Hearing this exchange, I look down to the video’s title. I’ve never heard of the game before, but it’s the other words that draw my attention. Speedrun, national record, pro play. Those things must draw the interest of viewers, or at least make them angry, encouraging them to watch the video.
Even so, getting ten thousand views on her very first video is amazing.
I can’t help myself. “May I ask how you drummed up attention for the video?”
“Oh, I pretended to be someone else and carpet-bombed relevant threads on anonymous forms and comment sections on big blogs that talk about video games. Once that gets shared to social media, well, everything falls into place.”
Just like I thought, it seems you need to call in people from other places. But that introduces a big problem.
“And they just let you do that?” I ask.
“Well, you can’t be too persistent, or they block you. But as a computer whiz, that’s my time to shine! Knowing how to command arguments is a core skill on the internet. People will try to attack you, but boy, it feels good to surround them with multiple accounts and shut them down with a show of brute force.”
“I wish you wouldn’t teach her strange things like that,” says my neighbor.
“What are you saying? That’s a standard strategy in online battlefields.”
As we chat, the video continues to play. Futarishizuka progresses through the game, all the while commentating in that excitable, youthful voice.
“Waaah! Where are all the synthesis monsters? Come on, get out here, you big dumb oafs! I need to synthesize at least one piece of gear on this floor, or I’m gonna lose so much time in the midgame! Shizu’s gonna end up a small fry herself!”
I’ve never played this title, or really any video games. But even I can understand the player’s situation. Her commentary makes it easy to follow what’s going on. Her banter sounds casual, but I can tell she’s really using her head.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to stream in this style for the entire contest,” my neighbor says.
“Oh, what’s this? Has my mesugaki persona made your heart skip a beat?”
“No, I’m just genuinely curious. Isn’t acting like that embarrassing?”
“Hee-hee! Sounds like something a small fry would say!” Futarishizuka says in her high-pitched anime voice. “You’ve gotta abandon all your shame, or you won’t get any views!”
“I’m sorry. You’re frying my brain with that voice. Could you stop?”
“You know, I’ve always wondered if this kind of persona catches on because of how easy they are to spot and understand. I thought the same thing when everyone was into tsundere girls a while back. The key is being able to convey it without using illustrations—like with canned phrases and tropey voices.”
“Tsundere girls? Wasn’t that two decades ago? That’s more than a while back. I was still in high school, or college, I think.”
“Oh, Shizu just hates it when people say mean things like that! You need to learn to respect your elders…”
“Okay, now you’re just mixing it all up.”
What is a mesugaki? I wonder. Considering my neighbor’s reaction, maybe the concept is something worth learning about. I may not be able to fully assume that sort of character, but perhaps I can grasp the essence of the idea. I decide to look up tsundere, too, for good measure.
“Oh, I’ve heard of tsundere,” chimes in Makeup. “Those characters act all prickly in public, but as soon as they’re alone with the person they like, they go into heat right away. I saw a video once about how girls like that were popular in anime a long time ago.”
“I think you’ve misunderstood the finer points, but you’re mostly right,” says my neighbor.
“Hey, now. That was way off the mark,” insists Ms. Futarishizuka. “They’re prickly when they first meet their love interest, but then they start to open up as they interact and fall more and more in love. Your explanation makes it sound like they’re just shy.”
I guess I won’t have to look that one up after all.
Just then, I notice Blondie react.
“I didn’t know that was part of this country’s culture! Sasaki, do you like these ‘tsundere’ people?” she asks.
“My own opinion is beside the point,” he responds. “At the time, it was a social phenomenon.”
“When you say prickly, does that mean the ‘tsundere’ pushes away the other person?”
“Yes, essentially.”
“Oh, how fascinating.”
“Er, might I ask what you mean, Lady Elsa?”
“For a while now, when I see you looking troubled or worried, I feel my spine start to tingle. I thought perhaps the concept of ‘tsundere’ might explain it. If so, I’d very much like you to instruct me further in the matter.”
“……”
Is this girl for real? It sounds like she’s just a sadist!
My neighbor puts on a strange expression.
The way she feigns meekness, then suddenly throws out shockingly off-color jokes, upsetting my neighbor…is it all a manifestation of her unconscious sadistic tendencies? Is her spine tinging at this very moment?
“With all due respect, I believe that’s something else entirely,” says my neighbor.
“Is that so? How disappointing.”
I knew I couldn’t let my guard down around this blond girl. I can’t let her interact with my neighbor any further. What if he turns out to be a masochist? That would be terrible. I have to change the topic. But to what?
Before I can do anything, Makeup starts talking. “Putting aside all that indecent stuff, I’m impressed, Futarishizuka. You act all high-and-mighty, but you’re working pretty hard, aren’t you? Though I guess you were the one who suggested this whole thing.”
“Eh? Are you looking down on me, girlie?”
“That’s not what I meant. But if I offended you, then I apologize.”
“By the sound of things, you must have a plan you think can beat Shizu’s Gaming Dojo.”
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Just remember that the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
Makeup’s odd confidence makes me curious. She wears her heart on her sleeve, so if she’s acting like this, then she probably already has a lot of views. If she was in a bad situation, she would be a ball of nerves right now.
Ten thousand views is a major accomplishment. But those are baby numbers compared to when a video blows up in a big community. Miss Hoshizaki must be in a good enough position to see that.
Maybe it’s time for a little prodding. “I don’t mean to pry, but have you already uploaded a video?” I ask her.
“Oh, well, here and there.”
“…I see.”
That only makes me even more certain that she’s earned quite a lot of views already. In which case, it’s very likely that my neighbor and I are fighting for last place. As for Robot Girl, well, a diamond on a dunghill is still a diamond—and a bugged mechanical life-form is still a mechanical life-form. She’s probably already got a grasp on the human heart and is raking in the views.
I begin to worry about how to proceed. The contest’s winner gets to ask the loser for any request. In the best-case scenario, I win, and my neighbor gets last place. But I get the feeling there’s not much chance of that happening. That leaves me another choice—lose on purpose to keep my neighbor out of last place and prevent him from falling under the power of another woman. But if Makeup won and got to order me around, it would really piss me off.