Chapter 85

The seat closest to the aisle, facing the back of the train. From this spot, which had been firmly established as hers at some point without them ever talking about it, Kieli kept a sharp eye on the copper-haired man sitting kitty-corner from her, in the seat by the window facing the front of the train. He was casually letting his eyes roam the scenery outside, chin propped in his hand and head leaning on the window-pane. He hadn’t moved from that position in a while. After a few minutes, he abruptly lifted his head from the glass, easily rearranged his long legs, and reached a hand into his coat pocket. He got a cigarette out and into his mouth, movements easy and familiar even with only one hand now, and as soon as it was in position Kieli promptly held out a lighter in front of him. “Here. Go ahead,” she said with deliberate nonchalance. Harvey pulled back for a moment, shocked. But when Kieli calmly clicked the lighter and brought the fire to life without moving, he brought the tip of his cigarette in close and accepted the light with an extremely conflicted expression on his face. Kieli grinned to herself. That’s payback for before. “Well, look at that! You’re finally starting to get thoughtful.” At this tolerably impressed assessment from the radio by the window, Kieli shrugged lightly and smiled. “Aren’t I just?” It was the fourth day of their journey. At first she’d reacted every time the radio had tried to order her around, but once she’d started humoring it, things had gotten reasonably fun. She actually thought this might be fun, as long as it lasted only until they got to their destination. When you got right down to it, the Corporal was the Corporal, and he and Kieli were on the same wavelength a lot of the time, particularly about things to do with Harvey. Harvey himself was the only one out of step with things, in fact. He took the next puff on his cigarette with an expression on his face as though he’d just bitten a lemon. “You don’t have to be thoughtful about this. Why do you even know how to do it, anyway?” “Because I helped out a little bit at a bar Beatrix worked at,” Kieli answered easily. For some reason Harvey inhaled the wrong way and choked on his smoke. “…You’re kidding, right?” he pressed in a weirdly raw voice after he’d rescued his fallen cigarette. “No, it’s true. It was only a little bit, though. It was pretty interesting,” Kieli said as she pocketed the lighter she’d bought at the station. Harvey clicked his tongue in a really pissed-off way and then started mumbling invectives under his breath. She caught only a few snatches, including one that sounded like When I find that woman, she’s dead meat. Kieli almost never saw Harvey react like this; it was so entertaining she couldn’t help laughing—which made his coppery eyes narrow and look even more disgruntled. She stifled the laugh when he glared at her. She felt a little better now, somehow. When they’d left the parish border she’d been so uneasy, and she’d prepared herself for a more heavy-hearted journey, but whatever the circumstances might be, the three of them were still together. Being depressed won’t help anything. I’ll just do what I can, as well as I can. Once she put her doubts behind her like that, the somewhat out-of-the-ordinary relationships between the three of them seemed like a new, fresh experience, and she started to feel strangely as though she was redoing that fall two years ago when she’d met Harvey and the Corporal for the first time. The old days when Kieli was at the boarding school, and Becca was still with her. She’d met Harvey at Easterbury station, and she’d boarded his train thinking she’d tag along with him just for the length of the Colonization Days holiday, but that had been the beginning of a long, long journey. She and the Corporal had opened up to each other relatively quickly, but she and Harvey had gotten along awkwardly at first; he wouldn’t talk to her much, and they didn’t know each other very well yet…but she’d felt as if each discovery she made about him brought them a bit closer. Every little thing had sparkled for her, every little thing had excited her, and she’d wished their journey would never end. She was certain that feeling hadn’t changed, even now. As Kieli stepped out of the restroom car and out onto the deck, she remembered that reaction of Harvey’s and started laughing to herself all over again. She happened to meet the eye of a male passenger she’d come across on the deck at just that moment, so she tried to smooth it over with a polite smile and nod, but the smile came out strange and stiff. The man did return her greeting, but he gave her a funny look. This is really embarrassing… Kieli hurried away, flushing. However, when she was about to step through the connecting door into the next car, she heard something like a moan behind her. She took her hand off the lever and turned back to the deck, only to see that same man curled into a ball on the floor where he’d stood. “Um…” Kieli hesitated a little, but she couldn’t just leave him there, so she walked back up to him. When she stooped over to check on him, she saw that his bent back was heaving and his breathing sounded strained. “Are you all right?” “It’s nothing, I’m just a little train-sick…” the man answered in a feeble voice, lifting one hand a little. He didn’t look up. Kieli scratched her head for a few moments, unable to decide whether she should tell a conductor or try to find someone in his party to help him. Hesitantly, she reached out to at least rub his back for him, but he cut her off with a wave. “I’m fine now. Thanks.” Then he stood up under his own power, although he didn’t look too steady on his feet. “What car are you in? I can walk you back there, if that’s okay.” “Oh, I’m in the same car as you.” Kieli couldn’t quite understand what he meant right away. “…Um, do you mean Car Nine?” She and Harvey were in Car Nine. “Right, exactly. That one.” The man nodded, so Kieli ended up just sort of naturally accompanying him back to Car Nine. “Are you on a trip?” the man asked her amiably as they walked down the aisle of Car Eight. He’d been quite sick just a minute ago, but now he seemed all better. Wondering what had been the matter with him, Kieli nodded with a vague smile and an “I suppose so.” They were on a trip, technically, but it wasn’t for the sort of lighthearted reasons that come to mind when you think of a “trip.” “I see,” said the man, beaming. “So am I. I’m here with my daughter. You see, we both love going on trips.” “Right…” “Do you like to travel?” It was a casual question. Kieli thought about her answer a little before she gave it. “…Yes, I do. Sometimes I even think it’d be nice if I could ride the trains forever.” She found herself smiling, just a teeny bit wryly, but honestly, nonetheless. Their conversation brought them all the way to Car Nine. When she pulled the lever and opened the door, a funny feeling gripped her for just a moment, as if she’d stumbled into the wrong car. She checked the plate over the door, but it clearly said Car Nine. Kieli tilted her head in confusion. “Papa!” cried a bright soprano voice as a girl ran up to them from a set of facing seats near the middle of the car. She flung herself at the man, who greeted her with a smile. “Here we are. Thank you very much,” the man told her, taking a seat with his daughter. They were in the set of seats just behind Kieli’s. Apparently they’d been sitting right nearby the whole time. “Thanks!” called the girl, waving with her father. She looked to be a few years younger than Kieli. As Kieli waved back and smiled, she thought that the bright hair divided into two pigtails on either side of this girl’s head reminded her of Becca somehow. She went back to her own seat feeling satisfied at having helped someone, even if she hadn’t done too much. Harvey was smoking with his elbow propped on the windowsill. He glanced up at her and said, “Took you long enough. What were you doing?” “Hmm? Oh, nothing much,” Kieli answered vaguely, taking her usual place kitty-corner from him. Harvey returned his gaze to the window, not looking particularly interested. She hunched her shoulders, feeling just a little bit miffed that he’d asked her what she was doing and then not bothered to press her when she didn’t answer. “Herbie,” called the radio by the window. “Harvey,” Harvey corrected as usual, glaring peevishly at it. “History homework is right up your alley. Even more so if it’s Church history—you could tell her more than she’d ever want to know. You should just help her already.” “You’re kidding. Why should I?” Harvey retorted immediately, scowling. Listening to them, Kieli thought Oh, right. Technically I’m on this trip to write my Church history report. Considering that this fact directly concerned her, she should really have realized it before the other two did. Reports are such a pain… When she thought about when Colonization Days would end and she’d have to go back to the boarding school, she started to feel a little gloomy. Damn the woman, making Kieli work a job like that… Cursing mentally, Harvey jabbed the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray by the window with uncalled-for force. It made him seriously want to track her down and give her a piece of his mind. Though at the same time, since he couldn’t imagine he had a chance against her in a verbal argument, he also got the feeling that his “piece of his mind” would end with her getting the last word. He’d just put out his cigarette, but a long sigh escaped him like exhaling smoke. He’d considered, as one of his options, leaving Kieli in Beatrix’s care again when they found her and setting out for the capital on his own. As a pretty attractive option, in fact. But since they hadn’t gotten a single lead on Beatrix’s whereabouts, he hadn’t been able to really make a move since they’d come back from Westerbury, so the trip to the capital was on hold. It made him impatient, but on the other hand he suspected he was half-relieved that he wouldn’t have to leave Kieli behind until then. Am I using Beatrix as a convenient excuse to put off dealing with my problems…? When he thought about that, he felt himself sinking subtly into self-loathing. “Master, you keep sighing lately. Is something weighing on your mind?” asked the radio propped more or less right above the train’s fixed ashtray. Stupid question, asked in a stupid voice. Feeling a migraine coming on, Harvey gave an even deeper sigh. “Right now what’s weighing on my mind is you.” “What?! I’m making you worry, Master? This is horrible—I have no choice but to atone with my death…!” “Seriously, you’re already dead.” The offhand jibe was all Harvey had in him; he didn’t have the energy to deal with the Corporal anymore. He leaned his head heavily on the windowpane. He was so used to the view of the gently sloping wilderness that it just slid past his eyes without making any claim on his brain. The scenery practically looked static, and the more he stared at the boring sight, the more all his synapses threatened to come to a halt, too. And then far off in the distance, at the very edge of his field of vision, he saw a great swaying shadow in the sky above the northern fault line. Harvey lifted his chin from his hand and squinted. His right eye went out of focus and blurred the image, so he concentrated on the vision out of his left and looked closely. What is that, a tower…? Something that looked like a man-made, spired structure was gently wavering in the sand-colored smog that drifted through the air. He was fairly certain there wasn’t a town there. Gradually other passengers in their car noticed it too, until a group of them were plastering their faces into the window glass and peering excitedly. Was it a mirage…? Fzzsh… Suddenly he heard an alien static crackle from the radio’s speaker. “…Did you just say something, Corporal?” “Hmm?” The radio’s blank response was infused with a static Harvey hadn’t heard until now. When he focused his attention and listened, although it was almost too faint to make out, he realized the static had a fluctuation to it like a new wavelength. A fluctuation with dynamics that sounded like some sort of music. “Where is that signal coming from?” “Huh? I’m only picking up the same frequency as usual…” Harvey didn’t quite trust the radio’s response, but evidently a different signal was interfering slightly with the guerrilla station’s frequency. Something struck him. He returned his attention to the shape above the fault. The other passengers were still gazing at it, whispering excitedly. A towerlike building, radio waves broadcasting music on the guerrilla station’s frequency— radio—tower— Strings of words ran through his head, tugging at his mind. From this car the angle was all wrong for him to see the tracks ahead of them, but he was pretty sure they were getting close to the next station. Maybe I’ll try getting off for a while… It was then that he realized something. “Hey, where’s Kieli?” “She never came back from the toilet, did she? For goodness’ sake, where could that stupid girl have wandered off to?” Harvey was already standing up by the time the radio finished its invective (which was exactly the type that normally would have been directed at him). “Are you going to search the bathroom for her, Master?” Ah, good point, he thought, sitting back down. There was still some time, and she’d probably be back by the time they pulled into the station. Harvey leaned against the window again and gazed at the faraway floating tower. It would mean an abrupt change in their travel plans, but if his instincts were right (and for better or worse, his gut feelings were hardly ever wrong), it was probably worth spending a little time looking into that thing. “Um, hey. Harvey, have you noticed that there’s no God in the Church?” “What are you talking about? Have I noticed…?” As Harvey brought the lighter to his cigarette, he gave her a funny look. He didn’t deny it, though; rather, he seemed to be wondering why she would be asking about something so obvious. Kieli automatically brightened. She continued enthusiastically. “Do you know why that is? I think this planet was too far away, so He went back home…” Before she could get very far, someone was standing by her seat. She looked up to see a man in a high-collared dark blue uniform standing in the aisle. “Oh.” She hurriedly pulled a ticket out of her school uniform pocket and offered it to the conductor. The conductor leaned over and peered at the ticket, then smiled as if to say “You’re okay.” Kieli smiled bashfully back at him. Come to think of it, wasn’t it my childhood dream to be a conductor? For some reason she felt nostalgic all of a sudden, and her eyes started to sting with oncoming tears. She couldn’t think what had brought the feeling on, though. “Want a cookie?” said an innocent voice, and someone held out a paper bag to her from overhead with a little rustling noise. When Kieli cut off her train of thought and looked up, the girl from before who’d been sitting in the seats behind them was leaning out over the backrest, peeking into their seats. The girl in twin pigtails, who looked a little like Becca. She was holding the bag of cookies in both hands and grinning, so Kieli smiled at her and took a cookie. “Thanks.” She could hear the girl’s father’s voice from the other side of the backrest saying “Stop it, that’s dangerous,” but the girl paid no attention to him, happily seesawing back and forth on her stomach. “You want some too, Mister?” she asked Harvey, untroubled. “No,” Harvey refused flatly, without even lifting his head to look at her. “Grumpy! No fun!” the girl declared with extreme bluntness, and then stuck her hand into the bag and fished out her own cookie. Kieli couldn’t stifle a giggle. She really was like Becca. Before she could help it, her thoughts turned to a future that had never happened: she was sure if Becca had come with them on the trip, it would have been lively in just this way. “I love traveling! I’ve been traveling with Papa forever,” the girl informed her as she munched on her cookie. “Yeah, I like it too,” Kieli answered with a smile, and brought her own cookie to her mouth. “How long have you been on the train?” “Huh? Um…” She’d been about to give an offhand answer, but for some reason only fuzzy numbers were coming to her, and she couldn’t reply right away. Wait, when did I get on? Kieli racked her brain for several seconds, but by then the girl had changed the subject to herself without listening to Kieli’s answer. “I’ve been riding it for about ten years, I think.” “Huh,” murmured Kieli, but she was privately impressed. The girl couldn’t be more than a few years past ten from the looks of her, so she must have started traveling when she was really little. “Hey, will you be my friend?” “Sure, if that’s all right with you.” They’d probably end up being friends only until they got off the train, but Kieli’d felt drawn to this girl who looked like Becca, so she agreed gladly. The girl screamed a delighted “Yes!” “All these people are my friends, too. We all get along.” The passengers in the other seats started to gather around them too, bringing all different sorts of refreshments. They struck up conversations with good-natured smiles. It was sort of cozy, like they were all old acquaintances. “I love traveling, too. I’ve been riding for just about fifteen years now.” “Well, I’ve been traveling for over twenty years.” “Trains are just wonderful, aren’t they? I could ride for decades and not get tired of it.” Kieli looked around at all the passengers falling over one another to brag about their travel experiences (actually, it seemed more as though they were just saying how long they’d been on the train), and though she smiled back at them, she was starting to feel a little spooked. She shot a diagonal glance at Harvey that said Aren’t these people a little strange?, but Harvey actually spoke up and said, “Me, I’ve been traveling for eighty years,” looking perfectly at home. Kieli knew that, of course, but…It felt as if she was being left out of the group, with nothing to do with herself. This time she darted a quick look toward the radio at the window for help. Outside the window, a white platform and a station house were coming into view. She felt somewhat relieved that they were reaching a station, until— Huh? —instead of slowing down, it felt as if the train was speeding up, and they shot past the platform in no time. It was no abandoned station; she’d seen people ready to greet arriving passengers, and people who looked as if they were waiting for the train… Something was definitely strange here. Kieli got up and started to step into the aisle, but the girl grabbed her by the shirt. “Where are you going?” “What’s the matter? I thought you liked traveling, too. So you can just keep riding forever.” “Traveling is so much fun. It makes you wish the journey would never end.” “If you stay here, you can stay on this fun trip forever.” “Come on. You won’t go anywhere, will you? You said you’d be my friend!” More passengers came up to her, clamoring one and all for her to stay. By this point every single passenger in the car was surrounding Kieli in a throng. Behind the smiles of the people she’d thought were so cheerful, Kieli glimpsed madmen. “Harvey!” she cried, turning back to their seats for help, but Harvey was serenely smoking his cigarette as he regarded her distress. If anything, he looked confused. “What’s wrong? Stay on the train. Don’t you want to travel with me forever?” Kieli shuddered. Before, she’d thought something was off, but now she knew. Harvey would never say something like that—and for that matter, this Harvey had a right arm. Why hadn’t she questioned that until now? This wasn’t the Harvey of now. This was Harvey from when she’d met him two years ago in Easterbury. She should have known from the fact that she was wearing her school uniform that something funny was going on, but until this moment it had seemed only natural. “You can’t get off now. We were sucked into this place ten years ago. Come on, stay with us. We’re not lonely if we’re all together…” The train hurtled faster and faster, and each patch of scenery out the window was gone almost before it appeared. The girl and the other passengers grabbed at her clothes and hands, and Kieli lurched this way and that as they pulled, calling with all her might for someone who wasn’t here. “HARVEY!” Where did she go? Harvey was at a total loss. He hadn’t figured she could get lost inside the train. As he looked left and right, standing stock-still in the center of the platform where he was in pretty much everyone’s way, the hurried flow of passengers disem-barking and passengers boarding branched in two around him like a river hitting a sandbar, and then merged together again once it was past.