service before it could come to that. But now… “We want to help you. Nothing can change the fact that you’re the heir to the Coral family by blood, or that you’re my cousin. I want to ensure the family name doesn’t become a burden for you. If nothing else, please consider that a reason for reconciliation.” “Elk. I—” “I used to be nothing more than a helpless boy. I was foolish to think I could marry you for appearances’ sake. But this time, I genuinely do want to help you. What do you say?” I was moved by this display of sincerity, but I still couldn’t find the words to respond. My lips opened and closed wordlessly. Meanwhile, Lainie spoke up. “Might I ask something, Master Elk? With all due respect, please refrain from misleading Lady Ilia any further.” “Lainie?” “Oh? You think I’m trying to deceive her?” “Lady Ilia’s connections would undoubtedly be of benefit to the Coral family should a reconciliation take place. You’ve been up front about wanting to take advantage of that, and I believe you’re genuine in your wish to settle past ties and restore ties with her as well.” She paused there, lifting a hand to her chest as if to calm her racing heart. “But when it comes to love… One can’t give love without first learning to receive it. Did the Coral family raise Lady Ilia in a way that she can accept its love?” “…No.” “Do you think one’s heart can grow to accept love after being kept a distance for as long as hers has?” “Perhaps not. But it certainly won’t if we don’t try.” “I believe we must acknowledge that this is right, and that it is your own personal wish. If you truly care about her, I hope you won’t force her to bear the burden of that love.” Her voice was so calm and steady it was hard to believe all this came from Lainie. I was left speechless. “…The right kind of love…,” Elk murmured. “Even if you are right, even if your love is perfectly selfless, it won’t be received unless the other party is ready for it.” “You’re saying mistakes were made from the very beginning, and now it’s too late to ever resolve them?” “I didn’t say never… But that chance is somewhere that will be very difficult to reach.” “…May I ask you something, Miss Cyan? Why are you giving me this advice?” Elk asked, straightening up in his chair. It was an aristocratic gesture, one that carried with it a weight of authority. Lainie, however, stood tall and unperturbed. “Because I consider Lady Ilia family.” “…Family.” “I care about her, and for that reason, I wonder if it’s right to wish for a bond of love when it might hurt her a great deal. Even among blood relatives. It’s ostensibly for her own sake, but will that love really bring her happiness and peace?” “There are benefits to accepting that burden. What do you say to that?” “There’s no avoiding scandal. I suspect there are many who would threaten Lady Ilia’s peace. The higher one rises in status, the more people will covet your position…” “All the more reason to—” “But she has me to protect her,” Lainie said. Her strong voice overwhelmed Elk’s, and the room was left in stunned silence. After taking a breath to compose herself, she continued. “Lady Ilia is very important to me. Please. I don’t want to see her get hurt.” “…You’re telling us to sever ties?” “I don’t mind if you believe I’m being impudent. I don’t care what you think of me. If I fail to make her happy, feel free to curse me to the ends of the earth. But I’m the one who wants to be with her.” “You’re saying there’s no room for me?” “No matter how sincerely you want to care for Lady Ilia, no matter how much you want to rekindle ties with her…if it risks causing her pain, then it falls to me to keep you away from her.” “What gives you that right?” “Nothing, maybe. I might even regret this choice. But it’s my burden to bear.” “Yes, but why?” “Because I love her.” …I almost let my guard down for a moment. Before I knew it, my clenched fists relaxed, and my hands moved up to my face. At that moment, Elk burst out laughing, unable to contain himself. “Wow! All right, I’ll admit defeat. At this point, there’s no point in even trying to flirt with her.” “Master Elk…” “Sorry. I just heard some rumors and wanted to confirm it for myself. Sorry if I came across as rude,” Elk answered gently. “N-no, I should be the one to apologize…,” Lainie insisted. This was the flustered girl I knew. Elk urged her to sit back, then turned to me with a calm look. “You’ve found a great partner, Ilia. Honestly, there’s no rebuttal to all that. Perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed so far after all…” “Elk…?” “Miss Cyan spoke about the right kind of love, but you should have received that from the very beginning. There’s no erasing that mistake your parents made. It isn’t easy putting something back together once it’s fallen apart. That’s one thing I’ve learned from Grandfather. On top of that, I have to be mindful of the family’s interests.” “That’s a given for the head of any family.” “But nothing else can proceed without a heartfelt apology. So you have my sincerest condolences and apologies, Ilia Coral.” “You aren’t responsible, Elk…” “No. I’m speaking in my capacity as heir to the title of Viscount Coral. In fact, I should have done this when we first met… I really am sorry,” he said with a deep bow of his head. Without looking up, he continued, “If you ever do feel ready to visit the family home, by all means, please come. I swear to you that I will strive to become a respectable nobleman. And once again, please understand that I expect nothing from you in exchange.” “…I understand. I hope you receive some good news.” “I’m glad we took the time to speak today… Perhaps this isn’t for me to say, but I pray you find happiness, Ilia,” Elk said. When he raised his head, his eyes were completely sincere. That night, Lainie came to my room to offer a profuse apology. “I’m sorry for embarrassing you today, Lady Ilia…” After leaving Elk, she seemed to come back down to earth—and had been feeling down ever since. She clearly hadn’t been herself back there. “…I never expected you to come out with such an impassioned confession,” I pointed out. “Me neither…,” she said, turning red and covering her face with both hands. I stared at her for a while, then breathed a sigh and called her over. “Come and sit here, Lainie.” “O-okay…” We sat side by side on the bed, Lainie glancing at me apologetically. I stared back at her so long that I lost track of the time. Eventually, she broke the silence. “U-um, Lady Ilia…?” she began in a puzzled tone. “…” “Lady Ilia…?” “Lainie… Can I be honest with you?” “Huh? Oh. O-of course, please.” “Well then…” Now that she had given her permission, I decided to follow my heart—leaning forward, pushing her down on the bed, and resting a hand on her chest. I could feel her heartbeat growing faster and faster under my hand. “L-Lady Ilia?!” “…Could you let me listen to your heartbeat for a moment?” “…Lady Ilia?” I buried my face in her chest, listening closely. I wanted to feel every part of her—her heartbeat, proof she was alive, her scent, her warmth. I wanted to soak in every sensation of her. “…Lainie?” “…Yes?” “Lainie.” “Yes?” “…I’m being honest with you, showing you the feelings I can’t put into words. I know it’s confusing, but I don’t know how else to share this with you.” I want to touch you. I want to feel you. I want you to be mine. Those were the feelings welling up in me, expressing themselves in my actions. “I was so happy when you said how much you love me. But I can’t help but wonder—why?” If I released all the emotions I always kept at bay…I would start crying and never stop. I wasn’t sad—not exactly. But it was like there was a gaping hole in my chest. I should have been happy, but for whatever reason, I ended up feeling anxious and lonely. Everything seemed to melt away as I embraced Lainie’s presence. Then, for some inexplicable reason, I wanted to cry. There was no end to my tears, and my emotions were all over the place. I didn’t know what do anymore. “I’m sorry… I really don’t know what to do…” I felt so pathetic—but I didn’t want to make Lainie apologize, either. I had to be honest, but still, I couldn’t get my words out. What was I supposed to do? That question kept spinning around in my head, and I almost found myself regretting not stopping, when— “Lady Ilia,” Lainie said, reaching up to cradle my head on her chest, so gently that my eyes drifted shut. A wave of relief I had never felt before spread through my chest. “I want you to know how much I love you, Lady Ilia. With all my soul. I want to give you everything your heart desires.” “…You do?” “Maybe you doubt me. Because I just appeared by your side one day without warning. And you’re afraid of losing it, because it feels so incredibly warm.” “…Yes… It does.” I was terrified of losing it. Yes, that made sense. I was always ready to be thrown aside. Even by Lady Anisphia. I didn’t want to be a burden to the person who had saved me. But I was happy now, and I felt like I belonged. Having it all pointed out to me today made me realize just how insecure I truly was. “We’re like a family, aren’t we?” Lainie whispered. “…Is it okay to think we are?” “Of course. Lady Anisphia and Lady Euphyllia want you to be happy. And so do I,” she said, holding me close. Then, she whispered the words I most wanted to hear. “Tonight, I’ll look after you. Give yourself to me.” I wanted nothing more. Here was someone who loved me for who I was, unconditionally. My childish, selfish whims began to take on a clear shape. “Oh. I’m so happy,” Lainie murmured. “About what…?” “I could never act this way around Lady Anis… Not in my wildest dreams.” “…No.” Lady Anis was free to fly wherever she pleased. If she wanted something, she would go to any lengths to make it happen. If she did that for me, I would owe her more than I could ever repay. Maybe that was why I was afraid to step in. Because I knew I couldn’t handle it. I wanted Lady Anisphia to be free. I wanted to see her chase her dreams. And that was why I couldn’t bring myself to wish for anything. Most of all, I didn’t want to be a burden to her. Wanting to be loved, but not wanting to accept it. Wanting to be embraced, but not wanting to be a burden… …Ah, I see. No wonder I couldn’t do it… “…Are you sure, Lainie?” I asked. “Will you really love me? Will you really forgive me? No matter what?” “You would do it for me, wouldn’t you? So I’ll do it for you. I’ve always felt this way. I didn’t want Master Elk to take you just because you’re related by blood. I had to stop him with everything I have.” “…Isn’t it heavy, all that desire?” “…Definitely. But I’m a vampire, right? Anyway, I’d still lose to you. You said you would accept me, no matter what.” I looked up at her. She had a smile on her face, her vampire fangs peeking through. She was right—and with that thought in mind, I couldn’t help but smile. I let out a light chuckle. “I love it when you smile, Lady Ilia.” “…You’ve beaten me today, Lainie.” Under normal circumstances, I would have been the one begging her for love—but today, the tables were turned. It was surprisingly difficult to accept another’s love, but this feeling was something I didn’t want to let go of. I had always wanted this from Lainie, hadn’t I? I had to learn to be more aware of myself. “Lainie,” I began. “Yes?” “…Thank you for loving me… I want to love you, too. With all my heart.” “Yes… Um, er… Ahh… I’ll do my best to accept your love.” We stared into each other’s eyes—and burst into laughter. Then, we playfully touched our foreheads together, until our lips met. Lainie, usually so shy, took it all in stride today with a dreamy look. Loving, and being loved. It was a cycle that helped us both grow, wasn’t it? For you and me both. “You’ve scored a full hundred points today, Lainie.”
Chapter 140
38 min read