Chapter 99

“Arww… (Whew… Soaking in the tub when you’re exhausted is the beeest.)” It would have been even better if I hadn’t worked myself to exhaustion at all, but whatever. I’m deep in the tub, drowning in ecstasy. I’ve never had a bath in the middle of the night like this. Hecate apparently said something to the maids to have them prepare the big bath. If she hadn’t been expecting all this in the first place, they wouldn’t have been able to get it ready. How great is the scope of her foresight, exactly? Maybe I should have expected this from the elves’ great elder. “……” Hecate, perched on the edge of the tub, is gently swirling a glass of wine. Her narrowed eyes, however, are trained on me. She’s smiling, which just makes it all the more terrifying. “Arwf! (Quit looking at me without saying anything!)” It’s scary! I didn’t even say anything out loud! “It’s always written all over your face, Routa.” “Arwf? (Are you serious? I guess I really am easy to understand…)” In my past life, I was no better than livestock; I led an existence free of emotion, much less expression. Seems like ever since I got reincarnated here, I’ve gotten a lot more honest with my feelings. Well, that’s good. It’s a good thing, so please overlook it. “Mew! (Nooo…! I don’t like the bath!)” Nahura, who was being washed by Hecate until a few moments ago, lies limp on the edge of the tub. “How slovenly. Did you remember to collect it?” “Meow. (Ah, yes, it’s right here.)” Nahura spits something up. It’s a fragment of purple metal. “Arwf? (Huh? Isn’t that…)” “It’s still a secret, Routa. One day, though,” says Hecate, putting a finger to her lips and winking at me. Well, I don’t really care what it is. And I don’t really want to know, either, since it seems like one of those things I wouldn’t be able to ignore if I did know. “Haven’t I told you to stop crying already?” “Uuu… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…” On the other side of the bathtub, Zenobia is trying to comfort the Hero. “…Arwf? (…Wait, why’s the Hero in here?)” This bath is for the women to relax in! I’m a dog, so I don’t count! Is that it? Do pretty boys even get allowed in the bath?! I won’t stand for it! All of creation may tolerate it, but I will not! In the name of the moon, I will punish you! I charge, parting the water, leaving bubbles in my wake—but something’s wrong. There are two melons, just as big as Zenobia’s, on the Hero’s chest. “Arwf?! (What?!)” Wait a second, is the Hero actually… “…Arwf, arwf? (…Post-op?)” “They’re natural… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” The Hero makes an earnest apology. Well, I certainly didn’t expect her to be a girl who prefers to dress like a man. “Squeak. (So you’ve finally realized.)” “Mew. (I think you may be the blindest of them all, Routa.)” They both snicker. Grr! It looks like I’m the only one who didn’t notice, so I have no argument. Actually, judging by the Hero’s response, could it be she can understand me? “I… Well, I can use magic, so…” Oh, right. The elves said something about that, too, didn’t they? Those with an affinity for magic can understand what I’m saying, or something. Which would also mean all of my many perverted remarks have also been overheard… “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I won’t tell anyone, so please forgive me…” The Hero covers her face in embarrassment. “You… You bastard! What did you do to Alstera?!” “A-arwf! (I-I didn’t do anything! I certainly didn’t say anything about wanting to lick her!)” “Eek!” Even more frightened now, the Hero sinks deeper into the water. “You… You…!” Zenobia balls her hand into a trembling fist. These accusations are false! False, I tell you! And shouldn’t you be the one covering your front, Zenobia?! “Squeak! (Always getting aroused as soon as you realize someone is female! I will not stand for it!)” Damn it! If even Len gets involved, this could get a lot hairier! “Hey! You’re in the bath? No fair…” And then the door to the bathroom opens, and my lady enters. She rubs her tired eyes, still half-asleep. She made it all the way here in a sleepy daze? The young lady’s ability to sniff out fun is incredible, as usual. “Wait, Mary! Why did you suddenly run aw—? O-oh?” Drills, chasing after her, is dumbstruck by the chaotic scene in the bath. An elven witch with several bottles of alcohol open nearby, a red cat lying exhausted next to her, a blushing Hero recoiling in embarassment, a swordswoman chasing down a lascivious scoundrel, and a dog running away from her.