Once they explained it to me, I seriously considered burning the whole palace down.
Only men like Felix, arrogant bastards who’d never had to wait for anything, could stomach this kind of set-up. The only reason I even attended this damn banquet was to smoke out the Empire’s spies and make it clear to everyone that the only person who could lay claim to me was Cecilia. If not for that, I never would have bothered with such customs that so blatantly disrespected her.
I clenched my left hand. The sight of the golden vine wrapped around my ring finger reminded me of her smile when she said it suited me, and I quelled my rage.
“It’s something my beloved wife said looks good on me,” I spoke loud enough for everyone nearby to hear, and Dirk let out a dramatic sigh to draw attention on purpose.
“Hearing this kind of lovesick nonsense from my little brother stings a bit as a bachelor. Maybe it’s time I started thinking about marriage, too.”
He turned to the stage and gave another dramatic sigh. One of the dancers nearby blushed. She glanced at the desert rose in front of Dirk, trying to be casual, but I couldn’t help but snicker.
She must think she could get away with anything with a face like that. Did she really think she could compete with my Cecilia? I’d lost count of how many noble daughters had picked a fight with her and lost.
People tended to mistake Cecilia’s calm demeanor for docility, but she was one of the most strong-willed women I’d ever met. The fire beneath her soft exterior drove me wild.
She would push back, then suddenly open up with complete honesty. She was scared of breaking, yet that never led her to reject me. She accepted me and wanted me. She drove me crazy in the best way and always threw me off guard.
It was amazing, but ever since that night at the inn, she’d gotten way too good at touching me. She left me begging her to go easy on me.
I was already weak whenever she was involved, but when she gave me that flushed look and kissed me and said, “Just let it out inside of me,” how the hell was I supposed to hold back?
Wait, is it normal for other people to hold back at times like that?
I’d never thought about it before. I snuck a glance at Islan, who was watching me with a strange grin on his face.
Come to think of it, I’d never actually talked about this stuff with anyone besides the standard birds-and-bees talk. But in a polygamous society, men were expected to be more experienced, which meant those two probably had way more practice than me.
Should I ask?
But before I could decide, Dirk interjected with his usual legato voice, with yet another comment on the dancers’ ages. I let out a sigh.
“I-it’s not what it looks like, Lord Lucas,” Islan said. “This party really wasn’t meant with that intention…”
“His Highness’ shifty behavior raises a lot of questions,” Dirk said. “Why would you bring out such rare desert roses for a group of dancers with so few years on them?”
“I wasn’t talking to you, Lord Dirk! I bet you’re the clingy type that women hate!”
“Oh, come on. The two of us got buried together, remember? We’ve got a bond now.”
“I have no use for such a bond! Just be quiet already! This is exactly why Prince Lucas doesn’t like you!”
Yeah, those two are probably ahead of me in terms of experience, but I seriously doubt they could tell me anything remotely helpful. And honestly, since Dirk’s only two years older than me, I don’t want to give him an excuse to tease me. Still, even if I could hold back, that doesn’t mean it’s what Cecilia wants.
In fact, the more childish I acted, the gentler she became. She was the only one who could bring out that side of me.
So it didn’t matter what these two jerks thought was normal. It was useless. All I wanted to be was who she wanted me to be, so there was no point in seeking their advice.
I tossed the desert rose back into its basket just as the dance came to an end.
The dancer who’d kept sneaking glances at me and my rose must have been the main dancer, given how elaborate her costume was. She gave me one more glance as the dancers’ bells chimed the end of their performance, her shoulders rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.
She looked down and saw that the rose hadn’t been destroyed, and her pale face relaxed into a relieved smile and that’s when I felt my rage begin to simmer once more.
Did she really think I was a decent enough man to spare her? Did she have some kind of reason she had to go through with this? Or had she heard of how I’d forgiven the Aram princess and decided she could pull a similar stunt, throwing herself upon Cecilia’s mercy if she failed?
Whatever her circumstances, they didn’t justify any insult to Cecilia’s honor. The second she tried to snuff out my flame, she gave up her right to live.
Neither she nor her patrons deserved to so much as stand beneath Cecilia’s gaze. I wouldn’t even let her plead for her life. I’d have her fall on the sword herself and return to dust, locked in a dark cell where no one could ever find her.
She thought she’d seen a way out. I picked up the glass I’d set aside and grinned, silently daring her to try it.
“My little brother certainly turns into a devil when his wife is involved,” Dirk said.
“You should smile, too.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Dirk pretended to chide me under his breath, but he was already going along with my plan. I fought the urge to scoff at how easy he made it look. Instead, I forced a smile and raised my glass just I heard a small cheer go up somewhere nearby.
That must’ve been the signal.
The dancer hesitated a moment, then stepped in front of my flame. Her cheeks had the flush of a besotted maiden. She reached out toward me in a pleading gesture, the bells jingling on her wrist, and moved to extinguish the flame as if my proposal was a given.
“Wh-why won’t it go out?”
The fire continued to burn even after several moments had passed, even though it should’ve been extinguished by her bells. The crowd had been holding its breath, and now I heard murmurs.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she looked at me like she wanted help. I dropped the smile and answered bluntly. “You just tried to put out the flame of a man who already has a wife. You were trying to become Bern’s princess, knowing full well that Cecilia is already mine, weren’t you?”
“N-no, that wasn’t my intention, I swear!”