Two huge pillars towered over the open field outside Hasam.
To win the duel, Ado and Uru needed to take down their opponent’s pillar. They were allowed to use physical attacks, nonlethal traps, and (in Uru’s case) attack magic. More specifically, Uru was allowed to use spells, magic tools, and other magic items, while Ado—as a handicap—could only use a sword.
On the surface, that sounded like a pretty unfair fight...but the gap between the two duelists was large enough to justify those rules. If anything, Uru needed a bigger handicap.
Before the duel started, Ado and Uru were given time to set traps in front of their respective pillars. Neither was thrilled with Zelos’s rules, but they nevertheless both scurried to lay traps that’d hopefully protect their pillar.
There was a handicap with regard to these traps too. Namely, Ado wasn’t allowed to use any deadly traps, while Uru had no restrictions whatsoever.
As a Sage, though, Ado had incredibly high magic resistance; traps weren’t likely to work on him.
Before long, the two young men were ready to begin.
“Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” Zelos shouted through his megaphone. “Let’s get this duel started! For our first contestant today, we have the village mayor’s grandson, a mage who graduated at the top of his class from the Istol Academy of Magic. Let’s give it up for Uru! And now for the man he’ll be fighting: a battle-hardened, elite mage whose talents have helped him out of more close calls than he can count—and have earned him VIP status abroad. Let’s hear it for Ado! Now, what sort of heart-pounding battle are we about to see from these two? I can feel the tension in the air already! Today’s winner will receive the right to take Yui’s hand in marriage! Mind you, I think the winner’s already set in stone in her heart, but... Well, someone here doesn’t know when to give up, eh? How far will his childish stubbornness get him against a man he’s no match for!”
“You’re the one who pushed us into doing this thing!” Ado shouted. “And who gave you the right to turn Yui into a prize?!”
“How long do you intend to treat me like a fool?!” Uru yelled.
Both competitors were mad at Zelos now, but anyone could see why. He had turned their duel into this public spectacle.
“Yes! In one corner, we have Uru, the selfish suitor who doesn’t give a damn about his own love interest’s feelings; in the other, we have Ado, the lucky bastard who’s somehow popular with the ladies despite being an utter buffoon,” Zelos said, continuing his enthusiastic commentary for the crowd. “It’s a clash of extremes!”
“We don’t need your input!” the duelists shouted at him.
But this was Zelos’s chance to run his mouth as much as he wanted, and he intended to make proper use of it.
“Now, let’s get a word from our competitors: the harebrained stalker-boy who wants to steal his opponent’s girl, and the damn normie bastard who wants to have a happy life with his loving wife.”
“‘Damn normie bastard’? Oh, can it already!” Ado snapped back. “Whatever. This prick wants to put his hands on my wife, so I’m gonna teach him a lesson. I’ll let him know exactly who he decided to pick a fight with!”
“I’m not wrong, am I?” Zelos shrugged. “You’re the pinnacle of normie. Just looking at you makes me mad. You and Yui are so sickeningly sweet that you two could subsidize the whole world’s sugar supply... Actually, you know what—mind if I stab you myself?”
“You don’t deserve Yui,” Uru spat at Ado, ignoring Zelos. “I’ll make her happy—you just shut your mouth and get out of the picture. In fact... Today’s the day I erase you from the picture myself.”
“And there you have it! Your favorite hometown stalker’s dropped his mask! Not even one word about what Yui wants!” Zelos commentated. “It sure seems like someone can’t see farther than his own fantasies, wouldn’t you say? A word for the boy: Leave the dreaming for bedtime!”
Zelos wasn’t holding back in the slightest.
But neither was the crowd:
“Don’t get hurt out there, Uru!”
“What kinda man tries to steal another guy’s lady? Know when to call it quits!”
“Forget that little girl! You’d be much happier with a MILF...like me!”
“Don’t worry, pookums—if you lose, I’ll be happy to comfort you! All...night...long... Mweh-heh! ♡”
Starved for entertainment, the villagers were treating this duel like some big festival.
“Zelos is so bitter toward Ado, isn’t he? You can hear it every time he talks...” Yui said.
“Still, he did make that rule saying they can’t try to kill each other,” Shakti said. “Which was a good idea, don’t you think? Plus, having all these people around should make them think twice about murdering their opponent.”
“Mmm... I don’t think that’s the only reason he turned it into a spectacle, though,” Lisa said. “I mean, even if he’s being pretty vague, he’s still giving a backstory for each fighter, getting the crowd invested, setting this up as some big climax... Don’t you think he might be doing that so that everyone knows this is the end of it once the winner’s decided?”
“Oh. That’d make sense... So he’s assuming Ado will win and making it so that Uru can’t try to talk his way out of it when he loses?” Shakti mused. “Framing it like that for this big crowd means Uru won’t have a leg to stand on once he loses here. Zelos is quite the schemer, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. It’s impressive... He came up with this plan to deal with Uru in no time at all. Still, I feel like he’s being a bit mean-spirited about it. Like, I can tell part of his motivation is just spite...” Lisa said.
While the reincarnator women had their criticisms of Zelos, they were overall impressed.
But it must be said that it was all a coincidence! Zelos had come up with the rules on the fly. He hadn’t had any clear intent in mind, let alone some secret master plan.
Maybe he would have put some sort of plan together if he’d known about everything in advance, but there was no way he could’ve devised perfect countermeasures for a situation that had developed as suddenly as this one had. He’d just been quick to react, that was all.
And that reaction, if anything, had honestly just been: Well, this has turned into quite a mess, hasn’t it? In which case, how about I make it the flashiest mess it can be?
That was what had led to this farce of a duel.
“Looks like our competitors are ready. Well, then, it’s time for Bride Battle: Sweetheart Versus Stalker to begin!”
“Toshiiiiii! You can do this!” Yui shouted from the sidelines.
“Don’t embarrass us by losing, Ado!” Lisa said.
“Watch out! I know this should be easy for you, but you could still lose if you let your guard down, okay?” Shakti warned him.
The other spectators joined in too:
“Think about how the girlie feels here, Uru!”
“She was looking forward to seeing ’er ’usband again, wasn’t she? Why’d you ’ave to go an’ get in their way?!”
“Be a man, dammit! Know when you’ve lost!”
“Forget about trying to steal another guy’s wife—you can marry me!”
“Iv ya lose, barry be! Bweh heh heh heh!”
“Oi! Yer already married, ain’tcha?! To me! You plannin’ ta get a divorce?!”
Some of these bystanders were odd folks, but they were all staring at the two young men with varying kinds of excitement as they waited with bated breath for the duel to begin.
Finally, Zelos raised his hand.
“All right, mages. On your marks, get set, GO!”
KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Using Explode, an area spell, Zelos suddenly blew up the wall dividing the two sides of the field. The resulting explosion opened a huge crater in the middle of the field, covering the whole area in a cloud of dust.
This was one stupid way to start a duel.
“Why’d you have to do that?!”
“Th-That power... He can use the highest-level magic? And could that mean that this man is just as...”
You had to be a pretty elite mage to throw around Explode like that.
After all, it was the kind of spell that typically got passed down from master to apprentice; it didn’t get taught at the Istol Academy of Magic. Uru, of course, wasn’t able to use it.
But while Ado had complained about Zelos using the spell, he didn’t seem all that surprised to see him use it.
And that, Uru figured, meant that Ado had already known Zelos could use Explode. Maybe Ado could use it too. Uru was starting to think Zelos might not have been lying after all when he’d warned Uru he had no chance of defeating Ado.
Only now was Uru realizing what a dangerous arena he’d stepped into—and how utterly outclassed he would’ve been in a standard duel.