What the hell?! That’s horrible! Bullying young brides is never okay, you old hag! Being an imperial princess is no excuse!
There was one thing my mother always repeated: “Become the empress.”
To her mind, if I rose to the top, even grandmother would have to kneel to me. Then, I would finally be able to do whatever I wished.
“You must meet the prince and become his bride, no matter what,” she’d said, again and again. Inevitably, tears would start rolling down her cheeks, and she’d whisper, “Please, free me from this cage...”
I’d been forced to watch her beautiful face—almost a mirror to my own—grow more haggard with every passing day.
That’s why you were so hell-bent on marrying the prince? I’m sorry I judged you so harshly.
By the time I’d turned ten, mother, who’d always had a weak body, was so ill that she could barely rise from her bed. I’d spent most of my time by her bedside, and the rest I spent staring out the window of my room. For the most part, I watched the trees change color as the seasons went by or our few servants as they’d busied themselves with work. However, on rare occasions, another group walked past the residence.
Their appearance was the only thing I’d looked forward to. I hadn’t known why they’d sometimes take this path—hunting, I’d supposed—but one of them always caught my eye. He’d been a very lovely boy with hair the color of pale blue delphiniums, barely older than I was. No child had ever visited the residence, and I couldn’t help but think he stood out amid the party of rugged men. I never understood why, but he always looked my way.
Wow, I feel bad for your brother. He must have longed to see your mother, but with that witch forbidding him from doing so, the best he could do was wander close enough to steal a glimpse of her. On top of that, he didn’t even get to! God, I hate your grandma!
Then, half a year ago, my drab yet peaceful life was shattered out of the blue.
A messenger from the main house had suddenly arrived and announced that father had died in an unfortunate accident. As if following behind him, grandmother had passed soon after. The new duke, the messenger said, had ordered us brought to the main house at once.
Before we knew it, mother and I had been forced into a carriage without any thought spared for her frail body. I did my best to comfort her through the pain, though I was shaken by the unfamiliar sway of the carriage. By the time we’d reached the duke’s residence, she was burning up, barely conscious.
As soon as the butler saw her, his face paled, and he admonished the messenger—but the damage had been done. The butler quickly bid that she be carried into a room, and he sent for a doctor. As I watched her, lying on the luxurious sheets, I’d known the end was near. She’d begun to resemble a corpse.
That was when my brother barged into the room. At that time, I didn’t realize it was him. The man who’d appeared had been so tall and mature, his monocle adding to his stern atmosphere, that I’d assumed he was an adult far older than I was.
Mother’s eyes widened at the sight of him, and tears welled up in her eyes.
“You finally came for me...Lord Aleksandr...” she whispered.
The name that had rolled past her lips was father’s.
The man froze for a second, stunned. Then he answered softly, “I’m so sorry...Anastasia.”
Those had been my mother’s last moments. My brother never heard her speak his name. Not even at the end.
Ugh, I’m gonna cry! That must’ve been awful for him.
You’re right. Deep down, I always knew that my brother was the one who’d suffered the most.
Despite that, he’d continued to carry out his duty to perfection. He’d swiftly organized a grand funeral for our mother even as he’d kept the duchy’s affairs running. The way he’d handled everything had been so mature that I could hardly believe he was only two years older than I was.
Brother must have felt pity for me because he was exceptionally kind. He’d arranged a lavish room and beautiful clothing for me, and he had appointed an array of servants to tend to my needs. Compared to my time at the secondary residence, I was treated like a princess. Even after he’d returned to the capital, my brother often wrote to me, always asking whether there was anything I needed or wanted.
I never properly answered him. At every turn, I’d return his gifts and spurn his kindness. Silence hung heavy over me like a stifling shawl during our trip to the capital, despite his numerous attempts to converse with me.
You might not have known it, but you must’ve been testing his limits. I’ve heard that abused children often behave that way, fumbling for proof that someone can truly be trusted...or not.
I knew that what I was doing wasn’t right but whenever I’d tried to speak to him, I’d remember my mother’s last words. A cold anger, as dark and deep as an unknown sea, would take me over in those moments.
Did you blame him because your mother’s last words were to him? Even though she mistook him for your father?
I’m sure that mother never needed me.
Grandmother, father, and mother...they’d all needed him, not me.
What use am I?
Ah, you’re spiraling. I won’t lie to you; some parents don’t care one iota about their kids. I’m sure aristocratic families are even worse in that regard, since they favor their firstborn sons so much. I get why you’re pissed, Ekaterina. But the root of all evil was your awful grandma, right? I don’t know what your father was like, but your brother and mother are both victims, just like you! Here’s an idea. Write that old hag’s name on a piece of paper and trample it with a fancy pair of stilettos! Kick the paper until you get all of that rage out! Taking it out on your brother is making you hurt even more, isn’t it? You’re a kind girl deep down, I can tell.
Stilettos? Ha ha ha! Thank you, I think. But...who are you?
I’m not entirely sure but...I think I’m you?
The world around me burst open like a popped bubble, and I suddenly opened my eyes. The first things I saw were the heavens and the celestial gods gazing down at me.
Huh? Am I in heaven? No, it’s just a canopy. A gorgeous one, though. Almost looks like a master from the Renaissance painted it. Is this some celebrity’s mansion?
What in the world am I thinking? And where am I?
“Ekaterina!”
I gasped, but as Ekaterina turned toward the voice and saw the person who’d called her name, she relaxed.
I, on the other hand, was taken aback.
What the hell?! He’s so damn handsome!!! I’ve never seen someone so fine in the flesh! Actually, I don’t even think I’ve ever seen a hottie like him on TV! He’s so my type, I could die!
The man sitting by Ekaterina’s bedside was none other than her older brother and my total fave: Alexei Yulnova. He was even more good-looking than in the game, from the way the light caught his soft blue hair and eyes to the glint of his trademark monocle.
I gawked, unable to stop myself, at his smooth light skin and at the fascinating color of his eyes. Their almond shape gave him an air of cleverness, and they gleamed like Paraiba tourmalines, as though they weren’t simply reflecting light but emitting it—almost like neon. His straight nose and pale lips were perfect, just like the rest of him. Even if you interrogated me for a whole day, I couldn’t name someone with more elegantly balanced features.
As a woman nearing thirty, I couldn’t help but be blinded by the way his youthfulness combined with the mature and angular charm of an adult man. While he was still young, he wasn’t cute like a boy anymore. He was handsome like a man.
I’m way overanalyzing his looks, aren’t I?
“How are you feeling? Are you sore?” Alexei asked. “I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you too.”
The pain in his voice, far sharper than her own, returned Ekaterina to her senses.
Ah, I hurt my brother again.
In crisis lies opportunity! This is your chance to improve your relationship! Lean on him like a fledgling foal, it’s sure to make him happy!
What did I...just think...?
Uh-oh. Our personalities are like oil and water, so we’re both thinking at the same time!
My head hurts.
Before I knew it, Ekaterina had brought one hand to her forehead.
“Ekaterina, do you need me to summon a doctor? Just nod and I will. Answer me, please!”
I need to reassure him, but I’ve been so stubborn for so long! I don’t know how to talk to him anymore.
In that case, how about we move that hand to the side a li’l bit?
I moved the hand that had been lying on Ekaterina’s forehead. It fell to the side of the bed, almost as though she was extending it for her brother to take.
Alexei opened his eyes wide. He noticed that her hand was trembling slightly and immediately held it between his.
His hands are so big. And so warm. It feels nice...
Ekaterina rolled onto her side, locking eyes with Alexei.
“Brother, I’m so sorry...for worrying you.”
Alexei blinked, dumbfounded for a moment, before smiling softly. It was plain to see that he was happy.