In a sense, though, he’d managed to give up and accept the difference between himself and Lufas and her group. They’re all walking disasters in human form, so it’s only natural to be weaker than them, he thought. You have to run from falling meteors. There’s no way to win against fighter craft loaded with nuclear missiles. Anybody would surrender when faced with an entire army. None of that is an embarrassment. If a huge monster jumped out of the screen in a movie and started to attack, would anyone actually pick up a sword and fight if they were told to?
However, there had been one time when that wasn’t the case. Sei had fought an enemy he could have defeated but still lost. More than that, he had been taken as a hostage and ended up being a burden to Virgo. In the end, Lufas had intervened, and it had all ended well, but Sei had never cursed his own powerlessness more than at that moment. Before he’d noticed, Sei found himself alone, balled up, surrounded by darkness. A sense of powerlessness shaped like Sei himself started to talk to him.
“I’m so weak. I can’t do anything, let alone protect something. What kind of hero even am I? Seriously, it’s laughable.”
Yeah, you’re right. I’m a pathetic, useless hero. A laughingstock.
As if to pile onto this, another sense of powerlessness, this time shaped like Debris, lay his arm across Sei’s shoulders.
“Aren’t you jealous of those strong people? Aren’t you envious? I also can’t help but think, If only I had power.”
“Shut up!” Sei muttered aloud as he weakly waved his hand, trying to swat it away.
However, that didn’t make the sense of powerlessness go away. Sei’s feelings of inferiority wouldn’t disappear. In fact, those miserable feelings now became Mars, someone Sei didn’t recognize, and he promptly started to bounce around in front of Sei mockingly.
“Hey, hey, how do you feel now? How does being a hero who can’t do anything feel?”
Wait, who the hell are you? Sei stood up to punch the unfamiliar person in the face before promptly curling back up again.
Light suddenly fell in front of Sei. When he looked up, he found a holy-looking maiden smiling down upon him, who kindly held out her hand as she spoke.
“It will be fine, Sei the Hero. You are not weak. Your power is simply sleeping inside you. Now, take my hand. There is no longer any need for those feelings of powerlessness, inferiority, and pitifulness. You will fly to the battlefield and save everyone.”
In that instant, scenes of him after becoming powerful played in Sei’s head like a movie. Using the power that suddenly welled up from within, Sei became unstoppable as he leapt into action, and even if he was experiencing trouble, he would simply awaken a hitherto-sleeping power to make a comeback. Then, he would pile great achievement upon great achievement, gain the affection of many cute girls for no reason, and fall into a tug-of-war between them before being able to react.
It was a story with many common developments. Very common developments. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that. If I were at least useful, that would be infinitely better than my current state. I’ve always wondered why I was called to a world like this... I won’t say that I haven’t imagined a world where I was strong and could make great contributions... Even so...
After a moment, Sei said, “I see. So you’re the Goddess Alovenus.”
This weakness is also a part of me, Minamijuuji Sei. No matter how many bitter experiences that fact gives me, I’ll just have to swallow them all. Even if we try to avert our eyes, reality does not just go away. And humans cannot run from reality.
“I’m sure I would become strong if I were to take your hand. But, I would lose something precious in exchange. Am I right?”
The Goddess remained silent for a moment. “You do not wish for power?”
“I do. Agh, dammit... I really, really do. I’d pay an arm and a leg for it.”
Sei was not like Benetnasch. The Vampire Princess was strong, strong enough to not need the Goddess’s help, strong enough to take pride in it. Though they both craved power, their cravings were of opposite natures. Benetnasch had never felt any inferiority until she met Lufas. She’d never felt powerless once in her life. I am strong, and Maphaahl is stronger, since she can defeat me. So I will use my strength and multiply it, was how Benetnasch thought. It was simple, and because of that, it was strong. There was no brittleness to it of the sort that weak beings like Sei would have. She’d thrown all that away while she had been in her mother’s womb.
However, Sei was different. He was not strong, and he was also terribly delicate. If Benetnasch’s heart was like a several-meters-thick superalloy plate, then Sei’s heart was like aluminum foil. It could fold and bend any number of times, and the creases would remain no matter what. It was different from Benetnasch’s heart, which would never bend in the first place. However, Sei was still able to softly refuse the Goddess’s hand with his heavily creased heart.
“I...don’t need it. I’m weak, and honestly just pitiful, but there is something I can do because of that. I... I will not point my gun at the wrong person. I refuse to.”