Chapter 3

3 The Interview “I wonder what a normal life is supposed to be like?” An average town… It took me about two weeks to get to Lahti, a settlement that fit my requirements of neither being too much like a city or too much like the countryside. Since we didn’t have a house, Rila and I chose a cheap inn to stay at. It was a little before lunchtime but still after breakfast. “Do you think I know what a normal human life is?” Rila asked as she clung to me naked in bed. “We spend every day like this, eating and having sex in turn… That isn’t bad in its own way, but…even I, a demon lord, know that such a thing isn’t a normal life.” “Still, I think it’s a normal activity for most people.” I ate and slept, then went to sleep with her. It wasn’t hard to imagine that’d be normal for a man to do. The first time we did the deed, I’d asked Rila if she was sure. “I’ve already decided. I want to offer everything to the man who was more powerful than I was. What’s more, you’re a good person.” Her motives almost seemed far-fetched. I just really didn’t understand demonkind’s values. Perhaps listening to my heartbeat, she put her head on my chest. “So this is how humans and demons proliferate… I can see why people do this over and over again…” Rila turned away from me. Her shoulders were slender, and her back was white. For an overwhelmingly powerful demon lord, she looked no different than a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old girl in this state. “You can see? See what, exactly?” I asked. “Sex… It…feels good…,” she said in a whisper like the buzz of a mosquito. Even though she’d been a virgin until just a little while ago, it seemed she’d really taken a liking to this. “Your ears are beet red… Are you all right?” “Oh.” Rila yanked the blanket and made for an escape beneath the covers. Klunk-klunk. Right at that moment, I heard a knock at the door. I immediately touched Rila’s collar and turned her into a cat. “Um? Mr. Argan? Are you in?” Argan… For a second, I wondered who that was; then I recalled it was the surname I’d assumed. Perhaps it was because I’d changed my identity so often, but I was having trouble answering to the last name I’d randomly chosen. “I’ve come to retrieve tonight’s lodging fees.” “Okay, sure. I’ll be right there—” I quickly put on my clothes and opened the door. The daughter of the innkeeper stood in the hall. I paid the fees for the upcoming week in one lump sum. “Thank you very much. And, ummm… There is a slight issue… Um, uh, we’ve heard rather passionate noises every night… And not just at night but sometimes in the afternoon and morning…” When I thought back on it, Rila and I had indulged in our carnal desires regardless of the time of day or night. Mrow. A black cat passed by my feet and left the room. “Huh…? A kitty?” the innkeeper’s daughter asked. “Those noises might’ve been her meowing.” It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. “Oh, what have I done? I can’t believe I made such an embarrassing mistake— I-I’m so sorry.” The girl bobbed in a bow. I smiled gently as if to say, Not at all, and shook my head. “Mr. Argan, what is it that you do?” Hmm, what do I do? “I eat, sleep, and have sex.” “Huh?” Was that not what she wanted to know…? I was sure I’d answered the exact thing I’d been asked. “No! Th-that wasn’t what I meant. I meant for work! What do you do for work? Are you a traveler?” “Oh, right… Work…” One of the things normal men did was work. All I knew was the art of assassination, but regular people did something more akin to the art of earning a living. Truthfully, if I kept spending at the rate I was, I was likely to bottom out pretty soon. King Randolf would probably give me more money if I asked, but that definitely wasn’t normal. “Actually, I’m looking for work…,” I decided. “I thought so! In that case, why don’t you become an adventurer? I hear that the exam isn’t difficult, and if you’re successful, it’s a way to get rich fast.” “I’m not sure about that kind of work… I’m not particularly strong…” I’d seen the escorts of my assassination targets and knew that adventurers didn’t lead normal lives. Truthfully, that sort of occupation could get fairly extreme. The innkeeper’s daughter looked me up and down, then nodded in agreement. “You certainly are thin and slender, Mr. Argan. You’d probably have a hard time with physical labor…” For assassins, the way we carried ourselves, our flexibility, and our dynamism were key. That’s why we eschewed any unnecessary muscle. “Oh! In that case, why don’t you become an employee at the Adventurers Guild? When I walked by the guild building earlier, I saw a recruitment flyer. I don’t think there’s much physical work involved, either.” “That’s it…!” A job like that would allow me to make use of the experiences I’d gained traveling with Almelia and the others. I had knowledge about battling. Giving advice to amateurs was sure to be easy. It was the perfect opportunity, and I wanted to seize upon it before it was too late. Thanking the young woman, I immediately got ready to head out. My sights were set on the Adventurers Guild. Thankfully, I’d learned my way around town during my short stay, so I found the place rather easily. “Welcome to the Adventurers Guild. Will it be a quest today? Or do you need to register as an adventurer?” “No, I came to see the recruitment flyer.” “Oh, are you applying? Branch Managerrrrrr? We have an applicant!” The receptionist flipped around and called for her superior. A long-haired woman poked her face out from the back of the room. Our eyes met. “We’ll conduct the interview here.” She ushered me toward her with a hand. The receptionist smiled and offered a few encouraging words. “Don’t worry—the interview is nothing unusual. Good luck anyway, though!” A normal interview… I see. As someone aiming to be utterly average, it couldn’t have been more perfect. I needed to put some oomph into this. I walked to the room I’d been instructed to go to and knocked on the door. “Please come in.” Entering, I sat myself down on a nearby sofa. The woman who’d been referred to as “Branch Manager” just a few moments before introduced herself as Iris Negan. Her most notable feature was undoubtedly her stern eyes. As far as looks went, she was a slim, beautiful woman in her mid-twenties. She stood around five feet, four inches tall. I introduced myself as well. “I’m Roland Argan, twenty-five. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The age I’d given was chosen at random. According to the members of the party of heroes, I apparently looked to be anywhere from my teens to my thirties. I didn’t know my own age, so I regularly changed it on the spot. It was likely that I was indeed around twenty-five years old, so that was what I told most people, unless there was a reason to lie. The branch manager, Iris, asked me several questions, and I answered them all in kind. “Do you have adventurer experience?” The answer was naturally no. “Any skills?” Unwilling to share details on that matter with someone I’d just met, I instead made something up. “Do you have any operational experience working in other guilds, even if it wasn’t an Adventurers Guild?” That was also a no. Iris the branch manager gave an exasperated sigh. “Listen up. We might be recruiting, but that doesn’t mean we’ll hire just anyone. Types like you are a dime a dozen, not to mention nuisances. Too many people underestimate guild work.” “That’s not my intention at all.” It didn’t seem like Iris would believe me if I told her that I’d defeated a demon lord. Even if she did, that’d be the end of my normal life where no one paid attention to me, so I didn’t volunteer any of that information. This was a problem. Even if I kept my history under wraps, only saying that I’d gone on some adventures and knew a thing or two about monsters, I got the feeling Iris wouldn’t accept it. “Well, it’s all right. Our guild doesn’t care who you are or where you’re from. What’s important is that you excel at something—anything. I wouldn’t mind giving you the gig if you’ve got some kind of talent you can provide.” If that was really the case, then this job was in the bag. Iris the branch manager had just said that having a talent was much more important than those earlier questions. “Just to be sure, what do you mean by something I excel at?” I asked. “For example, a former adventurer might specialize in swordsmanship. That’s just one possibility, though; it could be anything. A knowledge of magic, a thorough understanding of items, an expertise with plants, animal handling, monster biology—” I flicked a pebble with my thumb so that it made a high-pitched clinking sound against the windowpane. Iris turned to look at the source of the disturbance, and I took that opportunity to turn on my skill. Apparently, opening up to Iris about my unusual ability was my way into employment. “…Huh? Well anyway, adventurers take quests, and you’ll need to deal with them at the reception window. There are times when you might have to fight, though. You look like you’re a bit of a softy; do you really think you’ll be all right?” “I don’t know too much about what adventurers are like, but…when it comes to excelling at a certain talent, I believe I’m a good fit,” I assured her. “Hmph,” Iris snorted. “You sure sound confident. Don’t tell me your amazing ability is just that you’re a little flexible or quick to get dressed, is it? If it’s something that anyone could accomplish, it doesn’t count.” “Do you know what this is?” I showed Iris a piece of cloth. It was black in color, triangular, and the whole thing was warm from residual body heat. “Hmm? Is that women’s underwear…? Ah! I-is that mine?! D-did you…?! Did you steal my underwear from my hous—?” I raised a hand to stop Iris’s irate inquiry. “I did steal them, but I have no idea where you live… Have you really not noticed yet?” Iris looked down, checking for something. Her face had already been red, but the color deepened even further. “Ah! Wh-when did you…?! You took them off me…?! I know—it was magic! That’s some kind of specialized skill!” “You took your eyes off me the moment you heard something, right? That’s when I did it,” I said. We were right next to each other in a space less than ten feet apart. Iris had turned to glance at the window after hearing that sound I made. Even such a brief moment was more than enough time to do my work. By making free use of my Unobtrusive skill, I could take off her underwear or do anything else I wanted. Having deft fingers was a necessary part of such a feat, too, however. This was the first time I’d ever used my skill to pull off someone’s undergarments. In order to make the target unaware of my presence using Unobtrusive, I needed to hide any indication of myself, take steps without making a sound, and move at high speeds in a very brief amount of time. I had learned all of these during my time as an assassin. I was first-rate at acting swiftly without leaving any indication I had been there. This included audible footsteps and even the breeze from my movements. Distracting someone’s gaze like I had earlier was yet another technique in the assassin toolbox. Despite being a pro and having some amount of pride for being one, it came as a surprise that Iris had forced me into using my skill… She was tough. Wasn’t this supposed to be a normal interview? “No way. You…did that in just a second? That’s unbelievable… I didn’t even notice you taking them off.” That much was to be expected. The enemies I killed often never had the chance to realize they were dead. “Miss Iris… It seems you severely underestimated my talent.” Whether with embarrassment or anger, Iris the branch manager shook as her face flushed again. Once more, I invoked my skill, making sure to put the underwear back where I’d found them. “…Huh? No way! Now you’ve put them back on me…?!” What else could I have done? Iris was stuck staring down at her desk while trembling slightly. She was overcome with embarrassment and anger. Her panties were a secondary or even a tertiary concern to her. While she was in such a state, redressing her was a piece of cake. “…Then that means you saw my private bits? Twice?!” Iris pursed her lips as her face seemed to steam and flood with red. “…F-fine, I’ll admit you have talent…” “Huh? Um, you were speaking so quietly, I couldn’t hear you.”