The day after my long phone call with Miori. Monday.
I entered my classroom a little earlier than usual. Despite that, over half the class was already present. Nanase was among them as well. When she noticed me, she gave me a small wave. Her complexion looks fine, at least. That’s a relief. Her gestures are cute today as well.
I walked up to her and said, “I’m asking just in case, but nothing’s wrong with your health, right?”
She smiled. “Right. As you can see, I’m bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”
“’Sup, Natsuki. I heard what happened,” Tatsuya said.
Our usual group congregated around Nanase.
“Did you tell everyone?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “I was unsure how to approach the situation, but Hikari persuaded me.”
“We’ll help, of course, but wouldn’t it be better to discuss next steps with everyone?” Hikari asked her. “Besides, all of us are Yuino-chan’s precious friends, right?”
Uta gave a thumbs-up. “No duh!”
“If there’s anything we can do, we’ll help,” Reita said, gentle as ever.
“Hell yeah, we will,” Tatsuya said brusquely.
“Th-Thank you.” Nanase appeared somewhat abashed.
She’s usually the one doing the protecting, after all.
“Although, it was all news to me—I was shocked!” Uta glowered at Nanase.
“I-I’m sorry.”
Now she’s shrinking back. I’m seeing all sorts of new sides to Nanase lately. Then again, she’s never been vulnerable with us before.
“Well, Yuino-chan rarely spoke about the piano,” Hikari said, covering for Nanase by attempting to placate Uta.
“Hmph... Fiiine!” Uta, whose cheeks had been puffed up, perked back up when Hikari patted her head. In response, Nanase patted Hikari’s head out of habit.
Look at this precious moment... We’re close to world peace like this.
“By the way.” Nanase turned her gaze on me. “Haibara-kun, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”
“Sure,” I said with a nod. Did she think of a solution?
“Only Natsuki?” Tatsuya interjected with a small frown.
“Nagiura-kun?” Nanase blinked at him in surprise. Everyone else wore the same expression as her, silently staring at him.
“Wh-What? Don’t look at me like that.” He awkwardly turned away.
Nanase broke into a smile. “You’re right. I’d like to discuss something with all of you, not just Haibara-kun.”
Reita smirked and slapped Tatsuya on the shoulder. “Good for you, Tatsuya.”
“Shut up.” Tatsuya scratched his head as though he were trying to hide his embarrassment.
✦ ✦ ✦
Come to think of it, Nanase and Tatsuya are pretty close. I heard she was a major player in improving his grades. They make a pretty unexpected duo, though.
“Huh, Tatsu. Nicely said,” Uta chimed in, grinding her elbow into his side. Although her tone and expression were playful, her eyes somehow seemed kinda unhappy. “Hmm? Natsu, something wrong?”
Because I had found her reaction odd, I’d been staring at her. She tilted her head at me questioningly. She looks the same as usual now. I guess it was just my imagination. “No, nothing.” I shook my head and drove away the doubt. Then, we all waited quietly for Nanase to organize her thoughts.
“What I’d like to discuss,” she began slowly, “is how to go about conquering my condition.”
I expected that would be the topic.
All of our expressions turned serious, and we nodded.
“I spoke to a psychiatrist about the particular symptoms I’m exhibiting, and according to them, if I’m experiencing hyperventilation due to anxiety and fear, I should first attempt mental training to overcome those negative images. Currently, memories of times I’ve failed onstage are imprinted on my mind, so when I’m in the same position, I recall that intense anxiety.”
“I see...” Thought so. Now that we have an expert’s opinion too, we know it’s even more likely that the root of her problem is something psychological.
“Is it difficult for you to ignore those thoughts?” Uta asked.
Nanase nodded. “Yes. This part depends on a person’s personality...but in my case, the more I try not to pay attention to it, the more I think about it... It ends up consuming my mind.”
“Which means it actually gets worse when you try not to think about it?”
“It may be even worse than that. Given my personality, this may be an impossible task. My doctor said a more effective treatment would be to practice under the same conditions but with a different mindset.”
Yeah, she wouldn’t be struggling if she could just stop thinking about something when told to. People aren’t so simple. Everyone seemed to understand that, because we all listened to her attentively.
“Practice in the same environment but with a different mindset? That’s a bit scary,” Hikari remarked, worried that Nanase might faint again.
“To begin with, it would be difficult to recreate the environment of a piano competition multiple times,” Reita pointed out, calm as always.
“That’s...true.” Even if we set aside our concerns for Nanase, if she keeps causing an uproar like last time, her reputation as a pianist will not only fall, but she might even be banned from entering piano competitions altogether. And in the case where she doesn’t faint, she might not be able to perform at her best either. We can’t repeat that in front of an audience over and over again.
“I agree. I would also like to avoid having multiple breakdowns at competitions. Partially because of my pride...but I also feel awful about distressing the audience.”
“Then... Hmm, what’re our options?” Tatsuya grumbled.
“I think I should start small and take baby steps from there.” Nanase suggested the same thing I’d secretly been thinking.
“Take baby steps? How?” Uta asked. I could practically see the question marks floating over her head.
“When I play piano alone, I don’t exhibit any of the symptoms.”
“I see,” Reita said. “You could gradually increase the size of your audience or change the location. With that strategy, you can train your mind as you get closer to an actual competition environment.”
“I’d expect nothing less from you, Shiratori-kun. That’s exactly right.”
Reita anticipated the plan perfectly. As usual, he’s great at making reads.
Nanase nodded, and with great difficulty continued. “Therefore, if you could help me, I’d like to play the piano in front of you all. It would take up your time, though, and I’m sorry about that.”
The first to respond was Uta. “I’m totally down to do that for you, Yui-Yui!”
“Honestly, I really want to hear you play,” Reita added.
“If I don’t have practice, just say the word and I’m there. I’ll even keep you company after practice too.” Tatsuya’s tone was gruff, but his words were full of warmth.
“Count me in too, of course! I’m your best friend, after all!” Hikari put on her brightest smile and made a peace sign.
“I don’t have to repeat my stance again, right?” I asked.
Nanase looked like she was close to tearing up as she smiled. “Thank you, all of you. I’m over the moon. I really am,” she said through sobs, her voice trembling ever so slightly.
She covered her face with her hands, and no one teased her for it.
✦ ✦ ✦
And so, Nanase’s special training to overcome her condition commenced.
“I decided to take a break from work for the time being.”
She had reduced her shifts to prepare for the competition, but now she had elected to completely drop all of them. By way of repaying everyone’s kindness, she wanted to pour all her concentration into the piano.
“Leave Café Mares to me!” I said.
Our job wasn’t a particularly hectic one in the first place. Recently, we’d even gained a new hire, so we had enough staff. Covering for Nanase wouldn’t be a huge issue, nor would there be a need for me to take on too many shifts either.
“Okay, so Hikari and I are going to your place to listen to you play today,” I said.
We were increasing our number of spectators with caution. After all, it would’ve been terrible if Nanase fainted again.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
“Just checking, but are you sure you’re okay starting with two people instead of one?” I asked.
“Yes. I’ve already confirmed that I’m capable of performing in front of one person.”
True. When Nanase played for me in the music room, there were no issues with her performance. She did look a little distressed, though, so she shouldn’t push it.
“Well then,” she said. “I’ll return home first to prepare, and then you two can join me once I’m done. How does that sound?”
“Sure thing.”
That’s how it was decided that Hikari and I would go to Nanase’s house together. Now that I think about it, I haven’t even been to Hikari’s house before. I never thought the first girl’s house I’d visit would be Nanase’s... Oh, Miori’s house doesn’t count, by the way.