Even to this day, our family took pride in its lineage and was endlessly envious of our house’s great prosperity during the good old days of my great-grandfather’s time. We had completely abandoned a time-appropriate lifestyle and ventures, instead obsessing over old-fashioned values. Other nobles perceived us as antiquated fossils with no appeal. It was as if time itself had stopped for our family, and we lived our present stuck with the same values as my great-grandfather’s generation, stubbornly thinking that things would turn out all right as long as everything stayed the same as in those prosperous times.
Needless to say, our house’s policies were firmly ingrained in me as part of my education as a daughter of this family. I’d been forced to dress like a venerable lady of the good old days ever since I was little, and I’d been thoroughly educated in the same way as children of that time. Were I to show even the slightest interest in anything modern, I would be strongly rebuked.
Under these conditions, I naturally couldn’t keep up with the conversations of other girls my age. They were uninterested in the old-fashioned topics I was familiar with, which left me isolated and made me a laughingstock whenever we met. And it wasn’t only the girls—boys my age also made fun of me. In fact, they were even crueler. They would look straight at me with mocking smiles, “confess their feelings” to me as the punishment for losing a game or bet, and eventually give me disgraceful nicknames like “Lady Bumpkin.”
Incidentally, “bumpkin” was a derogatory term for countryside people, meant to indicate they were unfashionable and unrefined. While our territory was indeed in the countryside, that was clearly not the only reason behind the nickname.
I wanted to escape this environment.
“Either way, I implore you to bring us no further shame. I would be troubled if my reputation were damaged because of you.” My brother finished speaking his mind before turning around and promptly leaving my room.
With the storm finally over, I collapsed onto the sofa. I soon felt myself drifting off into a light nap, unable to fight against my accumulated exhaustion.
I have to get changed first, but...I don’t have the strength.
My consciousness floated toward a pure-white world, almost as if I had just fainted.
A distorted world filled my vision. I could see a little girl—a younger me—complaining about something.
“Why don’t you understand, mother? No other kids live the same way as the House of Evantail. Why do I only get to wear my grandmother’s used clothes?”
My mother—looking much younger than she was now—replied with a frown on her bright-red lips.
“Dear me, Agnes. You must not speak such accursed things! Your dresses and shoes are leagues better than those cheap modern outfits! You should consider yourself fortunate to have a figure so similar to your grandmother.”
“But the other kids make fun of my dresses. They call them ancient and shabby. We aren’t poor, are we?”
“Such insolence! You shouldn’t take what those children say seriously. Those who can’t appreciate the value of vintage articles are vulgar and crude people not worth associating with.”
When my mother was finished, she quickly faded from view and was replaced by my father when he was younger.
“Father, why am I the only one who doesn’t eat sweets? All other kids have snack times at their houses.”
“Quiet! Don’t bother me with such drivel! Your meals aren’t lacking in any way. You have no need for sweets. Stop concerning yourself with those ignoramuses and just stand boldly! Fretting over every little thing is unseemly!”
My father’s figure with his fist raised overhead vanished from my mind. The next one to appear was my strict old private tutor.
“Come now, Lady Agnes, can you not even do something so simple as this?”
“But is there a need to learn this nowadays? The book says it’s an archaic custom that was only mainstream a century ago. And there’s also—”
“Cease your impertinent attitude and listen to your elders! I will be the one scolded if you can’t do it!”
I cried as my arm was repeatedly whipped as punishment. The tutor’s visage also disappeared before long, taking me to yet a different scene. I was now at some kind of party. I looked older than before, so this must have been around the time of my first social outing.
“Look at her! What is she wearing? She looks like a circus clown! Her dress has yellowed, and her makeup is totally out of date, isn’t it? Someone should go try talking to that bumpkin.”
“No way! What if she thinks I’m interested in her? She looks more like a monster than a clown. I’m too scared to approach that thing!”
My peers were laughing at me. I had come with the faint hope that I would be able to make some friends, but I ended up crying and going home. It was a very bitter memory.
After that, I talked to my parents again and again about improving my appearance and conduct, but we never saw eye to eye. My complaints went in one ear and out the other; not once did they have an earnest discussion with me. Reliving those memories soured my mood, until my past self gradually disappeared. Strangely enough, I could tell that I was waking up from my dream.
When I opened my eyelids, I could see my room’s ceiling. I felt even more tired than I had before my nap, thanks to the unsettling contents of my dream. My irrational daily life had continued since childhood, with me harboring constant doubts about the differences between me and other nobles. Eventually, I’d come to realize that the House of Evantail was simply bizarre.