Chapter 60

EPISODE 4 LET’S GO ON A DATE IN THE EMPIRE! “—And so, we’ll be going on a date next week,” Ryouta announced after returning home from the Tatsunami manor. Neither girl listening to this news was impressed. The first was Shiren, while the other was Ouka, who had come to hang out. “Tell me whose minion you’re supposed to be, Ryouta. Nice and loud.” “I’m…Shiren’s minion…” “You certainly are! And yet you’re going on a date with another Sacred Blooded! This is a grave act of treachery against your master!” Shiren was so angry, her pigtails were almost standing on end and steam was nearly coming out of her ears. “I’m telling you, there’s a reason… You have no idea how bad it can get if Sasara and I aren’t on good terms…” “Ha! Save your excuses! Yes, I allowed you to take on a temp job with Tamaki. Even if you wanted to be alone together, you were still working and performing your duties. But this is different!” Shiren’s voice was beginning to break; she was close to tears. “This is a date, no question about it! You’re going on a date with another girl without your master’s permission… That’s so…weird! And unfair!” Shiren pounded Ryouta with her fists, and he felt so guilty about the whole situation that he let her. “You’re so stupid, Ryouta! Stupid, stupid!” “Sorry, I didn’t play my cards right at all…” “Your master’s face didn’t play her cards right!” “You know you’re insulting yourself, don’t you?” “Shut up! You’re the bad minion that rebelled!” “Sorry… I’ll be more careful in the future…” “I wanna go on a date with you, too!” Ryouta had no snarky retort for that. That was the last thing he’d expected to hear. “Oh… What I mean is…you’re not supposed to go over your master’s head for a date… I didn’t mean that I wanna go on a date with you, but I guess that’s what I said… That’s, uh, well, just forget it!” Shiren’s face went red as she stepped back. She was done smacking him for the time being. It was now her sister’s turn. “You honestly have no principles, Ryouta. You almost make me think that you’re operating on animal instinct alone. Are you even human?” Ouka was not pulling her punches. “I know it was bad, but I don’t think it makes me inhuman!” “Why do you even need to go on a date with Sasara? Your official wedding would be far in the future, so you could have said you would court her while you were still in school. That would have tricked them easily.” “Well…that’s a good point, but you’ve gotta think about how things might’ve played out…” Would any guy have turned down Sasara after all she said? When she asked, “Shall we go on a date?” the answer was a nod and a yes. See, Sasara’s right smack between cute and gorgeous, or the best of both worlds at least… He hadn’t noticed it since she was always moaning over Ouka, but if he took a step back to look at her, he saw a perfectly normal, beautiful young lady. “Ugh, you’re rationalizing right now, aren’t you…? Unbelievable. This is why we always have such a hard time with you.” “Oops… You were right on the mark, so I can’t say anything…” Ouka’s insight was sharp as always. “Wait. What do you mean by me giving you a hard time? You’re not really a part of this whole incident, are you?” Ouka wavered for a brief second. Oh crap, was written across her face. “Well… If you’ve promised a date to someone without your master’s permission, you’re essentially ignoring the master-minion system. That’s technically rebellion, and I am the ultimate authority of the Empire, which means I have a responsibility to address such an evil act, which is giving me a hard time. You see?” “That explanation sounds kind of forced…” “I’m raising taxes.” “Don’t flash taxes whenever something doesn’t go your way!” “I use these taxes for the less fortunate.” “Stop trying to make me into the bad guy!” “I shall supply them with figurines and body pillows and bath posters.” “Wait, less fortunate how? At least choose a story and stick to it!” “I’ll limit it to two sets per person when it goes on sale.” “You just said you’d give it away, but now you’re selling?!” “All right, enough jokes.” Ouka was genuinely upset—which was incredibly rare for her. Ryouta thought all the way back to elementary school, and he still couldn’t remember ever seeing this expression on her face. “This whole incident has me realizing how lenient I’ve been… The idiom about a snake in the grass comes to mind… I’ve been bitten by my own dog…” “Your dog? You mean Sasara?” “I let my guard down because I believed she would only ever look at me… I underestimated your power, Ryouta…” “My power? No, the curse shouldn’t affect the Sacred Blooded.” Ryouta’s very unattractive grandfather had cursed his grandson to be unusually attractive to humans of the opposite sex. But only humans, which was why he could live in relative peace in the Empire. In exchange, he wore a collar around his neck to show that he was Shiren’s minion. Otherwise, other Sacred Blooded people might start targeting him for his blood. He had a feeling he was constantly getting involved in some form of violence. Or maybe that was just his imagination. “This is what happens when I let my guard down… Sigh…” Ouka was plainly upset. “Shiren, let’s get a drink. I feel like the booze will taste better with you today.” Ouka leaned on Shiren. “Hey, she’s underage! And so are you!” “You’re right, Big Sis. I want to give that tomato shochu a shot today.” “Don’t go along with it! And who the heck makes tomato shochu?!” “Go and print out the bar coupon from online for a discount. We’ll split the bill.” Despite being the emperor, she wasn’t willing to buy the full round of drinks. “Hey, I know the word date got all the attention, but it really is just for show.” Sasara would never love anyone besides Ouka. “We’ll all go back to acting normal tomorrow.” “If you say so. But you’ll have to draw the line somewhere,” Ouka said, looking at him like he was a fool. “The line?” “As a personal guard of mine.” The next day was Monday. “G-good morning…Ryouta Fuyukura…” “Hey, morning…Sasara…” When they saw each other’s faces, they quickly turned to find something else to look at. A day had passed since the incident, but they were still embarrassed by it. The class immediately caught wind of the odd tension between them, too. “There’s something up with those two.” “What happened over the weekend?” “I smell drama!” Rumors immediately started circulating. “Wait… My negative aura is usually the most powerful in this class, but it’s being smothered… What happened? Has something terrible happened without my knowledge? Ah, of course. My unhappiness is entirely inconsequential. Like an ant carrying a grasshopper husk through the forest. Even with the butterfly effect, I doubt anything I say would move anything in this world a single centimeter… Sigh…” Tamaki was depressing herself as always, but an entirely different atmosphere was indeed circulating through the room. “You’ve seemed unhappy all morning, Sasara. What happened?” Ouka asked, standing in front of her vacant-looking guard. “Oh, is that so? I am as I always have been, or so I’ve assumed.” “Maybe you aren’t completely awake yet. Should I give you a good-morning kiss?” “Oh, please do not engage in such unladylike acts. I humbly ask you to refrain from inviting harm to yourself, even as a joke.” “You sound like a noble lady…” “What a silly thing to say. The Tatsunami family is a distinguished lineage that has served as the Empire’s bulwark for a long time.” Ouka briskly walked away from Sasara and over to Ryouta. “Wh-what is it?” She pinched his cheek. “What the heck?!” “It’s your fault that Sasara’s acting like nobility! Her personality is completely different! This is worse than her malaise from last week!” “What do you want me to—?” “She’s not moaning over me anymore! She’s not horny at all! She’s now a completely un-depraved member of my personal guard!” “That’s a good thing! She’s excelling at her work!” “Excellence isn’t interesting! She’s too proper! Just look at her! She took her textbook out to prepare for the lesson!” Sasara had her Japanese textbook open, and she seemed to be reading. Her posture was perfect. In fact, she looked so much like a model student that the whole picture was just eerie. “But you can’t ask her to act more sloppy or start lusting after yourself…” “Anyway, it’s wrong! Go check in on her! She has to be sick somehow!” Left with no other choice, Ryouta approached Sasara. “You’re studying really hard, Sasara. I really need to study, myself…” Sasara looked up from her textbook, and her face went bright red. “Wh-what do you want…? Have you forgotten your textbook…?” “What? No, not really.” “Please do not talk to me without prior warning! You scared me! I am your senior as a member of the military…” “You are, so you can teach me a lot.” “There is nothing I can teach you… Please do not speak to me in school… You embarrass me…” Sasara half hid her face in her textbook. This was all too much for her, and she didn’t even want him to see her anymore. Then something pulled on his neck—Shiren was yanking him back. “Owwww! Hey! Stop that!” “Silence! You will not be showing off this sweet little first-love performance to everyone else!” “Why are you putting it like that?! And that’s not what it is!” “You do not need to answer! I would allow you to laugh at the ‘com’ part of this whole romcom, but this is just ‘rom’! Watching you is making me blush!” “Then do your blushing without the violence!” Finally, she dragged him into a corner of the classroom. “Dearest Ryouta,” said Kiyomizu, “I was relieved that you made it through Sunday safely, but I can’t believe it’s come to this! It’s too much! I have no choice but to use the forbidden Chobuku-ho prayer and eliminate Sasara!” Kiyomizu seemed especially motivated; she was holding an odd-looking metal weapon in her hand.