Chapter 80

Light returns to the soldiers’ eyes. “Given how long you’ve been in the army, can you find other jobs? Of course! I’m sure it’s possible for those of you with a varied skill set… But think of all that you’ll lose if you’re no longer a soldier! As a soldier, I’m sure that people respectfully yield the road to you on the street, while bar owners give you drinks on the house for your service! It’s a law that soldiers are treated well during wartime, and since the war has only recently ended, I’m sure you still receive special treatment!” I’ve gotta hand it to Snow. She definitely has leadership potential. While what she’s saying is completely abhorrent, the previously demotivated soldiers hold up their fists and cheer. “Show the people why we’re needed! Let’s kill the giant monster and get all sorts of praise! There’ll be a reward for those that inflict serious wounds! There will be money and glory waiting for us if we go home with this monster’s head in hand!” The fact that she puts money first and glory second is so very much in character for Snow, but looking at the faces of the soldiers, it’s clear her words have had an effect. “Chaaaaaaarge!” As Snow forges ahead on her unicorn, the soldiers behind her loose a fearsome war cry! 3 “Retreat! Retreeeat!” The sorry excuse for a knight commander is back in less than five minutes. As events unfold like a joke with a quick punch line, I murmur in exasperation to Alice. “…Hey, Alice, can you believe it? That pathetic woman is technically a Combat Agent recruit.” “If you find yourself outmatched, it’s important to know when to retreat… Though as a Combat Agent, well, yes, it is beyond pathetic…” Having been swept aside by the giant monster, the royal army’s soldiers flee in a disorganized mass. Snow somehow manages to get them back under her control as she gallops toward us. “Hey, Six, what are you doing?! You have to help us fight the monster!” As Snow shouts at us, I see that she is covered in mud. …I then direct my attention to the giant monster going on a rampage off in the distance. “You call that a monster…but that’s clearly a house cat.” Yes, a cat. While it is far, far larger than normal, it is definitely a white house cat. Alice claps her hands together in recognition as she marvels at the giant cat. “Ah-ha. So that’s the tiger monster that the scouting party reports mentioned was defending Toris.” “That’s not a tiger, that’s definitely a cat. The way it’s pawing at the soldiers makes it seem like it’s trying to play with them.” It looks like its natural instincts are set off by the sight of the fleeing soldiers, creating the bizarre scene unfolding before us. Stepping on the back of a soldier with its front paw, the cat cries out triumphantly, “Meoooow!” “See! It said meow! That’s definitely a cat!” Snow then verbally lashed out at me. “I don’t care if it’s a cat or a tiger, we’re going to go kill it! For some reason, like the Sand King, projectile weapons don’t work on it!” “Aw, really…?” The Sand King that we defeated a while ago seemed to be protected by the mysterious powers unique to this world, and as a result, gunfire and other projectiles didn’t work on it. Taking a closer look, the various siege weapons the soldiers are using are able to hit it, but none of them seem to be doing anything meaningful. Meaning that the anti-rifle I am carrying won’t do anything, either… “Melee combat against something that big? Are you freaking kidding me? Besides, I can’t imagine a scenario where I win against it…” “Where’s your usual bluster? Especially considering you were calling us throwaway opponents and cannon fodder.” Heine looks at me like I have a second head and smacks Russell’s cheek to wake him up. Viper gently lowers Russell to the ground, as if she intends to join the fight herself. “I used to have a pet cat, so I can’t fight it… I can’t bring myself to harm it!” “This isn’t the time for that! I’ll admit, it’s adorable, but we can’t just leave a dangerous monster to its own devices!” Even though Snow sounds infuriated, she herself is admitting it’s adorable. Back when we ran into the giant sparrow monster, the Sky King, Lilith refused to fight it, but I now understand why she couldn’t lift a finger against an animal she’d once owned as a pet. Suddenly, Heine, who appears to have given up on waking Russell, speaks up. “Cuteness is no reason to lose your edge. Observe! I’m going to go kill it with Lady Viper and show you the power of the Demon Lord’s Army!” “Huh?” In stark contrast to Heine’s spirited declaration, Viper lets out a yelp of surprise. “…Wh-what’s wrong, Lady Viper?” “N-nothing! Y-yes, if we show our strength, we can prove that demons are useful. So for the sake of my people and for Kisaragi, who has done so much for me, I’ll set aside my mercy and…!” Today Viper isn’t dressed in her usual Demon Lord outfit and is instead wearing the power armor designed for Snake Woman. It is at this moment that the giant cat notices Viper—who charged in with a battle cry—as well as Heine. Having closed the distance in a blink, Viper pauses. “…Oof! Is this charm magic…?” “There’s no magic at work, Lady Viper! Are you letting its cuteness get to you?!” says Heine on noticing that Viper pulled her punch right before it connected. Viper, who we brought as Kisaragi’s trump card, of sorts, easily folds. We are officially fresh out of options. …No, there are still two people who haven’t given up yet. “There’s no need to trouble Lady Viper! I’ll finish you myself!” “Good, Heine, draw its attention from the front! I’ll attack from behind using my Sword of Searing Heat, Flame Zapper!” The two former enemies are now working together to face off against a giant foe. Rather than reminding me of exemplary operatives of an evil organization, the sight evokes the image of our sworn enemies, the Heroes… “Meow!” “Ohhh no! Heine! M-Ms. Snow!” With little effort, the cat swats the two of them aside, and they roll to the ground, unconscious. Even considering the size of the cat, the damage from that little pat was evidently quite large. As the two of them are sprawled on the ground, Viper hurriedly makes her way to them. “Hey, Alice. Why are we having so much trouble against moles, sparrows, and now cats? We’re here trying to seriously be an evil organization, and yet we keep ending up in life-or-death brawls against adorable critters.” “Just being huge like that is a cheat in itself. But the only thing in our arsenal that would be an even match for them is the Destroyer, and it’s currently out of juice after exterminating the Sand King and salvaging Mr. Mogero. We need Heine to focus on recharging him…” Kisaragi mutants have a final option of turning into giant versions of themselves as a means of fighting the giant robots fielded by the Heroes, but the only mutant currently assigned to this planet is Tiger Man. And he’s currently off on a journey of his own. …It is then that Viper, who has taken advantage of the giant cat being distracted by the fleeing soldiers, comes back carrying Snow and Heine on her back. “Mr. Six, Ms. Alice. I’ll do something about that giant fluffball, so I’ll leave these two to you.” After setting down the two on her back, Viper turns back to the giant rampaging cat. “What do you mean, you’ll do something about it? Given its size, I don’t think even your Demon Lord Punch would be enough to inflict a mortal wound, Vi.” “I have an ace up my sleeve. Now that I’m the mutant Snake Woman, if I take a lot of damage…” Wait, does she mean…? “You can turn giant, too, Vi?” “Yes. When I became a leader in the Kisaragi Corporation, Lady Lilith gave me the requisite modifications.” Viper smiles as though it isn’t a big deal, but Heine stands up unsteadily. “L-Lady Viper…I never knew that… I won’t let you go! Please don’t risk your safety for us demons any further!” Heine clings to Viper with a look of deep sadness, on the verge of tears. But… “Listen, Heine. We’ve been given so much by Mr. Six and the other members of Kisaragi. More than we can ever repay. I want to help everyone. It’s all right, I have no intention of giving up the life that Mr. Six worked so hard to save… It’s true that becoming a giant will take a few years off my life expectancy, but it won’t kill me immediately… That being the case, I have no reservations.” Viper’s resolve is ironclad. As she approaches the giant cat, Heine calls out to her, “Lady Viper! I applaud your determination! But we can’t have you risking your life to fight something so adorable! If in the off chance you die, people will say that a former Demon Lord died in battle with an oversize kitten!” “…I—I won’t die, Heine, so don’t say things that’ll make me doubt my decision.” As Viper shows a bit of doubt, I come to a realization. “Vi, you can’t go giant here! If you do…!” “…? This is a wasteland near the border. I don’t think there will be any damage to the surroundings if I fight while in giant form…” As Viper turns back to me and tilts her head, Alice realizes what I want to say. “Ah, I see. It’d be one thing for mutants who look like animals to become giant, but if Viper became giant even though she doesn’t look any different from a person… There’s no cover out here.” “That’s right! If you become giant your clothes will be destroyed and you’ll be completely naked, Vi!” “P-please reconsider, Lady Viper! There’s tons of humans here!” Hearing that, Viper turns back to face the giant cat even as her shoulders faintly tremble. “…If I can be of help to everyone, I don’t mind being naked…” “I can hear the tremble in your voice, Vi! You really shouldn’t force yourself! When you’re big you can be seen from a mile away, and since we’ll be looking up at you from below, it’ll be really bad…” “We don’t need the details! Lady Viper’s already frozen in place!” As Viper covers her face and curls into a ball, the giant cat twitches its nose and sniffles as it glances around… …until its eyes land on us. “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! How’s that? You want some of this?! When I heard there was a giant tiger monster stomping around Toris, this is the ace I prepared just in case!” Snow has gathered her nerve when we weren’t looking and opened a bag. There’s white powder spilling from inside the bag, and the giant cat’s eyes are locked onto it. Oh no, she brought out something really dangerous… “…From what I’m detecting in the air, that white powder is definitely catnip. She has Tiger Man’s precious reserve supply. He’s gonna throw a fit when he gets back…” “For one who used to be a proud knight, Snow sure has her klepto moments. I think she’s actually better suited to being a rogue.” I’d heard she grew up in the slums, so there’s a good chance she was a petty thief when she was younger. The giant cat warily heads over to Snow as she throws the catnip powder into the air… “Look at that, Six. Snow’s actually being useful. Looks like it’s working.” “Wow, yeah. Impressive, especially since she’s been a walking punch line of late.” “It probably sounds weird coming from a demon like me, but you guys are pretty awful.” At the cat letting out a purr and rolling around at Snow’s feet, the fleeing soldiers seem to have regained their senses. The soldiers gather first in squads, and once they gather into company-size units, Snow has them surround the giant cat, who is now completely under her control. The soldiers are equipped with harpoons and nets, and it seems our lessons learned from the fight with the Sand King have been implemented by the royal army. Tillis has our reports to thank for that. Despite the fact that the army is getting into position to take it down, the giant cat still focuses solely on the catnip. Reassured by the sight, Snow looks triumphantly over at us. “Look what I did! Hey, Six, since you’ve been such a help to me every day, I’m happy to split the credit with you this time!” “…You’re just trying to make me an accomplice in your theft of Tiger Man’s catnip, aren’t you? He’s actually pretty hard on anyone who’s not a kid, so I refuse to get involved with this one.” Snow keeps her eyes on the giant, purring cat. “…I’m technically still seventeen. Given my age, do you think he’ll go easy on me, too?” “You don’t have an ounce of the innocence that a child has. Also, given your looks, I’m pretty sure you never stood a chance of persuading Tiger Man to do anything… Oh, looks like they’re going to catch it now.” The soldiers all throw their nets over the cat, but it’s so preoccupied with the catnip that it pays them no mind. It simply purrs in satisfaction. Just when it seems like we have this one in the bag— “I bring news! We’ve spotted a mysterious force in the distance! …Um, what is that? They’re riding something odd…” One of the soldiers who has been keeping watch of the surroundings comes to give a puzzled report to Snow. “An army riding weird objects? …Ah, I see, it must be that woman, Adelie or whatever. So they intended to use the giant monster guarding Toris as a decoy then circle around while we were busy dealing with it. Those of you subduing the monster, continue your work! The rest of you, we’ll reorganize our forces to engage the new enemy! Now’s the time to show them the power of—” Snow turns to face the newly spotted forces… “…Hey, Six. What are those? They have a lot of those odd machinations you use every now and then.” “Those are clearly transport vehicles. Combat transports at that… Hey, Alice, we’re in deep this time. Why the hell do they have modern weapons?” In the wastelands spreading out before us, there are several dozen combat transports approaching us. Since they don’t have any turrets, they’re probably APCs, armored personnel carriers. “I explained it at the meeting, remember? There’s a possibility that the faction that took over Toris had technology and modern weapons along with living weapons that are comparable or superior to those from Earth. After all, they conquered Toris in a single night. I knew they had something up their sleeve, but this just made conquering this planet a lot harder.” Given that they have armored transports, it’s safe to assume they’ve also got firearms. If they only have enough troops to man a few dozen APCs, we’ve probably got the advantage in sheer numbers. But there’s far too big a gap in terms of equipment. If they have machine guns, it’ll end up a one-sided slaughter. More than anything, the enemy we see atop the APCs are all dressed in outfits similar to the power armor that Adelie was wearing. Seeing them, Alice calls out: “Retreat!” Alice takes out her teleporter at roughly the same moment, scribbles down a quick note, and sends it. “Wha…?! W-wait, Alice! We’re almost done defeating the giant monster! I don’t know how strong that force is, but we should be able to buy enough time to—” At this point, I have to interject, even though Snow clearly doesn’t want to let go of her potential win. “Each of those guys over there probably has about the same fighting ability as us Combat Agents.” “Retreat!” And so Snow orders the army’s retreat without a moment’s hesitation. While there’s no one who as hungry for glory as she is, the fact that she is willing to immediately retreat against an enemy without even fighting once again proves her skills as a commander. She never hesitates to make the tough decisions. The fact that the soldiers immediately switch to retreating despite the fact that they had almost finished subduing the giant cat speaks to the quality of their training. “So, Snow. I’m finally convinced you didn’t gain your rank through your connections, money, or your body.” “Why are you bad-mouthing me at a time like this?! Damn it all! Those of you who can move quickly, help the slow ones! Throw aside your heavy equipment as you flee! They’ll also serve to impede the enemy!” As Snow leads her men to safety, Viper picks up the still out-cold Russell and holds him out to Heine. “I’ll cover the retreat. I’m leaving him in your care, Heine.” “Huh?! Wait, Lady Viper!” With that, Viper begins running to the very rear of the Grace Kingdom Army. “Ahh… Despite being a member of an evil organization, Lady Snake Woman is still a leader, I see. She really is good at her job. Not only can she fight, but she can do paperwork well. And not only do the demons love her, but the way the former Elite Four follow her…she has my undying respect…” “Wh-what the hell are you going on about? Of course the demons love her… Mmph!” I cover Heine’s mouth and whisper into her ear: “Lady Dandruff doesn’t know that Snake Woman is Vi. We’ve got a pool going among the Combat Agents to see how long it’ll take her to notice, so don’t tell her.” “How blind does she have to be not to see it under these circumstances…? I mean, sure, it’s probably better she not know since she’d probably pick a fight with us, but… Oh, never mind!” Heine pushes Russell into my arms and hurriedly chases after Viper. “I’ll go cover the retreat with Lady Viper, so I’ll leave Russell to you! We’ll buy you a little time, so at least give me a few more days off, okay?” Heine doesn’t wait for a reply and begins to summon flames to her hands as she’s running. “Hey, you weirdly dressed humans…! I’m Heine of the Flames, former pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four! I don’t know who you are, but you’re not getting past me!” She bares her large canines, unique to demons, and challenges the approaching army—! 4 Rose, who’s waiting for us at the entrance to Hideout City, cries out as soon as she sees us. “M-Ms. Viper?! Ms. Heine! And Mr. Russell, too!” Viper is horribly disheveled and carrying an unconscious Heine in her arms. Russell, who is still unconscious, is now on my back. The royal army started their retreat under Snow as Viper and Heine held off the mysterious approaching forces equipped with powerful weaponry. Afterward, Alice and I hid ourselves using the optical camo we received from Kisaragi just in case Viper and Heine were in trouble, but— “We’re all right. Heine and Russell are unconscious, but they’re not badly hurt.” Viper smiles reassuringly as Rose comes to greet us. The soldiers of the royal army didn’t suffer a single casualty and made it out with light wounds after trying to capture the giant cat. They likely would’ve fared far worse if they had engaged the new enemy. Apparently Heine developed some new attacks with her powerful sorcerer stone, and she destroyed two APCs using super-concentrated flames. But she was hit by something that resembled a taser, and the shock rendered her unconscious. In the end, the one who took the most damage was… “Vi, you’re the worst hurt of the group, so leave Heine to Rose, and let’s take you to the infirmary. I know you’re strong, but you shouldn’t risk your own well-being much. You were pretty close to turning into a giant, you know.” “I-I’m sorry, Mr. Six… I let them get the better of me despite being a Kisaragi leader…” Viper had fearlessly faced the mysterious enemy by herself and leaped at the sturdy APC with her signature flying kick known as the Demon Lord Punch. Although the mysterious enemy hit Viper with the same taser-like weapon, she didn’t seem to suffer any damage from it, and the enemy forces looked on in shock as she flipped over APCs, one after another. They hesitated before opening fire with their weapons, as if they had run out of options. Against that gunfire, Viper slowed time so she could see the bullets and used her bracers to deflect them, then picked up Heine, using her back as a shield, and began her retreat. She took a hail of gunfire to her back and somehow managed to join us after we emerged from our hiding space. And we then retreated with Viper still wounded. “M-Ms. Viper, your back looks terrible! I’ll take care of Ms. Heine, so please, go get treated!” Viper smiles to Rose as Rose takes Heine from her in a panic. “It only looks like I’m seriously hurt because my mutant suit is in tatters. But as you can see, I’m fine, though I do appreciate your concern, Rose.” Viper’s voice is calm, but she just had countless bullets removed from her back and received a medical nanobot injection as well. While it looks like she finished healing on the surface, she still has a lot of internal damage and blood loss to deal with. It’s a wonder she’s still upright. She must be putting on a brave face for Rose and the demons. “The enemy must’ve been really strong if all of you got so hurt. I mean, even my fellow chimera Mr. Russell’s down, so I don’t know how much use I would have been, either…” Rose seems troubled, but the one who took out Russell was actually me… It’s then that Alice shakes her head with a frustrated look. “The enemy was certainly powerful, but they were holding back. If anything, they didn’t show much interest in the retreating royal army. Their primary interest seemed to be the giant monster that was about to be captured.” “Oh, right. They all had guns but they only used them on Vi.” And there had been no sign of Adelie in that group. It’s possible that Adelie, as an intelligence operative, doesn’t participate in war. If that’s not the case, it doesn’t make sense for them to leave such a powerful asset unused. As we’re contemplating the bizarre behavior of our enemies… “I’m sorry, may I rest a little?” asks Viper, pale from blood loss. “No, you may not rest for a little. You’re going to rest until you’re fully healed. I’m the medic for Six’s squad, so you need to listen to your doctor.” “…I understand. I’ll leave the rest to you, Ms. Alice.” At Alice’s words, Viper starts to make her way toward Hideout City’s infirmary, but she furrowed her brow a moment and stops, as though debating something in her mind. Viper turns and calls to me with an apologetic expression. “…Um, Mr. Six.” “Yes, Sexy-Tattered-Suit Viper? What is it?” “I-is it really that sexy?! As a leader of an evil organization, I suppose I should be happy, but… No, that’s not it…” After enduring my teasing, Viper raised her gaze from the floor to meet my eyes. “Despite the fact that you accepted all my people and even saved my life, then hired me as a leader…I’m very sorry for failing you when I had the chance to repay you for everything.” Viper lowers her head in apology, but I think she did the most work out of all of us. “No, no, Vi, you’re doing fine. You’re the one doing the most for us, and you’re always up late working. Everyone’s worried about you, Vi. You push yourself too hard.” Without Viper covering the retreat, we may very well have suffered some losses. Covering a retreat is the most dangerous job on a battlefield. While no one was saying it aloud, everyone thoroughly appreciated the fact that Viper had volunteered to take on that dangerous task. Viper blushes a little then, swaying as she makes her way toward the infirmary. As I watch Viper limp away and can’t find any words to direct at her exposed, small shoulders, Alice speaks up. “I have a good sense of what you’re thinking, partner. But first, we need to head to the palace. Getting revenge for Viper comes after.” It looks like our high-spec pretty-girl android has learned to read people’s emotions. I wasn’t able to trust her completely, so this time I’m going to put all my faith in my partner. 5 As Alice and I approach the palace, there is a tense atmosphere in front of the gate. “Please, let us have an audience with Her Highness! What’s with the water crystals showing up in the market? I thought we had no relations with Toris? If imports have resumed, our family would like to purchase them as well! It’s dishonorable for the royal family to monopolize them!” “Wasn’t the war supposed to be over?! I’ve heard that the soldiers sent to defeat a giant monster wound up in combat with another army, is that true?! Are our taxes going to go up again?!” “There are rumors circulating that Her Highness is the Demon Lord, but I don’t care if she is! I love you, Your Highness! I’ll stand with you until the bitter end!” “I’ve heard rumors that the rain-making artifact has been repaired! If that’s the case, then why hasn’t the royal family conducted the rain-making ritual?! Bring the blessing of rain upon our lands!” There is a group of what appears to be nobles seeking an audience at the gate. Ordinarily, nobles wouldn’t be stopped at the palace gates, but today is different. “The soldiers of the kingdom have just returned today! Please come back some other time!” “The people of the palace are busy treating the wounded! We can’t answer your inquiries! You have our apologies!” The guards try their best to keep them from swarming the castle, but the people they’re trying to hold back are their social betters. Since the soldiers can’t be too forceful with the nobles, none of the nobles give any sign of leaving. “Currently the palace is under martial law, and no one is allowed to enter! Please come back another time!” The guards manning the gate try to deter the nobles, but they wouldn’t be nobles if that was all it took for them to back down. “How dare you, a mere soldier, treat me, your better, that way?! This is ridiculous! Get out of my way! Who is your supervisor? Bring them out!” Suddenly, as one of the nobles, completely out of patience, tries to force his way through the guards… “I’m the supervisor. If you have any complaints, let’s hear them.” …Snow emerges from the gate, drawn by the furor. “<Hey, Alice, things look kinda bad, don’cha think? The nobles might revolt at this rate…>” “<It won’t happen immediately, but it does look like they’ve got tons of grievances. Given the princess’s skill at dealing with these people, this is unusual. Things might devolve from here.>” Alice and I watch from a distance and discuss the matter as though it doesn’t directly concern us. It’s then that a noble among the unruly mob who looks particularly important steps forward and speaks with an especially nasty grin on his face. “I’ve heard the news, Lady Snow. It seems you failed in your mission to defeat the giant monster, despite mustering such a large force. How many failures does this make for you, now…?” “And you are…? Ah, that’s right, the Lord of House Howard who does close business with the Cricket Merchant Company! Yes, I’m quite familiar with them. The head of the company often sends me gifts! I also do quite a bit of business with them, myself!” Having her failures thrown in her face, Snow responds by dropping a bomb on the noble. “<Damn, Snow’s a piece of work. She not only tactfully pointed out the lord’s corruption, but she even appealed to him by revealing that they’re birds of a feather. If he tries to drag Snow down by highlighting her failures, she could very well take him down with her by confessing to all the corruption. That’s a seriously impressive tactic. She really is good at this stuff.>” “<It’s more than impressive. It’s terrifying. Look, the noble who spoke out against Snow clammed up.>” As someone truly rotten from the inside out, Snow’s extremely good at verbal arguments. The noble who sarcastically attacked Snow freezes, and his cheek twitches as he puts on a veneer of a smile. “Well, as someone who uses the same merchant house, I would like you to look upon my latest failure with a bit of forbearance! Unfortunately, the people inside the palace are quite busy at the moment, so we would really appreciate it if you could come back another day…” “Y-yes, well, indeed. I can’t say no to your request, Lady Snow! Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Idiots don’t stay nobles very long. The man must have decided it was a bad idea to mess with Snow, who was a veritable powder keg of issues. So he forces one last, greasy smile and scurries away with his tail between his legs. “Those fools, using now of all times to cause problems. Her Highness is far too busy to deal with their petty nonsense…” Having chased off the nobles, Snow complains to us as she shows us to Tillis’s room. “Have the nobles of this country always been like that? In my experience, they were a lot more out of the way during the war with the demons.” “No, them throwing their weight around is a recent development. Due to my less-than-prestigious upbringing, they’ve never liked me. But they love needling me for little mistakes. That said, they’ve never come to the palace to lodge a complaint in the past.” I’m pretty sure none of your mistakes have ever been “little.” “And that reminds me. Isn’t the protection around the palace a bit overdone? I hope this isn’t the case, but has Combat Agent Ten been up to mischief again?” On the way to Tillis’s room, I noticed that the faces of the soldiers are grim, much tenser than I’m used to seeing. “They’re on guard in case any nobles who are swayed by the bounty on Her Highness’s head completely lose their senses and try something shady. While they were happy to have a leader like Princess Tillis during the war with the Demon Lord’s Army…” “Now that it’s peaceful, the smart princess is just in the way. I suppose reality is harsh in every world…” Alice, who has been quiet until this point, speaks up. “Damn, Adelie got us on this one. They’re pretending to do things in the name of justice to stir up rebellion in this kingdom. She was just pretending to be useless and made each of her actions look harmless to make us lower our guard.” “…Seriously? She didn’t look that smart, honestly.” Yes, if anything, she seemed like a meathead like me and Rose. “The dumping of water crystals in Grace may have looked like charity from afar. But by flooding the market with water crystals that were hard to import, she made everyone view the princess with suspicion. To the nobles, it looked like the royal family was just hogging them all. That being the case, all they needed to do was spread the rumor, ‘Princess Tillis won’t use the repaired artifact so that she can make money off the water crystals she just acquired!’” I do remember telling all sorts of people that the artifact was already fixed so that I could get Tillis to say the embarrassing activation phrase, but I’m sure it’s not my fault or anything. “I see… So that woman is quite the schemer. She must have timed her exposing of my corruption and handed that crystal ball to Her Highness to…” “Yeah, she used you as bait to cause a fuss and get Tillis into a public place. Then she made Tillis touch the crystal ball in public.” I mean, I kind of think none of it would have happened if Snow hadn’t engaged in corruption in the first place. And I’m pretty sure the crystal turned black because Tillis’s personality is…well, y’know. But if my wise partner Alice is saying it, it has to be true. “Which means she then declared Princess Tillis to be the Demon Lord and put a bounty on her head in order to…!” As Snow reels in shock, Alice points her index finger at Snow like a famous detective. “Yes, that was her true goal. Adelie wanted to reveal that Tillis had a rotten personality to the public so she could call her the true Demon Lord and put a bounty on her head. With that, the enemy gains the justification they need to invade us. They can say they’re going to come liberate the people of Grace from the Demon Lord.” Eh, it seemed like Adelie wasn’t really thinking deeply about anything and just blurted out Tillis was the Demon Lord at random, but given how confidently Alice was making this assertion, I started to be convinced of it as well. “Think about it. The day after that woman fled this country, the giant monster and the mystery force came to attack us. This happened way too quickly…unless they prepared in advance. Meaning, it was all according to their plan!” That force turned around and went home without attacking us after they caught the giant cat, but if even that turns out to be a trap of some sort, then we need to stop underestimating Adelie. “This isn’t the time to be standing around! I need to go report this to Her Highness at once!” Alice pays little heed as Snow works herself into a lather. “<There, I’ve given you a justification to attack. Now all we need to do is fight and win. I’m leaving that to you.>” Alice keeps her voice low so that only I will hear. 6 After showing us into her room, Tillis receives the report from Snow and listens before she speaks. “Well, this certainly puts us in a bind… To do this right as my father, the king, was gone and the nobles were trying to claim some power for themselves. If there wasn’t the confusion in our borders, I would have invaded them…” It’s an unexpectedly aggressive statement from the usually calm Tillis. “I guess the thing that was most damaging from her point of view was having the knowledge that the artifact was repaired. It seems a little different from the other measures in character, but to take this opportunity to reveal it… Damn, Adelie’s a sly one.” “…What a terrible thing to do. I’m gonna give her a good smack when I see her next.” I decide to shift the blame to Adelie and pretend not to know anything. “I have a request, Your Highness.” Snow kneels, putting on a more serious expression than I’ve seen from her in a long time. “I understand that I failed to defeat the giant monster, but please give me an opportunity to redeem myself.” Oh, right, she was on the verge of getting fired if she failed another mission. Snow’s usual greedy self is nowhere to be seen as she looks intently up at Tillis and waits for an answer. Honestly, I thought she was going to cry and throw a tantrum or something, so I’m a little surprised here. “…A chance to redeem yourself? What do you intend to do? Given that the nobles are hatching schemes of their own, now is not a good time to attack the Hiiragi Agency. And considering you failed your last mission, even if you did get results, I can’t guarantee that you’d be made knight commander again.” “I care not, Your Highness. I’m prepared to give up my rank as a knight. If you’ll allow me, I will infiltrate Toris and conduct sabotage missions to strike back at them.” Even Tillis seems a little intimidated by the sheer gap between Snow’s current demeanor and her usual self. “If we stand by and do nothing, our neighboring countries will stop taking us seriously. Once I’ve defeated the nobles in the political arena, I do intend to send forces against them. But infiltration missions are dangerous. Can you not wait until the time is right? I trust your skills when it comes to entrapping the enemy in a battle of wits. Won’t you stay and help me? …Or rather, to ask more bluntly: What’s driving you to act this way?” Snow muddles her initial response. “Lady Snake Woman…suffered a serious injury in the most recent skirmish…” Snow’s ears turned beet-red, and she murmurs her confession in a soft voice. “Perhaps because Six keeps calling her Vi, I always think of the Demon Lord Viper whenever I look upon her. I wasn’t able to do anything for the Demon Lord who shouldered the crimes of all demons and died for them. I wanted to do some damage to avenge Lady Snake Woman who had been doing her best to protect the demons in Demon Lord Viper’s stead…” At this moment, Tillis and I exchange thoughts through a glance. She seems to ask why I went this long without telling Snow the truth. See, my plan was to originally have Snow find out about Viper’s identity from some random event and laugh at her for how long it took her to figure it out. Or rather, given that we’d made Snow’s ignorance the subject of a betting pool, I had no idea she had taken it so seriously, and now I feel like I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have crossed. Completely ignoring my inner turmoil, the android that had come up with the whole scheme to fool the world into thinking the Demon Lord was dead nods intently to Snow’s remarks and pats Snow reassuringly on the shoulder. It is at this moment that I confirm that androids really are ruthless and heartless. “Lady Snow, out of respect for your firm resolve, I will permit you to act freely. And if you’re able to produce results, I will once again make you knight commander of the Royal Guard!” Apparently, Tillis can’t bear to let Snow wallow in her misery any longer. While Snow’s transfer to Kisaragi had been all but agreed upon under the table, if she can return to being the knight commander of the Royal Guard, then I agree that would be better. “T-truly?! N-no, but given that I’ve repeatedly failed in my missions…” “No. Go and accept that offer. You have the right.” “Yep, I’d been thinking that for a while. You’re a fine knight. Even during the monster-hunting mission, you made the right call on retreat, so I don’t think you can call it a failure.” While Alice and I try to back her up, for some reason Snow regards us suspiciously… “Hey, why are you giving me your recommendation? Could it be that—…that you really don’t want me to formally become a Kisaragi employee? D-do you hate me that much?!” “No, that’s not it at all! You’re such a handful at times, dammit! I’m just happy about your desire to avenge Vi! Kisaragi employees value their comrades!” I try to reassure Snow, who looks incredibly worried, when Alice speaks up. “So you wanna counterattack against Hiiragi, right? Then we’ll lend you our strength, too. Princess, you need to watch out for your own safety. After all, there’s a huge bounty on your head. You can’t let your guard down, even in the palace.” “Yes, indeed… I was hoping to have Snow, who was a member of the Royal Guard, serve as my bodyguard, but with this, I suppose I’ll have to find someone else I can trust…” It was just when Tillis glommed on to the conversation and started wondering about who to use for protection in an attempt to continue changing the subject— “Leave protecting Princess Tillis to me.” The speaker has a deep voice, despite the fact that I’m supposed to be the only man in the room. A human-shaped section of the wall begins to lift up, and a man appears, peeling wallpaper off his body. He smiles at us. “Guards!” At Tillis’s scream, the man holds out his palm and speaks. “It’s all right, Your Highness, there’s no one suspicious here. It’s just me, Combat Agent Ten.” “Guaaaards!!!” At Tillis’s second, louder cry, there comes a buzz from the other side of the door. Looking closely at the wall Ten had appeared from, I can see a human-shaped hole in the wall. This man, who we hadn’t seen recently, has evidently been living as a part of that wall. “If Ten’s here, then the princess is in good hands. We’ll leave her protection to you.” “Yep, I got it.” “No, you don’t! Or rather, how long have you been there anyway?!” Ignoring Tillis’s panicked confusion, Snow smiles at Ten and says, “Her Highness may seem strong, but there’s a part of her that’s still afraid of things any girl her age would be scared of. Take care of her.” “Yeah, I know. I’m already aware that she flinches at lightning when it’s storming outside. I’m even preparing a body pillow disguise for the next stormy night,” Ten replies with a smile.