Bai Zhijing sat in the last row of the bus with his schoolbags on his shoulders.
"Breathing——" Baby Song sat beside him, patted his shoulder and said, "Come and do what I say, exhale——breath—"
"Okay," Bai Zhijing rolled his eyes at him, "Breathe, why are you fucking practicing yoga here?"
"You don't know what's good or bad, you," Song Baobei scoffed at him, "Aren't I afraid that you'll be nervous? Back to school, gobackschool!"
His cry was earth-shattering, and the whole car turned to look at them.
"Stupid," Bai Zhijing hurriedly picked up his schoolbag to cover his face, and said in a low voice, "I haven't read in a few months and I know that "to" should be added after "back."
"Fuck you!" Baby Song also covered his face with his palms, and said angrily, "This is an abbreviated usage newly researched by the Ministry of Education. If you don't understand it, just talk nonsense!"
"It's still omitted," Bai Zhijing wished he could kick Song Baobao out of the window, "Why didn't you be omitted from the nine-year compulsory education? What a mistake!"
The two of them fought all the way in the car, but Bai Zhijing didn't think there was anything wrong, Song Baobao looked much more nervous than him.
He called last night and said that he wanted to try going back to school today. Baby Song jumped three feet high and ran across half the neighborhood in slippers to come to his house, wishing he could pack Bai Zhijing's schoolbag and go to school right away.
Bai Aize originally wanted to drive him to school, but Bai Zhijing said no; he promised to send him, but Bai Zhijing also refused.
The part of the road that left the school was walked out by himself, and he had to walk back by himself.
"Please be careful when you get on the train, please walk well when you get off the train, please move to the rear compartment for passengers who get on the train, the next stop is Shiyi Middle School..."
The bus announced the stop, and the mechanical electronic synthesized sound rang in Bai Zhijing's ears, and he tightened his fingers holding the schoolbag——
Arriving at the next stop? So fast?
Only now did he feel a little anxious and nervous. Looking at the many students in the bus wearing the uniforms of No. [-] Middle School, he suddenly didn't know where to put his hands and feet.
After all, she grew up wearing a pair of trousers, so it's impossible for Baby Song not to notice Bai Zhijing's stiffness.
He moved to Bai Zhijing's side calmly, and bumped his knee into Bai Zhijing's thigh: "Why is this car driving so wobbly, my head is dizzy..."
With Baby Song beside him, Bai Zhijing unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief, turned his head and looked at the familiar breakfast stand outside the window, the closer he was to the school, the more uncomfortable his stomach became, and a stream of acid water flowed up the esophagus, like It's like blowing the throat off.
"Yeah," Bai Zhijing swallowed hard, "It's too shaking, it makes me want to vomit."
When the bus arrived at the stop, Bai Zhijing followed Song Baobao and got off the bus. Song Baobao said that he was going to buy meat buns, and asked Bai Zhijing how many he wanted, but Bai Zhijing said no.
His voice was hoarse and scary, as if he had been scorched by some strong acid water. Song Baobei was startled: "Jing'er, what's wrong with you? Are you eating wind?"
"No," Bai Zhijing's heartbeat fluctuated from fast to slow, but his palms were cold on a hot day, and cold sweat broke out uncontrollably, "throat is dry."
"Drink water, drink water." Baby Song dug out a bottle of mineral water from his bag, unscrewed it and handed it to Bai Zhijing, "Swallow a few sips."
Bai Zhijing swallowed a few big mouthfuls, cold water flowed into his body along the esophagus, he felt his body temperature returned a bit.
"Then don't eat buns, let's go." Baby Song said.
Ahead was the school gate, and it would take more than ten steps to enter the school. Bai Zhijing's stomach was overwhelmed, and he suddenly retched, his stomach acid surged up, and his eyes were filled with tears.
"What's the matter? Why are you still vomiting?" Baby Song knew that these ten or so steps were not easy for him, so he pulled him aside, "It's okay, it's okay, let's take it easy, stand aside and take it easy Take it easy."
So Bai Zhijing drank water again, and drank up two bottles of mineral water in a row.
The morning reading bell rang, and there was no one at the school gate. The guard saw the two of them standing by the school gate in their school uniforms, holding up a horn and shouting, "Can you come in? You are already late now! The school gate will be closed soon!"
"Jin Jin Jin," Baby Song shouted back, "Wait a while! Don't close the door yet!"
"The last two minutes!" The doorman pinched his watch and said, "I will call your homeroom teacher to come out and pick it up one second later!"
"The old man is annoying," Song Baobao waved his hands impatiently, and then said to Bai Zhijing, "Don't worry, Jing'er, let's not worry."
Bai Zhijing rubbed his face: "Bao'er, come in."
Song Baobei was taken aback for a moment, and then slapped him on the head: "Are you fucking crazy? Are you going to go in here?"
"I, I..." Bai Zhijing's eyes drifted from side to side, and finally found an excuse, "I haven't gone through the formalities for returning to school..."
"If you want to go back to school, can you not be allowed to go back?" Song Baobao really hated iron and steel, gritted his teeth and said, "Let's just say that, the whole school leaders have to give face to your dad if you add one, what is this procedure? of?"
"I..." Bai Zhijing breathed out, and when he opened his eyes again, there were tears in his eyes, "Bao'er, I want to vomit, what should I do."
He wanted to try it too, but his physical reaction couldn't fool anyone. He was too uncomfortable. His hands and feet were cold and his knees were trembling in the hot weather.
"You..." Song Baobei sighed, "You're such an idiot!"
Song Baobao ran in the last ten seconds before the school gate closed. Bai Zhijing stood by the school gate with his eyes closed, the back of his head against the marble wall, and he took a few deep breaths to calm down his chaotic heartbeat.
"The little ostrich failed?" A clear voice sounded.
Bai Zhijing opened his eyes in surprise, and was stunned to see Xu Xu standing ten meters in front of him, with his hands in his trouser pockets, watching him with a smile.
For some reason, Bai Zhijing suddenly felt very wronged, ran up and raised his face, his voice hoarse: "When did you come?"
"From the moment you get off the bus," promised, "I'll be there."
"Oh," Bai Zhijing scratched his head resentfully, "Then you just watched?"
He wandered around the school gate with an idiot for more than half an hour, did he see all the promises?
"Look." Xu Xu nodded.
Bai Zhijing covered his face: "Is it embarrassing for a thief?"
"Yes." Xu Xu thought for a while and said, "It's quite embarrassing."
"I didn't do it on purpose." Bai Zhijing looked at Xu Xu, the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach still persisted, "I want to vomit."
"Then give me a hug." Xu promised to open his arms.
"You're still a medical student." Bai Zhijing sniffed and said, "Can a hug cure a disease?"
"Yes, why not," Xu Xu said with a smile, "You have cured me countless times like this."
Bai Zhijing couldn't hold back in an instant, plunged into Xu Xu's arms, and put his whole body weight on Xu Xu: "It's too difficult to promise, it's too difficult..."
"I know, Jing'er, I know," Xu Xu gently rubbed the back of his head, "We'll come back next time."
"I want to try it," Bai Zhijing continued, "but I really want to vomit."
He really wanted to give it a try, so what if he just took this step?
He knows those truths better than anyone else, he has a clear conscience, what can gossip do to him?
But physical reactions can't fool people. He looked at the extremely familiar ramp in the school gate, and what flashed before his eyes was the scene of Feifei falling from the building, Tian Lei dragged him and questioned him, saying that you knew about the cheating. The scene where the classmates said that you indirectly killed Jing Feifei... The psychiatrist told him to let nature take its course, and time heals everything.
He couldn't go with the flow because time didn't heal him.
"Am I useless?" Bai Zhijing buried his face in Xu Xu's shoulder, "I can't even overcome this little difficulty, I'm not brave."
"Who said that," promised the voice softly but firmly, "who said you must overcome difficulties, who said you must be brave. Jinger, no one is forcing you, and you don't want to force yourself, okay?"
Bai Zhijing was silent for a moment, and finally let out a soft "um".
"The operation of the little ostrich out of the pit failed for the first time," Xu Xu patted Bai Zhijing's head, "Let's go home first and regroup before we can arrange the next operation."
Bai Zhijing said "um" again, this time the voice was much louder.
Time cannot heal him, but promises can.
Bai Zhijing felt that if he was given a little more time, maybe he would succeed.