Just going to a convenience store or supermarket in jeans and a T-shirt versus pants and a nice shirt made the clerks look at you differently. Maybe it was my imagination, but for a gross, poor older guy, it was a vital form of self-defense. A business card and a suit and tie—they alone would protect older dudes the world over.
“This certainly does seem like another world.”
“Convinced?”
“Yes, I think I finally get you.”
“Happy to hear it.”
It looked like he hadn’t been lying to me. A talking bird should probably have been enough to convince me, but the sensation of bricks beneath my feet dispelled every last doubt I had.
“But how does this connect to making money?”
“We can travel freely between this world and yours.”
“…And?”
“We can do business between the two worlds. Things that are cheap in your world may sell for a high price in this one. And inexpensive items from this world may be valuable in yours.”
“I see.”
“And that should be enough to put Kobe beef chateaubriand on my plate.”
“…I suppose.”
I had figured out what Peeps was implying. I had the feeling, though, that it would take a lot of time to build a watertight system for it. After all, he was suggesting the possibility of exchanging items from this world with yen—which was synonymous with circulating stolen goods.
And it would be very hard work for any of this to actually get chateaubriand onto our plates every day. It would cost tens of thousands of yen per meal, which would be over ten million yen per year. That wasn’t the kind of money you could ever take lightly.
“Peeps, that might be pretty difficult.”
“Why is that?”
“Even if we did obtain valuables in this world and bring them to mine, we’d have no way to convert it into money. If anyone asked where they came from, I wouldn’t be able to explain it.”
“…Why not?”
“If I was honest and told them it came from another world, it would be a catastrophe.”
“Could you not simply keep it secret?”
“I thought you’d say that—but no.”
If an ordinary, lifelong wage slave repeatedly brought things to a pawnshop, the shop owner would, beyond a shadow of a doubt, contact the police. Pawnshops actually work with the authorities in secret pretty frequently. If they asked me where I’d gotten the goods… Well, I couldn’t think of any way to get through that line of questioning.
Even if I was able to make the exchange, it would definitely be exposed on my tax return.
Japan, in particular, is very precise about managing currency circulation. Sex workers, for example, often get penalized with additional taxes by the government simply because they are self-employed and start working without understanding the system.
Even when your salary is paid in cash, it’s surprisingly easy to get caught. Tax office workers have ways to check into the flow of our money, and they’ve only gotten more effective as the digital economy has become more and more normalized. A remarkable number of people don’t know that one of the goals of a cashless society is so they have a perfect grasp of every single person’s expenditures.
I knew that if I was to continuously exchange high-value items for money in the public market, they’d start wondering where the items were coming from. If a tax office investigated me via my dealings with a pawnshop, it would be over just like that. Still, that didn’t mean I could ever make the decision to simply not pay taxes on public deals.
Japan has adopted a system of tax payment by self-assessment and a system of taxation by estimate. If they were to learn I’d been evading taxes, the tax office would force me to pay penalty taxes based on their calculations. To avoid that, I’d have to present a convincing legal case.
I could say a lot of things, but not that I’d brought treasures from another world. If I told them that, they’d interrogate me until I told them literally everything—and they’d take Peeps away from me. Plus, even if I went bankrupt, I would still have to pay the taxes.
Risks like that weren’t something I wanted to take. That meant we needed some way to prevent them from happening—such as money laundering, the kind you see a lot in yakuza films.
Ideally, I’d just be able to exchange the goods for yen and pay the taxes, but that was simply impossible. The whole idea was predicated on otherworld commodities that would never add up in the books. To make these deals a reality, I would need to come up with a better solution.
I explained all that to Peeps.
“Your world’s financial systems seem quite troublesome.”
“They really are.”
“But also incredible. It’s a wonderful system, in my opinion.”
Surprisingly, he was quite understanding. What a clever bird. I even thought, despite myself, that maybe recording us talking like this and uploading it to YouTube would be the quickest way to achieve our goal. I wouldn’t do it, though—I’d feel too sorry for him.
“And if we got things anyone could get and sold them at auctions or in flea markets, we wouldn’t be able to get your Kobe beef chateaubriand for dinner every day. It may take some time to accomplish what you’re suggesting.”
“Hmm…”
“On that note. How do those pork ribs sound for tonight?”
Depending on how you cooked them, pork ribs could be quite delicious. They were the king of all stir-fry ingredients, and pork kimchi was the best of all—perfect with rice.
“I suppose there is little choice. I must give up on enjoying myself in your world.”
“Sorry about that. And after you went through all the trouble of suggesting it.”
“In exchange, we shall enjoy this world instead. That suits you, does it not? My curiosity pertaining to the food and entertainment of your world is boundless, but the road is long, and there’s no rush. Sometimes, one can wait a short while, and the situation will change.”
“Does this world not have systems like ours?”
“Taxation exists, but it is nothing so strict.”
“Oh.”
That shouldn’t cause a problem, then.
As it happened, I had been getting pretty curious about our surroundings. Watching from where we were in the street, everything I saw was completely new to me, and I was in the mood for some sightseeing. If we could come and go at will, then it looked like my vacation plans for the time being were all set.
“It seems we have settled on that, then.”
“Sounds good to me.”
With the two of us in agreement, we went back to my apartment.
The next day was a weekday, which meant all good wage slaves had to go to the office at their assigned times. This day, however, it would be just a tiny bit different for me.
“Wow, we really can move here instantly…”
Peeps chanted a spell, and a magic circle emerged at my feet. A moment later, my surroundings had changed from the front door of my apartment to the back alley right next to where I worked. In the blink of an eye, we’d moved a dozen or so kilometers.
I had effortlessly evaded taking a packed train. What could possibly make me happier? That one man, older than me, who I fought for a seat every day—it frustrated me to forfeit my match with him, but on the other hand, it was kind of like moving into the major leagues from the minors. Thinking of it like that was satisfying.