Bai Zhijing squatted in the woods with his schoolbag in his arms for over an hour, with his butt propped against a tree, and just squatted there without doing anything else.
He had never been wronged and wronged before. When Bai Zhijing ran out of the office, he thought he was going to cry. He didn't know if the wind had blown the tears back, but his eyes were dry, just like a tear Tears can't be squeezed out.
It's chest tightness and throat is very dry. It's uncomfortable, but I don't want to cry.
Perhaps it was because I shed too many tears a while ago, he cried when he promised to set up a small stall, he cried when his master was hospitalized, he cried when Feifei left... In comparison, Tian Lei seemed insignificant .
Bai Zhijing suddenly remembered which TV series he had watched before, in which the Omega actor with a gentle voice said with emotion that tears are like pearls, which can only be shed for cherished people.
At that time, he still used the sour line of joking with Song Baobei, but now he seems to understand the meaning a little bit.
Bai Zhijing smiled self-deprecatingly, promised that he always said that shedding tears is as easy as turning on the water from the faucet, and his tears are the most worthless in the world, why can't he cry at this time?
A bunch of little ants crawled across the mud ahead, and one of them naughtily crawled up Bai Zhijing's fingernails, even such a small animal dared to bully him.
Bai Zhijing's heart was depressed, he didn't know where a fire burst out, and he wanted to strangle this lifeless little ant, but just when he moved his fingertips, he seemed to remember something, and his eyes lost focus for a moment.
On the day of going to Yuelao Temple, Jing Feifei said under the lush Lianli tree that if there is a next life, then he will be a small animal, cats, dogs and birds, and small insects in the forest are also good, and he will be free for the rest of his life Comfortable.
Maybe he really turned into a little ant?
Bai Zhijing pursed his lips, picked up a leaf from his feet, and gently placed the ant that had gone the wrong way in a daze on the leaf.
The ant shook its tentacles, walked a few steps along the veins of the leaves, and soon melted into the yellow-black soil again.
"Hey, how about studying small insects here in broad daylight?" A voice came from the front, "Have you found any research findings? Are you going to publish a paper?"
Bai Zhijing raised his head and asked in surprise, "Father? Why are you here?"
He regretted it as soon as the words came out of his mouth. It's no wonder that the school leaders didn't call them parents when such a big incident happened.
Shang Chu looked impatient, and kicked a stone away from his feet: "Don't mention it, your teaching director called me eight times in half an hour. Fatty talk a lot of nonsense, I won't come again. I just bought it for [-] yuan The phone must be blown up by him."
"Oh..." Bai Zhijing licked his lips hesitantly, not knowing how to tell his father about it.
Has Shang Chu met the director?
What did the director and Tian Lei say?
Would his father believe that he hadn't done such a scandal?
It was like a small drum was set up in Bai Zhijing's chest, and the drumsticks made him flustered.
He lowered his head, looking at the string of little ants crawling in a row on the ground, and it was only then that he felt sour in his eyes.
Shang Chu knelt down in front of him and called out, "Jing'er..."
Bai Zhijing subconsciously clenched his schoolbag tightly, wanting to say "I don't have one", but he opened his mouth and found that his throat was so dry that no sound could be squeezed out.
"Hey, I'll go!" Shang Chu suddenly whispered, "Such a big dead butterfly!"
Bai Zhijing froze for a moment, and then noticed that the ant colony was carrying a dead butterfly, moving at a not-so-slow speed.
"It's pretty awesome," Shangchu whistled, took out his phone from his pocket, turned on the camera and took a photo, looking for an angle while muttering, "Go back and show it to Sir Bai, it's so cruel At the scene of the murder and transportation of corpses, their criminal investigation team hastened to dispatch the police, and they can’t even eat hot shit..."
Bai Zhijing blinked, amused by his father's operation, and burst out laughing with a "puchi".
"Laughed?" Shang Chu raised his eyebrows, "Now you know you're laughing? Aren't you making fun of yourself at home these days? You don't talk all day long, and you don't eat two bites of food. I almost thought you were being beaten by someone while walking The eminent monk has enlightened me, I will pack up my luggage tomorrow and go to the west to learn scriptures."
"No, I'm just..." Bai Zhijing's nose was sore, he raised his hand and rubbed his nose heavily, "I just didn't want to understand."
The case of Jing Feifei was personally handled by Bai Aize. Everyone said that this small matter of sesame and mung bean alarmed Sir Bai. After all, it was just an ordinary high school student's suicide, and it wasn't even a "case". Count it as an "accident".That is to say, it has become popular on the Internet for a few days because it has something to do with the words "gifted teenager", "single-parent family" and "domestic violence".
Only Bai Zhijing understood that Jing Feifei didn't commit suicide at all, he was killed by Jing Chengyong.
However, the murderer he identified did not receive any punishment, Bai Zhijing just couldn't figure out why this happened.
He began to feel that some of the rules set by this world were ridiculous, and he hadn't learned how to face it calmly, facing this world where only adults were qualified to set up rules.
Shang Chu stared at Bai Zhijing for two seconds, then suddenly smiled lightly, then raised his hand to rub his silly son's messy hair, without saying anything.
Bai Zhijing raised his eyes to look at Shang Chu, and felt particularly wronged for a moment, never felt wronged when other children snatched all the toffee from the kindergarten when he was a child.
"You don't explain to me, and you don't come to comfort me. My hair is falling out, and my gums are bleeding..."
He sniffed. In fact, he didn't understand that it was only natural for me to teach my son a lesson. Jing Chengyong didn't beat Jing Feifei to death, so he couldn't be sentenced.
Bai Zhijing understands everything, but he feels uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, the kind of uncomfortable that he can't cry when he cries too much, and hurts when he closes his eyes.
He admitted that he didn't understand Bai Aize and Shang Chu a little bit. They were both well-known figures in the police circle, but they couldn't bring the real perpetrators to justice.
"Jing'er," Shang Chu sighed softly, "Some things can only be dealt with by you, and that's fine."
Bai Zhijing shook his head and said in a low voice, "But I don't want to suffer."
His voice was very low, as if a gust of wind could blow it away.
Bai Zhijing didn't want to suffer, he just wanted to be like when he was a child, he would cry when he felt uncomfortable, and when he cried, someone would hug him, coax him and give him sweets.
He wanted to be like this all his life.
Shang Chu looked at the two spinners above Bai Zhijing's head, and there was some sourness in his eyes.
No one knows better than him how soft and kind-hearted his Jing Er is. He wasted too much when he was young, and his health was always poor when he was pregnant with Bai Zhijing. Not long after Bai Zhijing was born, they discovered that Xiao Zhijing was more afraid of pain than ordinary children, and later she really had a problem with unstable alpha hormones.
When Bai Zhijing was three years old, there was a rare meteor shower. Shang Chu wished that Bai Zhijing would be healthy. Bai Zhijing lay on the bed and giggled. Being old is also a blessing.
But his son seems to have gone too far.
The father and son remained silent for a long time, when Bai Zhijing suddenly said, "They said that Tian Lei and I cheated together."
"Your director told me," Shang Chu said calmly, "Did you cheat?"
"I didn't." Bai Zhijing rubbed his sore knee, "I didn't cheat."
"Okay, then there's no cheating, I'll take care of the matter over there." Shang Chu said it lightly, as if it wasn't such a big deal.
"Then don't you feel ashamed," Bai Zhijing stared at his dirty sneakers, "I thought I had improved, but it turned out to be fake..."
"Shame." Shang Chu said.
Bai Zhijing was startled, his ten fingers curled up slightly, he didn't know where to put his hands and feet.
"Look at your little daughter-in-law," Shang Chu said bitterly, "When you are bullied, you hide here and squat down to count ants. Tell me about your virtues, who did you learn from? What are you doing?" Where did Nasa Pojin go to Fang Jiewan all day long? Shame! What a fucking shame!"
Bai Zhijing suddenly raised his head, staring at Shang Chu in a daze.
"What are you looking at?" Shang Chu raised his hand and shook his head, "This is promising!"
Bai Zhijing smiled with the corners of his lips curled up, raised his hand and wiped his face heavily, finally let out the breath that was stuck in his throat, and stood up slowly with his knees propped up.
"Father, can I skip class today? I want to go home." Bai Zhijing carried his schoolbag on his chest, "I'm a little sleepy."
"Okay, let's go back," Shang Chu raised his chin, and threw him a key with a bear doll hanging on it, "My electric car has parked at the gate of your school, please help me drive back."
Bai Zhijing raised his hand to take the key: "What about you?"
"I'll go to your teacher's office to sit for a while. I think he has a can of old white tea, so I'll take a few sips. Sir Bai will drive to pick me up later." Shang Chude said.
"It's really shameless to show off at an old age..." Bai Zhijing muttered, and left with the keys.
The grove was dirty and smelly, there were soda cans thrown by the students everywhere, Bai Zhijing stepped on a Coke bottle and staggered accidentally.
This slight blow almost made him fall to the ground, Bai Zhijing stood still, turned his head after a few seconds, his eyes were red, and asked Shang Chu: "Father, I don't want to suffer, can I not? "
Shang Chu's eyes flickered, and he said with a smile, "Jing Er, when you don't want to be next to him, you are already next to him."
The 17-year-old Bai Zhijing is not the seven-year-old little Zhijing who cries when she feels bad, and needs to be coaxed when she cries.
He can't face Grandpa Ying who is losing his memory day by day, but still has to go to the hospital every day to learn to take care of the paralyzed old man;
He couldn't face the fact that his friend passed away suddenly, but he still insisted on not changing to a new deskmate, and stood alone in the last row with an empty desk and an exercise book;
He couldn't face being slandered by his trusted teacher, but he still didn't cry or make a fuss, guarding the last bit of decency, and ran quietly to this grove full of empty cans.
Tears welled up in Bai Zhijing's eyes, he blinked vigorously, and suppressed the tears until his eyelashes were wet.
"Then I don't want to grow up, can I not grow up?" He asked again.
Shang Chu didn't speak, but just waved to him.
Bai Zhijing always wanted to grow up when he was a child, so that when he grows up, he can protect Xu Xu and never let Xu Xu suffer;
Later, he didn't want to grow up, as long as he never grew up, he could run around in that carefree alley forever.
So to grow up, or not to grow up?
While he was struggling with this problem, he had grown up inevitably and quietly.
If it is said that Xu Xu's growth is the pain of reshaping his blood, then Bai Zhijing's growth does not seem to have any warning, and it is not vigorous at all.
It's just that when he thinks about it again, he always feels pain, his whole body hurts, like a wheel is rolling over him, bit by bit oppressing his bones and stretching his tendons.
Bai Zhijing walked out of the school gate with his head down, promise was already waiting for him outside.
His lover opened his arms and said to him, "Jing Er, come here."
Bai Zhijing opened his eyes, a bean-sized teardrop fell from his eye socket, and ran towards the promise with all his strength.