Chapter 89

“Ouka tells me you are doing quite well for yourself. And who is this boy? He looks impoverished.” “I-impoverished…?” The remark stung a bit. “Mother, this is Ryouta…” “Ah, the one you have crush o— Mmf!” Ouka reflexively covered Ominaeshi’s mouth with her hand. “My, Mother, you still seem to be groggy from all that sleep. Why don’t I tuck you in again? Forever?” “Mrrrf, mrrrf! Hmmmmf!” She was ruthless toward her own mother. “Before, you said seeing him again after so many years made you think it was fate— Mmf!” “It seems you know too much, Mother. Good-bye. In the definite sense.” “F-fine… Child of mine, I shall try to speak more appropriately… Or rather, it seems I will be killed if I don’t… I only said I wanted to sleep for fifty hours, not forever…” “Indeed, because no one will notice if anything happens in a hidden room all the way down here, Mother. I hope you realize that.” “Hmph… I am not so weak that I could be done in by a little girl.” “I cannot imagine how you can be so haughty, considering you can’t even finish an RPG.” “You are not allowed to say that word in here. Ahh…I just had a flashback to the music that played when my adventure log got deleted…” What an unpleasant mother-daughter relationship. “By the way, may I ask why you are down here, Ms. Ominaeshi?” Ryouta asked a simple question. There were a lot of things nagging at him, so he decided to start with the biggest one. “Heh… Heh-heh… Do you want to know? Knowing the truth may destroy your sanity. Are you ready? Heh-heh… I don’t like to be in the sun.” Her reason was pretty mundane after all that buildup. “Ah, yeah, I know the type. Some people just can’t stand being out in the sun for very long.” “That is not quite it… If I stay in the sun, then I’ll start producing v-vitamin D…” “That’s good for you! And it’s just a normal body function!” “Oh, Ryouta, don’t take her seriously. She just likes the idea that being in the sun will kill her. She enjoys it. She’s just an edgy teen in her Mary Sue phase. Despite being in her thirties.” “Ouka, that word is off-limits, too. I am forever seventeen.” “Uh-huh, is that so? Then I will no longer be able to bring you any sweet-potato or soba shochu. You shouldn’t drink before turning twenty, you know~.” “Wait! Time-out, time-out, I just turned twenty, right this instant! I can drink! I can drink my sweet-potato shochu!” Ominaeshi desperately argued. It sounded like she was very fond of alcohol. “Now that you mention it, there are a lot of bottles in the corner…” Ryouta could see bottle-collection crates filled to the brim with empties. “Heh… How am I supposed to create the mood in here if I am not drinking bloodred wine?” “They all look like sweet-potato shochu bottles…” All strangeness aside, Ryouta had understood that this was a woman who was totally lost in her own fantasy world and, as a result, very difficult to handle. “So you said Sairi is coming, hmm? What do you mean by that? It is not as though her sins have been forgiven.” “Ah yes, about that. You see…” Ouka explained the situation briefly. “Mm-hmm. So she is traveling to the Empire from the far-off land of El Dorado in order to take back her daughter. I see.” Ominaeshi nodded, satisfied. “Hey, Ouka? She keeps saying things like Arcadia and El Dorado. What does that mean?” “Japan. My mother needs to refer to Japan as dumb fantasy names in order to satisfy herself. And unfortunately, she’s not even good at it. Nothing sticks.” Ryouta now felt doubly sure. This woman was a lot of trouble to deal with. “El Dorado aside, that is exactly what is happening.” “I see, I see. So she will finally be coming to us from the distant realm of Wikipedia.” “Mother, Wikipedia is not a geographic location,” Ouka said flatly. “And we were thinking, should that happen, this would be a good place to hide.” “Indeed. The sun will never shine down here.” “Mother, the Sacred Blooded can’t be killed by the sun, you know.” “You still know not of the terrible power the sun has, Ouka. The sun follows you wherever you go in Super Ma*io 3.” “I don’t care about retro games.” It seemed like the games installed under the castle were due to Ominaeshi’s interests and not Ouka’s. “And isn’t it painful to sleep in such a hard coffin?” “…It actually is, yes.” Apparently, she wasn’t staying down here because it was comfortable, but because it was part of the character image she wanted to project. “I could get you a soft, comfortable bed right away if you wanted one. We have money in the Imperial household budget.” “It is tempting, but I feel as though I should not compromise on such things…” She genuinely looked conflicted. “Big Sis, I had no idea we had a budget for the Imperial household. How wonderful! In that case, I need a soft bed for my house!” “Sorry, Shiren, but you weren’t technically a part of the royal family at the beginning of the fiscal year. Try again next year.” Shiren tried to slip in a little suggestion to up her own quality of life, but it didn’t work. “I’ll buy you one if you get over eighty percent on a test.” “You know I could never get that! This is tyranny!” “Your ambitions are so low, Shiren…,” Ryouta said. It was a pretty realistic number, and he wished she would at least give it a try. “And we’re getting off track. What were we talking about again…?” “Ah, right.” Ouka cleared her throat. “Mother, if the enemy is to attack, I am hoping to have Shiren hide here… Is that all right?” There was something off about the way she was speaking. It sounded less like she was trying to get permission from the room’s occupant, and more like she was seeking confirmation on some more significant matter. “I care not. The only ones I hate are Sairi and Ouen. Though she may be their child, I am not a fool who would hold her birth against her. In fact, I’d say”—Ominaeshi turned to look at Shiren with rounded eyes—“the most important thing is what the child herself thinks.” Shiren’s shoulders shuddered. That’s right, Shiren’s mother is probably one who killed Ms. Ominaeshi’s husband… This was not a simple relationship between stepmother and child. It was more complicated than that. More blood-soaked. And come to think of it, didn’t she just say that she hated Ouen, too? If memory served him correctly, then Ouen Sarano was the previous emperor—Ouka and Shiren’s father, the one Sairi was said to have killed. This was, indeed, a complicated and bizarre relationship. One that an outsider should take care to keep out of. “If you don’t want to see Sairi, then I will lend you all the help I can give. After all, she is number two on my list of most hated people in the world. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than causing her trouble. Oh-ho-ho!” Ominaeshi laughed with delight. Even though she was supposed to be Ouka’s parent, she was rather young. Her “forever seventeen” bit may be just a joke, but Ryouta began to wonder if living down here had some kind of antiaging effect. “Um… Lady Ominaeshi… I want to stay here with everyone else, not my mother. Please…” Shiren bowed her head. “Mm, very well. You may hide here. Oh-ho-ho… Sairi, I will cause you the greatest annoyance your life has ever seen… You shan’t lay a finger on me; I shall stun-lock you mercilessly in the fighting game of life…” She had the air of a villainess, partially thanks to her looks, but it seemed like they could rely on her. “She was always so abnormally good at puzzle games… She could pull off ten-plus combos with ease… And she was quite good at Smash Br*s., too… But I am not the same as I was then…” It kind of sounded like they were gaming buddies, actually. Maybe things will work out with this. I doubt the enemy will have an easy time getting down here anyway. Ryouta felt a bit more at ease, too. “And if we do find ourselves in an emergency, I’ll station an Imperial guard outside this room. Ryouta, if that happens, I want you to join the fight. All right?” “Of course. I’m still an Imperial guard, after all.” Though it hadn’t been very long, he was cognizant of his position as a member of the Guard. He didn’t spend much time on duty with the other members, but he considered protecting Shiren, the emperor’s little sister, as an equivalent mission. And that was how he had been spending his days. “But I don’t know if I’ll be a lot of help, power-wise…” “It’s all right. So long as you stick around, Sasara’s power grows by about threefold.” “Huh, why…?” He didn’t really understand why Sasara’s name had come up here. “I’m the emperor. I know my vassals well.” Despite what she said, Ouka seemed rather displeased. “If only I hadn’t taken up the emperor’s mantle. I’m so jealous of her.” “Huh? Do you mean because Sasara has more freedom and seems to have more fun?” “That’s not for you to know, Ryouta.” Ouka brought back her majestic smile. “Attack whenever you want, Virginal Father. I will be the one to claim total victory in the end.” “There’s nothing to fear in the whole world when you have that look, Ouka. Oh-ho-ho.” Ominaeshi chuckled, undaunted. “The only thing I fear is how the katsuo flakes dance on top of steaming-hot takoyaki.” “That scares you?! I’ve only heard of that scaring nursery school kids!” “Oh, is it not shocking to you…? Do you not lose your appetite when you see a strange creature atop your takoyaki?” “No, I think normal people are fine with it…” At the very least, Ryouta was. “Do you mean to tell me that I am not a normal person?!” “Aren’t you trying to show us that you’re not a normal person?!” “My mother is unique. She is impossible to measure by any normal means.” Ouka chimed in to support (?) her mother. “Indeed, indeed. I am proud of you, child. You know me well.” “Yes, I’ve been your daughter for over a decade now, so I know exactly how to handle you.” There was absolutely no respect in her voice. “Well, Sairi may come if she pleases. There is no safer place within the Empire than this spot. No need to be a stranger, Shiren. Oh-ho-ho.” Ominaeshi turned to Shiren and smiled again. You know, I think she’s a good person deep down. As weird as she was, it seemed like he could entrust Shiren to her when it counted. “I won’t! Thank you so much, Lady Ominaeshi!” “Of course, darling. After all, you and I have an enemy in common.” Even though their positions were different, their goals were the same. “Though…who knows how long that will last?” “What…?” “There is no need to settle everything right at this instant. You will get another chance to choose how you will face Sairi when she appears. The time will come. Oh-ho-ho…” Ominaeshi laughed; it was hard to tell how much was just her overacting. “Oh-ho-ho, oh-ho-ho… Now, I am tired, so I shall sleep,” she said, getting back into her coffin and shutting the lid. All in all, it was almost comical. “Well, it seems like Mother is back to bed. It’s time we return, too.” Ouka turned to leave the room; her job here was done. “R-right… There’s nothing else left to do in here…” Shiren followed her. But unease was creeping across her face, probably because of what Ominaeshi had said. “H-hey, Shiren—” “Why would I change my mind?” she said quietly to herself. “I hate her. I hate her…” She had missed what he said, and now it felt like he was eavesdropping on her. “Oh, Ryouta. Did you say something?” “Oh, no, nothing.” Still worrying, he followed the other two. “Let’s go, Ryouta,” Shiren said. There was no emergency, so they had no reason to stay.