“So what’ll we play first?” she asked. “And no cheating!” I couldn’t guess how I was supposed to cheat at selecting a stall. All of this had happened so quickly, I hadn’t really thought about what I wanted to do. For starters, I decided to take a look around. Goldfish scooping? Nah. I felt kind of bad about handling animals in a game like that. There was a prize lottery game, but the admission fee was kind of high, and I couldn’t see how we could compete in it anyway. “…Um, how about that one, Marie?” I pointed at a pea-green stand a ways ahead down the row. She stood on her tiptoes, hopping around to gain a better view. I suppose her height prevented her from seeing over the crowds of people. Well, no point waiting. If we head there and she says she doesn’t like it, no big deal. I grabbed Marie by the hand and attempted to take the long way around the crowd toward my chosen stand. “Tanuki?” Marie asked, perplexed at the sign she could only read part of. “No, katanuki.” Inside the tent we stopped at was a circle of barren plywood tables, a bunch of children bent over them and working intently on something. Each had a light-pink, rectangular piece of starch-based candy in their hands, each piece stamped with line art depicting a ship, a top, or some other simple object. The idea of katanuki, or “die cutting,” was to use a needle, a toothbrush, and other tools to cut the picture out of the candy mold in one piece. If you did it well enough, you earned a prize. “Hey, hello, hello,” said the well-built man running the place, a white washcloth wrapped around his forehead as he addressed Marie with his husky voice. “Is that your big brother bringing you here, little girl?” Big brother…? Do we really look like that? I guess I can’t deny it, can I? “Yeah, boss! Boy, you sure are loud today!” “Boss?!” Was this the guy who’d foisted that flounder on her?! The well-tanned gentleman flashed his oddly sparkling white teeth at me in a broad smile, as if saying, “Wasn’t that fish good? Hee-hee-hee!” Well, yes, it was good. I’d wound up pickling most of it in spices, but… “Well, a little girl like you, I’ll letcha have one for free, okay? Pick whatever one you want!” The boys around the table booed this as we were half dragged inside the tent. We pored over the list of designs the boss showed us. There were one or two dozen, from instantly recognizable artwork to overly toon-ified pieces that were hard to figure out at a glance. None of them had captions, so the important thing was the number at the bottom of each design. One of them was presumably a spinning top—really just a body with a little head and tail added to it—and it was marked “100 yen.” Next to it, a picture that looked kind of like a watering can was listed at 300 yen. Above that, a gourd valued at 500. And so forth. I had never played katanuki before, but my dad had run down the basic rules for me a while earlier. You had to cut out the design from this solid block of candy and hand it back to the proprietor without breaking it along the way. Once you did, you got the money listed at the bottom of the design. The more a piece was “worth,” the harder it was to cut out, and vice versa. We needed to think about how to adapt these rules in a way that let Marie and me compete in the game. “Whoever makes the most money wins,” maybe? Hmm. Maybe this will wind up being pretty fun after all… “Okay, Marie! Let’s see which of us can earn more money in this round… Huh?” I turned around, excited, only to find that Marie was already seated, a needle in one hand as she started chipping away at a candy board with a picture of a tulip on it. “Keep quiet, Seto,” she said coldly, not even looking up at me, her face deadly serious. “So, Big Bro, which one are you going for?” “Ah! Oh, um, I’ll take this one, please.” I pointed at the boatlike design, paid the entry fee for both of us to the man, and sat down on a plastic sake-bottle case they were using for a seat. The tent, illuminated by bare lightbulbs hung from the ceiling, was a lot brighter than it looked from the outside. I didn’t notice until I was inside, but it seemed like the sun was starting to get pretty low in the sky. “Okay, here you go! And are you two competing against each other? Ha-ha! I like it! Youth in all its glory! I’ll make sure neither of you start cheating!” “Ha-ha-ha! Well, go easy on me.” I averted my eyes from the boss, lest the glinting from his pearly whites blind me, and took a peek at Marie’s work next to me. I had expected her to pick something like a tulip, but it must have been pretty high on the difficulty scale. The price set on it was 600 yen—six times more than the top, which I saw one boy have considerable difficulty with. It must’ve required a lot of skill to cut out. Meanwhile, I had selected the 200-yen boat. Not worth nearly as much. But if she broke that tulip, she’d make exactly zero yen off that. I figured the 200-yen level of difficulty was about the most that any regular person was capable of. “Hey, that’s not fair,” one of the boys exclaimed. Well, no duh it’s unfair. Shut up a second, will you? I’m short on money here. Either way, I had to start carving this thing. Grabbing a nearby needle, I threw myself into my work. Slowly, carefully, I followed the faint outlines of the picture as I scratched away. This was kind of addictive, actually. But, as I realized now that I was actually doing it, these candy boards were hyper-fragile. Apply the wrong amount of force to the wrong section, and it’d snap in half before you even knew what had happened. Too much power was bad, of course, but if you went too slowly, your focus quickly started to abandon you. Amid the tense environment, I kept my mind clear, running my needle up and down. Then there was a light cheer from across the tent, although everyone tried to keep their voices down. Instinctively, I looked to my side, then reared back in horror. Nearly all of the excess candy board was already carved off of Marie’s tulip; she had just one piece to chip off before she was done. As I watched her chiseled, intense features from the side, she looked like a knight in battle, sharp as a knife, her eyes practically drilling themselves into the tulip. It was like watching a master woodworker on the job. …Oh crap. I just broke my concentration. I had known that Marie had a thing for little side jobs she could do at home, but I’d had no idea her talents could be applied with such astounding success here, too. Meanwhile, my ship was at the point where you could just barely make out the outline of the sail. It wouldn’t be setting off on the seven seas anytime soon. Of course, if Marie got her tulip done, finishing up this ship would be pointless anyway. Ugh. Who the hell even picked this stupid old ship for 200 yen? Oh. It was me. Ahhh, she’s about to chip off the last remaining piece from her tulip… That tulip… My ship… The tulip… Snap. “Ah,” I grunted like an idiot, as the tent was shrouded in an uncomfortable silence. There, as I stood next to Marie and was watched over by the other kids, my hand slipped, cutting my ship’s sail neatly in half. And right there, on the table, was Marie’s tulip, its petals in full and magnificent bloom. “Ooooh!!” Marie and the boys whooped their approval at almost the same time. The boss was there, too, showing off those white teeth of his as he gave Marie a round of applause. The tension was gone. I looked down at my incomplete masterpiece and let out a scornful laugh. It was almost beautiful, so total a loss it was. “L-look! Seto! I won, right?” “Ahhh! C-careful! You need to give it back to the boss for it to count!” I put a hand on Marie’s shoulder before she leaped into the air, the tulip in one hand. Then I led her carefully to the proprietor. He gave it a broad nod, took six 100-yen coins out from his plastic cash box, and handed them to her with as much pomp and circumstance as possible, as if they were a mighty trophy. “I haven’t seen a carving job like that in a while! Looks like your little scheme backfired on you, huh, Big Bro?” Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Thus, our first round ended with Marie taking the title. I spent the next little while watching Marie give some carving tips to the other kids before we left the tent, searching for our next game. The lingering sweet taste of victory made Marie notably lighter in her step. I practically had to chase after her. “Ooh, that was fun!” She waved both fists in front of her as she turned back toward me, squealing with excitement. “A stand as exciting as that… These fireworks shows are so great, Seto!” “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting it to be that fun, either. If you liked it that much, we could’ve spent some more time in there, you know?” I tried to act casual with the suggestion. But she wasn’t having any of it. “No, that’s okay. We have a promise, too.” Ugghh… The katanuki game was cheap enough, and we had spent enough time there that I figured she’d be ready to abandon the idea. But that’s exactly the kind of thing that she’s a huge stickler for. Well, can’t break a promise for no reason. Better get myself together and find our next battle arena. Man, though… Tasting defeat in the first battle was something I hadn’t even dreamed of. And here I’d been thinking about how I’d go kind of easy on her, so I didn’t make her all grumpy. Talk about oblivious. I hated myself for it now. Oh, why did I have to make that promise without fully thinking it through? Still, here we were. I had to do everything possible to keep from losing the next round. If our home finances took any more damage, we’d seriously be reduced to miso soup starting tomorrow—and that applied to Marie, too, of course. I had to dominate the next round, for her sake. Such were my thoughts as I strolled through the crowded aisle of stands, pulling Marie along. This was the first time in practically my entire life that I’d waded through a throng like this, but thanks in part to my height, it wasn’t much of a bother to me. I had a commanding view of the area, letting me scope out most of the stands. Hopefully, one of them would stick out to me… “…What’s that?” I immediately stopped. There, as the aisle curved to the right, I found a rectangular building made from a shipping container that looked terribly out of place. Most of the tents, despite their different colors and décor, were basically the same by design, but this huge container, looming large like it belonged here year-round, looked positively bizarre by comparison. Looking more closely, I saw the container was spray-painted in a camouflage pattern, like a tank summoned from some battlefield. It wasn’t exactly an elegant-looking edifice. “Wow, what kind of place is that…? Huh? Marie?!” As the container took my attention for a moment, Marie disappeared without any warning at all. Oh no. Did she run off to something else that grabbed her interest? If we get separated in this crowd, how will I find her? She doesn’t have a phone… My heart began to beat faster, an uncomfortable sweat running down my whole body. She couldn’t be that far yet. I’d better find her soon, or… “…Salute! Wait, did I get it wrong? …Salute!” There she is. She was in front of the camo container, carrying on with a couple of people in military fatigues. I suppose she was trying to salute, but the pose she took made her look like she was making a stupid selfie face. “No, not quite that, ma’am. Adjust the angle of your hand here… Ah! That’s it! Salute!” The two men gave sharp salutes as they enthusiastically guided Marie through the process. I supposed they were running the container, and they didn’t seem like bad people, but between the uniforms and their tension, they couldn’t have been a worse fit for this festival. “Uhmm… I’m sorry if this kid here’s bothering you…” I wasn’t trying to, of course, but I wound up looking like I was Marie’s guardian, I’m sure. “Oh! Seto!” she said, noticing me and blithely gesturing for me to join her. “A-ha! Are you this fine young woman’s brother? I was concerned that she had become separated from someone like you, sir!” He didn’t look too concerned…but I’m sure this was their own inscrutable way of expressing it. I figured I ought to believe it. “That’s right. I took my eyes off her for a moment, and she was gone. Ha-ha-ha… Okay, Marie, let’s go.” I turned around on the spot. Better not to get too involved with guys like these. Let’s take Marie and get out of here. Right. So I grabbed Marie’s hand, but the moment I was about to set off, I found my legs refusing to carry out the order. Turning around, I saw Marie pulling at my hand, pointing at the container and trying to tell me something. There was an imposing-looking metallic sign above the door to the building, some kind of weather-aging process having been applied to it. It must have been the name of the place written on it. The red text on black metal was hard to read, but there was just enough sunlight left to make it out. HEADPHONE ACTOR: RETURN OF THE DANCER …? “They said they’re a Headphone Actor stand! Let’s do round two in here, Seto!” “Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?! No, this is totally, totally bad news, Marie! This place is really scary, all right? You don’t like scary things, Marie; you know that. Right? Right?!” “I’m all right today. I can do it.” “Two new recruits, sir! Salute!!” “Salute!!” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!” “…So this is a fairly simple shooting game, sir. If you don’t know the controls, I can run through them again for you.” “Um, okay.” It was actually pretty normal. There must have been a basic AC unit attached to the container we were led through. Considering how it looked from the outside, it was actually pretty customer-friendly indoors. With that exterior, I had been more than a bit leery—there had been no telling what kind of crazed world was waiting for me. Now, I realized, there was nothing to worry about. I felt silly for carrying on like that. “What a wimp, Seto.” Marie made her disappointment in me crystal clear as she gave me a look. “W-well, what do you want from me? A crazy-looking setup like this, you’d have to be weird to just jump right inside…” “Aw, come on! It’s more fun to do stuff you haven’t done before…” She puffed out her cheeks to admonish me as she worked the controller in her hand. Apparently this Headphone Actor was a competitive shooting game. We were both seated in front of a pair of tall, black tables, each with a wireless video-game controller placed on it. Behind these was a simple screen, the projector behind us set up to display the game on it. None of this really jibed with the traditional Japanese festival experience, but maybe this sort of thing was more common nowadays. I hadn’t heard much talk about it, but… Regardless of the first impression they gave, though, the guys in the combat fatigues were actually pretty nice. They both had regular jobs outside Tokyo, they said, but after running into this game a couple years earlier, they just hadn’t been able to get it out of their minds. This stand of theirs was something of a lifelong dream come true for them. They hadn’t developed the game themselves, but they had the permission of the original creators. All of this they told me with obvious glee, so I couldn’t help but get caught up in the excitement a little. They did spend about half of their intro gabbing about that instead of explaining the controls to me, though, which was a tad annoying. “See an enemy, push the button… See an enemy, push the button…” Marie repeated the mantra to herself, trying to digest what the combat soldiers had told her. Dahhh, Marie is just so cute sometimes. Too bad we’re enemies here. I grabbed the controller on the table and spent a moment coming to grips with it. Really, it had been years since I played a video game. My dad liked them a lot, so sometimes we used to play something together with the whole family, but my big sister was crazy good at them, so I don’t recall ever having much fun. Sometimes Kano would challenge me to something or other, but neither of us was the type to really care who won and who lost, so we’d just get distracted by something else halfway through. So, looking back, I don’t remember ever winning a match, but I guess I had some experience. If they had this setup at a festival, I was sure the game was geared for the general public—I was sure I’d catch up with it quickly enough. Against Marie, who had never played anything before, I had the clear advantage. I could win this. I would win this. …Man, I’m starting to sound really selfish, aren’t I? That wasn’t good. “All right, you two, are you ready?” My heart began to accelerate at this final question. “Uh-huh. Anytime.” “Oh, me too. All set.” The lights dimmed in the room as the game’s opening sequence finally appeared on-screen. The silhouette of a creepy-looking cityscape appeared behind the Headphone Actor logo. Once each of us had pressed the START button, the game shifted to the difficulty-selection screen. “…Um, which one should I select?” “You can choose any level you like, sir! Personally, I would recommend…” Ding! With a peppy sound effect, the screen faded to black. Huh? But I didn’t press anything. If someone selected a level for me… “Here we go. Concentrate!” It was her. The hunter. Marie’s eyes were in full hunter mode. Hurriedly, I steadied my hands on the controller as the on-screen words “GAME START” burned themselves into my eyes. The moment they did, an impossibly huge number of enemies overflowed onto the screen, spreading utter havoc. “Aaaaaaaaahhhh!! What the…! What’s with this thing?!” I helplessly jabbed at the buttons, the fanciful-looking enemies leaping around with apparent ease to dodge my shots. Then, as they lurched their way toward me, those whimsical bad guys bared horrifyingly sharp fangs that didn’t seem to match them at all, chowing down on my player character. It was nothing but pure horror. This wasn’t a game for the masses. This was a game meant to kill the masses. The insane difficulty level was about to make me hyperventilate when I heard a cheerful voice next to me say, “What do you think? Nothing’s more thrilling than the hardest level!” Yes, sir. Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it. Damn it. Of course, if I was struggling this much, it had to be even more traumatic for Marie. I was a little nervous about taking my eyes off my character, but—really—I was just pressing the SHOOT button repeatedly without hitting anything. So I left my character alone and looked at Marie’s character, on the left side of the partitioned screen. Over in her area, things were…well, pretty gruesome. In the opposite way. “They…they’re stopped…” The enemies rushing toward Marie all stopped at once—then, as Marie murmured little grunts like “oof” and “gotcha,” their heads all got shot off. Unable to run, unable to defend themselves, her foes let out plaintive screams as they died. It was pitiful, is the only way to put it. “Mmm? Is this a bug?” one of the camo soldiers asked the other. “Perhaps. But this is fun, too, is it not?” Ah. Great. Well, as long as everybody’s having fun, then whoopee. Sorry I asked. As I gaped at the screen, the word “FINISH” flashed across it. The results didn’t need to be explained in detail. It was like night and day. “Whew! …Oh? Seto? Wow, it looks like you didn’t do very good…” Marie frowned, looking a little guilty as she caught her breath. I suppose she’d had an eye on me the whole time. “Marieee… You used your ability, didn’t you? I can tell. Come on, look me in the eye for a sec…” “I—I wasn’t cheating. Really!” But Marie refused to look at me. Somebody’s stubbornness must’ve rubbed off on her. In terms of hard numbers, this was Marie’s second victory, but I thought it was a pretty clear violation of the rules—or the spirit of the game, at least. But there was no point bickering inside the container about it, so I stood up. “Daahh… Well, let’s just go outside and talk a little. I can’t believe you, using your ability for something like…this…?” After the results screen faded away, the game showed a list of high scores. Marie was way up at the top—probably a perfect game, I assumed. But the names below hers made me stop in my tracks. … … … “…Hmm? What’s wrong, Seto?” I couldn’t even breathe until Marie came jogging back to me, concerned. I was then buffeted by an intense bout of dizziness, my heart beating so fast that it was ready to explode. Why? What are their names doing on here? Was it just a coincidence? Or some kind of warning—a warning pointed at me, even as I tried to forget about it all? “I-I’m sorry! I’ll tell you the truth—I kind of cheated a little. That’s why you’re angry, isn’t it? Isn’t it, Seto…?” I didn’t answer her. Instead I violently seized her hand and shot out of the container. The soldiers behind us expressed concern about this, but I was in no shape to deal with them. “Seto! Look out! You have to walk slower, or…” I just had to get away from here. I worked my way through the crowds in a mad dash to find someplace free of other people. God damn it… It’s so hard to navigate around here… Their faces began to dance in my head. Their eyes were glassy, inorganic, as they attacked me with everything they had. No. This is just my imagination. I can’t get caught up in it. I already decided I’d forget all about it. Just keep going. All these people in the way. Keep going. I need to get myself out of here…! “What’s with them? Are they running from something?” “…?!” …I heard a voice. I definitely heard it just now. “Whoa, that guy looks like a freak. Somebody better call the police.” Stop it. “Oh, for real? This dude’s the last thing I need my girl looking at right now. This is supposed to be our first date!” Shut up, shut up… “Man, just go with the flow and quit running all over us! I swear, some people just don’t give a crap about anyone but themselves…” Stop! Shut up, shut up, shut up!! My right foot slammed against the ground. There was no reining in my ability now. If anything, “stealing” was picking up more voices than it ever had before, all marching right into my head in order. I tried my best to force them out, my skull feeling like it’d crack, as I kept moving forward. Gotta get out of here. Gotta get somewhere empty of people. Gotta get Marie away…away somewhere far…! “Wow! Running in the middle of this huge crowd? What is he, nuts?” I ran. “Hey! Did that guy just bump into me and not say anything? Well, screw you, too, asshole!” I just ran. “Ha! Guy looks like he’s running for his life. What’s some dude freaking out by himself about at this fireworks show?” …By himself? “…Ow!” I lost my footing, and my leg got tangled up against something, the resulting momentum smashing my body against the ground. I screamed out at the pain, the suffocation, and the venom-laden “voices” that constantly showered themselves upon me. Laughter, contempt, and indifferent desires for my immediate death flew into my brain from all directions, scrambling my mind. I had to keep my hands from plucking out my eyes—the home of that hateful ability of mine. That was how painful it was as I barely managed to stand up and look around. It was just all people, people, people. An ocean of people giving me confused stares, eyes darting all over the place. But… “She’s gone…!” I knew I’d had her by the hand. I’d never felt it slip away from me. So why wasn’t Marie here? I focused my mind on the voices, ready to die trying if I had to, but I just couldn’t spot Marie’s out of them all. Was I missing her, somehow? No way. There was no way I could ever miss that girl’s voice. …What if Marie had just disappeared, though? “…No.” No. Marie would never use that. She hadn’t even realized it yet. There’s no way she’d do something like use Kido’s ability. No. Quit thinking about it. You promised yourself that you’d forget all about it. So please…please don’t remember any of it… The voices that echoed across the evening’s darkness went around and around, singing in circles like a swarm of cicadas. In the middle of this living hell, I tied what was left of my conscious thought to my memories of her, and her alone. Marie, Marie… Oh, poor Marie. I didn’t care if I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t care if she forgot about everything. I just wanted to do whatever she couldn’t handle. If she could just stay the same as always—stay that same way forever—I wouldn’t want anything else. If she didn’t have go through any more trauma like this, I’d happily become a liar or a criminal for her. Whether it was a lie, or a fantasy, or whatever, I wanted to keep this day-to-day life going before it all came apart. I’d gladly forget about her long hair, or her lost friends, or about this entire summer, for her sake. Why do you have to be so unfair, God? You’re the only one that noticed, aren’t you? For years now, I’ve placed the voices of my friends under the cries of the cicadas. I’ve known since practically forever that they can never get out of this summer. So I wasn’t going to agonize over it anymore. I’d decided that I’d take this future that you thoughtlessly threw me into, and dedicate everything about it to that girl. I’ll never let that girl be alone. That is where I’ll find my happiness.
Chapter 124
24 min read