Chapter 51

Daiya Oomine 09/11 FRI 10:00 PM Aya Otonashi, the older sister of Maria Otonashi, is dead. At least, according to the family registry. I learned about this before I was pulled into the Game of Indolence. I had been investigating Otonashi, hoping to find some clue on how to better use my Box. Maria Otonashi. She was the second daughter born to Michishige Otonashi, an executive at a major finance company. She belonged to a family of four—her father, Michishige; her mother, Yukari; an older sister, Aya; and Maria herself—who lived in a house in an upper-class neighborhood of Hamako Prefecture. Maria’s parents were quite a few years apart in age, with her father nearing a ripe sixty around the time she was fourteen, whereas her mother was still only thirty-five. It also turned out that Michishige had married three times, with Yukari being his third wife. I can imagine that that alone would make for some complicated family relationships, but Maria’s relationship with Aya was especially so. The two sisters had different mothers. The one who gave birth to Aya wasn’t Yukari but rather Michishige’s previous wife. What’s more, big sister Aya was still only three months older than Maria, so they were also in the same year of school. That being the case, Michishige had Aya and Maria attend different elementary and middle schools to avoid causing a stir among their classmates. The two were apparently polar opposites. Aya, the elder sister, was a student who stood out at every turn. She was one of the best in her class in both study and athletics, and she was always the center of attention. Aya was entrusted with important roles like student council president almost as a matter of course, and there wasn’t a student in her school who didn’t know her name. On the other hand, her younger sister, Maria, was a reserved and inconspicuous student. She was often picked on in elementary school, perhaps because she never fought back. This was probably why she frequently stayed home from school, claiming to have a headache or stomachache, and even when she did go, she would be holed up in the school infirmary instead of participating. Word has it her grades weren’t all that great, either, but I think that almost goes without saying. But the one who proved to be a problem child for her teachers wasn’t Maria, the poor student who disliked going to school and kept to herself. Aya was a model pupil on the surface, but she was a handful. When you are trying to guide a student, trouble can occur when she excels too much—all the more so when the student understands the situation and goes out of her way to show off her abilities rather than downplaying them. Aya was more knowledgeable about each subject than her instructors and wouldn’t hesitate to point out any mistake they made. She would resolve incidents of bullying by suggesting a more effective method than those of her teachers. When an argument arose, Aya would shoot down the adults who were supposed to be the peacekeepers. Thanks to all of this, it became evident that Aya’s teachers were not as smart as she was. It was so obvious, even the other students could tell. Students don’t respect teachers who aren’t as intelligent as they are. Because of Aya, the teachers lost their authority as grown-ups, and any class with her in it was consistently unruly because no one would obey the instructor. It wasn’t a typical sort of unruliness, either, but something deeper and more unsettling. This much was plain from the severity of the problems that occurred. For example, you could look at the injuries and attempted suicides in the classes to which Aya belonged. There were also three teachers who quit after interacting with her. One began suffering mental illness, one became violent with a student and injured them, and one became so obsessed with his pupil Aya that he began borderline stalking her. All the same, despite their different mothers and opposite symmetry, Aya and Maria were by all accounts on very good terms. They apparently called each other regularly during breaks at school, and on days off, they were seen hanging out together hand in hand. A classmate of Aya’s, who had been around the two of them while they were together, had this to say: “They were super-close. They looked totally different from friends or sisters… Maybe twins? That’s not quite it, either. I guess the closest thing would be…like they were lovers.” As far as I could find, there wasn’t anything grave about their relationship. Considering the convoluted state of their family, they didn’t have any major problems at home, either. Aya’s mother had gotten a divorce because of Maria’s birth, but they had no real trouble with her, since they had been sure to make solid financial arrangements. Their father, Michishige, was well aware that their family was not normal and thus kept a watchful eye over the household. Of course, these are answers I was able to find just by asking around. I won’t know the truth of things like what actually went on within the family unless I dig much deeper. But I’m confident in saying there wasn’t any familial breakdown that would have been readily apparent to someone on the outside, as in the case of Ryu Miyazaki and Riko Asami. All the same, there is no denying that this family no longer exists. In the end, the other three members aside from Maria met their untimely deaths in a car accident. I don’t know much about the wreck. It was a head-on collision between two passenger vehicles, but the other driver is dead, and without any witnesses, no one knows the details of the incident. Regardless, the rest of the family aside from Maria, who was at home alone, was killed. That is an incontrovertible fact. Maria Otonashi was all on her own. As someone who struggled to open herself to anyone but her family, Maria Otonashi was utterly and truly alone. After she received her inheritance and Michishige’s younger brother Kiyohiko became her legal guardian, Maria disappeared. That’s pretty much everything I was able to dig up about Maria Otonashi. I have no idea how Maria Otonashi came across the miracle of the Boxes. I also don’t know why she wanted to become someone who made wishes come true, or how she got ahold of the Misbegotten Happiness. Nevertheless, there’s no way the loss of her family didn’t have some connection. The deaths of her loved ones drove Maria mad, planting the seeds of her abnormally self-sacrificing mentality. That in turn created the aloof and detached girl we know today. What’s more, she was presented with an opportunity that would lead her to perfect this persona. Within the repeating world of the Rejecting Classroom, Maria had an entire life’s worth of time at her disposal. Maybe Maria believed that if she could become Aya, her all-too-perfect older sister, her wish would be granted. And indeed, she did transform in her attempt to assume Aya’s identity. Yeah. I had all that figured out, so I suppose I should have discovered O’s true nature much sooner. …Well, to be honest, I shouldn’t have discovered it at all. I was never meant to connect O with something so mundane as her family. The thing about enigmas is that the more you understand them, the less enigmatic they become. You’ll never be able to use a Box to the fullest unless you keep it at arm’s length, accept it blindly, and give up on trying to comprehend it. For something inexplicable, you should never seek out any meaning beyond its inherent mystery. But I despise that kind of unconditional acceptance. For me, it’s the most difficult thing to do. Yep, it was as simple as that. Shutting off my brain ran contrary to my wish, so there’s no way I could do it. That’s why I created limitations for my Box that left me unable to wield it properly. I suppose I should think about the trade-off: I was able to make Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime realistic for me. At any rate, it was only a matter of time before I pieced together O’s true nature. In a twist that’s almost too simple, the name O is just the initial for “Otonashi.” And considering how Maria started going by her older sister’s name, I’m sure I’ve interpreted things correctly. O’s name is— —Aya Otonashi. Otonashi, Yuri Yanagi, and I are within the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes, just as before. The Box takes the form of a red movie theater. The impossible, unreal cleanliness of this place is putting me under slowly increasing pressure, as if it’s trying to eliminate my human filth. It’s an ongoing attack meant to wear down my mind and put an end to my wish. Amid this pressure, I ponder something that has been bothering me. This is strange. I look around. The curved passage covered in immaculate red carpet connects to four theaters. On the electric sign hanging in the middle of the lobby we are currently in is written the message THE SCREENING OF REPEAT, RESET, RESET HAS ENDED. I’ve been forced to watch three movies so far: Breaking of Close Ties, A 60.5-Foot Gulf, and Repeat, Reset, Reset. They presented my past from the perspectives of Miyuki Karino, Haruaki Usui, and Maria Otonashi, respectively. Expertly edited to make me suffer, these films were an attack, a screening of my sins. There are four theaters, which means there’s one more movie left. Its title is 15 Years Old and Earrings, running from ten thirty PM to midnight. If I don’t resolve this today, my defeat is certain. But this is strange. I thought I had already taken care of Kazu. “Oomine, what’s with that look?” someone asks as I scowl. …No, I probably shouldn’t call this girl “Maria” now that she’s done away with her demure past self. “Aya, I have a question.” I use her other name instead, and oddly enough, it feels right. Yeah, I guess that’s how it should feel. When we first met within the Rejecting Classroom, “Aya Otonashi” was her only name. The girl with me now is the Aya Otonashi she built to pursue her ideals over the decades in that time loop. I couldn’t have called her Maria while the world was still on repeat. That name was one she said purely on a lark, a false name that should have been lost to oblivion. “Maria Otonashi” never existed in that world, and Aya never intended for her to, either. That she did was a miracle only Kazu could have brought about, as someone who was able to retain his memories in that world. You could say Kazu threw a monkey wrench into Aya Otonashi’s plans, changing her fate. I, on the other hand, was no miracle worker. It was impossible for me to hold on to the name Maria through the repetitions. For me, she has always been “Aya Otonashi,” even if she originally borrowed the name from her older sister. With no particular reaction to my calling her Aya, she asks, “What’s your question?” I tell her about the discrepancy. “Why hasn’t the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes ended?” Aya frowns. “What’re you talking about? That’s simple. It just means Kazuki Hoshino hasn’t destroyed the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes.” “But don’t you see what I’m getting at? Why hasn’t Kazu done that? He should have been heartbroken the moment you stopped being Maria Otonashi. He would have given up the fight almost as a matter of course, don’t you think? Why is the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes still around?” Yes, this fight should have been settled. After all, Aya Otonashi is here. Kazu should be in total despair. Why hasn’t this ended? Why hasn’t his heart been broken? “Oomine, you’re completely clueless. Somehow, you don’t understand just how terrifying Kazuki Hoshino is.” “What do you mean?” Aya replies without a change in expression. “It’s easy. His heart isn’t broken.” “What?” That doesn’t make sense. Kazu’s mission is to bring Maria Otonashi a normal life, free of the Boxes. But he would have seen the futility of his endeavor the moment she arrived here in the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes and decided to erase “Maria Otonashi.” It’s no longer possible. Surely he must feel it even more acutely than I do. So why is his heart still intact? “Are you suggesting that Kazu still thinks there’s something he can do for you?” “Exactly. He’s not normal. He will never give up, as long as his purpose has not vanished. He could have zero chance of achieving it, but it wouldn’t matter. I believe the very idea of throwing in the towel has never even existed for him.” He has no concept of giving up…? That’s not possible. And yet, the truth is that the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes is still in effect. Plus, I can’t imagine Aya being mistaken about Kazu’s nature. Meaning it’s the truth. Which means… “…This is bad.” From the beginning, this battle has been about breaking Kazu’s heart. With Aya as she is now, he has no chance of completing his mission. He has failed for certain. However he wants to think about it, I can’t see it any other way. But just because Kazu has lost doesn’t mean I’ve won. At this rate, it’s going to be a loss for both of us. If Kazu isn’t broken and the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes doesn’t come to a halt, then the fourth movie, 15 Years Old and Earrings, will be shown. Once it ends, my Box will be destroyed, regardless of whether I want it to or not. If that happens, then it goes without saying that my plans to use Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime to mass-produce dog-people and heighten people’s individual sense of ethics will go up in a puff of smoke. As things stand now, I’m going to lose, too. Why is this happening? This was going according to plan. I neutralized Yuri Yanagi right away when she was sent in here as an assassin, and I successfully summoned Aya here to me. Nevertheless, I don’t have any more cards to play. I haven’t failed, yet I’m on the brink of defeat… What the hell is with that guy? Is he like some boxer who’s immune to punches? Now I see why O thinks I don’t stand a chance against him. “Otonashi.” Yuri Yanagi finally speaks. I listen closely, thinking whatever she says could lead to a breakthrough. “You used to call him by just his first name, but now you’ve stopped.” But it’s just the most meaningless crap ever. It pisses me off. “What the hell, bitch? You wanna know now that they’ve split up? You think it’s your big chance to hook up with Kazu? You’re a real pain in the ass, so just keep your mouth shut, you stupid slut!” “Whooooa! Where do you get off talking like that?! You’re awful! You’ve been acting like I’m not even here this entire time, too!” “That’s what you do with the characters who’ve played out their role. Aya has been at odds with Kazu all along, so you’re worthless now. You’re worthless in this story, and yet you insist on ruining the pacing with your babbling, you empty-eyed teru teru bozu doll. Go pray for fair weather somewhere else.” “S-so I’m getting in the way just by talking?!” There’s no bigger waste of time than dealing with her, so I ignore her retort. But it is true that Aya has changed how she refers to Kazu. Maybe she can’t be so familiar now that she considers him an enemy. An enemy. An enemy, huh…? “By the way, Aya, I’m just checking, but can I assume this means you’re on my side now? Kazu’s going to keep hounding you until he breaks, right? You need to see him lose.” “Yes, I do need him beaten. Kazuki Hoshino is not someone I can afford to ignore. There’s probably no way of fighting him, but that doesn’t mean I can lower my guard. I still see him as the greatest obstacle to my goals.” “I suppose you’re right. Working with me for the time being is your best option in my mind, so how about it?” Aya is silent for a moment. “…I can’t accept your Box,” she says, “your Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime. The way you sacrifice others goes against my principles. You and I are alike, yes, but I cannot accept your methods.” “…So you’re saying you won’t join forces with me?” If not, there’s no way forward for me. Kazu still hasn’t given up the fight, even under these circumstances. No matter how you slice it, if I’m going to break Kazu, then getting Aya involved is a must. “No. I’ll help you.” That’s why her reply inevitably puts my mind at ease. “There’s no doubt that crushing him comes before anything else. I just want to say, though, that I am only working toward my own ends, not trying to save you. For example, you may have a time limit, but I don’t. The difference may not work in your favor.” “Same goes for me. I may betray you depending on how things go.” “Then I don’t see a problem.” “Great. So let me ask you something. I’m not clear on how to break Kazu. But you know, don’t you, Aya? Tell me. What’s the most effective way for me to attack Kazu?” “……” Aya falls silent. There are two reasons why I asked this question. The first is simple. Aya understands Kazu inside and out, so she can concoct a better means of getting at him than I can. The other is to confirm that Aya really has severed her attachments to Kazu. It may not show on the surface, but with their relationship being what it was, I wouldn’t be surprised if she still had some feelings for him. The last threads of her bond with Kazu could even lead her to put forth weak ideas. In that case, she would become a hindrance. The best thing to do would be to get as much use out of her as I can but keep her at a distance. But Aya’s answer is: “I need to forget about Kazuki Hoshino.” Not even a shred of affection for him left. It’s obvious in her reply. “If I use the Misbegotten Happiness on someone he knows, then I’ll forget all about him. It’ll be like what we built in the world of repetition never existed. That’s what I need to do.” Her idea— Her idea is guaranteed to succeed. Kazu still holds on to hope without breaking because he knows he is special to Aya. Put another way, it’s all he has. Without that, his last hope would be gone. So he needs to become a stranger to her. Someone who isn’t special to her in the slightest. Still— “……You…” My hands are trembling at what Aya has just said. I mean, how can she say such a thing so calmly? The two of them cared for each other. It was a powerful interdependence. A firm bond. A connection so profound that without it, the two of them would become completely different people. And now Aya Otonashi is saying she’s going to just throw it away. “Are you really okay with that?” I ask without thinking, but I already know the answer. She is. She could never mention a plan like this if she weren’t. Aya must be some superhuman, her emotions immune even to forgetting about Kazu. A monster on some level I can’t fathom. But instead, she says: “I’m not.” “…What?” My thoughts screech to a halt. That was completely unexpected. Much, much more unexpected than a stony, superhuman declaration that she didn’t mind at all. “Of course I can’t be okay with it. If I were, I never would have done what I did to stay with Kazuki Hoshino all this time. If I refuse to admit he was important to me, I’d just be running away. There’s no way I can face him if I don’t accept this.” It will be painful to forget Kazuki Hoshino, Aya is saying clearly. I don’t understand. “Then—” Why is she able to suggest such a thing? Why is she able to suggest an idea where the biggest sacrifice is her own feelings? “But what he is to me is not an issue.” “…Why?!” “Because my feelings will not interfere whatsoever.” “” My breath catches in my throat. Aya said it without the slightest hint of doubt. “If I feel anything in conflict with my mission, I’ll ignore it. I am not so weak-minded as that. Nothing within me can shake my own resolve.” I know when I see how distant she is. I know when I see that she is so detached from her own emotions that they hardly seem to be her own. She’s telling the truth. “I’m not human. I exist solely to grant the wishes of others—I am a Box.” She’s speaking figuratively, of course. Aya is a human with a body—but this is the level of her resolve to live the life she does. And that’s exactly what she’s doing. Aya will not accept any other meaning to her life aside from fulfilling her purpose. She will never allow herself to get in the way of her goal. The same goes for those important to her, and even her own death. She’s a machine. An effigy. An aberration. A Box. I strive to be the same. That’s how I’ve tried to create my ideal world. But seeing how successfully she’s removed herself from humanity, can I really say I would be capable of the same? “…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………” —No way. I could understand if she had said yes, forgetting Kazu wouldn’t bother her. If numbing my heart was all it took, then I think I might still have it in me, too. This is different, though. Aya Otonashi is capable of achieving her ends without forsaking her normal emotions. I can’t do that. It’s impossible. When it comes down to it, I’m human. In fact, I— “Ngh.” The instant I think this, the shadows of crime within me go berserk. Yes. In fact, the pain of these shadows of crime, which I myself created, may already be too much for me. The shadows of crime I brought into myself in order to Rule will rage within me if I give them an opening. It’s gradually growing worse. I clench my teeth. Agh, dammit, it’s like cannonballs shooting through my veins. Why is so much pain bubbling up within me? And this is just the suffering I’ve created for myself. Why am I so mediocre? Why am I just some nobody who can’t even cause a miracle? I touch my earrings. I want to change. I don’t want to be that stupid, naive boy again. I want to continue struggling against this horrible world. But… But… But the truth is— Light. Darkness. The sea. The world. A business hotel. The womb. Hands clasped together. A crying face. A shutout victory. The world. Body heat. Cold. Cold. The tingling of a left hand through a catcher’s mitt. Differences in ability. Envy. Dreams. Confessions. Checking someone’s mood. Cigarettes. Bruises. Trembling hands. Fear. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Crime. Punishment. Justice. Crime for the sake of justice. Earrings. My breath still ragged, I touch my earrings one more time. When did I get these piercings again? As I ponder this, the one I hate more than anyone else forces their way into my head. Miyuki Karino. Rino was incapable of reflecting on her actions. She had no sense that she had done anything wrong. I had no choice but to make her understand; I wouldn’t feel right until I made sure she knew the full weight of what she’d done to Kiri. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to stand the injustice of the world. So I gave her what she deserved. I refused to forgive Rino until I heard her express her sincere regret. All she could do was offer an empty “I’m sorry.” That’s why I never forgave her, nor had any reason to do so. “Please tell me what I need to do,” she had said. Why can’t you think of that on your own? “I love you. I did it because I’ve always loved you,” she’d said. Shut the hell up. Are you trying to flatter me or something? No, that’s not it. She’s saying it’s all my fault. You’re letting me know that it was my existence that hurt Kiri, aren’t you, you piece of shit? Before I knew it, I was hitting Rino. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. It didn’t seem real, turning violent toward someone I’d known since childhood. It distanced me from my reality. While my body registered the physical impact, the sensation was removed from me, as if it were happening to someone else. The person battering Rino wasn’t me. It was someone else within me, whom I could no longer control. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Don’t be stupid. That’s not how you beg forgiveness from someone who’s hurting you! It didn’t resolve anything. It didn’t resolve anything. There was no way to resolve it. Without a Box, I was truly powerless. I knew. I knew what had happened to Rino in the hotel. I knew she had feelings for me. I even knew all the best things about her, like how she was cheerful and easy to talk to, how she was so openhearted with others, how she could be happy when it was time to be happy and sad when it was time to be sad. I knew she wasn’t a bad person. But I couldn’t forgive her. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. That created the discord inside me. I shouldn’t have hit Rino, but I also had no other choice. So I split up my image of Rino and erased the part of her that caused me trouble. I forgot she was my old friend. That was how I condemned her. I dyed my hair. I pierced my ears. I longed to forsake the “Daiya Oomine” I once was and become someone else. If my affable nature was what had led Kiri to such a fate, then I would do away with that version of me. I know; you don’t need to tell me. I’m no superhuman. I can never be an “Aya Otonashi.” The only difference between me and everyone else is that I can look at myself from a distance. That’s enough for me. —That’s enough for me. I finally fight down the shadows of crime and regain control of myself. “Is something wrong, Oomine?” “A-are you all right?” Aya and Yanagi are talking to me. “……It’s nothing.” …What the hell am I getting so upset about? Yeah, some parts of me are still weak. No need to dwell on it. If my emotions are going to sway me, then I’ll just have to avert my eyes and ignore them. I don’t have to take them head-on like Aya. I pieced that together long ago, which is why I’ve been doing it all along. It’s why I’ve been able to cut off my emotions in favor of logic. That’s my weapon. I should be proud of my abilities. “Aya,” I say, now that I’ve collected myself, “going back to what we were talking about earlier. I agree that we should use your Misbegotten Happiness to take down Kazu. Have you already worked out the details?” “No, not yet. I only just came up with the idea now, after all.” That makes sense. Scheming is surprisingly difficult for Aya Otonashi. Those squeaky-clean values of hers prevent her from adopting an underhanded approach. Yep, even Aya has weaknesses. There’s no use comparing my abilities with hers. “Oomine, what do you think?” “Losing your memories is pretty much guaranteed to get good results. But even if you do erase your memory, it’ll be pointless if we don’t let Kazu know about it, right?” “Won’t he find out on his own, even if we don’t go to the trouble of telling him?” “That may work for you, but I don’t have time. I have to show Kazu that you don’t even remember him.” “Hmm, I suppose you’re right. And that means—” “Yeah. I need you to use the Misbegotten Happiness right in front of him.” “I can enter Boxes, but I can’t escape them. If I’m here, then Kazuki Hoshino—” “I’ll call him into the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes.” That is the first prerequisite for breaking his spirit. “What will it take to get him to come here, though?” she asks. “From where he stands, it’s better to destroy your Box from a safe distance. All he has to do is wait for barely two hours. I can’t imagine him taking the risk of coming here, you know?” “I can take care of that if I use Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime.” “Then who should I use the Misbegotten Happiness on?” “That depends on what Kazu does, but as of right now, there are three of us in here. Which means the best candidate has already been decided.” I shift my gaze to Yanagi. “Huh?” “Lucky you, Yuri Yanagi. There was a brief period when you had no reason to be here, but now you get a new role.” “Um? Um? Oh…” Yanagi’s face goes pale as she catches my drift. Seeing this, Aya steps in front of Yanagi as if to protect her. “…Sorry, but I have no intention of using my Misbegotten Happiness on anyone who doesn’t want help. Not even to defeat Kazuki Hoshino.” So that’s how it is. I guess that part of her won’t change even when her resolve is this strong. She’s still unable to sacrifice another, no matter how inefficient it makes her plans. …No, that isn’t surprising, in a sense. If she weren’t like that, it would go against her personal mission of making others happy. “I see. Well then, I guess we’ll have to find someone else for the job.” I immediately realize I won’t break her on this, so I offer a perfunctory comment to bring us to a temporary resolution. Aya gives a small nod of understanding. Truthfully, I hold Yanagi’s shadow of a crime within me, so I can make her beg for salvation just like that. She was hurt badly by the Game of Indolence; if I dig at those wounds, Yanagi will probably be quick to ask for deliverance. Her sins are weightier than the average person’s, after all. Of course, there’s no need to fixate solely on Yanagi. If all we’re doing is erasing Aya’s memories of Kazu, then we can use anyone who knows him, no problem. However, I can’t place my hopes on an uncertain third party when I don’t know if they will come or not. If I want a guaranteed sacrifice, it would seem I really do need Yanagi. Once I’ve thought about this, I return to the conversation. “I’ll summon Kazu into the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes by the end of the fourth movie, 15 Years Old and Earrings. Then we’ll use your Misbegotten Happiness on someone he knows, right in front of him. If that part’s set in stone, then I guess the issue is how.” “Right. You say it’s going to work out somehow, but how do you plan to pull it off?” “Let’s see…” How about I threaten to kill Aya if he doesn’t call off the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes? The question is whether that would actually persuade him, but chances are high that Kazu would play along for Aya’s sake even if he doubted the threat itself. So should I relay the message to him using Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime? I’d love it if I could tell him without any trouble, but it could prove surprisingly difficult to convey it to him reliably in the short time I have left. Damn, if only O would help me, I could be sure he would know— Do you have a wish? —No, hold on. I’m forgetting something huge, aren’t I? How did Kazu get ahold of the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes in the first place? It goes without saying. He got O to give it to him. Kazu went to O for help in order to defeat me. O is on his side, not mine. So we know O has already given Kazu a Box. As long as the two of them aren’t at odds in some way I don’t know about, I have to keep in mind that O might come to Kazu’s aid. Just now, I considered threatening to kill Aya, so let’s say I go through with it. Even if I do succeed in delivering the message to Kazu, can I be sure O won’t screw me over by giving him more information—telling him the threat is a bluff, perhaps? Can I rule that out? Of course not. It’s more than possible. In that case, I have no choice but to outwit O as well. O isn’t perfect, but it seems she can see what goes on in the world. There’s a chance she might overhear if I go blabbing my strategy to Aya. However, O can’t read minds. If I keep quiet, I should be able to keep my intentions hidden from her. Just like with a human. In short, I’ll conceal my real plans from Aya, trick O into thinking the plot puts Kazu at an advantage, and then get Kazu to come to the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes of his own volition. That’s what it comes down to. …What the hell? That’s way too hard. “Oomine, you’ve gone quiet. Does that mean you can’t come up with anything?” I peer into Aya’s face. It’s blank. Her emotions are perfectly repressed. I suddenly recall a few lines from Repeat, Reset, Reset. “I know what results from asking a Box for such a wish. The outcome is— “—ruin. “But then what will I do if you learn of the Boxes anyway and obtain one? I won’t feel inspired to steal it from you. I may not stand against you, like I would against other owners. “We will be partners again—No, we won’t. I won’t work with you. I don’t want to interfere with your affairs, either. I guess we’ll both just be moving in the same direction. We were never meant to be partners. Our original relationship— “—was as kindred spirits.” “……I almost miss it,” I whisper without thinking. What’s that supposed to mean? I wonder a second later. What she said to me in the movie—in that reset—pops into my head and then really sticks with me. —Just what is “Aya Otonashi” to me? For Kazu, “Aya Otonashi” is the enemy. Kazu wants to make Aya—no, in this situation it’s more correct to say “Maria”—a part of his normal life. That’s why “Aya Otonashi,” the self-proclaimed Box trying to relinquish her humanity, is his greatest obstacle. But for me, it’s the opposite: “Maria Otonashi” poses the problem for me. “……” Problem? Why? Will it be troublesome because Aya and I have similar goals? Because we’re working together? Because she was once my partner even in the Rejecting Classroom? …I get the feeling it’s something different. None of these fit the bill. I need her on a much deeper level. So it must have something to do with my mission. I think it’s fine if I’m not the one to see this mission through. In the near future, I will collapse under the weight of my sins. When I do, my mission will most likely still be incomplete. I’m okay with that as long as there is someone like Shindo to carry on my will so that the world does eventually change. I don’t care if I’m cast aside like garbage or despised. I don’t even care if I die. So— Yeah…I’ve got it. I’ve figured out what Aya Otonashi is to me. Aya Otonashi is my hope. She wishes for a world where everyone is happy. If that becomes reality, my purpose will be achieved at the same time. When her wish comes true, so does mine. And seeing her gives me hope that her wish, a far more difficult wish than mine, might very well become reality. Her detachment. Her nobility. Her righteousness. Her honesty. They will save even my wish. No, it’s not just me. They will save every owner. She is hope to all of us. That’s why she has taken O’s name. She will grant the wishes of everyone. She is a hallowed entity who must be protected at all costs. That’s why I cannot forgive him. I cannot forgive Kazuki Hoshino for trying to stamp down our wishes for the sake of his trite goal—his selfish desire—to be with “Maria.” We have to shatter Kazu utterly. “I did come up with one plan.” To that end, I will deceive Aya and O and everyone else so that I can plunge Kazu into despair. “Maybe we should use Kasumi Mogi.” Kazu. I will never let you take back the zeroth Maria. Kazuki Hoshino 09/11 FRI 10:03 PM What’s the best way to describe this sensation? Nothing has changed about me, yet I’m clearly different from before. All I’ve really done is come to understand myself. As if I had read my own user’s manual. That was enough to alter this world, though. A strange feeling is running through me and leaving me refreshed, as if someone has injected menthol into my blood. My thoughts are growing more and more organized as things fall into place. The fog hanging over the world is lifting. It’s getting clearer. And clearer. The world opens up before me. Now I can focus solely on helping Maria. Now that I have the Empty Box, I’m transformed. “Whoa, what happened to her?” That’s the first thing out of Haruaki’s mouth when he reaches the tunnel beneath the elevated tracks, by the embankment outside of downtown. His face is as white as a sheet. He’s looking at Iroha, who’s still unconscious and sitting against the wall covered with graffiti so bad it doesn’t even qualify as street art. “H-hey, Hosshi, don’t tell me you killed her or something?” “She’s alive.” “M-man, what’s with all that blood…?” True, there is red liquid on the ground and wall. On Iroha’s face and clothes as well. “It’s fake.” “F-fake blood? Really?” Haruaki squats down and touches the red liquid on the ground, then sniffs it on his hand. After grimacing for a moment, he nods slightly several times in agreement that the blood is indeed fake. “I-it definitely isn’t blood. Still, what’s up with all this? Why is she out cold?” Haruaki peers into Iroha’s face, then checks her pulse and breathing. Her face is illuminated by the lantern, but I can’t see it from my position. What did I do to Iroha? Explaining could take a while, so I settle for answering the first half of his questions about how things ended up this way. “Daiya and Iroha came up with a scheme to show Maria I betrayed her. I completely fell for it, and now Maria is inside the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes.” “Which means she must have found out about Daiya’s Box, huh?” “Yeah.” Haruaki knows the situation is grave. He scowls, stands up, and gives me a hard look. “Why didn’t you call me before that happened? Don’t you think you can count on me?” It comes across almost as a threat. As tall as Haruaki is, I can certainly feel his intensity. “You’ve got it wrong. I couldn’t call you because they warned me to come alone,” I insist, but then I realize that wasn’t the only reason. “…Actually, I wouldn’t have been able to call you even if they hadn’t.” “Then why?!” Haruaki yells. He’s upset he wasn’t able to help me. I’m incredibly fortunate. And I’m reassured. I’m truly happy I became friends with Haruaki. “It’s the opposite. The truth is, I didn’t call you because I do count on you.” “Huh?” “I count on you so much, it feels like I’m completely dependent…” If not, I would never have gotten him involved in this. I wouldn’t have to keep beating myself up for teaching him about Boxes. “…I-if you’re counting on me, then why?” “You were with Kokone, right? I wanted you to keep her safe. Do you understand why?” “Oh…” Haruaki scratches his cheek with his finger to hide his embarrassment. “That makes sense… We thought Daiyan was going after Kiri.” “Yeah. Even if he hadn’t threatened me, we would have thought this whole situation was just Daiya’s attempt at a diversion.” Yep, I had believed that Daiya was gunning for Kokone, that she was in greater danger than Maria or I was. And I had good reason to. After all, I’d assumed Daiya would have figured out by then that I wasn’t the owner of the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes. If he did know, then he would try to do something about the real owner before he went for me or Maria. Obviously, he would go after Kokone before Maria. But he didn’t. “So Daiya really hasn’t put two and two together about the owner?” “Seems that way.” The Silver Screen of Broken Wishes is a Box that exists solely to eliminate Daiya’s. He should have picked up on it the moment Yuri entered the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes and the screens continued to show only Daiya’s past. How does he still not realize I’m not the owner? I might have a Box, sure. If worse came to worst, sure—I would want to contact O, get ahold of a Box, and take down Daiya. It would definitely be my last resort, but I have thought about it. But even if I had gotten a Box, I wouldn’t have wished for this. My Box would never have ended up like the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes. I could never create a Box meant entirely to save Daiya alone. I mean, it would be impossible for anyone who wasn’t thinking only of Daiya from the bottom of their heart. It would be impossible for anyone unless they only had eyes for Daiya—unless they were nearly blind to everyone else. That’s definitely not me. Daiya is my friend, and I’d like to think I care for him, but I’m sorry to say that my feelings for him probably aren’t strong enough to let me act so blindly. I could never be so focused on Daiya that I would dedicate a Box’s wish entirely to him. Daiya should understand as much if he ever stopped running away and faced the true owner. But he couldn’t. Why? Because the Box has made him lose sight of himself. If he can’t pinpoint the real owner, it’s obvious he’s in the wrong. If he doesn’t even notice someone who thinks of him so intensely, Daiya is clearly at fault. He is consciously trying to forget this person in his attempt to turn his heart to stone. That’s why he has shut himself off and blinded his own eyes. And yet, he still claims to have some lofty purpose? To be offering his own life up without a second thought, trying to right the world? “……Heh-heh.” It makes me laugh. Ridiculous. The efforts of such a person will never amount to anything. Are you trying to suggest someone who’s closed their eyes can indicate a proper course? They’ll never point in the right direction. They’d only lead people even more astray. And now he means to steal Maria from me? Who the hell does he think he is? “……” I look at the unconscious Iroha, dyed in red. She was wrong, too. She tried to take Maria from me. That’s why I did this to her. I told Haruaki she was alive, which is technically true, but I did rob her of her purpose in life. As her pitiful state now might suggest, she may never fully recover. But who cares? “……Heh-heh-heh.” Yep, I’m going to do the same thing to Daiya, too. Daiya’s despair will likely be even greater than Iroha’s. This wish was originally his own. It’ll be pretty much impossible to bounce back once he knows it’ll never come true. What’s more, Daiya murdered Koudai Kamiuchi. When he can’t run anymore, the reality lying in wait for him is a cruel one. But I’m going to crush him. I don’t give a rat’s ass about the wish of some guy stumbling around in the dark. If the destruction of his Box leads him to a tragic fate, that’s on him. That’s just reaping what you’ve sown, right? So. Hurry up and give Maria back, you blind bastard.