Chapter 174

Hina had said until spring, but I didn’t know exactly when that meant. I’d decided to wait, so I figured there was no need to ask. I got the feeling this was how Hina had felt this whole time. She’d kept our old promise in her heart and patiently waited for me to choose her. When I thought about that, a few months didn’t feel like that big a deal. But it would be hard to keep in touch if we ended up in different classes. Spring break ended, and I put on my uniform for the first time in a while. Mana’s first day of school wasn’t until the following day, so there was no need for her to put on her uniform yet. But now that she had it, she’d been in front of her mirror all morning, trying out different styles and making little adjustments. She already had the fashionably unkempt look down pat. You’d never guess she was a brand-new student. “Bubby, what will you do if all the boys fall head over heels for me?” “Cheer you on.” “No! You have to protect your cute little sister!” “Okay, okay. Thanks for breakfast, by the way. It was good.” “Hee-hee. Bye!” She was so excited about going to her new school that I thought she might kiss me at any moment. I said good-bye and headed out. I’d seen Hina on the train a few times on the way to school. We always got on the same car. I never knew what to do when our eyes met, so I always went to one corner and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. It was around this time last year that I’d saved that girl whose face I couldn’t see. Today, we were as far apart as possible, and Hina was leaning against a pole near the seats, looking out the window. I wondered why she never had friends to chat with. Maybe they all came from different directions. Himeji frequently arrived late, and when she didn’t, she was always in a rush and would wind up jumping into a different car. I was trying my best not to stare at Hina like a stalker when I heard a man’s voice. “Um… Excuse me!” He was pretty loud, and everyone turned to look. I did the same on reflex and saw him standing next to Hina. He was chubby and wearing the kind of faded-out hoodie you might find for sale in a supermarket. He was holding his cell phone in one hand, talking to Hina. “Hinami, right? I’m a big fan. I always cheer up when I see your cute commercial.” “Erm, sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong person…” Hina smiled and bowed awkwardly, then went back to looking out the window. “Th-that can’t be! Don’t lie! I-it said on this website that someone saw you on this train, a-and it’s even got your picture!” He shoved the phone in Hina’s face. She tried her best to smile and bowed again. “I’m sorry, I really think you’re mistaken.” I could hear a waver in her voice. Her hands were trembling. My vision went red. The train was full, but before I knew it, I was making my way through the car. It was even easier than it had been a year ago. “You’re lying! Don’t lie! I bet you’re just waiting for men like me to come up to you! Otherwise, you’d wear a disguise or something!” The man’s voice got louder, and Hina shrank. I shoved myself in between them. “She said you’re mistaken.” He took half a step back in surprise. “What? Wh-who are you?” “Who cares? I’m saying you should stop bothering her.” The people around us furrowed their brows and murmured to each other. There were other students from our school, but everyone kept quiet. “Let’s get off at the next station,” I said, trying to grab the man’s hand. “Wh-what? Don’t touch me, you freak.” He turned around and clicked his tongue, then fled to a neighboring car. I could feel Hina’s gaze. I wasn’t sure if she’d be mad at me for overstepping while we were still on a breather. I couldn’t meet her eyes. “…Sorry,” I said without thinking. I stepped away to follow the man, but Hina grabbed my sleeve. “Wait.” I stopped, but before she could say anything else, two ladies came up to her, looking worried. “Are you okay?” one asked. “There are some scary guys out there.” “Oh, I’m okay. Sorry about the fuss.” Hina let go of my sleeve as she replied to them. The train came to a stop soon after the man left. It wasn’t the station nearest to the school, but Hina got off anyway. I thought she might be going to report him. She glanced back at me. I felt like I should get off, too, so I did. Very few people used this station. It was a simple building with only two gates, both located right by the platform. I saw two stray cats outside. “He’s not getting off,” I whispered, after confirming he wasn’t on the platform. “Thanks,” Hina said. “You saved me again.” We hadn’t talked since deciding to take a breather; there hadn’t been any reason to. Once again, a strange situation had given us an excuse to interact. “…Be careful,” I said. “This isn’t like what happened last year.” “Yes, sir!” “And I think you should consider what he said. Maybe you should use a disguise.” “Yeah.” I didn’t want to lecture her. “…Let’s get on the next train. We’ll be late.” I checked the time on my phone. I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to her. “Ryou, what did you think of my web ad?” “What do you mean?” “How was I?” “Well, I think you were great.” “That’s it?” Hina pouted. It had been so long since our last exchange that I wasn’t sure what answers she was looking for. “Um… I think you looked cute.” Her eyes lit up. “Really? You see, they told me to pretend that the person I liked was on the other side of the camera while I danced.” “Umm…” I knew what the right answer was now, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I should say it. Hina pointed at me, then I pointed at myself, too. “I thought of you,” she whispered, looking away bashfully. “That’s why I looked so cute, I think.” An express train ran past the station, and a rush of air blasted us, bringing with it cherry blossom petals. They fluttered down to rest at our feet. “I guess we’re still on a breather, but…” I felt I should be honest. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. I had doubts, and a lot of the time I felt like, even though we were dating, I was just another face in the crowd—that I wasn’t anyone special.” Hina shook her head, as if to contradict me. Then she turned away. “Sorry. I wish I’d been better.” Her voice was shaking. She raised her hands to her face; she must have been crying. “I had a lot of time to straighten out my thoughts, and I understand now.” I heard her sniffling. I probably never said it. I showed it by going to her after the school festival, but I never put it into words. I did a lot of things I wouldn’t have done if I didn’t have those feelings. So I’d assumed that she would understand. Once, she’d asked if I had anything to say to her. Back then, I’d had no idea what she meant, but now I got the feeling she’d just wanted me to say it out loud. “Hina.” She didn’t turn around. I walked over to that small, lonely girl and held her from behind. “I love you.” She wiped her eyes and slowly nodded again and again. “I’ll wait for you,” I said. “It doesn’t matter how long. Spring, or however long it takes for things to settle down. Whenever. I’ll be waiting for you.” Even if she eventually changed her mind, I was ready to accept that, too. “Thank you, Ryou. You never said it. I was worried that you regretted choosing me… Work got so busy, and I was scared. The more scared I got, the harder it was to talk to you.” “I’m sorry I made you wait all this time.” She budged, so I let go. Then she turned around and looked straight into my eyes. She pressed her lips together, and a single tear, like a shooting star, ran down from her red, puffy eyes. “I love you, too, Ryou.” “I’ve loved you since we were kids.” She narrowed her eyes. “Lies. You liked Ai for a while.” “…” Oh yeah. We were having such a perfect moment. Stuff like that was just a figure of speech. I guess she’s still upset about me switching to Himeji. “But, uh, that’s because Ms. Ashihara said those mean things to me,” I said. A smile formed on her teary face. “Sorry. I was being mean.” The station’s speakers announced the arrival of the next train. “I won’t become like my mom,” she said. “I can’t. Even though I said we should take a breather, I wanted to see you so badly—to talk to you, kiss you, cuddle with you.” She smiled wryly. “I know what’s most important to me now. I can’t just focus on acting and stop caring about anything else. Our breather ends as of this moment.” The bell rang at a nearby crossing, and the gates came down. I could hear the train approaching. “I’m empty inside, and I can’t recharge without being with my special person.” I felt something hollow inside me fill up. Her face, so close by, the sound her gentle voice, her big eyes, her hair reflecting the spring sunlight, her hand in mine. The train was growing larger and larger in the distance. Hina put her hands on my shoulders and stood on her tiptoes. Bringing her face close, she brushed her lips against mine. Then she reluctantly pulled away, only to lean in at the last minute for one more kiss. The train arrived at the platform, and the doors slid open. A few students from our school were inside. “I think everyone saw us,” she said. “They definitely did.” “Hee-hee. Oh, well.” She beamed and pulled me by the hand. “Let’s go, Ryou.” I felt everyone’s eyes on us as we boarded. This seemed to make Hina even happier, and she smiled the whole time. We arrived at school and checked our class assignments, then changed into our indoor shoes and headed inside. I checked the seat chart in the classroom and sat down. Hina sat next me, just like she had before. “This makes one more year together…,” she said. “But let’s not let it end there.” “I feel exactly the same.” The girl I saved on the train turned out to be my childhood friend—and now, she was my girlfriend. We’d resumed our relationship. One step back, two steps forward. It was then that I realized something: As long as Hina was by my side, nothing else mattered.