Chapter 183

“Sure he’s goin’ out with ya, but Konoha’s bein’ polite and won’t tell you what he’s actually thinkin’. You’re not winnin’ him over. You never quit bein’ tense, so the conversation’s always strained. So even if you are goin’ out, you’re not havin’ any fun, are ya? Couples like that get tired of each other and break up pretty quick. But when Konoha’s with Tohko, all the tension goes out of him and he looks like he’s enjoyin’ himself a zillion times more.” “Y-you don’t—” “You’re totally wrong! I’m going out with Kotobuki ’cos I like her.” With an arrogant look, Ryuto said, “You like her? Are you sure you’re not just telling yourself that? Was it like that with Miu? It was different, wasn’t it? You had way more intense feelings burnin’ you up, right?” His words dug mercilessly into my chest. It was true. The feelings I’d had for Miu were very different from the feelings I had for Kotobuki. With Miu, I had been more intense. I’d loved her so much it filled my heart, was more than I could bear, and I’d wanted to take her whole self into my arms. My feelings for Kotobuki were quiet and peaceful. But— Ryuto looked up at Kotobuki and smiled. It was different from the poisonous smiles he’d been giving her—it was captivating and charming, innocent, fresh. “You should break up with Konoha now so you don’t get hurt later on. A sweet thing like you could find a new guy in no time. In which case, you wanna go out with me?” Kotobuki picked up her slice of pie and shoved it into Ryuto’s face. The whipped cream and meringue splattered over Ryuto’s face. “Y-you’ve gotta be kidding me! Just stop thinking about me! Don’t ever come to the library again!” She shouted, at the very limit of her nerves, and then she grabbed her coat and bag and ran out of the room. “Kotobuki, wait!” I ran after her, and at the top of the stairs, I grabbed her shoulder. But in a tearful voice, she said, “I-I’m sorry… I’m going to go home. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” and I couldn’t do anything else to stop her. I watched her small frame run down the stairs, feeling a heart-wrenching frustration. When I went back to my room, Ryuto was wiping the lemon meringue pie off his face with his fingers. “How could you be that mean, Ryuto? Why would you say those things to Kotobuki? Why did you even come here?” “Obviously I came to get in your way,” he replied calmly, licking off a cream-covered finger. I gaped, speechless. “I heard a rumor that Kotobuki was comin’ over to your house today, so I figured out when she was comin’ and barged my way in.” He said it evenly, as if he felt not even a shred of remorse. A faint chill trickling down my spine, I asked, “Why would you do that?” That made Ryuto look straight at me. Being stared at by those almost angry, almost irritated, intense eyes, I quailed and froze into stone. “ ’Cos you’re goin’ out with her. Even though you’re Tohko’s author.” His voice was harsher than I’d ever heard it, and it coiled around my throat, digging into my skin like a black snake. The pain and shock of it made my brain burn. Ryuto stood up. His face was higher than mine now, and he glared at me as I cowered. “Don’t forget that, please. You are Tohko’s author.” He said it in a whisper, then left the room. Feeling as if I’d been staring into a hot wind, I watched the door he’d left wide-open. What are you talking about, Ryuto?