Chapter 108

“Well, forget about other women for now. What do you think of me?” “I’m thinking you’re even more trouble than I’ve been told.” “Then I’ll tell you about me. All the ways I’m troublesome.” “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” I couldn’t hold back anymore and ended up just yelling. “Haru?!” Chitose sounded taken aback. Oh, I guess he didn’t know he was on speaker. “And you! Hang up! Stop flirting!” “You’re the ones who called me…” “Oh, come on,” Mai grumbled. “Listen, right now I’m here with Haru, playing a practice game against some alumni she really admires. But it’s not going that well. Whisper some words of love to her like you did back then, Saku.” “Ma-iii!” As I panicked, Mai held the phone out toward me with a smug look on her face, as if to say, “All done.” “Um… The thing is… Ugh, don’t listen to her…” I needed to say something, throw him off… But I couldn’t get the words out. If I said anything, it’d come out as a squawk. If he comforted me now, I’d be relying on him again, and my heart would drift even farther from the court. Why was Mai, from No Boyfriends Allowed Ashi High, doing this…? “Hey, Haru.” Chitose was saying my name more softly than usual, like he’d picked up on something. “Are you smiling right now?” “Eh…?” I wasn’t expecting him to ask that, and I ended up sounding stupid in my response. A soft sigh emanated from the phone. “Remember what you told me back then? Smile. Don’t look so defeated.” I felt a bittersweet sensation, as if my throat was tightening. Right… He was listening back then. I was able to give him a boost while he was fighting all alone… Chitose chuckled. “There you are with some older girls you admire and your biggest rival, right? The partner I know would be feasting right now.” …Ugh, this guy… Always giving me the words I need, when I need them. I can never talk myself into the right headspace. But when he says it, I immediately feel so much lighter. Chitose was silent for a little while, and then, with some embarrassment, he said… “Also…I like y— I mean, I think my most favorite version of you is when you’re enjoying basketball.” Beep… Without thinking, I ended the call. Never mind saying sorry or thank you. I’d do that later. My heart was thundering. The blood was rushing through my whole body, and I felt like I was on fire. What is this? What now? No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get out of my funk. Mai watched me with a grin and a raised eyebrow. “Hmm? Is that what love is?” “Shut up. Dummy. Don’t look at me.” Calm down, calm down. He was just on the verge of saying “I like you.” Although I know he didn’t mean that kind of like. Argh! This is why I didn’t want to talk to him! I knew this would happen! We’re still in the middle of a game, but now all I can think about is him… “What are you doing? Playing house?” I looked up to find Suzu glaring down at me. “Making phone calls to a guy during the game? You’re really not engaged in this at all, are you?” “Sorry, it was…” Aki, standing beside her, cut me off midsentence. “I’m not talking about Mai here. Sure seems like things have changed at Fuji High. All we thought about for three years was basketball, so we didn’t have any relationships to go all crazy over.” She was smiling again, maybe because we weren’t playing right now, but there was something sarcastic in her gaze. Oh no… The senior girls think I suck, too… Any excitement I’d felt from talking to Chitose drained away. I looked down, saying nothing, and Suzu continued in a mocking tone. “Well, I’m not going to get involved in the romance of a high schooler, but at least choose a more intelligent guy. ‘Smile? Enjoy basketball?’ What kind of crappy advice is that? But I guess a half-hearted player would go for a bland guy, huh?” “What…?” What did she just say? “Those are the words of someone who’s never put his heart and soul into anything.” Hey! Hold on a minute! “All right, I think that’s enough of a break. Miss Misaki, let’s finish this quickly.” As I watched the backs of the retreating senior girls… I felt something snap inside me. I don’t mind being scolded or scoffed at. I know my playing today has sucked. I can own that. It’s no surprise if people think I don’t care enough about basketball. But… But… How dare she make fun of his philosophy?! She doesn’t know a goddamn thing about the relationship we built this summer!!! I felt a tingling all over, like every cell in my body was on fire. A surge of energy came from my toes to the tips of my fingers. I threw away the sports towel I had around my neck and leaped to my feet. Fists clenched tightly, I glared at the senior girls. “Ooh!” Mai made a small sound of delight. I know, what Suzu said wasn’t all that bad. It was my fault for showing weakness. But didn’t I promise? His dream ended halfway—so I’d bring it to the finish line. Okay, so right now I’m confused, torn between basketball and love, unable to focus on either. I may just be fooling myself, thinking I can compete with the senior girls and Mai. Maybe I am naive. Maybe I haven’t figured it all out yet. But… I love seeing him light up with a bat in his hand. I love how he smiles in the face of adversity. I love how he does his best to the end, never giving up. So I’m gonna prove it. The fire you gave to me is alive and well inside me! I haven’t really figured out how I want to live my life, but there’s a sun that’s filled it with light. “Mai!” I slammed my fist against my heart. “These are not seniors I look up to. Now they’re enemies in my way! I’m gonna knock ’em on their asses!” Mai grinned. “All righty. Hey, let’s do that Fuji High pre-game hype thing.” Oh yeah, Mai mentioned she really liked it, and she made me teach it to her. I turned to Mai, and we placed our hands on each other’s shoulders. Then I stamped. “Are you in love?” “We’re in love!” Mai stamped, too. “Is that love real?” “It’s in our blood!” “Then light a fire in your heart!” “We won’t just wait around!” “If you want a man?” “Hold him close!” “If he doesn’t care?” “Knock ’im down!” “We are…” ““Fighting girls!!!”” We stamped our feet fast and hard, like a drumbeat. Then we slapped hands in a high-five, and both ran to the center circle. We scattered, leaving Miss Misaki to do the toss-up, and Aki muttered something with a hint of a nostalgic smile. “The pre-game chants haven’t changed.” “Well, we like them.” “Miss Misaki thought them up.” “Oh, did she?” I didn’t know about that because when I joined the club, it was already in regular use. I was a little taken aback. The chants were so passionate and kinda ballsy. Not what I’d expect from Miss Misaki. Aki continued, her voice cooling. “From me to Kei, and from Kei to you, Umi… We may not come from a fancy basketball school like Ashi, but we’re not to be underestimated. People are counting on you, so it’s important to be able to shoulder that weight.” Suzu said something similar earlier, and I’d thought I understood. But what kind of captain was she? How did she lead her team? “Aki, when you play, your usual expression disappears, doesn’t it?” I said. When I said this, she responded without even an eyebrow twitch. “I don’t want to telegraph anything on my face.” Hmm, that made sense. It’s true that you can’t read Aki’s thoughts from her facial expressions or eyeline while she’s playing. But, I thought, steadying myself… “The players I respect smile.” Then I showed my teeth and kicked off against the floor. “Miss Misaki!” I dodged my mark and grabbed the ball. Aki was trying to stick close to me, but I slid around her, took a second to check Mai’s position, and started running. “Hyah!” I hadn’t forgotten the way they tore me apart in the first half. The amazing playing of my seniors was burned into my mind. Skreek! Parallel to Aki, I hit the brakes and made a pass to Mai, who’d escaped her mark ahead. “Not bad. Very fluid. I thought you were going to dribble and rush the basket again,” said Aki. “Thanks,” I replied, but I was already running. Mai passed to Miss Misaki, who passed to me again. I was one-on-one with Aki inside the three-point line. This was my domain. I can get the ball down the court, but I can’t break through the defense as easily. Holding the ball, I won a few seconds of space, then took a half step back and went into my shooting stance. Aki jumped to block me without hesitation. It was playing out as it did in the first half, but… I tossed the ball without looking. “Hng!” At the same time, Aki’s eyes widened in surprise. “Nice!” I could hear Mai; she must have caught my pass. Yes, I did it! I’ve always thought this kind of passing is the domain of players like Nana and Aki; it requires a bird’s-eye view of things, the ability to evaluate what’s going on when there are ten players. Of course, that’s all still important, but just because I pulled it off in a 3v3 game, I wasn’t going to assume I’d mastered the technique myself. But one thing I’ve noticed from watching Aki is that she’s always checking on the positions of the other nearby players even before she gets the ball. This is just my guess, but I think that by constantly updating that mental map, you can predict to some extent how your teammates will behave in any given situation. So that’s how Aki already knows whether she should dribble or pass the moment the ball touches her hands. Plus, relying on that mental map, you don’t have to stare at the person you’re passing to the whole time. It’s more like scanning the court as a whole and using peripheral vision. Just now, I knew that Mai was coming to help me when I got stuck, so I just tossed the ball blindly and trusted she’d be there to grab it. I didn’t expect it to be so successful on my first try, though… Man, basketball really is fun! Even though I’ve been playing since elementary school, there are still so many things I haven’t learned yet. If I can keep learning, I can go even higher. Just like him, swinging a wooden bat he wasn’t used to. Mai received my pass and took the shot, but it seemed like her shot connected with Suzu’s fingertips, and it bounced off the hoop. Miss Misaki grabbed it on the rebound and passed to me. I still hadn’t gotten past Aki cleanly since the game started. I looked at Mai, who was fighting for position under the goal. As soon as she got around Suzu and moved forward, I would pass. But Aki jumped up to cut off that route, so I seized the moment to get around her on the opposite side and keep moving forward. “Dammit!” I kept running, hearing my opponent tsking behind me. “Passing isn’t an escape route when you get stuck.” Aki’s words from earlier came back to me. Taken literally, I think it meant to work with your teammates and not just panic, but I’m sure that wasn’t the only thing she was trying to convey. For someone like me, who thrives on one-on-one situations, passing is like rolling and dribbling through my legs. In other words, it becomes one of the weapons necessary to outwit your opponent. If you have a player who’s only a threat during a drive, and a player who can also make sharp passes that directly lead to points, it goes without saying that the latter will be overwhelmingly difficult to defend against. The reason is very simple: You have to stay vigilant against whatever they’re going to do. Just now, because I’d made two passes earlier, Aki was easily lured by my fake-out. Swoosh. After shaking off Aki, I finally made my first shot. Passing isn’t bad. But this moment, when I get around my opponent and score a basket, it feels amazing. “Yesss!” I couldn’t help a small fist pump, and Aki’s neutral expression warmed a little. “Is the fire in your heart burning now?” “Yep!” Before I knew it, the misery that had been swirling in my chest had cleared up completely. Because you said you like me better like this. When things seem messy, focus on the strongest enemy in front of you, and deal with the rest later. …The score was 30 to 25 midway through the second half. Mai was improving every minute, and I was able to take more shots. We were narrowing the gap, little by little. But we were still far from victory. Every time we got one step closer, they’d push us back. If we don’t catch up now, we’ll end up trailing all the way to the end of the game. As I was thinking about this, Suzu, who’d switched with Aki and was now marking me, gave a brief snort. “You sure seem perkier now. Being encouraged by a man really got you going, huh?” I chuckled. “A long time ago, my partner said something to me. She said, ‘I don’t wanna lose to the kind of woman who’s too proud to ask a guy for help.’ I think I understand a little of what she meant.” Suzu flexed her knees and brushed back her super-short hair. “Hmm. Bland man and bland partner.” Still smiling, I looked her right in the eye. “You’re going to eat those words, and the ones from earlier, too. I’m gonna wipe the floor with you.” Miss Misaki threw the ball to Mai, and with that as the signal, we all started running. Suzu wasn’t as fast on her feet as Aki, so I went ahead and received the pass from Mai. I quickly carried the ball to the three-point line, stopped there, and adjusted my stance while I kept dribbling. Suzu slipped between me and the hoop and hunkered down. “You making fun of me, kid? You could have shot then.” “Maybe we’ve both been making fun of each other,” I shot back, manipulating the ball with ease. “Shall we clarify things?” “Bring it on!” No passes, no tricks at this point. It was a one-against-one battle with our pride as women at stake. I’d show her how I could sink it fair and square. I let the tension flow from my body. I recalled the feeling I’d had when I’d competed against Mai. Chitose swinging the bat, his movements as graceful as Japanese dance. I copied what Suzu did before and did a subtle feint, using just my eyeline and my center of gravity. Slowly, and then… Skreek! One burst of movement, all my power concentrated… I controlled the ball with my right hand and set up a drive using my off-hand as a shield. Naturally, Suzu saw what I was doing and reacted as well, and we collided, but Miss Misaki called no foul. “Guh!” Defending with my off-hand, I thought, She’s strong. I’m hardly weak, but against someone equally trained and taller than me, I’m always the one who gets dominated. So maybe… I could still feel the jab of Suzu’s arm against my flesh. Deeper, sharper, more fine-tuned. Polish it up. Polish it up. At that moment, the sound disappeared from the court, and I felt as if everything around me was moving in slow motion. The position of the ball as I dribbled with my right hand, the pressure I was exerting with my off-hand, and Suzu’s arm blocking my course—I felt it all, through my fingertips. Suzu had shown me what to do through her playing style. I ducked as low as I could, like I was readying for a dive into a pool. Rather than competing head-on with a tall opponent… Swoop. I’d let my power flow… Creating a path with my off-hand, I slipped under Suzu’s arm. “Are you kidding me?!” Yep. I’m small, shrimpy, and agile, so this is the better option for me. “If you’re the ace, I feel sorry for your team.” I understand now. I think, then, Suzu was struck by that thing I said: “I’m hoping to learn a lot from you today.” Is it okay to be so humble in the face of the enemy? If you’re an ace, show what you’re made of. Crush your opponent, no matter who they are. Thinking back on my own attitude… Ugh. But I certainly have learned. Now I know how to eat my opponents alive. Right, Suzu? Swoop. I made a layup, then pointed a finger at Suzu. “First point.” Now the score was 30 to 27. We were within range! She smiled, but there was a wolflike snarl in it. “All right, Umi. I’m about to remind you who’s older and more experienced, so prepare yourself.” I felt like I was floating on air. Just then, a large hand slapped me playfully on the back. “You finally broke through, Umi.” “Miss Misaki…” I think she was talking about more than getting past Suzu. Miss Misaki, who’d stayed on the sidelines until now, gave me a mischievous smile. “Now then, it’s war from here on out. We have to show your seniors who’s boss, don’t we?” A little ways away, Aki yelled with a smile in her voice. “Try not to get overexcited! You need to watch your health at your age.” “Huh? Switch with me, Todo. I’m marking Aki now.” “Sure, Misaki.” As they passed each other, Miss Misaki whispered something to Mai. After confirming that everyone was ready, Kei threw in the ball. Aki grabbed it, turned, and started dribbling fast on the attack. She was as quick as ever, but Miss Misaki could keep up. I ran on the left side while marking Suzu. Aki slowed down and paused, perhaps wary of Miss Misaki’s defense. She tends to try stealing the ball when she sees an opening. Swoop. As soon as there was a break in the tension, she slid her arm behind her back and made a pass without looking. The ball was directed to Kei, who was free on the right side. I gasped, but Miss Misaki simply grinned. “Gotcha.” Mai swooped in and stole the pass. Switching to defense, Miss Misaki kept grinning. “Aki, you’re obsessed with your no-look passes.” “…” “Also, Kei has a simple, shall we say naive, style.” “Hey, that’s mean!” From that short exchange, I could tell now what Miss Misaki said to Mai. Something like, “Leave Kei unmarked, and aim to steal where Suzu can’t see you.” And with Mai’s speed and flair, she was able to improvise. I see… You can exploit those blind spots, too… Yeah, nothing about that situation was forcing her to do a no-look pass. Mai made a layup, and the score was 30 to 29. All right. Time to finish this. I summoned all of my fighting spirit… “Umi, switch.” Miss Misaki came over to me. She was probably planning on marking Suzu this time so she could mentor all of her students. I nodded and went to mark Aki. “Kei, let’s go!” Suzu grabbed the ball enthusiastically and tried to make a quick attack, making skillful use of her off-hand, but… Stamp. After only a few feet, Miss Misaki stole the ball. “You’re so obsessed with your off-hand moves, your basic ball handling is poor! Haven’t you fixed that yet?” “Dammit!” She makes it sound easy, I thought… I bet Suzu was thinking the same thing. It’s true that using the off-hand too much can result in an offensive foul if you get it wrong, so it’s just a secondary technique in driving forward. If the player gets too distracted and loses control of the ball, your off-hand technique doesn’t mean anything. But Suzu’s dribbling wasn’t as bad as it could have been. We switched offense and defense again, and Miss Misaki passed the ball to Mai, who was free of her mark and could head directly to the basket. Suzu yelled as she chased after her. “Aki, go shore up the inside. Umi can’t do anything from there.” Aki nodded, dashing toward Mai. I bit my lip, thinking how she’d gotten a read on me in such a short amount of time. I was now outside the three-point line. If I was Nana or Mai, I’d just go for the basket… Shooting from the outside wasn’t something I had nailed down, so if I got the ball, I’d have two choices: return the ball to the inside, where the defense was thick, or rush for the basket myself. In that case, since I’m so short, I should focus on passing while guarding to make a three-pointer happen, but I’ve always been stubborn and stuck to making drives at the basket. On the left side, Mai was keeping the ball with amazing handling against Kei and Aki. She truly was an all-rounder. I could cry. Even girls blessed with height keep trying to aim higher. Mai called out, a confident look on her face. “Maybe I’ll put an end to this game right now.” Rolling the ball and moving back… “You look like you want this ball.” And she used her momentum to make a pass to me. I received the ball outside the three-point line. Darn it. She was right. I wanted it. “Hah, watch her crash and burn.” Suzu’s voice rang throughout the gym. As my seniors could tell, I was still immature. I was wavering between basketball and a boy, and because of that, I can’t dedicate my full passion to either. I try to get motivated, but by myself, I’ve been lost. I can’t see the future at all, I’m a different person from day to day, and I don’t have any medals to be proud of, but still… …I don’t want to lie to the boy I love. I grabbed the ball in both hands and bent my knees. Suddenly, I got a flashback of that home run of Chitose’s that I saw. What was it I thought at the time? I don’t want to go too far away from him. No… It’s different now. I can be me. I can fly as high as I want to fly. I’d catch up and show him that I was worthy of standing beside him. I braced my legs and flew. All I was focused on was the sensation of my fingertips, the shining rim of the hoop.