I was lost for words for a moment, but I still answered. “This is a common misconception, but a soul is not the same as a dead person’s mind. The mind doesn’t actually exist—it’s a structure. Various complex phenomena that occur in someone’s brain. That entire structure is what makes up someone’s mind.”
If you sealed a chick inside a glass jar and shook it violently, nothing would come out. However, something important would undeniably be lost from the mangled chick. That something was the structure—the mind—and the essence of life itself.
“A soul is nothing more than the remnants left when that structure is etched into the world. Sometimes they may possess consciousness close to the original person’s, but it still can’t be called the same person. When forced into a corpse, it changes even more. There are different types of necromancer, but regardless of whatever means are used to bring back the dead, they’ll never behave the same as when they were living. So,” I said, hesitating just slightly, “the people you cut down didn’t suffer.”
That was a lie. I didn’t know the truth. Unless I became undead myself, there was no way to be certain. But it was still something I needed to say, for the sake of the person who was alive now.
“Hmm... That’s good.” Amyu gave a short reply, then began digging again. “Maybe I was being naive. This is what war is like, huh?”
I listened carefully as Amyu’s words came out just a few at a time.
“I had no idea just how many people suffered because of the people behind schemes like this. I thought maybe I could help them, but this was all your doing, wasn’t it?” Amyu said, pointing at the corpses. “If someone capable of all the things you’re capable of says it’s hopeless, then what can someone who’s just a little good at magic and swordplay do? I think I just got carried away at being called the Hero and getting summoned to the imperial palace.”
Amyu kept digging into the earth with strong, steady strokes. Her expression looked the same as always, but there was a hint of dejection about her. “You were right. I never should’ve gotten involved.”
“That’s not true,” I said before I realized it. “That girl you saved from the collapsed building would’ve died if you’d never gotten involved.”
“Hey, Seika.” Amyu thrust her shovel into the ground, then turned to face me. “Can you revive the dead?” Her bright green eyes pierced straight through me.
“Of course not,” I said, looking away reflexively.
“When we were escaping the imperial palace, I overheard a bit of your conversation with Fiona after I got in the carriage.” Amyu’s eyes were still locked on me. “I didn’t really understand it at the time, so I thought maybe I was wrong, but then the emperor said there were no casualties during our audience. That’s impossible, isn’t it? There were guards posted on the walls. There’s no way nobody died during all that destruction. I know you restored everything you destroyed, but did you really only rebuild the physical objects? You could bring everyone who died in this fight back to life if you wanted to, couldn’t you?”
After a moment of silence, I shook my head. “No. And that’s the truth.”
The dead couldn’t be brought back to life. The only way to revive someone who had died was to make it so their death had never occurred in the first place. Powerful sorcery without so much as a name that rewrote the record of the world. That was what I was capable of. However, the more time that passed from their death, the more that needed to be rewritten, dramatically increasing the difficulty. Even I was likely only capable of rewinding a single day at most.
Not only was I not able to bring back the countless innocent lives lost to war, but I hadn’t even been able to revive my wife, who had died of illness. And even if it were possible, I probably wouldn’t.
“Right. Of course.”
“If you could do it, would you?” I asked Amyu. “If you could freely revive the dead, would you bring back everyone who died in this conflict? Would you revive everyone who meets a tragic death in the future?”
Amyu remained silent for a while, then finally shook her head. “After thinking about it for a bit, probably not.”
“Why?”
“This might sound bad, but I don’t have a reason to go that far. And I couldn’t take responsibility for it. If I brought a lot of people back to life, the empire would probably change in a major way. It’d be fine if things changed for the better, but what if some things got worse instead? I wouldn’t know what to do then, and that scares me,” she said haltingly.
“I think people like Fiona, the emperor, and the first prince are more suited to that stuff. People who have the resolve and talent to change the world and reshape the lives of many people. I get the feeling that even if someone had the ability, if they didn’t have the resolve and panicked once things changed, acting on their own would end poorly.” Amyu looked at me as she went on. “When the stampede broke out in Rakana, you tried to get us to escape alone, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“At the time, I thought you were really coldhearted, but now I kinda get what you were thinking. Things could’ve gotten bad. After Rakana, people might have started saying, ‘Next, you have to save this city, or that country, or stop a war.’ Telling you to take responsibility for the fate of others. I’m sorry for forcing that resolve on you.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal. I don’t regret saving the city.”
“Really? Still, if I were as strong as you, I think I’d only help the people around me. Maybe that makes me a failure as the Hero who’s supposed to save humanity,” Amyu added quietly.
“No,” I said with a slight smile, “that’s who you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you calling me heartless?”
“Knowing your limits isn’t the same as being heartless.”
“I know my limits?”
“Maybe not up until this point, but I think you do now.”
“Are we just insulting me now?”
“That’s not it. I just mean you know how the world works now, but you still choose to protect those close to you. That’s who you are as a person.” Amyu wasn’t stupid. She was a little naive, sure, but I had always believed that she would eventually realize that there was more to the world than ideals and pretty words. And if that feeling still remained in her even now that she understood, then that was simply who she was.
“What the heck...” Amyu faced away, thrusting her shovel back into the soil. “Doesn’t the same go for you?”