Chapter 195

Finally we let go of each other shyly. “Come to school tomorrow, okay?” Kotobuki said, her face crimson. “I will. Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” “I’m fine. It’s still early. I-I’ll see you.” “Oh, Kotobuki.” I stopped her, then gave a small smile. “You should come over again sometime. I’ll tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. Plus, I want some more of your lemon meringue pie.” “O-okay! I’ll make you as many as you want, supersweet and sour.” An exuberant smile lit Kotobuki’s face like a glow shining from within, and she ran off with a “see you tomorrow!” I watched Kotobuki go with kind—with tender—feelings until I lost sight of her white scarf gleaming in the darkness. When I went inside, my mom asked me all sorts of stuff about what happened yesterday. Why hadn’t I given her the phone number? Had I gone to school like I was supposed to? “I skipped. I’m sorry.” I hung my head meekly, and it seemed like she was so fed up with me that she’d lost the energy to scold me. She warned me not to do it ever again and that was it. “We’re having dinner, so come down right away.” “Okay.” I’d been crying so much that my throat hurt and my eyelids were puffy, but my heart was clear. It was fine—I would be able to walk forward with Kotobuki now. Even if I was weak on my own, the two of us together could be strong. As I was changing in my room, my cell phone rang. I jumped at the solemn ring tone. But I wouldn’t get scared or run away. “Hello?” I put it to my ear and answered firmly. I heard a dark voice that seemed to run a hand down my spine. “So Kotobuki’s gonna be a problem after all, huh?” My mouth dried out instantly. Had he heard my conversation with Kotobuki?! “If you don’t break up, I dunno what I’m gonna do. I might mess her up bad and break her.” I am happy. Yes, I should be happy. I’m surrounded by kind people, people I love with all my heart, and they love me. I’m so, so happy, simply happy, like I’m in the golden light of sunset—like I’m in a dream. I’m happy, I am. Like a dream—yes, I am happy. I am happy, Takumi—very. So then why does my heart hurt this badly? I feel like my soul is being torn to bits! I’m so anxious, as if I’m going to be swallowed up in utter darkness! I write and I write, but I’m sad? Why? Takumi! Let’s make a bet, Kana. If I lose, you’ll never have to see me again for the rest of eternity. If that’s what you want. The page has already been turned. Soon “that which is superior” will begin.