It was a sight beyond belief: a little girl was deflecting falling wooden boxes like a brick wall, easily lifting up one of them with a single hand.
What’s going on? Somebody tell me what’s going on!
Unable to keep up with everything happening, my mind blanked out as I held up the box. But then, Tutte’s voice pulled me back into reality.
“M-My lady...”
I hurriedly threw the box away and turned around flusteredly to face Tutte. But as soon as I did, I was stunned. The moment I turned to look at her, Tutte took a step back, her face washed over with...terror. Rejection.
In my past life, people pitied my sickly state, so I saw plenty of faces colored by pity and sorrow—but never rejection. No one would visit my hospital room just to reject me, after all. Even in this life, all the people I’d interacted with were the family and servants who cherished me.
So, the way Tutte was looking at me now, her features twisted by fear, felt like a fist clutching my heart.
“Um, I...”
I have to say something, anything! But, I mean, I didn’t know I could lift these kinds of weights either!
My thoughts were running around in circles. In the meantime, servants had begun rushing into the shed, having heard the commotion. When they realized what had happened, they immediately checked that I wasn’t hurt and took me to my room; I couldn’t stop the horde of adults from carrying me away. I give up on trying to figure this out.
A few hours passed. I was sitting on my bed all alone, staring into space in the middle of the night while everyone else was fast asleep. I hadn’t stepped out of my room once since the incident. I don’t want to see anyone. Especially not Tutte...
The thought of being looked upon with such terror made me freeze up. She must think I’m a monster. She hates me now... I never knew rejection could be this scary...
I stared up at the ceiling, a self-deprecating smile playing over my lips. But then, I heard a knock on the door.
“Um... My lady...?” I heard Tutte’s voice on the other side of the door.
Once more, I felt a tight grip squeezing my heart. “D-Don’t come in! Leave me alone, please!” I bolted out of my bed in a hurry and locked the door. I realized what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself. My young heart couldn’t think of anything else to do.
“M-My lady...I understand that y-your anger is...justified, but...” I heard Tutte mutter.
Huh? My anger?
Tutte’s unexpected words gave me pause. I brought my ear to the door and listened.
“When it happened, I...I should have thrown myself in front of you to shield you from the danger, my lady...but I was just... I was so scared, I couldn’t move...”
What is she saying? If she’d jumped in to protect me, she would have just gotten herself seriously hurt!
I hadn’t quite shaken off my typical citizen mentality from my past life yet, but I was a noble, and she was a commoner. What’s more, she was under my employ, which created a clear disparity between us.
“I...!” Tutte raised her voice momentarily. “When...When you were born, and the master told me I’ll be looking after you, I felt like I’d found my purpose in life for the first time. And in the three years since, I’ve studied so much to be of use to you...”
Her voice became more feeble as she continued to speak. “But I... When push came to shove, I froze up... No. I was so afraid of getting hurt, I couldn’t take a single step forward...”
Silence settled over us for a moment.
“My lady...I realize how presumptuous it might sound, but please, please give me a second chance. Allow me...to stay by your side... Please...”
That final “please” was more muffled than the rest. Was she holding back tears?
I’m so stupid. I was only thinking about myself. I was like that in my past life, but I was so occupied with just staying alive that I couldn’t think about what other people felt.
Tutte is just as anxious as I am. She regrets not being able to protect me, thinks that I’ve become disillusioned with her, and probably fears she’ll lose her place...
“My lady... Please let me stay by your side...”
All the fear and emotion had finally reached a breaking point, and Tutte’s voice became choked with tears.
Three years. For three years, she dedicated herself to studying for my sake. Thinking back on it now, why did I think she was scared of me? If she were, why would she be here in front of my room now? She wasn’t the one rejecting me. I was the one rejecting her, for fear of being rejected!
My realization made me terribly ashamed of my actions. Before I knew it, tears were welling up in my eyes. Just how small and self-centered can I be?
“I’m sorry, Tutte... I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry I scared you...”
Without a second thought, I opened the door and tearfully apologized to the girl standing before me—and Tutte, who’d been hanging her head and holding back her own tears, looked upon my pitiful apology with confused eyes.
That night, the sound of my weeping and repeated apologies echoed through the mansion, baffling the grown-ups. As for the matter of Tutte seeing me crushing and lifting up those boxes...
“Oh, that?” Tutte said with a smile. “That wasn’t a surprise. I mean, I’ve heard tales of the master lifting up boulders twice his size when he was only five years old. It only makes sense you would be capable of the same.”
It seemed Tutte didn’t see the whole incident take place and only spotted me lifting up that last crate. She was under the impression that the rest of the crates had been crushed by hitting the floor in front of me. It only made sense she’d come to that conclusion, given I was harmless and the boxes were all scattered in front of me. Still...
You did that when you were five years old? I’m impressed, my father... I guess this is a hereditary thing? Or maybe not...? I mean, it’s not like I went through training or anything...
The truth of what my power was would go on to be revealed later down the line.