The mysterious entity shouted like a certain tokusatsu hero from space as it leaped up high into the sky. Then, it came barreling down at Aquilata with a dropkick. Aquilata dodged, and the creature shot past her, toward Zelos and Ado.
“Aah—?!”
“Whoa?!”
It hit the ground, blasting an enormous plume of earth into the sky. Chunks of dirt rained over Zelos and Ado.
“Hey—that almost hit us!” Ado shouted at Aquilata. “Don’t just dodge, dammit! Plasma Lance!”
“Eep! D-Don’t be ridiculous! Are you saying I should simply die?!”
“That’s exactly what we’re saying.” Zelos nodded. “Cyclone.”
“Nwaaaaaah!”
While Aquilata managed to dodge Zelos’s air spell, it struck a direct hit on Flaress and swept her into the sky.
“Honestly, that almost looks fun,” Zelos said. “Not that I’d want to give it a try myself.”
“Yup. Sure would make things easier for us if that kills her,” Ado said.
“Gotta keep your eyes on the prize!” Windia said, suddenly behind them.
“GWAAAAAAH!”
They had no idea when Windia had gotten behind them, but she suddenly hit them with a powerful cyclone of her own, immobilizing them. Zelos and Ado had let their guards down when they realized just how unaccustomed to battle the goddesses were, but Windia had taken advantage of that to catch them unprepared.
But right as Windia attempted to finish them off, the cockroach creature shot at her with incredible speed and hit her with a straight right punch.
“Uuuh!”
“Shu, shu, shu, shuwa!”
After sending Windia flying, the cockroach creature crossed its arms and started gathering energy again.
“Ah, crap...” Zelos and Ado said at the same time.
“Shuwa!”
The sages deflected the mysterious light with a reflective barrier spell called Reflecting Mirror, redirecting it toward—once again—Flaress.
“Gaaaaaah!”
The hit blew out Flaress’s hair into a magnificent afro, transforming the Goddess of Fire into the Goddess of Slapstick.
“All of you!” she yelled. “Is it just me, or are you taking every chance you get to try to kill me?!”
“Y-You’re imagining things...” Windia shook a little. “Pfft!”
“Y-Yes!” Aquilata said. “Why would we ever do something like— Bfft!”
“I mean,” Ado said, “we were trying to kill you in the first— Gah hah hah!”
“Wouldn’t you say you deserve it?” Zelos asked. “Erm... Excuse me— Bwah hah hah hah hah hah!”
Even the cockroach creature joined in. “Shu...? Shu shu shu shu shu!”
Flaress had just crit everyone there with a special AoE attack called Funny Bone, just like you’d have expected from the Goddess of Slapstick. She’d caught everyone off guard with her surprise gag, and now, in the middle of a raging battle, no one could stifle their guffaws.
In fact, they all fell to their sides, rolling with laughter.
“You... You’re all getting along well, aren’t you...” Flaress simmered. “Fine, then... I’ll just give you all afros too!”
“She’s snapped?!” the other four said.
Consumed by rage, Flaress conjured an enormous fireball and threw it toward the others.
While the reincarnators and the two other goddesses dodged, the cockroach creature was still rolling with laughter, leaving it the sole target of Flaress’s literal flames of rage.
This hellfire far surpassed area magic. She wasn’t known as a goddess for nothing.
“That’s one down...” she muttered. “Now I’m gonna burn the rest of you to a crisp!”
“F-Flaress... Th-The enemies are over there!” Aquilata said. “Why are you targeting me?”
“You all laughed at my misfortune! You can all burn to death!”
“You’ve brought misfortune on plenty of people yourself, haven’t you?” Ado said. “Just because you’ve got an afro now doesn’t—Bah hah!—doesn’t negate all the horrible things you’ve done, you know? Hah... Ah-hah... Oh, my stomach hurts...”
“Human suffering means nothing to me! But this? No! I’ll give all of you this bouncy, frizzy hair too!”
“Ah—so you’re going to make yourself feel better by dragging everyone down with you?” Zelos asked. “You really are petty. A petty, cocky, afro-haired goddess...”
“I didn’t give myself this hair!”
“Sure you did! You’re the Goddess of Afros!” Windia said. “Of course the Goddess of Afros has an afro... Pfft!”
“W-Windia?! Even you?!”
Everyone but Flaress was in on the joke. She hadn’t realized, but her new hair had united her enemies. They’d overcome their anger and grudges to find common ground—temporary, perhaps, but common ground all the same.
Perhaps this new Goddess of Slapstick could bring world peace if she kept it up. But her thoughts were growing more and more simplistic now; she kept up a relentless barrage of attacks, single-mindedly determined to put others in the same situation as her.
“Uh, hey... Zelos? Is that—”
“What is it, Ado? And do remember we’re in the middle of a crisis right now—this afro-haired goth-loli’s threatening to make us all frizzy-haired. We’ll all end up looking funky if we don’t watch out.”
“No. Not that. Over there—inside that sea of flames. Is... Is there something moving in there?”
As Zelos looked toward the fire, he saw that there was, indeed, something moving inside.
It slowly stood, emanating an incredible aura, and walked through the blazing flames as calmly as if it were strolling through an empty field.
“You’re kidding me... Even all that fire didn’t do anything to it?!” Zelos said. “Is its armor fire-resistant?!”
“I thought insect monsters were supposed to be weak against fire, apart from the few that have evolved in fiery environments...” Ado said. “But this is a cockroach. Fire has to be its weakness, right?”
“I mean, it should be, but... Was I right earlier? Is this not actually a givlord? Is it actually Sanagiman?”
The mysterious cockroach creature released a huge tempest of mana, blowing away the flames. As it did, its bulky armor suddenly exploded, blasting fragments like grenade shrapnel.
The creature wasn’t just purging its armor; it was also shooting shards of armor so fast that no human could take a hit and come out unscathed. In fact, if you were unlucky enough, it could instakill.
“Guh!” Flaress choked.
“Waaaaaah!” Aquilata cried.
“Evacuate...” Windia murmured.
“D-Did it just cast off its armor?!” Ado said, before: “Bwaaaaaah!”
“So it did have a second form... Is this meant to be a tokusatsu hero or something?! Whoargh!”
Flaress had been hit. Again.