But as I looked at the rainbow-colored magic shimmering at my fingertips, I thought of the man I loved who was fighting out there alone, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m the Hero’s wife, after all.” The words fell into the quiet room like a pebble into still water. Everything went quiet, and I flinched…then shook my head. “I mean, it’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened. I’m used to it. Lukie and Marshal Webber are both so strong, so they’ll be fine.”
But the more I talked, the harder it was to breathe.
There was no such thing as getting used to losing someone. Not ever.
Strength meant nothing to those left behind to pray for someone’s safe return. There would be no relief unless I saw him with my own eyes. And until then, I could only keep praying with every breath, at every waking moment, “Come back. Come back to me.”
I would be tormented by this fear for the rest of my life, just like Marshal Webber’s wife.
I knew the peace I normally enjoyed was built on the sacrifices of Lucas, Marshal Webber, and the past Heroes and their families. But now that I was the one left behind to pray, I couldn’t help but feel bitter toward those who lived their lives in peace, oblivious to it all.
I wasn’t the only one, either. Lucas must have been hurting even more than I was now. I tried to lean on the marshal’s wife since she shared my pain, but I hated myself for it. The self-loathing that overcame me had me reeling on my feet.
“Oh, Princess Cecilia!” Anna called out. “All the color’s gone from her face!”
“Elsa, call the royal physician now!” Kate said.
“I’m going right now!”
I heard Kate and Elsa rushing around, but I just shut my eyes to escape it all.
“I’m sorry…”
Please don’t let her suffer. Please let the marshal be safe.
I prayed through my hazy vision, and just for a moment, I wished I could stop being Cecilia. I wished I could dream of Lucas talking about the marshal with that boyish look on his face…and then I lost consciousness.
“Mm…”
Something touched my forehead, stirring me awake. I strained my eyes in the dim light of the room, confirming the familiar canopy above my bed, and then looked to the side.
“Welcome back, Lukie.”
He wasn’t making a sound, but I knew he was there.
He didn’t reply, just silently brought a cup of water to my lips. I smiled weakly and accepted it. “How long was I asleep?”
“Not that long. You’ve just got a little fever.”
I slowly sat up and then glanced at Lucas.
His voice sounded normal, but his normally bright golden eyes looked lifeless, like a doll’s. His eerie stillness sent a shiver down my spine and made me panic.
“I-I’m sorry for worrying you.”
This was the worst possible time I could’ve collapsed, and I immediately felt guilty.
Then he quietly took the cup from my hands. “Can I hold you?” he asked in a tiny voice filled with fear, dread, and despair. I reached for him without thinking.
“Of course!”
I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his dark hair. It carried a faint herbal fragrance, masking the smell of blood, which told me he’d been out fighting again. My heart ached for him.
As the second prince, Lucas also had his share of political duties. But every day before dawn, he went alone to the border forest. And during the day did his bureaucratic work. Once he was done with his official duties, he returned to the forest to slay more monsters and continue the search.
It was already common knowledge among the people that the previous Hero had disappeared, supposedly dragged into the abyss by violent monsters. Fear ran rampant through the land. The nobles had asked Lucas to be more conspicuous in his efforts to protect the kingdom, fearing unrest if he didn’t.
Which meant they didn’t believe he was seriously trying to find the marshal at all, and that infuriated me.
They didn’t know he went over the training he’d learned from the marshal every night before bed. They didn’t know he traced a map of the abyss with his fingers every day, as if wanting to show the marshal what he’d learned before heading out.
Even now, he had on his leather gloves, ready to leave at a moment’s notice. It made me want to cry.
He was the one being crushed by the fear of losing the marshal, not me.
And he was so careful not to burden even me with that fear. If I collapsed over such small troubles, I wasn’t fit to be his wife. Get it together, Cecilia Cline Herbst.
If there was anything I could do to put his mind at ease, I’d do it. I cradled his face in my hands and locked eyes with him.
“I’m not that fragile, darling,” I said.
“You had a fever.”
“I did. But considering how often you practically crush me at night, I’d say I’m pretty tough if I came out of it with just a little fever—don’t you think?” I said with a teasing smile. I saw a spark of light flickering in his eyes, which had been dark as a moonless sky.
“Yes, you are… My strong wife.”
I expected him to agree, but was it just me, or did he put a little too much emphasis on the my part?
What do you mean by that? I thought as I frowned and gave him a look. He narrowed his eyes softly and leaned in for a gentle kiss.