Who else was there? It was hard for him to come up with a list. Did I ever let Ouka know? No, wait, that would be weird. It wasn’t like I told her I had a crush on her in elementary school or anything. And she transferred not too long after that… “Oh, isn’t it just so funny when buttons are one place off their proper holes~? I wonder what will happen~.” “Uh, why do you look like you know the truth…?” “No reason. It’s fine; the past doesn’t matter~.” “I guess you’re right; it did happen a long time ago. Thinking back, I must have thought Ouka was so special because she was the only one unaffected by my curse…” Of course, she would have seemed different; she was Sacred Blooded. Maybe he’d mistaken that feeling for a crush. Or if it was love, then his unique environment had fanned the flames even higher. A part of him felt some measure of guilt about that. “You could say that~. Who is it you like now, then?” she prodded, although he really didn’t want to go there. “Yeah, good question…” He always made sure not to think too hard about it. “Who is it~? Tell me~. There are so many girls around you~.” “As of right now, I haven’t decided. I don’t have time to get wrapped up in romance or whatever…” “What about Shiren? You live together~.” “I know people get the wrong idea sometimes, but there really is nothing between us.” “You seem close with Tamaki. You’re in the same class.” “Well, you know… We’re not dating or anything; we’re just friends…” She did end up drinking some of his blood, but nothing had gone beyond that. “How was your date with Sasara~?” “That was honestly just a diversionary tactic to help Sasara… There really isn’t anything between us…” They ultimately managed to put off the deadline for her to choose a marriage partner. That was when he got a text. TITLE: You can’t not love Kiyomizu, Ryouta dearest! He deleted it without reading the rest. “I know there’s a lot of noise in the data, but basically, I don’t have anyone right now.” “I see~. There’s no one~.” He had a feeling he’d just handed her a weakness to exploit. “Well, I am in desperate need of sleep, so I am going to get some shut-eye~.” Alfoncina yawned again. “Oh, sure. I know you’re exhausted.” Ryouta relaxed slightly, knowing Alfoncina wasn’t going to be teasing him. “Oh~. And one word of warning~,” she said with a smile. “I’m usually very smiley, but when I’m woken up during my sleep, I get into a very bad mood. So please don’t wake me unless it’s an emergency, okay~? :)” “O-okay…” “In the past, I followed you because some people were joking that you were part of the Virginal Father~. This is how I looked then~.” Her face suddenly filled with hatred strong enough to kill a small fuzzy creature on sight. Ryouta thought of demons, or the villain of a battle manga. And then her expression immediately transformed back into a smile. “When they see me like this, the people at the cathedral tell one another to stay away from me because they don’t know what I’m going to do to them~. When I’ve just woken up, stopping me with logic doesn’t really help at all~. So don’t wake me up, okay~?” She smiled. “All right…I won’t wake you up… That was terrifying… It really doesn’t suit you…” “Oh, you know how sometimes, the characters’ faces in YouRou IKou! suddenly turn realistic? This was the inspiration for it~.” “I really wasn’t expecting a behind-the-scenes peek!” “All right then, night night~.” Alfoncina leaned toward the window slightly and closed her eyes. “Zzz, zzz…” After about two minutes, she’d fallen asleep. People who worked all the time would pass out in the trains. She’s sleeping soundly. Maybe this is the time for me to use the bathroom. Now that he was thinking about it, he hadn’t gone at all since leaving the house this morning, and he was feeling the urge to pee. But then— —Alfoncina leaned over to rest on his shoulder. “Zzz, zzz… Zzz…” The train had tilted slightly to the side and shifted her over. She’s not doing this on purpose, is she? She’s just sleeping. She was way too limp for her to be pretending, so she was probably genuinely asleep. “Zzz, zzz…” Her breath tickled his arm, which briefly startled him. When he realized it was just her, though, he held still. This is embarrassing, but I’ll power through it… I know she doesn’t mean anything bad by it. And she said it’d be bad if I wake her… Plop. Alfoncina fell forward onto his lap. She always has me around her finger, but right now, she seems almost helpless… Her elder, more mature aura was totally gone now that she was asleep. Her face and shoulders appeared smaller than his own. There was a sheen to her hair that made him wonder just how much time she spent taking care of it. Oh no, I’m getting nervous… He scarcely remembered it, but she had once leaned over him like this before, and he’d questioned if she was going to drink his blood. This situation made him uneasy. I wonder how she did it before… No, stop thinking about that stuff! He mentally collected himself so that his imagination wouldn’t take off in any weird directions. “Zzz… Ryouta, Ryouta…” For a second, he thought she’d woken up, but she was just talking in her sleep. “Ryouta… So…big…” “Pffft!” It didn’t sound like she was talking in her sleep, and he almost spat out his drink. Wh-what kind of dream is she having…? This is bad—this is really bad! I almost woke her up… “It’s so big… Skytree…” Oh, she means the Skytree… I thought she was going to say something sexual to me again… “Ryouta… So sharp… How inappropriate…” He jumped again. I really hope she isn’t having any weird dreams right now… And she was whispering all this from his lap, which made it worse. “Akiba is such a sharp little city… There are so many porn shops; how inappropriate… Zzz, zzz…” Oh, yeah! Akiba is the cutting edge of our generation! I think she’s exactly right! I was getting the wrong idea, but maybe this is my fault…? Is there something wrong with Alfoncina…? “Zzz… Ryouta… So full… Going to burst…” He jumped again. Calm down, calm down… There are a lot of things in this world that can be full… “Zzz… The train going from Shinagawa to Kamata on the Keihin-Tohoku Line is at capacity. I think it’s going to burst… Zzz…” What, does she live there?! I doubt she’s ever lived next to a train line! “I knew it; it’d be easier for people living in Tsurumi to use the Tokaido Line until Kawasaki, and then transfer from there… Zzz, zzz…” She’s being so specific with her sleep-talking… “Zzz, zzz… Ryouta, don’t lick there… So dirty…” This has to be unrelated… Just ignore it, just ignore it… “Zzz, zzz… Oh, stop it… Everyone’s watching…” Okay, okay, just drop the punch line already… Impossible things sometimes took place in people’s dreams. But he couldn’t completely rule out the chance that she was having an indecent dream. The unease in him slowly grew. “Gosh… You’re like a dog, Ryouta… With all that licking…” What on Earth is dream-me licking…? Not people, right? Right…? “You can’t do a tour of all twenty-three wards of Tokyo by licking the roads along the way! Zzz…” What kind of dream is that?! he mentally snapped at her. “Look, there’s gum stuck to it. Oh, I suppose that’s all right. Zzz…” Dream-me sure is innovative… Even though it was just a dream, he wished his dream self would have a bit more restraint. At least let me complain out loud… This is really stressing me out… And there was another element to this situation. He needed to go to the bathroom. If he got up to leave, then he would have to move her head, which had a great chance of waking Alfoncina up. I can still hold it, I can still hold it… I don’t think we’ll be on the Shinkansen for very long anyway…and when we stop at Nagoya, she’ll wake up from the sound of people getting on and off the train. Then I can go… “We have an announcement for our customers. Due to the strong winds blowing on the tracks, we are traveling at a reduced speed. We estimate our arrival into Nagoya Station will be about ten minutes behind schedule. We apologize for this inconvenience in your travels.” Now?! Ryouta felt like luck had simply abandoned him on this day. “Zzz, zzz… Oh, Ryouta, you wet yourself. How dirty…” Seriously, what kind of dream is she having?! “Oh, you always do baby play with Shiren, so you do this sort of thing a lot? But you need to be aware that most will see you as utterly depraved, and that it will have you lose all trust from the whole of society, okay? I don’t think we can recover from this. Zzz…” What on Earth is she dreaming about?! You can’t just say whatever because you’re asleep! “What…? You want me to lick it? I can’t do that, Ryouta…” Come on, Dream Ryouta, don’t make her do weird stuff! “You’ll pay me a hundred thousand yen? I told you, no… You’re a deviant, Ryouta…” Die, Dream Ryouta! Just die already! “If you want, then you should lick it instead. Oh, you really will do it… That is gross; please don’t…” Die! I literally don’t care if there’s proper buildup—just have a fit or whatever and die, Ryouta! You have to, for my dignity! Dream Ryouta was very quickly losing the right to exist. He was discovering rock bottom and still digging. At some point, the urge to go to the bathroom came to the front of his mind. What should I do…? “Zzz, zzz… Did you know, Ryouta? That if you hold your pee for too long, you can get kidney stones more easily…? Zzz, zzz…” Oh, sounds like her dream changed course, thankfully… “I’ve heard that stones are among the most painful ailments you can have, and even female patients have said they’re more painful than giving birth. Isn’t that scary? Zzz, zzz…” Then let me go to the bathroom, please! “I see, even with kidney stones, you still want to be by Shiren’s side right now. How suave of you, Ryouta…” No, there’s nothing suave about that at all! What on Earth is going on in her dream anyway?! “Zzz… By the way, who is it you really love, Ryouta?” Her dream had changed into something mean-spirited again. “What, Shiren was just a toy for you? You’d never want a brat like her? You should be more prudent about your word choice…” I’m turning into a villain! “And Tamaki was a toy, too? It’s easy to trick unfortunate girls with a little scrap of kindness? What did I tell you about choosing your words…?!” It sounds like I’m turning into the enemy of all women here… “And the same for Sasara? Prideful women are easy to drop because they haven’t lost their naïveté? How awful of you, Ryouta. I wish I could execute you myself right this instant…” He’s just asking for death now, huh?! “And ultimately, you’re marrying Ouka in a bid for power…making cute girls wait on you hand and foot…? You are heartless, through and through. Would you make me submit then, too? I think I would rather die at that point…” Why is she having a dream like this…? Does she think I’m an awful person way deep down? “Oh, it was just a dream. What a shock! Time to go back to sleep.” That whole thing was just dream-ception?! He was starting to lose track of what was what. I think I should just give up on going to the bathroom and sleep… At least it’ll help me keep my mind off it… He’d given up on going to pee. I’ll just close my eyes and sleep… One sheep, two sheep… “Oh~. I won’t let you sleep, Ryouta!” she yelled, and he jumped. She sure was attentive, considering her eyes were closed. “Come now~. You can’t sleep yet~. The night is still young~.” Dammit! Her sleep-talking is keeping me awake! I can’t believe this… “Oh, they’ll notice if we make any noise. We don’t want that, do we?” What are we doing, and where…? I really need to know… “See, the owls will get away if we make any noise. We came all the way out here to enjoy some night-critter watching! You can’t fall asleep yet, even if you’re sleepy.” Seriously, what the heck is going on?! Afterward, Alfoncina kept talking about things that sent Ryouta’s imagination wild as she slept, and he didn’t get any shut-eye at all. In the end, Alfoncina woke up right before they arrived in Tokyo Station. “Yaaawn, that was a good nap~!” She outstretched both arms. “You know, I had so many strange dreams~.” “Tell me later. Sorry, I really need to go to the bathroom!” Ryouta ran to the toilet. When they arrived in Tokyo, both of them could feel the attention. “People are staring at me… I really wish I could do something about this curse…” “Hee-hee, you’re so popular~.” “That isn’t funny; I mean it.” He doubted he would be abducted now as a high schooler, but it was still dangerous. “I’ve actually come up with a way to make you a bit safer. Do you want to hear it?” “Yes, tell me! I’ve never been anywhere with such a high population density before…” “I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend.” Alfoncina grinned impishly. “Wouldn’t that significantly lessen the danger to you?” “Well, that’s… I dunno…” Even though it was just pretend at most, it was hard to ask her to do so outright. “But if I act like a stranger toward you in this crowd, then you’ll have people hitting on you, isn’t that right~? Wouldn’t that be even worse~?” “Hmm…if you put it that way, yeah…” “If you don’t mind, I would act like a stranger~. I would happily watch and see what happens to you~.” “W-wait! I feel like you’re just threatening me instead!” “Then you need to ask me, okay~? Say please pretend to be my girlfriend.” “Rrrgh… You’re above me here, and that makes this unfair…” But that didn’t change the fact that he had no other options. “P-please pretend to be my girlfriend…” Ryouta bowed his head—actually, he more just let it droop. He hated having to do this, but this was probably their safest option. “Hee-hee-hee~. Now let’s find that traditional-medicine shop~.” Alfoncina grabbed Ryouta’s hand and marched forward. “Whoa, whoa! Hold on!” “Nope! This is our precious day off!” “You don’t have to hold my hand—” “Aren’t I pretending to be your girlfriend?” “Oh, right… Sigh… I now understand why Shiren and Ouka were so on edge…” Ryouta’s head drooped again. Somewhere in Tokyo… …the two had come to an old, sketchy-looking medicine dispensary on a street corner. Outside stood a line of frog and elephant mascots. But it wasn’t just one or two of them—there was a long row of them for some reason. “This place looks really fishy. Is it even open?” “This shop is the Kiyoshige Matsumoto Pharmacy, a place known only by those in the know.” “The name sounds like it’s been copied from another famous shop.” “Yeah, last year, I heard they changed the name from the Haruo Fujiwara Store to this~.” “It’s an old store, but they really did copy it!” When they stepped inside, they found a man sitting there, wearing sunglasses, a mask, and a hat, reading the horse-racing columns in the newspaper. This is incredibly fishy… Fishy enough to make me think this guy’s doing it on purpose… “Customers! What is it you’re looking for? I got a shipment of good powder in today, heh-heh.” “Powder? What kind of powder…? Nothing illegal, I hope…” “No. Starch.”
Chapter 75
14 min read