Chapter 3

“Ugh. Is that the only variation in your ‘apology’ routine, or what? I’m not falling for that crap twice!” “N-no! No! I mean it, so just give me a second! I’m really sorry, okay? Three days, four days, no matter how long it takes! I can serve as your eyes and ears!” Her zoomed-in face loomed on-screen as she made her enigmatic plea. “Huh?” “So, until your stuff comes in the mail, you can feel free to use me as your keyboard and stuff! I won’t mess around or anything! I’ll do exactly what you tell me to do. I mean it!” She went even more extreme with the close-up, her eyes welling up a little. Damn…! I didn’t know she had that variation, too! That was all it took to get an eighteen-year-old virgin’s heart racing. I was helpless. Hang on, though. I’m not about to fold that easily. Or maybe I was. I was having trouble thinking straight. She did search the shopping sites for me, and she really seems to be…sorry? Is that the right word? As I contemplated this, I spotted some text on the screen behind her. Hang on…? On the bottom left of the screen, behind her massive zoomed-in face, if you squinted, you could see the question on the multiple-choice quiz app from earlier being rewritten. [Question 1: Answer this, master, and you can input one character of your search term! But be careful, because if you get it wrong, I’ll start posting “cherished images” from your secret repository one by one to—] “…No.” She tilted her head quizzically, her eyes still welling up with tears, as cute as she could muster. But the days of her eliciting emotions, of any kind, from me were over. “Behind you.” “Mm…? Gah!” Turning around in a whirl, she closed the app, then peered back with her welled-up eyes, as if nothing were amiss. She was a bit shaken, having trouble perpetuating the act, but her tears were welling up to a higher point than ever, as if to make up the difference. “Ergh.” “Um…?” “…Quit it.” “Quit what?” Two years. Looking back on everything that’s transpired did make me emotional in some ways, but I knew that I had only one option left to survive. I stood up and opened the closet door. I never even so much as took a walk around the block, so normally I rotated between only a few articles of clothing. The idea of a full-on clothes dresser seemed silly to me. But today, and today alone, I’m going to open this up. “M-master?!” The voice behind me was filled with shocked surprise at this unbelievable turn of events. I opened the first drawer, revealing a well-folded hoodie and Windbreaker. Memories, long tucked away, from the era when I still wore this stuff regularly, flowed in a heavy stream. “Oof…” Recalling a variety of incidents from my past, I could feel the aches from old wounds come pounding back to the forefront. I shook the cobwebs from my head, took the tracksuit jacket folded up top on the far right, and closed the drawer. The second drawer contained a lovingly arranged selection of cargo pants and shorts. I selected a set of khaki pants and briskly pushed the knob back in. “Master! Master, what’s happening to you?!” Removing the sweatpants I had on, I started putting on my outfit. As I did, my mind began to feel distressed, as if faced with some sudden, insurmountable crisis. “I’ve never seen you wear anything like that before! What are you doing…?” “…Shopping.” “…Huh?” “I’m going out shopping! Something wrong with that?!” “Sh-shopping…?” This was apparently not the reply she expected. Well, what the hell did she think I’d be doing? “Yeah. Shopping. I’m not gonna rely on you, so I’m gonna go buy it all myself.” “Shopping…! Boy, what a relief that is! I thought you were going to commit suicide or something for a moment!” “I’m not committing suicide! What kind of freak kills himself because he spilled a drink on his keyboard?” “You, master.” “…Yeah, but…” It wasn’t outside the realm of impossibility. I hated to admit it, but I could understand the impulse. Amid this mindless chatter, I continued to dress myself. “…I guess this’ll do.” With the Windbreaker zipped up to the very top, my wardrobe was complete. These clothes all felt a little stiff. I hadn’t worn them in a while. I felt oddly nervous, as if wearing them for the first time. “Heyyy! That actually looks pretty good on you! Like, normally you’re a hopeless case, but…” “Oh? You think so? I hope this is okay.” “Totally okay! A real man’s man!” “Yeah? You’re gonna make me blush.” It was embarrassing, but I felt more than a little satisfied with myself as I turned toward the display. There, I saw a window filled with images of perfect-looking male models in an array of top-shelf fashions. Behind this display, I could hear her voice. “You look so, so cool! I always knew you had some fashion sense in you!” “Come on…You’re gonna make me lose my nerve.” “Hmm? What do you mean?” “Forget it. I know I look okay, all right?” I was quickly losing any nerve I might have had to go outside. But there was no turning back now. I took down the bag hanging in the closet and slung it around my head. I was set, more or less. Now for the accessories. “Uh, I need my wallet, and…and that’s kind of it, huh?” I plucked the wallet, which normally saw use only when shopping online, from near the pillows on my bed. “That should do it. Whew…Well, I’m off.” I took a deep breath, then approached the bedroom door. “H-hang on a minute, master!!” Just when my hand was on the knob, her voice made me turn back toward the computer. “What? Haven’t you done enough for one day? Seriously.” “I know, I just…um, this is your first time out in a while, right? I just figured…you know, maybe two would be better than one, so…” “Two? You think I got someone I can invite over?” Thanks to my unflagging dedication to my craft over the past two years, I didn’t have a single friend I could make contact with. Even if I did, I wasn’t about to invite anyone along. “I didn’t mean that, master. I mean…Well, if I were with you, I could help navigate and stuff, so…” She was plainly waiting for me to get the picture. I wasn’t dense enough to miss the “take me along” message, but did she want me to lug the computer with me? “How’re you gonna come along? If you want to join me, you’re gonna have to jump out of there first.” “Wha? You mean it?! Okay, I’m coming out! One, two…!” Smiling, she pointed at a small chest of drawers next to the bed. Atop it sat my touchscreen cell phone, covered in dust. The height of summer. “Height” was the only way you could put it. I had no clue summer was even supposed to get this hot. My body, generously blessed with the glory of air-conditioning until just a moment ago, was all but making breakfast-griddle sizzling sounds as the sweat poured off me. All of this in the space of just twenty seconds. I had begun my journey at a confident saunter, but I could feel my hit points quickly being drained. “Uhh, testing, testing. Can you hear me, master? Check one, two…” “…How about we go back home…?” “What? What was that? Hey, can you bring me a little closer when you talk, please?” “Uh…never mind.” The owner of that nagging voice probably didn’t know how to feel heat. I couldn’t have been more jealous. With my ear-canal earphones on as I gripped my phone like some kind of walkie-talkie, I must have looked like an agent on some kind of mission. She had all but forced me to bring her along in the end, threatening to play that siren sound from the morning again or go on my high school’s online forum and place a personal ad using my real name. She was beaming as she strolled around my phone’s standby screen. Somehow I doubted she would be accepting any calls that showed up. I never imagined that software would be operating me one day, not the other way around. Although the “operator” in question is really more of a modern-day plague-spirit. Out on the street, I was faced with the full brunt of summer’s brutal barrage. Haze was shimmering off the far end of the road. I felt like an arctic (or antarctic, for that matter) creature suddenly thrown into the savanna. It was hot. Temperature, humidity; the exact statistics mattered little. It was just hot. “You have to be kidding me…This is what summer’s like?” “Weren’t you listening to me earlier? People were going to the hospital for heat stroke!…Oh, did you bring your insurance card, master?” “Sure did. All set for the ambulance. Eesh.” Before I left, I had brought along a few things to ensure I was ready for anything that happened. If worse came to worst and I collapsed in a pile of molten goo, at least they’d know who I am. Or was. “Perfect! Nothing to worry about, then! Let’s get truckin’!” “Yeah…Wait, no! Why are you bossing me around?! This is all your fault I’m here in the—” “Oh! Hey, go right at this stoplight! Right!” “Huh? This street? Sorry…Man, I don’t remember these roads at all. I don’t even know where I am any longer.” “Well, you never go outside, master. It’s been two years since you left the house, right? It looks like the local map’s changed completely since then.” The crushing heat prevented me from noticing, but things really had changed a lot. I could see a new and unfamiliar midrise building in front of me, there were a couple of new condos here and there, and what few memories of the area that remained were quickly being overwritten in my mind. Must’ve been some of that urban development they’re talking about. I’ve lived in this town for a while now, but I don’t remember it changing this quickly in just two years. That, or maybe shutting myself in my room made the gap seem that much more gaping when I finally tiptoed out. I was seized by the feeling that someone, somewhere, was gradually replacing my city, piece by piece. Maybe everyone who lives here, including me, just didn’t notice until now. I mulled the idea as I turned back and made a right at the intersection, finding myself on a larger street. My home was in a surprisingly handy location. There was a variety of transportation options, and the streets saw a decent amount of foot traffic. Watching the people crossing from left to right, right to left between the two buildings that flanked the street ahead didn’t seem different at all from the display I usually spent my time staring at. “Okay, make a left onto the main street and keep following it. Then go right and…um, master?” “Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Got it. So, which way next?” “I said, go left onto the main street! Then make a right! You sure are spacing out on me, master…Oh no! You aren’t having heat stroke, are you?!” “No, nothing like that. It just feels kind of…weird. Is there really a department store in that area?” There definitely wasn’t one two years ago. Not a big one, at least. It used to take kind of a field trip to find any electronics nearby. “No doubt about it. See? Here’s what it says on the website: “Your hometown department store! From home appliances and electronics to our vast array of kitchen accessories, we’ve got everything you need!”…Ooh, but they only built it this spring, I guess.” “Oh…No wonder I didn’t know. But why here, though…?” “Well, it looks like they’ve been pretty aggressively developing this neighborhood lately. If you go right here a little ways, there’s this huge hospital, and then a new school after that. A big library, too, across the street. That all got built up from the end of last year to this one.” “All of that?! Man, this place has really changed…Anyway, here’s the main street.” Leaving the side street, I was greeted with a panoramic view of my town. Billboards and trees lining the road. Office buildings and restaurants. Students in uniforms. Company staffers apologizing into their phones. That, and all the noise, noise, noise they were making. I felt something akin to light-headedness at all the emotions it conjured up at once. “Whoa…I think I gotta bail. Wanna go home? Yeah, let’s go home.” “Sure are a lot of people, huh? That’s the Obon holiday for you, I suppose. Better hang in there!” “You’re not even listening to me, are you…? Oh, man, look at all these people…” The shade from the trees that dotted the sidewalk, wider and better put together than the one on the side road, made walking a bit less of a chore, at least. But all the people on the road and cars passing from one end to the other were making the heat index skyrocket for me. I pressed on down the road, muttering into my phone, before reaching a massive intersection. “If you go back home, master, you know you’ll just be like ‘oooh, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die.’ Tough it out a little longer!” “Look, can you…ugh. I can’t do it. Talking to you just makes me more tired. Oh, it’s green. Better cross…” After crossing the intersection, I could see a park a small distance ahead. It was filled with playground equipment—swings, a jungle gym, a fountain, and lots of other stuff a kid would kill to play on. Moving ahead, I could see just a bit of classic big-department-store signage on top of the right-hand building, previously hidden by the sidewalk trees and such. “Whoa. It’s even bigger than I thought. I had no idea this was here…” “It’s the largest department store in the neighborhood, apparently! Why don’t you take a look through the clothing section while you’re at it?” “What’re you, nuts? I told you, I’m going out today and today only. I’m sick of all this damn heat already.” “Yep! Called it! I knew that’s what you’d say! If you’d told me you were going out to buy clothes, it would’ve been time to dial 911!” “What am I, a caveman? I can buy clothes, dumbass!” “Oh? So go browse a little.” “W-well, maybe not today…but…” Before I could finish, I heard an ominous “keh-heh-heh” from my phone. I could already feel my face turning red as I put it back in my pocket. “Agh! Master, I was joking! We can do it next time! Okay?” The phone stayed firmly inside my pocket. “Yeah,” I whispered to no one in particular. “Next time.” I doubt she could have heard my voice. Making my way toward the advertising signage, I stumbled into another four-lane intersection. The line of buildings on the right came to an end, revealing the full department store across the street. …The scope of it could be described only as gigantic. The jam-packed parking lot was large enough to make an untold number of tennis courts out of. Cars constantly circulated in and out. Beyond the multihued traffic, the department store was made up of two buildings, both around ten floors tall, with arched walkways connecting them every few floors. “Wow. What a sight. You can build something like this in two years or so…?” “Oh! You there already? Master? Helloooooo?” “I just crossed the intersection. Not yet.” “Lemme see, too! Come onnnnn, master!” “Ugh, all right, all right! Shut up!” Having enough of being ranted at on full blast, I nimbly took the phone out of my pocket and pointed the rear camera at the store. An impartial onlooker would probably guess I was taking a souvenir photo. “Wowwwww…! That’s amazing! It’s like some kind of castle!” “You know, that’s not a bad way of putting it. Especially when it’s done up all like this.” “Huh…Oh! Hey, I think there’s an amusement park or something on the roof! Let’s go look!” She used the phone’s vibrate function to express her unbridled glee. Just as high intensity as always. More so, in fact. “No, how ’bout we not go look?! It’s not like you could try anything up there anyway.” “Laaaame.” The phone erupted with a couple of short bursts of vibration, followed by the new-text-message jingle. I knew it was her doing, of course. It wasn’t like there was anyone who would’ve actually been texting me. “Mmm? What?” I looked at the screen, only to find her staring back at me, a peeved expression on her face. Her aggressive, furrowed gaze was enough to genuinely startle me. “You could at least try to be a little more considerate, master! There’s all kinds of places I want to go!” “Yeah, that’s great. You know you can’t go on any of the rides, right? What’s so fun about that? It’d be boring.” “…Ugh! All right! Forget it! Just go on your dumb little shopping trip! Go ride the merry-go-round by yourself for all I care!” “You’re not catching me dead on that, okay?!” She flashed a look at me, and with that, the power shut off…Or not. The clock in the background was still on. Energy-save mode, maybe? Either way, the screen was totally black. “Huh? Oh, come on. Hello?” I pushed some buttons and shook the phone around a bit. Nothing. Slowly, inexorably, the clock continued its advance. It was currently just past twelve thirty. “What’re you acting like this for? I really don’t get why—Ow!” Someone bumped into me. I had it coming, maybe. I was stopped just after the intersection, nearby the entrance to the store grounds. “Oh, uh, sorry about—” I turned upward, involuntarily looking into those eyes…and for a moment, time froze. Even though it was midsummer, he was wearing a long-sleeved, light purple coat. His eyes were only just visible from deep within the drawn hood, but they were cold as ice, the eyes of some dead, inorganic beast. I was seized in fright, as if looking at some forbidden bauble, and I felt the sweat jetting out of every pore in my body. “Uh…umm…So, uh, I’m sorry for—” I bowed my head down, making my self-diagnosed social anxiety disorder plain to the world with my stilted apology. This is it. He’s going to kill me. Thanks for everything, Mom. Wish I could’ve gotten a girlfriend, at least. “…Oh, no biggie. Sorry about that.” “Huh…?” The moment I looked back up, not a trace of him could be found. The front entrance was crowded, but not crowded enough for someone to disappear in a flash like that. There was nothing immediately nearby that he could have concealed himself behind. Not that quickly. I braced my arms against my knees, my body ready to collapse on the spot. My heart pulsed loudly in my ears, and the sweat oozed out on cue. This wasn’t just because it was the first time I interacted with another human being in ages. Those were absolutely the coldest eyes I had ever encountered in my entire life. And not because he was angry I bumped into him, either. They were deeper than that. They emitted a sense of intense calmness, a calm beyond anything I could imagine. “…right?” “…Huh?” “I said, are you all right?” Taking out my phone, I looked at the screen to find her perched in the center, apparently back in business but just as pouty as before. “Oh…You’re still there? I had hoped you finally left me alone to…uh.” Somewhere around the moment I was about to finish the sentence, her face began to glow bright red. Was this bad? Yeah, this was bad. I had never seen her truly in a rage before, but either way, this definitely wasn’t her cheerful side. “No! Uh, sorry! I’m just joking! I’m sorry, okay? Hey, let’s go to the roof later! Up to that amusement park! Okay?” In an instant, the red that had stormed across her face disappeared, and her eyes shined so brightly that I could almost hear the sparkly sound effects. Great. I was scrambling for words, I know, but that was one button I absolutely should not have pushed. “The amusement park?! Really? You just said we’re going?!” The phone practically vibrated itself out of my grip. The sparklies I heard in my mind were starting to get out of hand. “Uh…? Um…S-sure, yeah! Great! It’ll be a nice change of pace!” “That’s a promise, right?! Ummm…Oh! Hey, let’s go on that thing that goes up and down and stuff! And after that…ooh, after that…!” Part of me felt a twinge of regret at the reaction I was getting, but I figured it was harmless enough. I had already begun to file away my earlier encounter as nothing to concern myself about. This was more interesting anyway. The outside world was just as much a wondrous surprise for her as it was for me. She can’t smell the city or feel the heat steaming out from it, and maybe it’s made her far more enraptured with this world than I am, or ever will be. I went through the entryway, nodding in vague agreement to all her giggling requests for tour stops as I proceeded in. The design on the paved stone path leading in from the entrance must have cost a staggering amount of cash. It was hopelessly, thoroughly ornate, a mesh of rectangular stones in a dazzling variety of colors. No doubt it was meant to symbolize some grand, murky spiritual something-or-other mere plebeians like me could never hope to understand. Tromping across this inscrutable creation of a no doubt lofty-minded artistic genius, I reached the building that loomed on the left side of the path. From directly underneath, it seemed impossibly high, giving the illusion of extending all the way into the cosmos. An information map, again done up in gilded, ornate fashion, stood in front of the enormous glass door. It was encased in an exquisite frame, one that would be right at home surrounding some great cultural masterpiece. “Electronics, electronics…Oh, seventh floor.” “Once we’re done on that up-’n’-down thing, I want to go on the roller coaster, okay? We can save the Ferris wheel for later, so…” “All right! I hear you! We’re going!” She kept repeating her itinerary like some magical incantation, to the point where I could imagine “up-’n’-down thing” and “roller coaster” leapfrogging each other in my mind, one springing along after the other for eternity. “Great! So let’s get the shopping over with! Mouse! Keyboard!” “I need something to drink first…” The door automatically opened as I stood in front of it. In an instant, frigid air greeted me with its blessed presence. “Hnnaahhhhh…” The pleasant rush was enough to make me audibly moan. “You make it sound so dirty, master!” “That’s the first thing you have to say to your master after he’s come so far?” Oh, crap. I had yelled out loud at her. A family of customers browsing around a display of summer gear stared right at me. The youngest boy pointed toward me, laughing innocently. “Um…uh. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.” I was sure they saw me as some kind of demented invalid. Putting on a less-than-believable smile, I let the boy watch me as I hurried myself toward the elevators and out of sight. Don’t end up like me, kid. The elevators were in a room detached a small distance from the shopping space, one that featured a bench and some vending machines lined up on the wall. An elderly man was sitting there, next to a woman with a baby in her arms. “Oooooh, vending machines…!” It had finally come. The moment when I would get the beverage I had thus far denied myself for some reason, waiting until I’d arrived at this exact place. My throat was so dry, I was afraid my esophageal walls would glue themselves together with every breath I took. I took a thousand-yen bill out of my wallet—I’m a high roller, I know—and fed it to the drinks machine. That carbonated beverage was all mine. The thought of the liquefied sugar osmosing into every cell of my body filled my heart with childlike excitement. The moment the button lit up, I jammed my thumb into it. There was just 0.3 seconds’ worth of difference. I’ve got supernatural reflexes when I need ’em. The sound of the thudding soda can filled my ears with its blunt melody. That thud was surely one of the joys of the vending-machine experience. I was almost moved to tears by the clunk sound I’d gone so long without hearing. The can I eventually plucked out was blistering cold to the touch, like something from another world. It was sheer bliss, and my only regret was that this wondrous delight could only be savored by the palm of my hand. I was seized by the impulse to run this can across every inch of my drenched body, but that really would make me a pervert. Enough of that. The time had finally come. I pulled the tab and opened the can. The psshh sound serenaded my ears anew, the aroma of the carbonated beverage ruthlessly, thoroughly caressing my nostrils. Without a moment’s hesitation, I brought it to my lips and poured it down my throat. Then I let it soak in…No. That hardly begins to explain the feeling. I let it fill me, in every way possible. “You should stop panting like that, master. It’s gross.” “Gnnhh. Ahhh…” “Now it’s beyond gross.” “Shut up! If you could drink this, you’d do the exact same thing!” “I would not. By the way, master, the elevator’s waiting!” Out of the four elevators that lined the wall, the one on the far left was open, people quickly streaming out of it. Once emptied, it briskly began to fill with impatient customers. “Huh? Oh. Yeah, I’ll take the next one. Once I’m done drinking this.” With that, I slurped down the soda, enjoying the fragrant carbonation as its sugary payload infiltrated every cell of my— “Ahhhh! It’s closing! Hurry up and drink it!” “We’ll go on the next one, for chrissake! I’m busy!” “Come onnnn…Hurry! What if it’s closed when we get up there?!” “They’re not gonna close the damn amusement park in the middle of the day! That elevator’s full anyway.” The remainder of the elevator line had already opted against joining the pack of sardines inside the car. “Just hang tight for a sec. I’ll get us on the next one.” Ignoring her as she put the phone on a low rumble, I examined the elevator a bit more closely. The up and down buttons were the kind that lit up with just a light touch, the arrows done in a fancy font that revealed the interior designer’s thoroughness. A short introduction to the store was written on a plaque next to the left-hand elevator. “Huh…‘The building’s state-of-the-art, computer-controlled disaster-prevention technology provides the maximum level of safety possible in every corner of the store.’ Neat.” “State-of-the-art, huh? They better erase the ‘state-of-the-art’ bit next year.” “Yeah. Nice attention to detail there. You never know; maybe they’ll put some new state-of-the-art stuff in next year. Besides, they’re just bragging, is all. All they’re saying here is ‘We got all this fancy junk on the outside, but the inside’s full of high-tech crap, too,’ you know?” “Huh…Sounds like a pain to keep running.” “I’ll bet. Oh, here it is.” The “1” light on the nearest elevator flashed, and just as before, the riders flowed through the open doors. Once everyone was spat out, the elevator was once again inundated with a steady stream of waiting shoppers. From where I was located, I would have no difficulty getting on this time. Tossing the empty can into a nearby garbage bin, I followed the flow into the elevator. The “7” button for electronics was already lit up in orange; some previous passenger must have pressed it. I appreciated the gesture, given that the crush of people was making the button panel difficult to reach. Once the elevator approached its maximum weight load, the doors silently slid shut and we began to go upward. The air-conditioning was on, but all these riders in a cramped space still made things sticky and uncomfortable. I wanted to get off as soon as possible, but we stopped at nearly every floor before the seventh, my body getting squeezed and kneaded at every stop before I finally reached my destination. Finally, the door opened, and I filed out with a few other customers. Compared to the summerwear, swimsuits, and food that spread across the first floor, it was a completely different world. The entire space was surrounded by large panes of glass, filling the floor with bright sunlight. The sense of fresh, inviting openness that filled it seemed strange for an electronics department. It exuded high-class stateliness, like an elite office building. The first thing that caught my eye was the kitchen-goods department. It was lined with enormous refrigerators, all but daring customers to hang an entire pig’s carcass from its roof, something I would never fit into my place in a million years. I noticed a line of metallic, weapon-like rice cookers, all of which seemed far too complex for simply cooking rice. Colorful signs shouted NEW INVENTORY! and HOT PRODUCT! in huge lettering. For someone like me with no interest whatsoever in this stuff, it all seemed totally alien. A large aisle—it had to be fortyish meters in length—slashed its way across the entire floor. On the far end, I could see fancy-looking audio systems and the latest flat-screen TVs displayed on the wall. “Whoa! This is huge! I bet this floor alone is bigger than most specialty electronics shops, huh?” Not wishing to get screamed at any more than I had already, I pointed my phone’s camera straight ahead as I hit the aisles. There was nothing but large appliances at the forefront, and judging by the length of the aisles and the size of the building, you could probably find almost anything electrical you wanted in here. There must have been ten or so employees milling around, all wearing vests with catchy sales slogans sewn on. “Master! What’s that? It looks like a bomb!” “That…? What is that? Some kind of water heater? It looks like a huge hand grenade.” With its rough, rugged design and uniform dark-teal color, it must have been deliberately designed to resemble a weapon. If it weren’t for the meter on the side showing the current water level, someone would have called the bomb squad by now. “That is soooo cool! Hey, master, you mentioned you wanted some hot water earlier, didn’t you?!” “Yeah, but I just didn’t feel like going downstairs to make some instant ramen, okay? I don’t need that piece of junk in my room. That, and I’d still need to go downstairs to fill it up.” “Aww, why not? It’d make a great conversation piece when you get a visitor or—uh. I’m sorry. Said too much.” A pall descended between us. Her expression was solemn, as if she had accidentally brought up a friend’s horrible incontinence problem at a dinner party. “Let’s just drop it.” “I apologize! I just wasn’t thinking, so…I’ll be more careful next time.” “Just drop it! Okay?!…But oh, hey, check this thing out! That design is nuts!” I frantically tried changing the topic to the microwave ovens lined up next to us along the aisle. Not only were they perfectly normal, but they were also from a brand I’d never heard of. A sign reading INVENTORY CLEARANCE! was tacked to the wall, and they had all been discounted two-thirds off their list price. “How ’bout it, huh? Nice and simple, but that’s what makes it so avant-garde, right? What do you think? Huh?! Wanna take one home?!” “Master, you need that even less than the last thing! That bomb was a lot cooler than this!…Oh, also, what did you come here to buy in the first place?!” “Oh. Yeah, the mouse. Let’s get it and go home.” “…Master?” Two quick jolts of vibration signaled her suddenly serious tone. “No! Yeah, I know! The amusement park! I didn’t forget, all right? Uh, where’s the computer stuff…?” I peeked at the signs hanging from the ceiling, pointing out all the assorted electronics available. They were a little too specific to help me find what I wanted. “Computer goods, compu—Oof!” I was so busy staring upward as I wandered around that I bumped right into a sales employee. It had been a very bump-into-guys kind of day. I wasn’t much of a fan. “Excuse me! Uh…Could, could you tell me where the computer equipment is?” I removed an earbud as I spoke, trying my best to sound apologetic to the employee while I did. Once I had a good look at her face, I realized that she was…well, pretty beautiful. She had to have a boyfriend. The sheer femininity she exuded told me that much. “Umm…?” the employee said, confused for a moment. “Oh! Right! Computers! Just go straight down this aisle, then go right down the second-to-last aisle before the wall.” “Oh. Uh…uh, th-thank you…” My first decent conversation with another human being since time immemorial made me nervous, but the relief at pulling it off—and with such a pretty woman, too!—filled me with satisfied smugness. Yes. I like this store. I could feel my feet growing lighter as I traipsed down the aisle she pointed out. “Umm, master?” “Hmm? What’s up?” My response sounded even more upbeat than I intended. Does talking to a woman really change a person this much? I felt like I had uncovered one of the great secrets of life. “About this…” Suddenly, I heard a stream of ambient noise broadcast into my ear. “Huh? What’re you…” Just as I was about to ask, I heard the murmur of background noise hiss in my headphones. Then— “Ahhh…ex-cuuuuse me…?…Uh. Uhhh…C-c-could you tell me…Where…where the computer equipment…?…Is?” said the creepily hushed voice of a young man. This was followed by a plainly confused (though still clear and refreshing) “Umm…” from a young woman. Then the recording ended. “That was how it sounded, master. No wonder it took her a second to understand you.” The results of spending the past year engaging in mumbly conversations with a mysterious computer AI were now crystal clear. I felt like someone had driven a cold, stonelike object into my stomach. I had to resist the impulse to scream at the top of my lungs. “I’m pretty much used to it by now, you know, but for normal people, that’s gonna be pretty tough to decipher.” “Let’s…let’s just go home.” “No, master! We haven’t gone to the amusement park yet!” “Oh, who cares anymore…? This whole thing’s been like a roller coaster to me anyway.” I was afraid the tears would fall out if I looked down, so I kept walking with my head tilted upward. I was never coming back here again. “Oh, don’t worry about it so much! If you want to talk, you know, I’m always happy to listen!” “Great, ’cause once we get home, I’m gonna need some counseling. I want to die…” “Hee-hee-hee! You got it! So just hang in there for now, all right, master? Look! We’re almost at the computer section, aren’t we?” To my right, I was greeted with an array of Internet-ready headsets and cameras. They probably set up this display to cash in on the big video-streaming craze. It was so stupid. Why can’t we as a species all just stop talking to each other? The aisle beyond was radiant with superthin notebook PCs and high-spec computers for online gaming, the sort of machines that would normally make me squeal with delight. But now, I just wanted to get my mouse and stuff, get on the up-’n’-down thing, get on the roller coaster, and get home. “I gotta get back home…” “Master?!” “All right, all right…ugh…” I plodded on, toward the mice display, signs on both sides inviting me to GET ON THE NET QUICKLY AND EASILY! and CONNECT YOUR PHONE TO YOUR PC FOR VIDEO CHAT! and so on. It was honestly just tiring to look at. Working my way through the gaudy showroom, I finally reached the mouse and keyboard section. It was packed with all the latest gadgets. Wireless, trackballs, you name it. “Sure are a lot of ’em. Guess it doesn’t really matter what I get, but I might as well go for a durable model—” —It was so sudden. With no advance warning, a loud boom echoed across the entire floor, even blaring through my earbuds. It was a muffled, otherworldly kind of sound, but one I had heard before. On cue, I heard screams all around me. In an instant, my heart was racing. I impulsively ripped an earbud out. It added a vital sense of realism to the shouting and the chaos that ruled showroom-wide. “What the hell’s—?!” I was in too narrow of an aisle to get the full picture. As I tried to reach the main aisle, the sound of something heavy and metallic thudding downward echoed across the floor once again. I looked back toward the elevators, only to find the corridor I had just walked down blocked by a white metal wall. It was as if the shutter was designed to cut the floor cleanly in half—the side with the elevators, and this side. I was completely sealed off, the shutter not touching a single merchandise shelf and not leaving a single exit. Looking toward the shutter, at the far end of the now-blocked main aisle, I instantly realized what was making the noise. I could hardly believe it at first, but once I grasped the reality of it, the blood drained impossibly quickly from my face. That thing must’ve caused the first blast, along with the screaming. The female employee I had just asked directions from was lying there. A red puddle was slowly expanding beneath her, from her healthy-looking thighs to the white tiled floor. The twisted look of pain on her face contained not a trace of the cheerful smile that was once there. A large man stood nearby. He wore a stubbly beard and the sort of sheer, body-hugging suit you see special-forces guys wear in the movies. He had a pistol in his hand and grenades hanging from his hips—real ones, a far cry from the water heater earlier—and yet he acted strangely nonchalant, as if nothing was at all amiss. Several other men were around him, all dressed alike. They encircled the stubble-bearded man, guns pointed at the shoppers stuck in each aisle. Mine was in their blind spot, and from it, I could hear the screams of the shoppers, along with the strident, shouted commands from the men keeping them at bay. The employees were apparently just as helpless as the customers. There were likely more men besides the ones I could see. Everyone who heard the initial explosion and gunshot. Everyone who actually saw it. Everyone else who was running in a panic around the floor—all of us were corralled together at frightening speed. It couldn’t have taken more than a few minutes. This group had the showroom floor completely under their control with astonishing speed. “…That all of them?” “Yes, sir. That’s everyone on this side of the floor, including the shoppers.” “Good. Aww, I suppose all of you were busy enjoying a little shopping on your holiday or whatever. Well, too bad. Guess you’re out of luck today, huh?” The stubble-bearded man bombarded those of us beneath him with his crass, unsettling voice. Several dozen of us were gathered into a corner of the TV department on the far side of the seventh floor. We had all been made to sit on the ground, our hands bound with some kind of superstrong adhesive tape. The glass windows the sunlight had been seeping through just a moment ago were covered in white shutters, the kind the employees lower down after the store closes. A cacophony of patrol sirens faintly whined in the background, and we could hear the voices of what we assumed to be police negotiators on the other side of the giant floor-splitting shutter. Nine men stood in front of us, all of them dressed like walking definitions of the word “terrorist.” Three of them had their guns drawn upon us, three of them toward the shutter, and another two were close by the presumed leader, the stubble-bearded man, engaged in conversation. “Thirteen hundred hours. It’s time.” “Right.” At the signal of his partner, who had been keeping a close eye on his watch, the stubble-bearded man took out his cell phone. He began to talk, the picture of calmness, like he was ordering a pizza. Suddenly, the voice emanated not from the man in front of us, but from the building’s PA system at high volume. “Uhh, test, test, test. Oh, can you hear me? Hello, officers. Another boring day on patrol, huh? I’m only gonna say this once, so pay attention.” The moment he began to speak, the negotiators across the shutter fell silent. The man took a breath, the faraway sirens the only noise we could hear. “As you probably noticed, we’ve taken over this floor. We’ve got several dozen hostages, and, ah, they’re all right for now…for now. So let’s make this quick. We have one demand. We want one billion yen within thirty minutes.” The man continued in his matter-of-fact tone, not giving notice to the reactions around him, as if he was simply asking for a side of cheese bread. “The handover will take place half an hour from now, on the roof of this building. One of our men is already stationed up there. You will drop the money to him from a helicopter. Don’t bother with counterfeit bills or tracking devices or anything; you’ll be wasting your time. Also, and I’m sure you can guess this, but if I start hearing things like ‘We need more time’ or ‘Release the hostages first,’ we’re going to immediately kill everybody here.” This caused an instant clamor from the captured customers, one that was just as quickly halted by the barrels of the three men’s guns. Several customers were quietly choking back their sobs. “…Well, that about wraps it up. So try and act accordingly, all right? If you don’t follow what I told you, no matter what it is…ah, I suppose you know. Catch you later.” After the man finished, his voice no more excited than if he were chatting with a friend, he sat down on a nearby bench, acting like this whole business was terribly annoying to him. How many people ever become terrorist hostages in their lives? It can’t be that high a percentage. Now, how about people who get taken hostage after stepping out of their home for the first time in two years? Anyone besides me? I was disgusted with my utter and complete lack of good fortune. If today wasn’t the very definition of an unlucky day, then I didn’t know what was. “Ugh. We have got nothing to do right now. You think I shoulda made it fifteen minutes?” The man had a leg on one knee, playing with his cell phone, not a care in the world. I thought that the ringleader of a gang about to commit the crime of the century would be…I don’t know. Less lethargic? “It’s only a little longer now, sir,” said one of his nearby cronies, trying his best to tactfully appease him. They were already acting like they got away with the perfect crime…What were they planning to do after this? Do they have an escape helicopter coming? No way. They’d get tracked down and rounded up in one fell swoop. There had to be at least one more gang member, the guy who lowered the shutter and set up the PA announcement, besides the handover man on the roof. So much for that “state-of-the-art, maximum level of safety” crap. This is a total disaster! That fancy-schmancy system gave them exactly the tools they needed. If all the security equipment was controlled by computer, anyone who seized that computer could have this entire structure at their fingertips from the control room. I had no idea how they did it, but judging by how calm they were, they must have been confident about their escape. They didn’t make it look perfect, but everything had been handled perfectly so far. They had to have something planned. —But I didn’t feel like quietly waiting for it. Will they release us? These men didn’t look like they cared about human lives any more than a stray bug on their leg. And now they had our lives in their hands. A situation as unstable as this could fall apart at any moment. A catalyst. If there was just some kind of catalyst, we could flip this completely over. “Ngh!” Suddenly, the stubble-bearded man stood up, his face twisted in pain, holding the back of his head. “Hey…!” “Huh…? Grhhh!” The man approached one of his cronies and punched him full in the stomach. “Don’t ‘huh’ me…Who the hell you think you’re punching in the head? Huh?! C’mon, tell me!” He launched a swift kick at the crony, still writhing on the floor. Everyone nearby tensed up at this odd turn of events. Not even the men guarding us could fully conceal their agitation. “What the hell’s going on…?” I whispered to myself. “Heh-heh-heh…” As the ringleader’s angry voice boomed across the floor, the man sitting behind me to the left suddenly began to snicker. “Huh…?” Surprised, I turned to look at the man who erupted in this sudden, incredibly inappropriate laughter. “Mm? Oh, uh, sorry. Like, it was just so funny, I couldn’t help myself.” I supposed he was a little younger than me. His large, catlike eyes were situated underneath short, light brown hair, his frame covered by a gray sports jacket. “Something funny to you…?” “What? Oh, sure, this and that. You know, I can’t help but notice you’ve got some very interesting-looking eyes. Lemme guess: You’re thinking about doing something, but, like, you haven’t spotted a good chance yet. Right?” The shouting continued. Everyone, terrorist and hostage, was completely on edge, and yet this guy acted like he couldn’t care less, as if this were a movie and he was watching it on TV. “How do you…?” Our hushed conversation was drowned out by all the terrorist ranting. The man with the catlike eyes continued. “Oh, just a hunch. But how about it…? You have some kind of secret plan, maybe?” “…Guys like these, if I could get my hands free, I could make their eyes bug out in half a minute.” “Yeah? Huh. Wow. You don’t look like you’re lying, either. So, like, what kind of chances are you giving yourself?” “Um…not to brag…but 100 percent.” He began to snicker derisively again. “You don’t have to believe me. I doubt I can get this tape off anyway.” “No, no, sorry. It’s not that I don’t believe you; I just love that crazy confidence you have. Yeah. Neat.” He did not look like he believed me at all. In fact, he looked like this entire crisis was the greatest matinee show ever. But this wasn’t a crazed man, driven into a mad panic by the ordeal. His words were strangely soothing. “You know, I think if we wait a bit, that guy’s probably gonna talk over the PA system again. You’d be, like, guaranteed to see a chance after that. And then…well, it’d be up to you, I guess. Good luck, okay?” “Huh? What’re you talking about? Don’t you remember? I can’t even get my hands—” “God, this is pissing me off. Hey, get me on the mike again. I got something I want to say to these idiots.” “Y-yes, sir!” Punching out his cronies, one by one, as they tried to plead their cases to him apparently failed to quell the stubble-bearded man’s anger. The veins on his forehead bulged visibly as he ordered one of his men to get him back on the PA. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since the last announcement, and here we go again. The cat-eyed man took in the scene, basking in every minute of it. Whether it was coincidence or not, he had predicted all of this. But will that give me a chance? And even if it did, unless I could get this tape off my hands, there was no way to take advantage of it. After his minion reported back, the man took out his phone and began his second broadcast. “Uh…You guys hear me? I’m taking ten minutes off the time limit. You now have ten minutes left. You start whining about how that’s not enough, I’m killing half the hostages. Got that?” Once more, the hostages began to shout and scream. The terrorists guarding them, so quick to silence the group earlier, seemed just as nervous and confused at this sudden change of plans. “Also, I’m gonna say this now, but after we get the money, we’re all leaving by helicopter. I’d advise against trying to track us. If we go down, the bomb we got in there’s gonna take a nice chunk of the city out with us. If we notice even the slightest hint of any pursuit, we’re gonna drop that sucker.” A commotion rose up among the police on the other side of the shutter. I couldn’t blame them. They were taking the entire town hostage. Whoever these men were, they were a tightly structured group, one with a scrupulously designed plan. They were willing to stake the lives of everyone in town to make their escape. And given how well armed they apparently were, no way the police alone could handle them. Not in this short a time. “What is he thinking…?” My house could very well be within their bomb range. If my mother or my little sister was back home right now, no way they could escape the blast. “Damn…This has got to stop.” I could feel myself growing increasingly unable to contain my bubbling frustration. The cat-eyed man spoke to me, as if he saw this coming. “Stay cool. This’ll be just a little bit longer, so stay cool.” I couldn’t take his laid-back idiocy anymore. “…Why are you so goddamn relaxed?! My family might die in a few minutes!” I had screamed at the top of my lungs. The entire floor fell completely silent. Even the men guarding us looked bewildered for a moment. The cat-eyed man made an “oh dear, now you’ve done it” face for a moment, but still didn’t look particularly disturbed. The stubble-bearded man turned his sharp gaze toward me. Then he started walking my way. When he reached me, he stooped down and brought his face close to mine. “Who the hell do you think you are?” The moment he spoke, visions of all the man’s previous violent behavior flashed across my eyes. My body was filled with a kind of fear that was completely alien to me. I began to shiver convulsively. “Hey, what’re you shaking for? Where’d all that macho BS go, huh?” Smirking, he took me by the hair and pulled me up. “All skin and bones, aren’t you…? I bet you don’t even go outside at all. A wimpy little shut-in puss like you, nobody’s gonna miss you when you’re dead! Huh? Will they?!” The man erupted in a burst of laughter, then turned to speak with his crew. His loud voice literally rang in my mind. …Good thing I only had to listen to him at full blast with one of my ears. “…for life…” “Huh? You say something? Speak up. I can’t hear you.” I looked him in the eye as I tried to articulate as much as possible. “I hope all you bastards get shut into a jail cell for life!” “Ooh! Nice! That was a good one!” The moment after my would-be critic stopped talking, a large television hanging just behind the man fell to the ground with a tremendous crash. It was so sudden that everyone instantly turned toward the sound. After that, the oversized speakers beneath it began toppling over, one after the other, even though nothing had even touched them. “Whoa! What the hell…?!” The stubble-bearded man tossed me away like a rag and walked toward the mess, gun in hand. “There somebody in—?!” Before he could finish, the shelf adjacent to the man suddenly tipped over, the merchandise it was holding falling on him in an avalanche. “Ngh! Whoa!” Beyond the fallen shelf, I could see the computer department I’d been holed up in when this all began. I had no idea why all of this was happening so suddenly, but this had to be my “chance.” A moment later, all the tension drained from my body. “Off you go. Looking forward to it!” I turned to the cat-eyed man next to me. He was waving a hand at me, smiling. Somehow we were both unbound. My heart pulsed louder than ever before on that day. Even louder than when the siren jarred me awake that morning. I placed a hand on the floor and nimbly pushed myself up to my feet in a single motion. The gun-toting terrorists were completely taken aback, unable to follow what was going on. I could commiserate. I didn’t really understand what I was doing, either. —But I knew what I had to accomplish. I jumped over to the mound of merchandise covering the stubble-bearded man, used him as a springboard to make sure he stayed there, and leaped for the computer display beyond. The other men finally reacted, turning their guns toward me. I could hear screaming and “Look out!” from the group of hostages.