Yet here they were.
Miska returned to Ulna’s side, beaming with pride. Ulna gazed at her with respect.
Anzu was as indifferent as always.
“Um... Miska? Ulna? Why are you two here?” Celestina asked. “I can’t think of a single reason you’d be—”
“Why, you ask? What a silly question! It’s because I’m your maid, of course!”
“Your conception of maids makes no sense! You can’t just get out of everything by saying you’re a maid! This trip’s run by the academy, you know?!”
“Ah. So that one won’t work on you anymore... Tch. Well, if I must say, this is a holiday of sorts for me. His Grace gave me some time off, so I thought I would visit some hot springs. Then, I simply kidna—ahem—invited Miss Ulna to accompany me and join the expedition. Do you have a problem with that?”
“You were about to say kidnapped, weren’t you?! I heard you start to say it! And wait—you’re going to the hot spring?! No fair!”
Miska explained everything as if absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. She was obviously an outsider taking advantage of the situation, but somehow, her brazenness disarmed everyone’s suspicions about her tagging along. Plus, by traveling alongside the carriages, she’d avoided needing to pay for her own guards.
The real issue was Ulna.
“Look, Miska, Ulna is a student at the academy. If her grades aren’t good enough, she may have to repeat a year.”
“Worry not, Milady. It is all taken care of. I made sure to blackma—ahem—convince the headmaster and the teachers, so Miss Ulna’s grades will stay as they are. It will not be an issue.”
“You blackmailed the headmaster?! What sort of mayhem are you getting up to when I’m not around?!”
Miska’s glasses gleamed unsettlingly in the dim light.
While the others couldn’t see her full expression, the corners of her mouth were twisted into a larger and far more devious smile than they’d ever seen her make before.
She clearly regretted nothing.
“Why, Milady, doesn’t everyone have a skeleton or two in their closet? I simply mentioned one of the headmaster’s during our chat, and he oh so kindly accommodated my wishes.”
“No! Your average person does not! And you’re just openly admitting now that you used blackmail!”
“My, my... Fussy today, aren’t we, Milady? Just when I’d prepared a lovely present for you...”
Miska handed Celestina a black, leatherbound book that exuded an ominous aura.
“What’s this—a book? W-Wait a... GWARGH?!”
The moment Celestina saw the title on the front, her body froze. Then, she started shaking.
“M-M-M-Miskaaaaaa... Why is there a book of this?!”
“Ah, your delighted reaction makes all my hard work editing it worthwhile. Sales have been very impressive lately, I’ll have you know! And the royalties, oh, the royalties... My word. Congratulations on your success, Milady!”
Miska gave a thumbs-up. The noble girl stared at her with pure loathing, but Miska only smiled in smug satisfaction of a job well done.
“That wasn’t what I asked!” Celestina hissed. “Why did you turn this into an actual book?! Why is it being sold?!”
“Because I thought it would be such a shame to let it fade into obscurity without society ever learning of its joys. And oh, how right I was. Even the employees at the publisher were amazed by the demand they’ve seen for it!”
This was part of Celestina’s history that she wanted to forget.
As a result of one of Miska’s pranks, she’d become so interested in adult manga that she’d crammed every trope she’d grown obsessed with into a single masterpiece of her own creation. She’d sealed it away, though; it was a secret she kept under lock and key.
At the time, it had just been a collection of her personal fantasies. But at some point, Miska had somehow gotten her hands on it and published it. What was more, sales were apparently booming.
The title of this masterwork, by the way, was Lament of the Beastmen: Fools Dance Together in the Garden of Roses.
“Oh! I’ve read that one!” Carosty exclaimed. “’Tis the tale of orphan boys rising through the ranks of the underworld, correct? Of intertwining love and hate between gentlemen who alternate between hurting each other and making love in the most passionate of ways... The ending reduced me to tears!”
“H-Hwah?! H-How do you know about it, Carosty?!”
“Whatever do you mean, how? It was on display in the new releases section of the academy’s great library! I was looking for another book and only picked it up by accident, but the story was so much more splendid than I could have expected. And I would never have thought two gentlemen could be so, erm...intense with each other...”
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Her dark secret had been revealed to the public.
And somehow, the fact that it had received rave reviews only made it worse. This was painful.
“How my heart tightened when those best friends’ circumstances had them at one another’s throats!” Carosty recounted. “The scene where one silently slips out of bed and leaves was so heart-wrenching, but at the same time, so precious. Oh, my sweet Giovanni... ♡”
“I paid special attention while editing that part, by the way,” Miska said. “It’s the climax for those two gentlemen. A culmination of the conflict between their duty and their love. It was also the part Milady worked hardest on.”
“Please! Just STOP already!!!” Celestina shouted.
It sounded like Carosty had fallen down the same hole as Celestina.
When Celestina thought about how she was to blame for putting her fantasies down on paper, she felt like crawling into a hole and dying. Sometimes, praise could feel more agonizing than any torture device.
Even when her work drew nothing but acclaim, each compliment felt like a dull knife driven straight through her heart.
Her HP had basically dropped to zero.
“Isn’t that nice, Milady? You have such supportive friends!”
“Aaargh... Just kill me already! Have mercy on me! Finish me off!”
Miska pretended to wipe tears of happiness away with a handkerchief, as if she were the proudest maid in the world. Meanwhile, Celestina couldn’t help but scream from the utter humiliation and resolved herself to death. This was one unhealthy master-servant relationship.
“If I may ask... Is there a release date yet for the sequel?” Carosty asked. “I cannot wait to read what happens next!”
“I assure you, I am hard at work editing it,” Miska said. “I hope to have it released by next year.”
“Gakh!”
Unable to endure reality any longer, Celestina finally collapsed.
Outside the carriage, Ulna and Anzu were still enjoying their training.
“Oh! I pulled off Swiftstep!”
“Mmm... You’re a natural. At this rate, it may not even take you long to learn Shukuchi.”
“Really?! Woo-hoo!”
Apparently, they were oblivious to the uproar just next to them. They were having a ball.
As Celestina faded into unconsciousness, she couldn’t help but envy the pair’s carefree ease.