“Would it be possible to have an interview with this taxi driver in custody?” the president asks. “The driver is currently on board a special military aircraft that is still in the sky as we speak. It’s keeping him safe from any assassination attempts by the Mafia, but it also makes getting an interview with him extremely difficult.” Even the Mafia wouldn’t be able to reach their target if he’s in the sky. Unfortunately, that makes getting information from our witness a difficult task as well. “I will speak with the military police’s intelligence department. I want you to get in contact with whoever you can on that aircraft and have the cabdriver answer our questions in writing.” “I’ll prepare the necessary documents immediately.” It’s unlikely that the cabdriver is the Azure Apostle. It just wouldn’t make sense for him to go out of his way to e-mail us with information on where the kidnapped victims were being held. In a way, he’s also a “victim” who got ratted out by the Azure Apostle. But then that begs the question: How are the taxi driver and the Azure Apostle connected? At any rate, all we can do now is hope that he knows something. “Everyone, listen up. What we have here is a cowardly attack on the Armed Detective Agency. We have two objectives: find the aggressor and disarm the bomb. Defusing the bomb within the time limit is our top priority. If we allow that bomb to kill anyone, then we do not have the right to call ourselves detectives anymore. Understand that your pride as humans, not as detectives, is on the line. Now get started.” And with those orders from the president, everyone stands and promptly begins to take action. The investigation is so busy that there is hardly a moment to breathe. The deadline is sundown today. Until then, we have to search the city and find that bomb. There’s no time. I think back to the investigation that led to this and pick up the phone. I asked Rokuzo to trace the first e-mail, which could potentially help solve this case. After listening to the phone ring for a while, Rokuzo finally picks up. “Heeey… This is Taguchi. Sorry I’m not…yaaawn…here right now. Seeya.” “I don’t have time for your games. This is urgent.” “Oh, is that you, Four-Eyes? Do you have any idea what time it is? It’s nine in the morning, for cryin’ out loud!” “You’re the only one still sleeping at nine in the morning, you social misfit. Start acting like a normal person and go outside more. It’s good for your health.” “Tsk. Who d’you think you are, my dad?” “No, I—” I can’t be your father. I swallow the words before they slip off my tongue. “Anyway, there’s been a change of plans. I need you to trace that client’s e-mail and find out who they are as quickly as possible. Have you made any progress?” “Oh, that? It turned out to be a lot more difficult than I thought. I won’t get technical on you, but they’re using multiple hubs to hide their tracks. This wasn’t the work of an amateur.” I am already painfully aware of that. “I received another e-mail from the same sender. Could you find the source if you had that?” “It would help, but I can’t say anything for sure until I try… There are other ways to do this, though.” “What do you mean?” “I could send a virus to the hub and use it to trace the source from there. It’d take some work, but it’s reliable. I’d kind of have to break the law, though.” “It’s fine. The ends justify the means. Do it.” “Whoa. You serious? You, Mr. By-the-Book? I’m recording this call, y’know. What if I told you to hand over the recording of me hacking into your detective agency in exchange for this conversation?” “Then I’d do it. Just hurry, okay?” I never planned on handing it over to the authorities in the first place. I just said that to have an excuse to get Rokuzo’s assistance. Apparently, he hasn’t figured that out, though. “Wow. How generous of you, Four-Eyes. You better have some cash waiting for me when this is over.” The phone clicks. I ponder in silence with the receiver still in hand. This is no time to get sentimental. The bomb is top priority. We’re going to have the deaths of innocent lives on our hands if we don’t find it in time. Still, we have no leads. Damn it. What the hell is Dazai thinking, disappearing at a time like this? It isn’t long before I find Dazai during my search downtown. He’s at an old-fashioned café facing the road, trying to chat up a woman. “Is this your first time in Yokohama? I could show you around if you want.” “Really? You would do that for me? But I’d feel terrible… I mean, it sounds as if things are rather chaotic at the detective agency with the bomb threat. You even said Detective Kunikida has been busy with phone calls and the investigation all morning.” “He’s a workaholic—a real glutton for punctuality. I mean, get this: If you tell him to meet you at around twelve o’clock, he’ll show within ten seconds of twelve every time. What is he, a train?” “Oh my… You don’t say.” “Dazai! What do you think you’re doing, skipping work?! And don’t use me in your attempts to pick up women!” “Oh, and when we were at this abandoned hospital, Kunikida thought he saw a ghost, and he started shrieking like a little girl—” “Don’t ignore me!” I slap Dazai on the back of the head while he merrily chats with Miss Sasaki. “Ouch! What was that for, Kunikida? Hmm? …Kunikida? How long have you been there?” “Don’t play dumb. You knew I was behind you. Anyway, what do you think you’re doing? We have a dire emergency on our hands, and you’re out on some kind of fancy date? Not only that, you’re out with a victim from one of our cases!” “Are you jealous?” “I’m not jealous!” I am in no way jealous. Absolutely not. “Come on—don’t be like that. She was almost killed by some monster. The poor gal’s traumatized. Isn’t it our duty as a detective agency to protect her and provide emotional support? And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she’s fallen on hard times.” “You should have just shut up while you were ahead.” …I’ll have to write that tidbit down in my notebook later. “Besides, how could someone as flippant as you even have a chance?” Surely a woman this beautiful must already be seeing someone. “And that’s just what makes you Doppo Kunikida. I asked, and she doesn’t have a family or anyone she can go to. Also, she and her boyfriend separated not too long ago.” …I remember her mentioning she didn’t have anyone to turn to, but I had no idea it was this severe. “So she’s available, Kunikida.” Dazai grins, gently elbowing me in the side. “Available for what?” I’ll just make a face like I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Listen, Dazai. I came here to fill you in on what we discussed at this morning’s meeting, which you so happened to skip. And if I catch you skipping again, I’m going to take every appropriate measure to successfully resuscitate you the next time you try to kill yourself.” “Oh, that’s dirty. You’re sick, Kunikida.” Dazai makes a disgusted expression. Satisfied, I place the documents in hand on the table and spread them out. “This is the latest information. We received a recording of the kidnapper’s statement during the military police’s questioning. It appears he admitted to kidnapping the victims and gassing them so they couldn’t escape. However, that’s all he admitted. He claims he didn’t know about the surveillance equipment, and it’s unlikely he would lie about it now. That’s why—” “There must be at least two people behind this, right? The person who kidnapped the victims and the person who recorded everything: The former is the driver, while the latter is the Azure Apostle, I’m guessing?” “Conceivably, yes.” “Um…” Miss Sasaki timidly speaks up. “Are you sure I should be listening to this? Wouldn’t this fall under confidential information?” “You’re a victim, Miss Sasaki, and you’re just as much a part of this as we are, so don’t worry about a thing. If you weren’t, Mr. Stickler-for-Rules right here wouldn’t have started explaining things with you around.” “I am not particularly strict about rules. This is normal.” “See? He even jokes around sometimes. Hilarious, am I right? Anyway, any new leads on the criminal we’re after?” “I’m completely normal.” “…Sorry, you’re right. It’s completely normal. So can you continue filling me in on what’s going on?” Why did he apologize? “We looked into the cabdriver’s history, and as far as we could tell, he had no connections with any underground shady businesses. The data makes him seem like nothing more than your ordinary taxi driver. He has no criminal history and no reputation for hanging with the wrong crowd. And yet, I have a hard time believing he came up with the idea to kidnap people and sell their insides to an organ-trafficking syndicate on his own. Someone must have told him about this get-rich-quick scheme.” “Someone like the Azure Apostle? Couldn’t we just ask the driver who told him?” “He won’t tell us. He thinks if he talks, they’ll really kill him this time. I’d love to pull each and every hair off his head until he gives us something, but unfortunately, he’s under heavy surveillance over the clouds right now. We’d run out of time before we could pull enough strings to get an interview with him.” Just who’s behind all this? Not only did they approach the taxi driver with the organ trade offer, set up surveillance equipment in that abandoned hospital, and make a bomb, they also set said bomb somewhere in the city and are trying to threaten the agency. But why? What are they after? “I hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries here, but…” Miss Sasaki suddenly speaks up. “Do you think this Azure Apostle could be the criminal behind the Azure Banner Terrorist incident?” “Hmm…” The Azure Banner Terrorist case—the incident that cost Rokuzo’s father his life. The moment I saw the word azure in his name, I briefly played with the idea myself. “But the terrorist behind that incident, the Azure King, died in the blast as well. The dead cannot threaten the living. That much is certain in this world.” “Oh, so does that mean you’re not afraid of ghosts anymore, Kunikida?” “Never speak of ghosts again.” “But it was a large explosion, yes? I heard they never found the Azure King’s body, either. What if he faked his death to escape and is now in hiding somewhere?” I had wondered that myself, which is why I contacted the military police. However, they said that wasn’t possible. “According to police analyses, the Azure King undoubtedly perished in the blast. They have the latest forensic technology available, and some of their comrades died in the explosion as well, so it’s hard to imagine they would overlook anything.” “But…” “Well, I dunno much about this Azure King, but is he really someone who would crawl out of the pits of hell to take vengeance on the agency?” Dazai’s ignorance never ceases to amaze me. I reluctantly explain. The Azure King was the mastermind behind the Azure Banner Terrorist incident that targeted and destroyed government facilities. He was known as the worst and most destructive domestic terrorist threat of postwar Japan. Once said to be an excellent state government official before raising the azure banner, the ambitious youth graduated at the top of his class from an elite educational institution, then worked as a central civil servant in the executive and legislative world after studying abroad. Yet, somewhere along the line, he mysteriously began to aspire to cleanse society through its destruction. Then one day, a certain video recording was sent to a major domestic broadcasting station. It was a video of a young man whose face had been obscured by an azure banner. He called himself the Azure King and claimed he was going to commit an act of terror. He then told of how he lamented for this imperfect world and that such imperfections could only be buried by other imperfections. “No matter how much we aspire to, our neighbors will fall ill, our parents will die, and only a small fraction of evildoers will see justice. Then let us realize an ideal world, not by the hand of a god but by our own imperfect bloodstained hands.” And with those final words, three domestic government facilities were simultaneously attacked: The city police’s associated facility was set on fire, something collided with a government vehicle, and a military post was hit with a bomb. A later investigation revealed that the eight people he killed included a murderer who was found not guilty due to the prosecutor’s insufficient paperwork, a member of parliament who was rumored to have been embezzling funds meant to aid refugees from industrializing nations, and a military platoon that beat a young military policeman to death before systematically covering up the act. These eight people all perished in the attack. The Azure King committed an act of evil to execute criminals who couldn’t be punished by the law. This blitz tactic shocked everyone. He was able to simultaneously attack and destroy multiple strictly guarded and heavily protected government facilities. Nobody even imagined such an attack was possible. And the Azure King’s terrorist acts continued further. Disgraced, the military and government gave nationwide orders to locate and arrest him. Even the detective agency was asked to help. What happened after that was exactly how I explained before. His hideout was discovered, and those who went inside were killed in his suicidal blast. The case was solved at the cost of innocent lives. “But if the one behind this really is the Azure King, then why would he be so persistent in trying to tarnish the agency’s name?” “Maybe because you’re the one he has a grudge against, Kunikida.” A grudge? Against me? I mean, I was the one who contacted the police and led them to his whereabouts, but… It can’t be. The ghost of the Azure King, the worst terrorist this country has ever seen, returned from the grave to have his revenge on the agency and me because of a grudge? “At any rate, we’d best keep our guard up until we know who we’re dealing with. There’s no way of knowing who’s going to attack us or when they’re going to do it. We have to take Miss Sasaki somewhere safe as well.” “Perhaps the agency office? Oh, but nobody’s there at night. Hmm…” That’s when I suddenly catch on to what Dazai’s up to. “I seriously hope you’re not trying to find an excuse to keep her at your place to ‘protect’ her, because I will not allow such lewd, immoral, unhealthy relations to continue any longer. Honestly, were you raised by savages or something? Absolutely appalling. If it were me, y’know, I’d first make her feel comfo—” “Hold on, Kunikida. You know there’s nothing going on between Miss Sasaki and me, right?” “What?” “Listen, the first day she stayed over, I slept in another room. I haven’t laid a finger on her. C’mon, do you really think I’d try to seduce a woman who was almost killed earlier that day? I’ve got a little more sense than that. Besides, I’d have to deal with you if that ever happened, and I’d rather not.” Oh… It looks like I jumped to conclusions. “I can’t deny that I knew you had the wrong idea, and I just decided not to say anything ’cause it was funny, though.” You little… That said, a pure, honest man such as myself could have had it much worse in this kind of situation. Dazai could have said something like “You assumed the worst all because she spent the night at my place? Gee, Kunikida, you’re a real perv.” I wouldn’t be able to refute that, and I’d probably die an agonizing death on the spot. I guess I should just be thankful that didn’t happen. …But how could I not imagine something like that? This is Dazai we’re talking about. In any case, if there is anything to be thankful for, it’s that he’s not some lecher who jumps on any woman he can get his hands on. Keeping a professional distance from the victim is more difficult than I thought. “Just stop wasting my time, Dazai. If nothing happened, then we have nothing to worry about. But from now on, let’s make sure to keep a healthy distance during work and forge proper relationships with our clients. This is what it means to be a professional.” “…I hear you.” He firmly nods before facing Miss Sasaki once more. “So what’s your type?” “Didn’t you just say you heard me?!” I take it back. He is a lecher who would jump on any woman given the chance. “M-my type…? I’m sorry; I just feel it would be rather presumptuous of me to seek out a specific type of man, but…I do find men who are passionate about their ideals and really devote themselves to something to be…very attractive.” …Come again? “Aw man. You basically just described Kunikida! Looks like I never had a chance. Tsk. Well, you two enjoy the rest of your date. I’m gonna go make sure I still have all my fingers.” “D-Dazai, get back here!” “What? Ugh, now I forgot what finger I was on!” “Quit sulking and take a seat!” You can’t leave me alone with her! I wouldn’t know what to talk about! “But I’m just an ordinary woman. Even if I was with someone who lived for his ideals, I wouldn’t be of any help. Even if I devoted myself to supporting those ideals, I would only end up getting in the way and exhausting us both… Ultimately, he would choose his ideals over me, and things would end there. So I think I will abstain from dating any idealists in the future.” There is a hint of sorrow in her smile…but why? “You’re so easy to read, Kunikida. You know that?” “I—I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular! Quit looking at me, Dazai!” “Ouch!” I twist Dazai’s head until he’s facing the opposite direction. “First, you want me to sit. Now you want me to look the other way. Can you make up your mind? Anyway, can we just get back on topic?” …What were we talking about again? “Oh, about keeping Miss Sasaki somewhere safe, yes? Well, I do have some acquaintances with the police I could contact…” “Hey, um…I really appreciate what you’re trying to do for me, but I don’t want to bother you any more than I already have… So please don’t worry about me. I’ll find a hotel to stay in tonight.” “I can’t allow that. Hotels aren’t safe, and sending you to one after the recent events would be in bad taste. Having said that, I wouldn’t trust Dazai to keep his hands to himself if you stayed at his place again. Come stay at mine.” “Huh?” “Huh?” “D-don’t get the wrong idea! I have no ulterior motives, if that’s what you’re implying!” “Actually, from the way this conversation’s been going, it sounds like an ulterior motive is all you have. You just don’t know when to quit, eh?” “It’s not like that! I’m just genuinely—” “Ah-ha-ha-ha! I’m kidding! Miss Sasaki, you’ll be safe at Kunikida’s place. He doesn’t have the courage to— Ahem… He is a man of ideals and virtue. Would you like to see his notebook? You should read the page about his ideal woman. It’s amazing.” Dazai hands Miss Sasaki a notebook. Taken aback, I pat my pockets, but it’s nowhere to be found. “Dazai! When did you steal that from me?!” “Here, it’s this page.” He opens my notebook and points. “Oh my… Are you sure this is okay?” “You’re curious, right?” “Well…in all honesty…yes, I suppose I am slightly curious.” Miss Sasaki reads the notebook with a bashful smile before slowly turning pale. “Huh? What does that…? Oh, I see. But this is…” My ideal woman: a voluminous work consisting of eight pages, fifteen topics, and fifty-eight items. “Huh?! …Oh, so that means… Hmm… Ohhh…” I remember what Dazai said: “Never show this to a woman. It’d really turn them off.” When Miss Sasaki lifts her head after reading, her expression is void of any and all joy. The only thing on her face is a chilling, lifeless smile, not unlike a statue’s. “Detective Kunikida.” “Yes…?” “People like this don’t exist.” Someone bring me a stiff drink. It’s located in the nation’s capital, Tokyo, the heart of this country where the political and economic central functions intersect. Foreigners of all races and creeds go in and out of this building—the United States Embassy, the largest foreign territory in Japan. Despite it being the afternoon, the people in the waiting room for general visitors are quietly whiling away the minutes and hours until their turn. They keep silent as if anticipating a judge’s decision, staring off into space as if looking at something only they can see. A live Major League Baseball game plays on the flat-screen TV installed on the wall, while a middle-aged Caucasian male wearing a black cap lazily criticizes his favorite team for allowing the other to score a run. I look at Dazai at my side. He’s smiling gleefully. He must be really looking forward to the mission. This is no laughing matter, though. “Everything ready to go, Kunikida?” “My stomach already hurts thinking about it. Please don’t mess this up. We could be tried under international law if we aren’t careful.” “International outlaws… Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? All right, well, here goes nothing!” “Hey…!” Stricken with panic, I try to stop him, but he’s already heading over to the information desk. Dazai is wearing a raggedy, patched-up undershirt while I’m dressed in a high-end navy business suit and tie. He stands in front of the embassy worker’s desk and obnoxiously opens his big mouth. “Hey, you! How much longer do I hafta wait?! I’ve been here for siiix whooole hooours!” Everybody in the vicinity turns around and stares. The Japanese lady working reception blinks in astonishment. “I don’t wanna wait anymore! I can’t…! I just can’t take it! Lemme talk to your boss right now!” Dazai thrashes his arms and legs about as he continues to mouth off to the receptionist. Though this may be part of the mission, it’s painful to watch another adult act this way. I would rather drink poison and die than do that. “Excuse me… What was it you needed again?” she asks, puzzled. Her handling of the situation is admirable, but she’s outclassed. “I toldja, didn’t I?! I wanna seek refuge! R-E-F-U-G-E! I’m here for refuge in your honorable nation! But you’re making me wait foreeever! Does that mean you’re refusing my request? Is that it? Missy, you’ve got a lot of nerve making political decisions like this! You’ve got no right!” “You there! What do you think you’re doing?! Causing a disturbance in the embassy is a serious offense, you know!” Naturally, the guards at the entrance start rushing toward Dazai. Looks like I’m up. “Stop right there. That man making a fuss over there is with me. Do you have the authority to arrest him?” I stand before the rushing guards. “Vienna Convention on Consular Relations, article thirty-one, paragraph two! ‘The authorities of the receiving State shall not enter that part of the consular premises that is used exclusively for the purpose of the work of the consular post except with the consent of the head of the consular post or of his designee or of the head of the diplomatic mission of the sending State.’ That man is a guest of the embassy until deemed a hindrance by the consular post. Stopping him without permission could turn this into an international issue!” My loud rebuke puzzles the guards. They obviously know the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations by heart, but it’s only natural to flinch when someone screams “international issue” at you. “Hey, Boss! I need refuuuge! BOSSSSSS!!” Dazai throws a temper tantrum on the floor in front of the information desk. While it’s a relief knowing the guards can’t stop him, there’s a part of me that wants to forget the mission and kill him. Now, there’s a reason why the Armed Detective Agency is using a five-year-old’s tactics to attack the embassy, an important, high-toned diplomatic establishment. “The bomber is from another country?” I ask. We’re back at that same street-side café. “Yeah, and a pro, at that,” Dazai replies while sipping his coffee. He first pointed this out to me after Miss Sasaki got off the phone with a colleague from her university. “My college major was criminal psychology. Perhaps I know something that could be of use,” she’d said. I hear Miss Sasaki is well-known in her community as a criminal psychology researcher. It seems she’s a talented young associate professor whose work has been recognized by several famous academic conferences, which is why she’s been independently scrutinizing similar past crimes detailed in a fellow researcher’s work. “I contacted a colleague in my field regarding similar cases, but their investigation concluded that there has not been a single bombing incident in Japan that has claimed over a hundred lives as mentioned in the e-mail… Of course, this is excluding those who died in the war.” “Have there been incidents like this abroad, then?” “Yes… There have been a few dozen terrorist attacks in other countries, revolving around ideology and political conflict. However, there is little data for these cases that would provide details such as the type of bomb used or the manufacturer… I’m sorry I couldn’t be of any help.” “No, that’s really good information. This would mean the Azure Apostle knew the composition and structure of the explosive used in those bombings when they made the one to set in Yokohama. I feel like we’re now one step closer to finding our guy, don’t you think?” “That said, we still haven’t figured out where they hid the bomb. Do you really think we’ll be able to find it in time at this rate?” At the very least, we need to find out this person’s name and what they look like. There’s no other way to locate the bomb. Dazai places a thumb on his chin as if deep in thought. “The bomber is in hiding… There’s no way we’re going to find them,” he suddenly mutters. “…Guess I have to do it myself.” “Do what?” “Kunikida, in the e-mail, they said they’d ‘made’ the bomb, right? But can you really make a bomb that could kill hundreds that easily?” “It wouldn’t be easy for the average person, but someone with extensive knowledge probably wouldn’t have much difficulty.” Even I have a certain amount of knowledge of hazardous chemicals, since I’m currently pursuing a degree in science and mathematics. Besides, I also work on dangerous jobs at the agency. Chemical production for explosives requires utmost caution, especially in regard to temperature and impact. Even the smallest mistake could cause an unwanted catastrophe. The ingredients themselves, however, are simple and could even be found in an elementary school’s science room. Hydrochloric acid, nitric acid, nitrogen fertilizer, aluminum: All of these can be legally purchased for cheap. The combination ratio, order of procedure, transportation, and technique for detonating the bomb are where things get tricky. “Some say that each pro has their own recipe, which acts as their brand when they sell their explosives, but…” “Exactly. That’s why I don’t think it’d be easy to replicate a bomb that was used in some previous terrorist attack.” “So what you’re saying is…the person who made this bomb is the same person who made the bomb in that incident that killed over a hundred people?” “Not only that, the way it was described in the e-mail was oddly visually specific, don’t you think?” I check the e-mail again. “The everlasting flames and blinding corona made it seem as if the sun itself had fallen out of the sky. The buildings fell one after another while innocent people’s skin melted as they struggled to escape. The ground liquefied, and vehicles were knocked into the buildings like spears.” “This is just speculation on my part, but doesn’t it sound a bit like he’s describing what he saw?” “What?” “Miss Sasaki, is there any news footage showing any of the past bombings abroad?” “No, I’m afraid not. Filming an explosion that large was probably the last thing on the victims’ minds as well.” “Normally, I’d agree with you, but the e-mail vividly details what just happened minutes after the explosion. Maybe they set the bomb, ran away, and came back after the explosion in time to see all this?” “In other words, the bomber who killed all those people in the past is the Azure Apostle?” If that’s the case, then that would narrow down who the criminal might be. We’re looking at a bomb expert who was abroad during that incident and is currently in Japan. But… “We still don’t have enough information to go by.” “Why?” “I suppose I will fill you in, since you decided to skip the meeting. The Public Security Intelligence Agency and military police–affiliated organizations already looked into domestic bomb-making experts, and they didn’t find any suspects. Nobody on the list of Japanese candidates possesses the refined technology needed for high-grade explosives that could kill or injure over one hundred people, nor are there any bomb manufacturer candidates they don’t already have their eye on. Having said that, it’s not like we could go around questioning every non-Japanese person we see.” “Heh-heh.” Dazai smirks. “What are you so obnoxiously giddy about?” “While even the military police come to the famous detective agency for help from time to time, there’s still one directory nobody wants us to see: information held by foreign intelligence agencies. I’m sure they have records on past bombing suspects.” “A foreign intelligence agency…?” The most famous intelligence agencies that come to mind are the CIA and NSA in the United States and MI6 in the United Kingdom. They conduct covert operations all around the world for their home countries’ safety and prosperity. However… “Foreign intelligence agencies aren’t just going to hand over confidential information to private Japanese enterprises. Do you even know anybody working for an intelligence agency in the first place?” “Nope.” “I figured.” “But I know where to meet one.” —I’ve got a bad feeling about this. And that’s how our undercover mission at the embassy began. The plan Dazai came up with is simple: One of us makes a scene at the embassy, and if we’re lucky, one of the higher-ups will come over to bring things under control. Then we can talk with that high government official to negotiate. For a secret agent abroad, their home country’s embassy is not only a base but a place of peace and comfort as well. The embassy must have some sort of connection with their country’s secret agents. While it’s a reckless, aggressive plan, Dazai’s idea sheds a glimmer of hope on a seemingly desperate mission. During our work together, I at times find his wits and critical-thinking skills nothing short of amazing. There is no telling what he’s capable of. I can’t help but feel that hidden behind his eccentric behavior lurks something chilling—a devilish wisdom of some kind. I have a difficult time believing he’s just some wanderer with no real background. Whenever I try to ask him about his past, he avoids the question. While I refuse to press him for answers, I wonder if he has a dark past. Could he have been in an illegal—? “Awww, c’mon, lady! Just grant my asylum already! Pretty pleeease? C’mon, don’t look away from me when I’m talkin’ to you! Look at me! Yeah, like that! Keep lookin’ at me like that!” —No. He’s just an idiot. “Um… Could you please write your name on the waiting list?” The receptionist timidly pulls out a sheet of paper. “I’ve already filled out one of those!” Dazai yells. He’s lying, of course. “I even made sure to complete all the parts in fine print with my favorite fountain pen, and I’m still not gettin’ any service. Why d’you think I came here to talk to you, huh?” He whips out a thick coal-black fountain pen from his breast pocket to show her. “This fountain pen is the same kind that was used by a Middle Eastern dictator. Pretty cool, huh? You can have a look if you want. Here. It’s long and heavy, so it’s extremely hard to write with. I had to use this to fill out all those little spaces over and over again. You can see why I’m mad now, right?” It’s your fault for using that pen in the first place! I keep that thought to myself, though. “Listen, lady, I’m an author, mmkay? Ever read any of my books? Here, I’ll even make you the protagonist in my next story, so please just lemme speak to one of your higher-ups. I’ll write a book about us committing lovers’ suicide. I’ll even use this pen to write it if you help me defect.” For a terrible author, he’s becoming curiously good at this acting thing. I get the sense this is how he woos women at pubs. “C’mon, throw me a bone here. I’m in a lot of trouble. Big trouble! Some scary guys from the PSIA are coming for my neck! Listen, I just write whatever I like, and all I said was that one of the Foreign Affairs ministers was wearing a toupee, and now the authorities are trying to kill me! This is a violation of free speech, and I will not allow the government to abuse their authority! And down with hairpieces!” “Shut the hell up, will ya?! I’m tryin’ to watch the game here! And what’s your problem with toupees?!” the Caucasian man in the black cap watching the baseball game shouts hoarsely, but it’s going to take more than that to bring Dazai down. “Hey, I’m not the problem here! It’s the guy who got mad at me for calling him out! If he was gonna get that upset about it, then he shoulda just shown us all his shiny bald pate and been proud of it!” “E-excuse me, sir? You’re, um, you’re with him, c-correct?” the flustered office worker asks me with pleading eyes. Apologies, but this is all for the greater good. “I’m his chief editor. While I sympathize with you, as you can see, he’s in no mood to listen. If a civil servant with authority, however, was to come and talk with him directly, I guarantee he’d give up. So do you think you could talk to one of your superiors for me?” “Okay…” Drained of energy and in a state of shock, the receptionist nods before staggering to her feet. “I’ll be right back…with someone to help you…” She probably feels that she’s done everything she could and just doesn’t want to deal with Dazai anymore. I don’t blame her. I truly pity the woman. After waiting for a short while, she returns and waves Dazai and me into another room. “This way, please.”
Chapter 8
31 min read