“Let me give you one more warning. You need to give up on finding the Moontear Flower. You may be more powerful than I was, but I’m speaking from experience. You’d be putting your life at risk for a slim chance of success. I can’t allow you to go, knowing you could die in vain.”
Master Hildegard’s argument was completely reasonable. I could be putting my life on the line for nothing. It was undoubtedly reckless to take on this challenge.
“Master,” I said, “I have to apologize. In spite of the risks, I must press on. If there’s any chance that I create the cure that requires the Moontear Flower, I want to take that risk.”
“After hearing everything I’ve just said, you’re still undeterred? You’re a stubborn one.” Hildegard stared me square in the face. Her gaze was so piercing that for a moment I forgot to breathe. “Just answer this one question. Why are you so hung up on finding a cure?”
I couldn’t allow myself to falter. “I want to complete the cure that my father always dreamed of making.”
“Are you saying that, as his daughter, you want to accomplish what Kamil was unable to achieve?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
There was silence. Without saying a word, Master Hildegard hung her head.
She’d shared her most painful experiences—a failure from her past and the loss of her beloved husband—in an attempt to stop me. I was such a thankless daughter.
“I was sure someone as intelligent as you would have more sense,” she said at last. “You’ve changed, Philia.”
She sank into silent contemplation for a while before looking up again. I wasn’t sure whether she was appalled or disappointed, but I had no intention of backing down.
“Maybe I have. Logically, I know what you’re saying is correct. However—”
“You want to take on the challenge, no matter how dangerous it might be?”
“Yes. That’s what I’m planning to do.”
My declaration was firm and unambiguous.
Master Hildegard’s gaze sharpened. She began to gather her magic power. “You really are stubborn, aren’t you? You’re just like Kamil in that respect.”
“What?” I was like my father? This unexpected comment elicited a cry of astonishment from me.
Hildegard looked pleased by my reaction. I’d never seen her look so tranquil before.
In that moment, it felt like we’d grown closer. Did I sense a motherly presence in her affectionate gaze? I could sense her magic, too.
“You can feel my magic on your skin, can’t you, Philia?”
“What? Oh, yes. It feels like it’s covering my body.”
As I reflected on my relationship with her, she threw a sudden question my way.
It caught me off guard, so I stumbled over my words, but she didn’t seem to mind. She simply carried on.
“Good. That’s the sensation you’ll feel in that dangerous region when an explosion is about to happen. I sensed it on my skin and used my own magic to defend myself, but I was a moment too late. That’s how I got hurt.”
“You can use magic to protect yourself from the explosions?”
“The explosions in that zone are similar to those caused by destructive spells, though their exact cause is unclear. However, I learned firsthand that condensed magic can form a shield against them. I survived dozens of explosions that way.”
It sounded like the environment was even harsher than I thought. I was starting to understand why my master was trying to stop me.
“And one more thing. There’s no limit to the size of the explosions. Massive explosions like the one that erupted about twenty years ago are rare, but if one were to happen in your vicinity, you’d never be able to defend yourself from it. The risk of death is never far.”
“How awful…”
“As I said before, it’s highly likely that you’re risking your life for nothing. Are you sure you still want to go through with this?”
Master was grilling me intensely, testing my resolve. As she said, this was an incredibly dangerous task, and there was no assurance that the Moontear Flower would conveniently present itself to me.
“Yes,” I said. “Please respect my decision.”
Sir Osvalt, who’d been watching in silence, suddenly leapt forward. “No, you can’t! Philia, this is far too dangerous. You need to reconsider.” His grim expression stood in stark contrast to his usual gentle demeanor.
“Sir Osvalt,” I said, “forgive me for being so selfish, but I need to complete this cure.”
“I want to support you, Philia, and until a moment ago, I was more than happy to do so. But after hearing Lady Hilda’s story, I’ve changed my mind. This isn’t just irresponsible, it’s thoughtless. There’s a difference between risking your life and throwing it away, isn’t there?”
Sir Osvalt spoke in his most persuasive tone. He must have realized how determined I was. Thinking it over rationally, I knew he was right.
“I’m sorry, Sir Osvalt, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to follow in my father’s footsteps. If I give up now, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
I sprang to my feet in a show of fortitude. Then, I bowed my head to Sir Osvalt.
“Let me say it one more time. Please, allow me to do what I want.”
“I’m sorry. Can’t you compromise just this once? I can’t bear the thought of losing the love of my life.”
The word “love” made me feel warm inside. Of course, I felt the same way about him. But there were some compromises I couldn’t make.
I shook my head.
“But why, Philia? I’m not the only one who’d be shattered by your loss. Lady Mia, Lady Hilda, and everybody around you would be devastated, too.”
Sir Osvalt made a desperate plea, his expression even more sorrowful than before. He was probably right. I’d forgotten that other people would be saddened by my death.
As I began to question myself, Sir Osvalt stepped forward his hands clenched together. “Philia, this is completely different from battling Asmodeus to save your sister or using a divine spell to summon the Pope’s spirit. It’s risking your life for nothing. I’m begging you to reconsider. If the worst were to happen, what would I do? I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”
Sir Osvalt seemed to struggle to force the words out. Seeing him like that, I finally realized my mistake.
He was right. There were people who cared deeply for me. I was no longer merely my own responsibility. When I remembered this fact, I felt embarrassed.
Why was I being so self-righteous? As nice as it was to help other people, it was equally important to take care of myself.
“I’m sorry, Sir Osvalt. I think I lost sight of the bigger picture for a moment. I should start paying more attention to those around me and act accordingly.”
“Philia…”
“But you will have to excuse me. As illogical as it might be, I still want to fulfill my father’s dream. I’m begging you to let me go.”
No matter the situation… I wasn’t going to back down.
I continued to bow my head deeply. Lord Osvalt gently placed a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up, his face was right in front of mine. His face remained clouded.
“I’ve been selfish, too. When we first met, I vowed to make your life as easy as possible, and here I am, unable to support your wishes.”
“That’s not true. I—”
“No, Philia. You’re not in the wrong. I encouraged you to think about yourself and follow your heart. Who am I to hold you back?”
“Sir Osvalt…” Before I knew it, tears were welling up in my eyes.
Sir Osvalt gently caressed my head.
I was so happy to be his fiancée. I wanted to live with him forever.
But for that same reason, I didn’t want to have any regrets. I didn’t want to give up on fulfilling my father’s dreams. Before we walked toward a bright future together, I had to remedy the past.
“Still, the Volcanic Miasma Zone is off-limits. Not even saints are allowed to enter. A military non-aggression treaty was signed, so you can’t go there without the approval of both Girtonia and Parnacorta, can you?”
“Well, no…”
“You know what my brother’s like. He’d never allow it. I was hesitant to say this because I don’t like playing politics, but you’d be violating a bilateral treaty just to have your own way.”
Sir Osvalt tried to counter my argument with logic, relentlessly pressing his point. It wasn’t like him to assert his opinion in this way.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just–”
“In that case,” I said, “will you help me win Prince Reichardt over?”
“Huh?”
“I don’t mind who else opposes the idea as long as I have your backing, Sir Osvalt. Please believe in me. I’ll make sure I come back alive. I won’t let my life go to waste.”
I knew it was reckless, but I had no intention of dying in vain. I couldn’t really be sure I’d survive, but I hoped Sir Osvalt would believe me anyway.
I stared fiercely into Sir Osvalt’s eyes. He covered his face with his hands and, to my surprise, burst out laughing.
“Ha ha, ha ha ha!”
“Sir Osvalt?”
I was trying to have a serious conversation. What was so funny?
“You’re asking me to help you win over my brother when I’m the one trying to stop you! And you looked so serious about it! It’s just completely out of character for someone as calm and collected as you.”
“W-well,” I stammered, “I was sure you’d come around eventually. It’d save time to ask you for help right now.”
I hadn’t expected Sir Osvalt to oppose my plans, but somehow, I remained confident that he’d stand by me in the end.
“I’m no match for you, Philia. I didn’t think you’d take advantage of my love—but if you aren’t going to back down, all I can do is admit defeat and put my faith in you. I love you, after all.”
“Sir Osvalt, I would never—”
“I know. I understand you weren’t trying to force me. But you know I’ll stand by you no matter what. Sorry I can’t help you this time, Lady Hilda.”