Chapter 140:
Extra 5
The Ghost King’s Birthday
A MAJOR EVENT was fast approaching.
This event had sent every ghost in Ghost City into a tizzy. Xie Lian was also shocked when he heard about it; soon he was just as antsy as the ghosts who had come to inform him in secret.
“Birthday?”
“That’s right!”
That’s right, indeed. The Lord of Ghost City, Hua Cheng, had a big birthday coming up—he was turning a ripe ol’ who-knew-how-many years old!
This information completely blindsided Xie Lian, and an inexplicable panic seized him.
“Then…then, then, then, then how did San Lang celebrate in the past?”
The ghosts fought to answer, and their responses were all over the place.
“With a huge party, quack!”
“It’s not really him doing the celebrating; we just fool around on our own, I guess…”
“But Chengzhu doesn’t care about it at all, you know?”
When he heard this, Xie Lian asked, “What do you mean, he doesn’t care at all?”
“His lordship never celebrates his birthday,” a ghost answered.
“Yeah, he never cares what we do on the big day. He never spares a look at any of our presents either, quack. So every year, his birthday bash is just us having a swell time on our own, quack.”
“The eminent have sparse memories—his lordship doesn’t seem to remember what day his birthday even is!”
Xie Lian thought for a moment, then made a firm decision. Since Hua Cheng had shown such little care for his previous birthdays, Xie Lian had to think of a way to make this one different—to make it notable and interesting, and to give him a perfectly happy day. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be a birthday just like all the rest, whether Xie Lian was with him or not?
First, a present was a must. Xie Lian fell into deep contemplation. What should he give?
The ghosts stared at him with hopeful eyes. “Xie-daozhang, are you thinking about what to give m’lord?” one asked.
“Yes,” said Xie Lian. “Much ashamed, I’m…not too confident I know what your Chengzhu likes. What if I give him something he doesn’t fancy…?”
“Please. What are you worried about?” the hog butcher assured. “As long as it’s from Granduncle…from Xie-daozhang, I’m positive Chengzhu will be beside himself with joy.”
“Yeah, he’d be happy even if you gave him a piece of scrap paper. Grand…Xie-daozhang’s present will always be different from anyone else’s!”
Xie Lian gave a dry chuckle in response. He considered that sort of thinking vain and frivolous; it wasn’t serious or sincere in the least.
“You can’t say that,” he said. “A present must be carefully chosen… Does anyone have any ideas?”
Hua Cheng had ruled over Ghost City for centuries, so perhaps the ghosts knew a bit more about the kinds of things he liked. Maybe there were some nascent ideas to be plucked from this group brainstorming session, and he’d be able to find a present that was both suitable and original if he used his head a little.
Sure enough, the crowd answered, “Yes, yes, yes!”
Dozens of chicken feet, pig trotters, and tentacles extended toward Xie Lian offering a mess of things, some of which even he’d never seen before. Amazed and surrounded, he picked an item at random—a small green jade bottle that was rather mysterious and elegant.
“Oh? What’s this?”
“The bestest love potion!” the offerer of the bottle said. “A few small drops, and the person being drugged is guaranteed to fall head over heels for the one doing the drugging! Their desire will be set ablaze—with no harm done to the body!”
After a pause, Xie Lian turned serious. “Thanks for the recommendation. However, love is born from the heart; how can it be manipulated by a potion? Don’t use things like this in the future, everyone,” he scolded.
“Yes, yes, you’re right; I won’t use it anymore,” the ghost who had offered the potion replied, fearful and reverent. “But we typically don’t really use it—I only suggested it because Xie-daozhang was asking what to give as a gift.”
Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that. Why did they think he would need to give Hua Cheng a love potion?
“I don’t imagine your Chengzhu would need a potion like this,” he chuckled.
The crowd pushed that ghost down and away in a flurry of hands and feet, exclaiming, “Yeah! Would Chengzhu need to use a potion if he desired somebody? Honestly!”
That certainly is the big, fat truth of the matter, Xie Lian thought. In his own case, not a single drop of potion was needed—he was under Hua Cheng’s spell at the mere sight of him. How very shameful.
To keep his embarrassment from surfacing on his face in a blush, he quickly picked up a box.
“And what’s in here? Pearls? Pills?” he asked as he opened it.
“It’s a child-bearing pill!” the ghost who had offered the treasure replied.
“…”
Speechless, Xie Lian immediately snapped the box shut. He didn’t even need to ask what that thing did.
“What the heck is all this stuff…?” he mumbled helplessly.
Why were they only giving him such unseemly suggestions for Hua Cheng’s present?
In any case, after that messy excuse of a discussion, Xie Lian knew that there were no useful suggestions to be gotten from them. He told the ghosts to prepare the ghost king’s birthday celebration in secret to give Hua Cheng a surprise, then left to think on his own.
✦ ✦ ✦
Perhaps the matter occupied so much of his mind that his grief was written on his face. He was racking his brain while keeping Hua Cheng company during his writing practice when the one beside him spoke.
“Gege.”
Xie Lian snapped out of it. “What is it?” he asked, tilting his head.
“Is it my imagination,” Hua Cheng began, putting down his brush and staring intently at him, “or are you worried about something, gege? Won’t you tell me and allow your San Lang to share your burdens and help solve the problem?”
Xie Lian tensed and neutralized his expression in an instant. “Do not put down your brush,” he warned. “Do not slack. Pick it back up. Continue.”
Hua Cheng laughed aloud and picked up his brush anew. “I got caught,” he lamented with a lazy sigh.
Seeing that he’d managed to muddle the matter for now, Xie Lian gave a mental sigh of his own in relief.
Yet Hua Cheng only wrote two more lines before he said, sounding casual, “But, gege, you certainly have been acting a little odd lately.”
Xie Lian tensed again. “Oh? How so?”
Hua Cheng studied him for a while before chuckling. “Gege seems a little more…compliant than usual.”
“Haven’t I always been like that?” Xie Lian replied with a smile.
But Xie Lian really was drawing a blank even after he’d thought long and hard, so he decided to take a risk. He blabbed about nothing in particular for a little while, then he asked with an attempt at nonchalance, “San Lang, I’ve got a question for you.”
“Hmm? What is it?” Hua Cheng asked.
“Do you ever feel that something is…lacking? Or something?” Xie Lian asked.
“Lacking?” Hua Cheng wondered. “What do you mean, gege? Do you lack something?”
“Oh, no…I meant you. I’m just asking…”
But Xie Lian didn’t dare to be too straightforward, lest Hua Cheng catch on. Instead of asking questions like “What kinds of things do you like?” or “What sort of presents do you want?” he knew he had to ask in a roundabout way, but he wasn’t sure if rounding about would supply the information he needed. What a terribly stressful business this was.
“Me?” Hua Cheng wondered. “Does gege think I lack anything?”
He truly didn’t. Xie Lian couldn’t help but deflate in embarrassment.
“Why do you ask, gege?”
Afraid he was about to catch on, Xie Lian took the extreme option and gave him a hard shove. Hua Cheng was never on guard against him, so he was knocked back against the bed with a thud.
Although his eye went wide in surprise, he clearly didn’t object to the treatment.
“Gege, what is this?” he asked, flashing a smile. “Such enthusiasm. You—”
Xie Lian boldly approached and sealed his words, preventing Hua Cheng from finishing that thought. Soon, Hua Cheng had lost all mind for further interrogation. He captured him in his arms, flipped their positions, and stopped caring about Xie Lian’s odd behavior.