I was abnormally cowardly.
I was so cowardly that I hesitated to ask anyone for help. Even so, I felt like I’d become somewhat stronger. The fact that I was able to stand in front of a load of refugees while banging a pan and shouting out orders was good evidence.
Naturally, as someone who was born cowardly, I was usually exhausted after work. When I realized that I’d have to do this all over again tomorrow, I lost a little of my sanity. However, I didn’t have the guts to abandon my work. I also didn’t have the guts to betray all we’d learned from the Ajole village incident. I could never show that pitiful side of myself to Renge and Glen. That’s where my strength lies. Thinking that I didn’t want to harbor any shameful feelings toward both those who had helped me and those most important to me wasn’t the most progressive way of thinking. The reason we were able to come so far on this uncertain path was thanks to the light behind us that illuminated the way ahead. That was the case today as well.
“There has been a report from Maika, the scouting party leader.”
I had heard that Lady Maika had returned from her venture into the Yanga territory. Renge and I concluded that the reason Ash had summoned us was due to the results of that report.
“We have been able to discern how many more refugees we can expect to come out of Yanga’s territory, so I called you both here today. I understand that you are both busy, however, this will affect your current work,” Ash began.
As expected, he had called us here to give us an update on the refugee numbers. That’s Ash all right, he’s always quick with his work.
“Based on the report, we estimate that the total number of refugees—this includes those that we have already taken in—will reach twenty thousand.”
If this continues, the Disaster Response Office is going to collapse in on itself. Sure, Ash’s light lets him soar through the sky, but as a normal person who is confined to the ground, I’d never be able to reach him—not in this life, not in any life.
Twenty thousand? Twenty thousand? I had managed to keep a good track of the food supplies we required in my head, but this just messed everything up in one fell swoop. Ah, that’s it. This is definitely the sound you hear when everything is about to collapse. I looked over to Renge who was standing beside me; she no doubt heard the same thing I did. Her face was drained of color.
“Twenty...thousand...?” Renge asked, trying to confirm that she didn’t hear incorrectly, almost as if she was pleading for that to be the case. However, Ash didn’t respond.
“I mean, that’s absolutely...”
Impossible. However, I couldn’t bring myself to say that part. Even if it was impossible, I still had to do everything in my power. I had decided that I would do something. That’s why I could never say it’s “impossible.” Nevertheless, we never anticipated these numbers, meaning that the food distribution plans Renge and I had worked so hard on were beginning to crumble. Everything I had built in my head now lay in ruins. Aah, this really sucks. What would you call this? Exhaustion? Helplessness? Or just plain old despair?
Right before the meeting had started, we were all working hard even if there were problems and we didn’t have everything we needed. It was only natural that we were exhausted. There hadn’t been a day where my stomach didn’t hurt. Even then, we’ve managed to make it this far without giving up... My head felt heavy. I couldn’t look Ash in the eye. I wondered if I was being weighed down with despair. If that was the case... If just for a second, that was the case, it was really not that big of a deal. The fire that burned within me was stronger, bigger, and more ferocious. I hate this. Even though we tried so hard. I really thought I could pay them back for their help. I really felt like I had become stronger. I hate that our plans will fall apart and there’s nothing we can do about it. I hate it. I hate it so much. I’m still too weak. I don’t have any strength. I hate it so much, I could cry.
But it wasn’t over yet. If I could just overcome this despair, I could still do something. I had to do something. I couldn’t stop. I had to continue. I had this strength all along—it’d been with me since Ajole village fell to the treants.
First of all, we had to start from the ground up. Ah, this could be perfect. All my plans turning to dust couldn’t have happened at a better time. I almost let out a laugh.
“Similar to those from Ajole village, we need to help the refugees get back on their own two feet. They will need a place to stay, a place to get food...in other words, we need land.”
Listening to Ash’s words, I was brought back to the time just before Ajole village fell. With support from Itsutsu, the research institute taught us farming techniques and helped us revitalize our farms. Our plan was to help the refugees do the same thing. We could probably do that. We probably have the means to do that. I was able to clear up the dark clouds in my head. Surprisingly, there may be no need to build something again. The foundations had already been laid.
“We have quite a lot of land out here in the remote regions. For those who wish to migrate, there is a wide selection of plots I would like them to cultivate. I had been wishing to revitalize them anyways, but I lacked the means to do so.”
Behind those dark clouds was a bright and warm sun. No, it wasn’t a sun at all. It was a dream that shone just as brightly. Like a plant, I rose up toward it, bathing in its warmth.
“You can help with this, right, Lady Suiren?” Ash asked.
Yes. Yes I can. My Ajole village—our Ajole village—was waiting for us. That was why I’d been trying to get stronger. That was why I was able to. I had come this far so I could finally realize my dream of restoring Ajole village.
Ash’s words helped me realize that the dream I had been chasing was in front of me the whole time.
“In all honesty, it would be quite difficult for us to take in that many refugees. However, if we were to take them in as immigrants, that’d be a different matter,” Ash added.
That’s right. I nodded in agreement. If we say we are protecting refugees, that limits what the refugees can do. It’s like having a guest. If they get injured or just wander off on their own, it’d lead to problems. As refugees, we would have to keep them gathered in one place and keep a close eye on them. On the other hand, if we were to take them in as immigrants, they would more or less become one of us, and it would be easier to get them on board to do things.
I’d be able to recruit different villages to help out too. My friends from Ajole village were saying they had a lot of fields that required more workers. But then we’d need more tools, preferably iron... Ah, that’s right, we should have tons of iron from all those werewolves that were slain. Then the hard part would be getting farm horses and cows. I guess that was the reason we were suffering food shortages. I could ask the research laboratory if they’ll let us borrow the steam locomotive. I kept coming up with ideas. There was still lots I could do. Restoring Ajole village used to be a distant dream—but this time, it was different. Now I have the power to get closer to that dream.
“We can do it. I assure you,” I declared.
Of course we can do it. Ash nodded, pushing me forward. He used to be so strict with me back then, but he knew this was within our capabilities.
“The plan from now on is not to take in refugees, but rather to nurture talent and cultivate new land. I believe you two are fit for the job, right?” Ash asked.
“Of course!”
This was my way of paying back Ash for everything he’d taught me how to do up to now. I might be a coward, but I was able to hold my head high and respond with confidence. I was happy that Renge, who was standing next to me, also responded in an unusually loud voice. She’d always looked out for me, and when I was dealing with the restoration of Ajole village, she told me that she would help me in any way she could. She kept her promise too by helping me come up with ideas. As a result, we were able to be here and look Ash in the eye, showing that no matter how difficult or stressful a plan may be, we would be able to try.
“Wonderful,” Ash laughed. It was a bright laugh brimming with power. I remember being scared when I first met him, but now I instead felt hopeful.
“All right, let us get right into planning. We will continue taking in the refugees as we have been up till now. We will then narrow down a group who either wish to, or don’t mind, moving to another territory.” Ash had given us a framework to work with.