Chapter 13:
The Future Duchess Learns the Truth
A WEEK PASSED without incident after the dukes from Rimmel returned home. Well, it would be more accurate to say nothing happened publicly during that week, but something was certainly happening behind the scenes.
After the guests from Rimmel left, things began to calm down once more in Tasmeria, and all the students who had taken a break for the occasion returned to the academy.
I put down my bags and headed to the cafeteria since it was almost time to eat breakfast. It wasn’t required that we eat breakfast in the cafeteria, so there was only a smattering of other students there. I didn’t have to wait for a seat, and a staff member brought my food to me right away.
I was just about to start eating when Sharia sat down across from me.
“Good morning,” she said to me.
“Oh, good morning!” I set down my fork and knife and looked at her closely.
“Your dress at the party was just gorgeous. And it was so fascinating how you completely changed how it looked halfway through the party; I couldn’t believe it was the same dress! Only you could pull off something like that, Merellis.”
“Oh, that’s sweet of you. I was worried it might be too much, so I was surprised it was so well received.”
“Really?” Sharia’s eyes were wide.
“Mind if I ask you something too?” I said just as Sharia’s food arrived. I picked up my knife and fork and began eating after we offered up a prayer, blessing our food. I took one bite and then set my fork back down.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Why were you dancing with him at the party?”
She froze for a moment. I didn’t specify who I was talking about, but I meant my question to be vague on purpose. Sharia knew exactly who I meant, right away. It was quite adorable how she couldn’t hide her flustered response.
“Well…he invited me to,” she said in a quiet voice, her cheeks flushed.
All I could do was sigh. Since when had the two of them gotten so close? Now, I wasn’t sure if she was aware of how she looked when she spoke of him or not, but…my friend looked quite pleased. And that was why I couldn’t just overlook it—it would be difficult for this love of hers to work out, and even if it did, all that would be waiting for her was hardship. Even though I knew that, I also knew I wouldn’t be able to stop it. That was because I knew Sharia’s disposition…but mostly, it was because I also knew what it was like to be in love.
Before Louis and I became engaged, I was so overwhelmed by my love for him that it was painful. When things didn’t go how I’d hoped at first, it hurt. The thought of not being able to be with him was devastating. Thinking back on it now, I knew how difficult it would have been to stop loving him.
“This might be a selfish request, but please…don’t bottle it up inside. Please don’t suffer all alone,” I said quietly.
Sharia smiled at me. It was a beautiful, bright smile. “Thank you, Merellis.”
Once we finished eating, we left the cafeteria and headed toward the school building. It had been a while since we’d been in class, and they hadn’t advanced in the curriculum much since so many of us had taken time off. To make up for it, the teacher taught today’s class at a much quicker pace than usual.
After class, instead of going back to the dormitory, I quietly sat in an empty classroom and watched out the window as the knights had their training.
“Is that interesting?” All of a sudden, I felt someone come in the room. I let out a sigh of relief when I realized it was Sharia.
“Yes, it is. Sometimes they move in a way that surprises me. It’s a good learning experience.”
“Does Lord Louis know you’re still interested in training…?”
“He understands. He wants me to be myself, so he’s fine with it.”
“That’s wonderful,” she said after a pause. I was sure it wasn’t my imagination that her voice sounded quiet.
“Why are you attracted to him?” I asked.
“Attracted…”
“Are you not? That’s what it looks like to me.”
Sharia let out a little sigh and then smiled. “Do I need a reason?”
“Hm?”
“It’s nothing. I’m just wondering if people need a reason to be in love.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re right. I suppose any reason you would give would just be hindsight anyway. By the time you realize you love someone, it usually already happened!”
“That’s right. I thought for sure I wouldn’t fall for him. In fact, I was worried that people would think I was after him since I’m not engaged yet… I was trying to be very careful of that since you mentioned it before.” She giggled softly. “But after we spoke about it, sometimes he and I had the occasion to talk to each other. And the more time I spent with him, the more I realized I enjoyed it. I know it’s presumptuous of me, but I began thinking—well, hoping—that perhaps I could give him support if I were the one by his side. Can you imagine it? He’s going to have an incredibly big responsibility someday. And it didn’t take long for me to realize that those things I felt for him were actually love.”
“Have you confided in anyone else besides me about this?”
“Of course not. No one else is as familiar with the palace’s inner workings as you, anyway. But I am the daughter of a count, after all. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable. And…I know that my feelings will just cause problems for him.” A dark expression clouded her face, but it then changed into a serious one. She was so beautiful that I could understand how anyone would fall in love with her. Sharia then continued speaking. “So that’s why it’s okay. I’m satisfied with the way things are. It may not be pretty, but at least now I’ve experienced what love feels like, and for that, I’m grateful.”
I truly admired her strength of character. If I was in her position, I would lament about it to whoever would listen, and I would definitely cause a lot of people trouble. But on the other hand, the way she spoke about this didn’t seem like her. Normally, Sharia would keep going, even if she thought something would be difficult. Even if that meant she might regret it. She would say things could change—and that there was nothing that couldn’t change. So why was she so hesitant this time? She was afraid of moving forward and was trying to compromise on her feelings.
But I couldn’t say a word about it, because it would be irresponsible to. After all, the object of her affection was a prince. She couldn’t just tell him her feelings lightly. And even if she did and the response was favorable, there would be much hardship ahead for her. Supporting her in this wasn’t easy.
“No matter what you choose to do, you’re my precious friend. And I’ll protect you with everything I have,” I said.
“Goodness! Ha ha. I have the strongest protector in the world then! You know, if you were a man, high society would be turned upside down! You’d have just as many girls fawning over you as the prince! Maybe even more!”
“He he he. I don’t know about that. At any rate, as long as you’re you, I’ll protect you. That’s the decision I’ve made, and I don’t want you to forget it.”
“I won’t. Thank you, Merellis.” Sharia’s eyes glittered with emotion. She showed me a beautiful smile.