Chapter 176

CHAPTER 15 A Goddess’s Worth The underworld’s jester watches me with a fiery gaze. Unbelievable! Am I really going through with this?! Being in my underwear is embarrassing enough. But do I really have to act like an ape?! The gorilla scratches its butt, totally ignoring my presence. Th-this can’t get any worse! But Seiya’s right. I have to do it for the spirit world! I’m going to do it, Ishtar! After mustering up enough courage, I begin scratching my butt while copying the sound gorillas make. “Oo-oo…” For some reason, Joker looks dejected. “Gorillas don’t actually say ‘oo-oo’ like that. Watch your new friend more closely, and keep the improv to a minimum, please.” “Rista, stop fooling around.” Seiya’s distant voice reverberates. Even Cerceus raises his voice and expresses his disapproval. “Yeah! What do you think you’re doing, making up noises?! We want to see you imitate a gorilla! Not make up your own original gorilla character!” “…?! When I get out of here, you’re deeeeeead, Cerceus!!” He sure knows how to piss me off. Driven over the edge, I grab on to the cage’s bars and begin violently shaking them while glaring at him. How dare he mock anyone, let alone me!! “Phew! I’d hate to be that gorilla right now! Scaaary!” “I-it’s hard to believe she’s a goddess. Okay! Just follow my instructions!” Joker watches the gorilla while giving me orders. “First, walk around the cage just like the gorilla.” I follow behind the gorilla with a forward-leaning posture until she suddenly stops and starts beating her chest. W-wow… I had no idea the real thing sounded so nice… “Okay, Goddess, your turn!” “…” I beat my chest with both hands, but it doesn’t sound as nice as when the gorilla did it, and my breasts jiggle from side to side. I imitated a fish-person back in Ixphoria after being turned into one, but this time I still look like myself, which makes this even more embarrassing than it has to be. “Good! Now eat a banana!” “Munch, munch, munch…” “Groom yourself for lice next!” “I don’t have any lice!” Prrrt! “Okay, now fart!” “What do I look like, a whoopee cushion?!” “Eat another banana!” “Munch, munch, munch…” I actually like bananas, so I savor every bite. The gorilla, on the other hand, seems to have gotten tired of peeling halfway through, so she stuffs the rest of it down her throat, peel and all. “All right, Goddess! Eat the peel, too!” “Seriously?!” Why do I, a goddess, have to eat a banana with the peel still on? Wait, Ristarte. Remember the past. You ate a death worm! A banana peel is nothing compared to that! I can do this! Munch… Blech! It’s so bitter! Banana peels are bitter! Unable to stomach it, I immediately vomit, and tears roll down my cheeks, thanks to my compounded mental anguish. Ugh… Why me…?! Cerceus and Seiya are probably laughing at me as I make a fool of myself in my underwear! I glance over in their direction, only to see absolute pity in their eyes. “I can’t watch this anymore.” “I know what you mean, Seiya. It’s like watching a stand-up comedian who keeps bombing.” “…?! Stop looking at me like that!” “Goddess! You have to imitate the gorilla!” …I wonder how long I’ve been doing this. I continue to act like a gorilla for quite a while after that. By the time I start forgetting I’m a goddess and actually start to believe I’m a gorilla, Joker suddenly claps. “Phew! Thank you very much! I’ve received tons of HP! You were a marvelous gorilla!” “Just let me out of here already! We’re done, right?” “Yep. We can begin now. Come here.” After I leap out of the cage and swiftly get back into my dress, Joker waves me over. However, Seiya grabs Joker’s shoulder and stops him. “Hold on. I think you’re confused. She’s not going to be learning your skill. I am.” “What?! Oh, really?! If I knew that, I wouldn’t have pushed her so hard to mimic that gorilla! Well, that was pretty pointless, huh?” “…?! Aaaaaaaah!!” Joker ignores my scream and faces Seiya. “I don’t know if a human will be able to do it, but let me show you how it’s done.” Ugh! What is wrong with this clown?! …Hold up! Is Seiya going to have to act like a gorilla now? I kind of want to see that… “Should I go inside the cage with the gorilla, too?” “No, you don’t have to do anything ridiculous like that.” …?! I’m going to murder this stupid clown!! But despite saying Seiya doesn’t have to Mimic the gorilla, Joker walks inside the cage and brings the gorilla out. Then, while maintaining a smile, he grabs the whip at his waist and… “What the…?!” He whips the gorilla’s stomach! The violent lash echoes along with the sound of flesh tearing, causing the gorilla to groan in a deep voice. Blood soon escapes her wound and begins dripping onto the floor. “Wh-what’s wrong with you?! Don’t hurt her!” “Then why don’t you heal her, Goddess of Healing?” “I don’t need you to tell me that! Man, this clown is such a scumbag!” I approach the whimpering gorilla and start using a healing spell on her wound. “Everything’s okay now…” Before I even know it, however, Joker is standing next to me with his hands over the gorilla’s wound as well. When I look over, I see a rainbow aura flowing from his body, which I had never seen before. “Interesting. Okay, I can do it, too, now.” “Y-you can do what now?” A pale light suddenly flows from Joker’s hands just like mine. I-is he…?! I stop healing the gorilla for a moment, which confirms my suspicions. Despite pausing my spell, her wound is still healing! “No way! How are you able to Mimic a deity’s skill like that?! What’s the trick?!” “There is no trick. This is just what I do.” “It appears to transcend magic theory similar to how Valkyrie’s Gate of Valhalla transcends causality.” Seiya mutters to himself, causing Joker to raise his arms into the air with an expression of clear admiration. “Wow! You even know about Gate of Valhalla!” “The Goddess of Destruction taught it to me in the spirit world a while back.” “That’s amazing! Maybe you really can learn my special move, even though you’re a human!” Joker seems excited, but I’m more surprised that he knows about Gate of Valhalla. Valkyrie is the second highest–ranking deity in the spirit world, so maybe she’s well known in the underworld as well? “All right, then. First, let’s have you Mimic Rista’s healing.” “What?! But that’s literally impossible! I know Seiya’s amazing, but he’s not going to be able to use my healing magic! Even Aria said so!” “The underworld’s abilities aren’t bound by the rules of the spirit world. You know that firsthand, since you saw how Xul Luxu’s special move allowed me to learn ice magic.” “B-but…!” “Just shut up and watch, Gorista.” “Who are you calling ‘Gorista’?! I’m not even acting like a gorilla anymore!” Joker’s lips curl with amusement as he says to Seiya: “Let me give you some of my aura before we begin. First, you need to be able to form this rainbow aura and maintain it.” “I see.” Seiya stares hard at Cerceus and me. “I need to focus while I train. Rista, come back tomorrow. You too, Cerceus.” “O-okay…” Not wanting to get in the way as usual, I quietly take my leave. When Cerceus and I return to Joker’s circus tent the next day, Seiya is facing Joker while sitting in the lotus position. His hands are forming a mudra. I jump…because a rainbow aura is already flowing from Seiya’s hands. “You already learned how to form the rainbow aura?!” “Yes. You just gradually change the hues from red to blue, then to green, and so on. Once you understand the basics, it’s easy.” “He figured it out way faster than I thought he would. Pretty amazing for a human.” W-well, this is Seiya we’re talking about. Looking back, he’s probably always had a natural aptitude for Mimicry… “All right, then. Now that the Goddess is here, let’s have you actually try to Mimic her healing magic.” But when Joker grabs his whip and starts walking toward the gorilla’s cage, Seiya stops him. “If you need a gorilla, then you might as well use this one.” Seiya then unsheathes his sword and slashes Cerceus across the back before anyone can say anything. Cerceus screams.