“She would be too much for you.”
“What are you talking about?” replied Shin, finally managing to utter a cohesive sentence. “Why are you bringing up the Raven Consort all of a sudden? She definitely has not stolen my heart.”
“Do you have somebody else in mind, then?” Choyo asked. “No. It’s not that I don’t like Kitsu Tojo—I’m just saying, I’d rather defer this marriage until after her mourning period has concluded.”
“You cannot.” “Why?”
“I don’t want you to cause me any trouble over in the imperial capital,” Choyo said.
Shin was taken aback.
“You didn’t think that word wouldn’t make its way back to me, did you? If you’re part of this family, this region is where you need to be. Marry here. Live out your life here.”
With that, Choyo said no more. He stood up from his seat and exited the room. The man was always like that.
Shin quietly sighed and got to his feet as well. Once he left the room, he went straight outside. Even though he had lived in that house his entire life, it felt so suffocating now.
Vast mulberry fields extended out behind the property. Their leaves had already fallen, leaving nothing but their bare branches to stretch up toward the blue sky. It was a dreary sight.
As a child, Shin was always excited for the beginning of summer to come around since that was when the fruit ripened. He’d grab dark, ripe fruit off branches and put them right in his mouth. He and his younger brothers treated the whole thing as if it was some sort of competitive sport. Back then, Kansa used to scold him for the resulting dark stains around his mouth and on his fingers too.
As he walked through the mulberry fields, memories of those days came flooding back. For some reason, he could feel an ache deep inside his heart. It didn’t help that the winter sky above was such an intense shade of blue that it hurt his eyes.
Then, Shin heard fallen leaves being crunched under someone’s footsteps. He turned in the direction of the sound and saw a young girl. It looked like she was about to run out from behind one of the trees. He didn’t even have a chance to call out to her before she tripped over the tree’s roots in a panic and fell over.
Shin walked up to her and offered her his hand. “Are you all right?”
She was quite young, around fifteen or sixteen—likely only just old enough to have started wearing her hair up. She was fairly well-dressed, so it was unlikely that she was a servant of any kind. She must be a guest, Shin thought—and that was when it clicked.
The girl, though timidly looking down at the ground, was red in the face.
Once Shin had helped her up, the girl bowed and then fled without saying a word.
“A secret rendezvous among the mulberry trees? Very smooth of you, Shin.”
The sudden voice gave Shin a fright. Ko appeared from among the mulberries.
How long has he been there?
“That was Kitsu Tojo, wasn’t it? The head of the Kitsu family arrived a short while ago. He brought her with him.”
“Did he get her to come out here?”
Had he orchestrated a situation for the two of them to meet, and tried to make it look like a coincidence? This thought made Shin feel uncomfortable.
“Well, I don’t know about that… Maybe she just spotted you and decided to chase after you?” Ko suggested.
Even if she had tried to chase after Shin, it still would have been under the head of the family’s instruction. She didn’t seem like the sort of girl who’d act like that on her own volition.
“Still, she’s far too quiet to be the wife of the future head of the Saname clan.” From his words, Ko unsurprisingly already knew about the arrangement.
“Barely any time has passed since the death of her mother,” commented Shin. “Obviously she’s not going to be in the best of spirits.”
“You really are a softy, aren’t you, Shin?”
Shin fell silent. He wasn’t in the mood to play along with his brother’s wisecracks.
Noticing the somber expression on Shin’s face, Ko followed suit. Still, he didn’t seem like he was going to leave either.
Shin had no choice but to speak up. “Did you need something from me?”
“Well, not exactly, but…” Ko sounded uncharacteristically evasive.
“Just tell me,” Shin demanded.
Ko drew closer and whispered, “Doesn’t our father seem unusually irritable?”
Now that his brother mentioned it, Shin had noticed it earlier. “He does…”
“It’s rare for him to let his emotions come to the surface. No, it’s not just rare—I’ve never seen him express what he’s feeling at all.”
That must be an exaggeration, thought Shin—but it was only natural that Ko found the change disconcerting. Shin couldn’t remember their father even looking happy when his siblings were born. He probably didn’t express any joy when I was born either, he thought to himself.
“It’s probably because I didn’t have any worthwhile news to report,” suggested Shin, but Ko just gave him an awkward smile. Shin wasn’t sure what Ko was feeling.
“You need to conduct yourself in a more noble manner, Shin.”
“What do you mean?”
“Our father left you behind in the imperial capital because he trusts you,” Ko said. “He listened to your reports carefully, didn’t he?”
“I stayed there against his wishes,” Shin reminded him.
“If he really wanted to bring you back with him, he could have. The fact that he let you stay means you had his approval.”
Shin went quiet. He didn’t enjoy talking to Ko—his brother always spoke in a clear manner, which just reminded Shin of his own stupidity. The fact that Ko viewed him as his older brother only put more pressure on his shoulders. He couldn’t help but wonder what Ko really thought of him—was he actually making fun of him, deep down? Every time these doubts resurfaced, they chipped away at Shin’s heart.
“Anyway, you always think too negatively. It’s all simpler than you’d expect.” With that, Ko left and headed back toward the house, seemingly exasperated by Shin’s lackluster responses.
Is it really simple?
Shin was well aware that his surly attitude led him to stubbornly warp his perception of the world around him, but that still didn’t mean there was anything he could do about it.
Shin stood stock-still among the withering trees. A cold breeze blew and sent the fallen leaves by his feet flying through the air.