Leaving the women’s dorm behind, I took a stroll through the castle garden with Zavilia.
“I know you often fly around openly on your own, but I’m always hiding you under my uniform when we’re out together. This’ll be the first time I’ve ever brazenly walked around with you on my shoulder! Whew, my heart’s really racing. I doubt anybody will figure you out, but on the one-in-a-million chance somebody does, what should we do? Should we have you fly off? Or maybe just play dumb?”
I was still debating my options when Desmond approached. This seemed like perfect timing for our little experiment, but he froze the moment he spotted me, a terrible grimace overtaking his face.
Maybe he’d pulled an all-nighter at work and was tired? I considered leaving him to his own devices, but then he waved and strode up to me. “Hey, what’s up, Fia? I heard you apprenticed yourself to some powerful people who like disguising themselves as jesters. Really took me by surprise! A normal guy like me can never predict what you’ll do next!”
…I take it back. There was no way he was tired if he had the energy to hit me with so much sarcasm right out of the gate. If he did actually pull an all-nighter and was still like this, then I didn’t want to know what he’d be like fully rested.
He seemed to sense my annoyance and clamped his mouth shut. His eyes went wide, focusing on a single point—my right shoulder. He stared unblinkingly, his face draining of blood and sweat dripping down his brow. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but since he was fixed on Zavilia anyway, I figured now was as good a time as any for introductions.
“I see you’ve noticed my cute little friend here, Captain Desmond! I followed your advice and am trying to be with him as much as I can. Oh, but he’s no ordinary friend. You see, he’s actually—”
Desmond cut in before I could finish. “Fia! I haven’t slept in two whole days!”
I blinked. “Uh, whazzat?”
So he did pull an all-nighter like I thought—or rather, a double all-nighter. I felt bad, but all-nighters were rather common for him, so he was probably used to the strange sleep schedule.
Maybe he was actually having a rather rough time if he was interrupting me, though? My heart ached for him as I thought about all that lost sleep.
He rushed on, frantic. “Sleep deprivation causes all kinds of symptoms! Headaches, dizziness, nausea, trembles, and once you reach my level, both visual and auditory hallucinations!”
“Wow, you’re really familiar with sleep deprivation, huh?” I said. I didn’t quite know what these “levels” were, but he often worked overtime, so he was probably at some super high level of sleep deprivation.
“You bet I am! To your eyes I may project the very image of an energetic, talented, capable captain, but the truth is I’m practically asleep!”
“Uh, whazzat?” I cocked my head.
He elaborated. “To avoid the symptoms of sleep deprivation, I’ve mastered a technique that lets me look like I’m awake while I’m actually asleep! So despite how it might seem, I’m actually asleep right now! And would you believe it, while I’m asleep I have a habit of sometimes saying the exact opposite of what I think!”
“What, really? That sounds like a problem.”
“It is! That’s why I sound like a sarcastic jerk when I’m asleep, even when the real me is a gentleman with a heart of gold who’d never badmouth anybody!”
“Uhhh…”
What was he on about? I’d never once seen Desmond act like the “gentleman” he was claiming to be. He did say earlier that sleep deprivation could cause hallucinations; perhaps he’d hallucinated this “gentlemanly” Desmond.
He was more of the careless sort and didn’t have very sharp intuition, so I doubted he realized the small, friend-sized creature on my shoulder was the one and only Black Dragon. I had planned on introducing Zavilia to him, but talking to Desmond while he was acting all weird didn’t seem worth the effort. I needed to excuse myself as soon as possible.
With that in mind, I tried to say goodbye, but he launched into a booming declaration before I got a chance. “That’s all to say that what I actually meant earlier was: ‘Wow, Fia! You’re so perceptive to realize those foolish jesters were actually a group of really powerful people! And they even accepted you as a member! A plebeian like me can’t understand your greatness! I’m so moved!’”
“That’s nothing like what you said earlier!” I exclaimed. He had a real problem if his inner voice and what he said aloud were that different.
He barreled on. “What’s more, I’ve been in a half-asleep, half-awake state for so long that my third eye has finally opened! And through my third eye, I can tell there’s a calamity-class monster riding on your shoulder!”
“Whazzat?!”
He was definitely right about Zavilia being a calamity-class monster, but how did he know? Was this the power of this “third eye?”
“N-no way, don’t tell me the usually dull and unperceptive Captain Desmond actually reaches his full potential when he’s asleep?!” I’d been drunk then so I didn’t remember it, but apparently, after I returned from Sutherland I’d let the captains have their pick of some holy stones I brought back for them as gifts. Desmond picked a normal holy stone while everyone else hit the jackpot, so I figured he was just the unperceptive sort. What a surprise to think he turned super sharp while asleep.
“Wait, what? Fia, I’m not dull or unperceptive! No, that’s not the issue. The issue is that I can recognize the creature on your shoulder as a calamity-class monster! T-toward whom I of course hold nothing but respect!” He slapped his hands together like he was praying.
“Oh, okay. So if you went and got some proper sleep and were wide awake, you’d still be able to recognize my friend here as a calamity-class monster?” I asked.
If that were the case, I wouldn’t be able to walk around with Zavilia where I could risk encountering Desmond. Too bad.
He stood up stiffly, floundering for words. “Huh?! Um, well… R-right, like I said earlier, I can only recognize him because my third eye is open from being half-asleep for so long. When I’m fully awake, I’ll only recognize your familiar as a blackish, extremely handsome creature, so I pose absolutely no threat! And everything I’m saying right now is just sleep talk, so I’ll forget it as soon as I wake up!”
“You mean you’ll forget our conversation? What a waste!”
He grimaced and said, “That’s rich coming from someone who forgets everything when they’re drunk! Ack, no. I mean… That was my bad habit again, I didn’t mean that. What I meant is you’re always right on the mark, Miss Fia! Ah ha ha ha!” He frantically amended his words, then regarded Zavilia seriously. “To summarize, I greatly respect this nation’s guardian beast, the Black Dragon, from the bottom of my heart! Náv only knows peace because the Black Dragon keeps watch over us from his mountain far to the north…or perhaps even from this castle here in the royal capital!”
Oh, wow. I guess I really was wrong about him being unperceptive. He praised the Black Dragon right in front of Zavilia! But it could just be a coincidence… Surely if he knew Zavilia was the Black Dragon, he would just come out and say it. He had no reason to hide his knowledge; in fact, I’m sure he’d love to boast about his discovery. What a coincidence that he just so happened to start talking about how much he liked the Black Dragon in front of Zavilia.
The whole thing left me wide-eyed.
Desmond took a few steps back and bowed to Zavilia. “I have nothing but gratitude toward the Black Dragon for remaining Náv’s guardian beast! In fact, I’m sure my third eye opened precisely so I could show my appreciation like this!”
He didn’t even know Zavilia’s identity but thanked the Black Dragon anyway. I guess he was just that grateful.
In high spirits, I smiled at Zavilia. “You hear that, Zavilia? It sounds like Captain Desmond’s a big fan of the Black Dragon. Don’t you think you can remove him from the top of your hit list now?”
Desmond shrieked shrilly and fell to his backside.
“Captain Desmond?!” I whipped toward him.
He stared up at me pale and flustered. “Wh-wh-what exactly is this ‘hit list’ thing?” he asked, trembling. “W-wait, no! Don’t answer that! I’m not losing my life over a little curiosity! Fia, I have an elderly mother and father! You wouldn’t make me depart this world before them, would you?!”
His sleep deprivation started to manifest as dizziness and quivering. Maybe he needed medical attention, but he put up his hands and exclaimed, “I beg you, if you feel any pity whatsoever for me, leave me be! I’m the type of person who finds lying on the bare ground comfortable, so I’ll recover if I stay here like this!”
“O…kay…” If he said so. I certainly wasn’t going to argue otherwise.
I guess the world’s full of all kinds of people, I thought as I parted with Desmond.