CHAPTER 1 The Girl Who Welcomes Death 1 It’s been one week since Lilith the Black bombed the defense facilities of the Demon Lord’s Castle. Lilith, despite showing up with lots of flashy Earth tech in the hope of wowing the locals into subservience, didn’t actually do a whole lot, threw a tantrum, and ended up invading demon territory. It was believed the Demon Lord’s Army would swiftly open negotiations after being subjected to the overwhelming firepower of a Kisaragi Supreme Leader, but we have yet to hear from Heine. Plus, with Lilith back on Earth, it’d be difficult to attack the Demon Lord’s Castle again anytime soon. Which is why, with nothing to do, we’ve been chatting in the base’s rec room, but… “Hey, Six, look at this!” Snow suddenly bursts through the door while I’m playing with a video-game console Lilith brought from Earth. Holding out what appears to be a report of some kind, Snow says in her self-aggrandizing tone: “I, the capable one, have brought you information about the Demon Lord! Everything from the Demon Lord’s hobbies, gender, special abilities, to even his favorite foods! Go and make use of my information in your negotiations!” After reading through a bit of Snow’s report, I crumple it up and toss it over my shoulder. “Wh-what are you doing?!” “That’s what I should be asking you! What the hell, Snow?! Judging by everything we’ve been through so far, it only makes sense for the Demon Lord to be a beautiful woman or a pretty girl! And she’s supposed to use the royal we and have some archaic accent or something! Kisaragi’s Supreme Leaders are all women! Why? Because that’s how it’s supposed to be! So…” In spite of all that… “…why the hell does your report say the Demon Lord is some middle-aged dude?!” “How should I know?! And why would the Demon Lord be a woman? The Supreme Leaders might all be women where you’re from, but most rulers here are men! Go on, read the rest!” Sighing, I start reading the sheet of paper as it’s uncrumpled and shoved into my face. “‘The Demon Lord Mehlmehl: a powerful being who has ruled over the demon territory for the last two hundred years. He appears to be a middle-aged man with horns. He originally maintained a reasonable distance from humanity, but having had much of his territory turned into desert by the giant monster known as the Sand King, he suddenly began an invasion of the kingdom of Grace. After a long period of war that saw both the Demon Lord’s Army and the human army suffer heavy losses, the royal seer prophesized the awakening of the Chosen One, the death of the Demon Lord, and the arrival of a short-term peace for humanity. However, the Chosen One appears to be missing in action, and the seer was fired for giving inaccurate predictions…’ “…Hey, this part about the seer getting fired bothers me. If Alice and I hadn’t shown up, the prophecy might not have been wrong.” The Chosen One should’ve been the one to defeat the Demon Lord, just like in the stories. Adding an irregular element to the mix (namely us) seems to have thrown things out of whack. …I mean, this planet just happens to closely resemble a fantasy world. It’s not like we’re actually in a video game or a novel, so it’s probably fine if things aren’t totally by the book. Still, I feel a little guilty about it… “You say that, but the seer’s already been banished. Besides, why should we believe in some sketchy prophecy? When the seer was still around, they couldn’t even properly forecast the price of commodity futures!” “You’re a real piece of work, you know that…? We’ve always had our hands full fighting for survival. Let’s leave the past in the past.” If I ever run into the seer, I’ll apologize and buy them a cup of coffee. Putting that aside… “‘He has an arrogant, greedy personality, but he is dedicated to securing prosperity for the demons. The invasion should have demonstrated our power to the demons, so if we hint at the risks to his people, we should have an advantage in negotiations…’ You are a knight, right? You’re not actually part of an evil organization like us, are you?” Snow’s notes sound awfully similar to something you’d read in a Kisaragi report. I’ve always thought she was shady, but this is enough to turn me off. “It’s precisely because I am a knight of this kingdom. I put my nation before any other and pray death swiftly befalls my enemies. When you meet the Demon Lord, you should try that line of questioning on him. I have no doubt he’ll answer the same way. As I was doing my research, I couldn’t help but feel a certain kinship with him…” Wow, she really was sympathizing with the Demon Lord… For the sake of this country, maybe I should do something about her first. At least she’s hot. I bet she’d make a good hostess. But just as I consider knocking her out from behind and sending her to one of the Kisaragi-run hostess clubs on Earth… “Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you’d disappeared to. If you’re not doing anything, come lend me a hand.” …Alice appears in the rec-room doorway, shotgun and backpack in tow. Previously, Supreme Leader Lilith had ordered: “You two are to begin espionage and invasion preparations on the surrounding kingdoms, using this hideout as your base.” She’d also said: “In parallel, you will be responsible for founding a city capable of supporting human life in this area, with this fortress at its center. Bring life back to these wastelands, tame those woods, and create a foundation for settling earthlings on this planet!” Since we haven’t taken care of the Demon Lord problem, we can’t start spying on surrounding kingdoms. Meaning the only work we can do at the moment is the other task: settling this forest… “Six, the treants are headed your way! Not only are they a great source of lumber, but their leaves can be sold as magic supplies! Don’t let them get by you!” “Yeah right! I’m a Combat Agent, not a lumberjack!” I’m currently with Alice and Snow in the woods near our base. “Don’t be like that, partner. We’re seriously short on building materials. We gotta save up on Evil Points. I’ll give you some spending money when we’re done, all right?” “Don’t think you can just buy me off with spending money every time! I’m only taking gold coins! Shiny ones at that!” As the trees—er, treants run away using their roots as legs, I ready my R-Buzzsaw. Treants are the walking-tree creatures you occasionally see in fantasy games and stuff. I’ve given up dwelling on the weird creatures on this planet. It’s pointless to question why trees would move around. It’s a world with magic, after all. There might even be a world with killer vegetables somewhere in this vast universe. As I struggle with the injustice of this planet’s ecosystem, Snow calls out from behind. “Wait, Six! If there’s a steady supply of gold coins to be had, I’ll take up woodcutting!” “A-are you serious?! If you ditch the whole knight thing, your boobs’ll be the only positive trait you have left! …Hey, there’s something in the trees!” As I turn around in exasperation, I notice one of the trees has a bunch of round things stuck to it that resemble black ping-pong balls. “…Hmm? Ah, mipyokopyoko eggs. Great, let’s grab them.” Snow then goes to casually pick them up, but I seem to recall that name being… “Hold on, aren’t mipyokopyokos the things that blow up? What are you going to do with the eggs of a creature that dangerous?” “Mipyokopyoko eggs won’t explode if you don’t subject them to shock. You can use them as weapons and throw them at enemies. And if you dry them out and grind them into powder, they become a potent fire starter. In other words, they’re valuable.” Man, she really does have money on the brain twenty-four seven. “Don’t leave them in your room at the hideout and accidentally hatch them.” “I’d never do something that stupid. These don’t hatch unless they’re exposed to pure moonlight for an extended period of time. Nothing will happen if you leave them in the dark.” Still, between treants, mokemokes, and these tongue-twister mystery monsters, this world really is full of weird creatures. As I grab the mipyokopyoko eggs, my mind wanders. “Hey, morons! The treants are getting away!” ““Oh.”” A while later, Alice addresses us in front of the pile of lumber in the hideout’s storehouse. “Well done, you two. Here’s your payment. Remember, we have more to do tomorrow.” With the war against the Demon Lord’s Army suspended, all available Combat Agents other than me are off gathering materials. In the storehouse, there’s also stone from the mountains and piles of ores. “Whoo-hoo, a shiny gold coin! I’m gonna drown in booze tonight!” “Hey, Six. If you’re going drinking, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind having this peerless beauty accompany you.” After receiving my pay from Alice, who looks all of twelve years old, I’m in a pretty good mood. “Screw that! You’re just planning to leech off me, aren’t you?! ‘Peerless beauty’ my ass. Now that I know what you’re like on the inside, I barely consider you a lady!” “Heh-heh, you clearly don’t know anything about women. Having a tiny flaw or two makes us more relatable and approachable.” Your issues are just as huge as your tits. “Look, if you buy me dinner, I’ll pour your drinks for you! I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I really miss eating out!” “You just got a gold coin! Treat yourself! And what do you mean by ‘survival mode’? …Wait. You did get your coin, didn’t you?” Hang on a sec, did Alice only pay me? Hearing my question, Alice looks over while wearing an expression that seems to say, Of course. “For now, I’m funneling Snow’s income into paying off her loans.” “Which is why, to reduce my living expenses as much as possible, I’ve been gathering things that seem edible from the woods. You’re my commander, remember? You have to make sure your troops stay fed!” The former captain of the Royal Guard has sure fallen far. “Oh, so I’m your commander again, am I? Just the other day, you were talking about how you wanted nothing to do with me… Hey, there’s no point in shoving your boobs up against me. I can’t feel them through my power armor.” Snow has been firmly pressing her chest against my arm, but discovering her advances aren’t very effective, she gives herself a squeeze instead. “You bastard… I remember how you ogled me when we first met! What the hell? Have you found a new target to harass? Are you seriously going to claim you’ve found someone better?! I’m pretty confident in these! They’re the best breasts in the kingdom, if I say so myself! Commander, please! Feed your poor, starving soldier!” “J-just how far are you going to fall…? I’ll buy you dinner, so stop feeling yourself up already…” Ordinarily, I’d shut up and enjoy the show, but this is just too sad to consider sexy. Watching my pitiable subordinate celebrate, something else comes to mind. “Hey, speaking of troops, what are Rose and Grimm up to?” “Those two did their daily training at the castle, then went to seek an audience with Princess Tillis. They mentioned wanting to discuss the future…” Well, I guess those two are technically soldiers of this kingdom. And while Rose formally became a Combat Agent Recruit the other day, she hasn’t signed the contracts for her salary and other matters yet. Wait… “Those two are working, but you, the knight, are off making money on side jobs?” “It seems you’ve forgotten my job is to keep an eye on you. And a knight’s role during peacetime is to preserve that peace. That means watching after you troublemakers is my responsibility. In other words, this is my top priority, not a side hustle.” Snow says this with a serious expression as she busily stuffs the eggs she plundered into a bag. 2 That night. “Barkeep! I’ll have one of everything on the menu!” “Not so fast, Lady Whitemane! Just because I’m paying doesn’t mean it’s all-you-can-eat!” “You’re one to talk! You always order the most expensive drinks on my tab!” In the bar where we first had drinks with Snow shortly after landing on this rock, Alice and the rest of my squad have joined me for a rare happy hour. I take a long swig from a mug of beer as Grimm grabs and shakes me by the shoulder. Rose raises a fist while munching on some bar snacks. “Don’t worry, Boss. There won’t be anything left as long as I’m here!” “I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about the contents of my wallet. With a group this large, it’s gonna be hard to sneak out.” “Commander, I’m begging you not to dine and dash! This is one of my regular bars!” Grimm punctuates this by banging her hands on the table, and Alice says something faintly nostalgic as she watches us. “I heard humans are supposed to mature as they grow older, but you all never change.” “In other words, you’re saying we’re forever young. I can take that as a compliment, right?” Uh, probably not. Just then, Rose, who’s been snacking away, straightens her back as though she’s come to a decision. “…Boss, Ms. Alice, I have something to tell you.” “Hmm? You want our snacks, too? Sigh. Fine, knock yourself out.” “I can’t eat, so you can have mine, too. Here ya go.” “No, that’s not it! I mean, I’ll still take them, but…!” While moving the snack plates to her corner of the table, Rose hardens her expression as she continues: “I’ve officially resigned from the Grace Kingdom army. From now on, I’ll do my best as a Kisaragi Combat Agent! Thanks for giving me this opportunity!” “Whaa—?!” Snow yelps in surprise as Grimm smiles happily. “I still have some duties to hand over as a high-ranking member of my order, but my resignation will be effective as of next month, too. You’re short on hands, right? I’m sure an Archbishop of Zenarith will be very useful to have around.” “Grimm, not you too!” Snow reels in shock while Alice and I exchange whispers… “Um, Alice, I know we’ve been pushing Rose as a mutant candidate, but what do we do about Grimm?” “Let’s be honest. Is there really any demand for a wheelchair-bound Combat Agent? She’ll have pretty significant terrain restrictions, so we should probably just station her in this country for the most part and then wheel her out when she’s needed…” “I can hear you, you know! Hold on a moment. I showed you how useful I can be during the Undead Festival, didn’t I?! Sure, I’m usually pretty useless, but I’m an asset when it counts! B-besides…!” Grimm gives me a meaningful glance. “Besides, isn’t a girl with a few flaws a little cuter than some perfect woman?” “You’re sounding like Snow now.” Grimm freezes at my remark, and Snow rubs her temples at the idea of the two of them quitting. Rose lets out a bashful chuckle and paws at the back of her head. “Even as a Recruit, I’ll be working for Kisaragi from now on, so I thought I needed to clarify where I stand. Which is why I made sure to tell Princess Tillis.” “F-for my part, I couldn’t just leave Rose on her own, you know! And also you, Commander! You’re weirdly vulnerable at times! You have no problem with me joining, right? Because I’ll be unemployed otherwise! I already handed in my resignation for next month!” Grimm seems more than a little clingy while saying this, but I suppose it’s her way of looking out for Rose. “…Well, I suppose we can do that. I mean, you’ve got that weird mystery power that makes you useful at times. Besides, we don’t have a mutant zombie-woman yet. I’m also not gonna complain about having another female subordinate.” “Welcome to the team, then, Mutant Zombie-Woman! Since I’m your superior now, you better show me respect! Make sure you call me Ms. Alice.” “Don’t call me that! I’ll curse you!” With the addition of Mutant Zombie-Woman settled, we’re about to do another round of toasts when… …Snow slams her empty mug onto the table and glares at us. “…Hrmph! Just this once, I’ll ignore the fact that you headhunted Rose and Grimm from our country. I hate to say it, but they were treated like garbage before you arrived. I don’t have any right to stand in the way of their happiness when they’re this excited. HOWEVER—!” “Depending on what you say next, you might be paying your own tab.” Snow’s momentum comes to a screeching halt. “…H-however…I won’t be so easily pulled away from my duty! I may be easily bribed, but my loyalty to this kingdom is…” Her words trickle out, and Alice and I exchange glances. “Even I know it’d be a bad idea to try to recruit a loyal knight.” “We can just leave Snow where she is. She can look after the kingdom and come do side gigs for us when we need her.” “Hwaaah?!” Snow’s weird utterance confirms we caught her completely off guard. “I mean, thinking about it, I guess I’m also employed by the kingdom. Since things are gonna get pretty busy on the Kisaragi side, should I also have a chat with Tillis?” “In your case, your employment is part of maintaining relations with this country. I don’t think it’s a problem for you to keep pulling double salary from Kisaragi and the local regime. So there ya have it, Snow. We’re not gonna force you to join us; you can relax.” Hearing that, Rose excitedly tugs on Alice’s sleeve. “Ms. Alice, Ms. Alice, I recall being aggressively coerced into becoming a Combat Agent Recruit…” “Hey, here comes the food we ordered. I don’t eat, so you can go ahead and have my share.” “Yay! Thank you!” As Rose is drawn away from her memory by the sight of food, Snow starts rapidly laying out her case. “Y-you really aren’t going to try to recruit me?! I mean, I’m still a former member of the Royal Guard, if nothing else. Hell, I was the captain! I’ve got leadership skills and plenty of fighting ability. Are you sure you want to give up on me so quickly?” For some reason, Snow seems to be in a slight panic. “We’ve got plenty of guys who can fight. Hey, Rose, gimme some of whatever that is… Is it some sort of stewed lizard?” “This is stewed mupyokopyoko. It has this delicious pop flavor.” What sort of flavor is “pop” exactly? It doesn’t explode, does it? “Y-you’re okay with this, then?! My network of informants is quite impressive! You’ll regret letting me go!” “I keep telling you we don’t need you! We’ve got Alice, and I’m pretty sure she’s much better at gathering intel than you are. I mean, she’s hooked up to a satellite, for crying out loud. All the knowledge of this world is laid bare before her!” As I taunt her, Snow’s brow twitches violently… “Yo, Six, with Lady Lilith gone, we don’t have access to the military satellites anymore.” Alice mentions that supremely valuable fact as though we’re just swapping gossip. “Huh? Why?! Isn’t the satellite still in orbit? Why can’t we use it anymore?” “No clue. Last picture it took showed something like a floating island. Since we didn’t see anything like that when we arrived, it might’ve been hidden with optical camo.” A mysterious floating island that shoots down satellites in space… “Oh, so it seems you can’t use Alice’s secret weapon after all! Well then, I wouldn’t be opposed to lending you my network in exchange for a not-so-modest fee, and perhaps a little groveling? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Snow wraps her arm around my shoulder, more smug than she has any right to be. “What the hell is up with this planet anyway? It’s full of screwball creatures like giant sparrows and giant moles! And the people are just as weird!” “Six, you better not be including me among those weird people! Just admit it already! You need my abilities! Go on, say it! You want me!” What the hell? Snow’s being way more of a pain in my ass than usual. “You’ve gotta be—Did you seriously chug your drink even though you’re a lightweight?! Grimm, she’s cut off!” Despite her usual stubbornness and arrogance, Snow’s as bad at holding her liquor as anyone else her age. When we were running our scam hostess club, we even had to prepare nonalcoholic drinks just for her… “I’m not a lightweight! Look, my mug’s empty! I can drink as much as I want!” “Well said, Snow! You can drink with the best of them! What a woman! Now drink this next.” “I said, she’s cut off! She lives at the hideout right now! You know who has to drag her back, right?!” “Boff! If you’re nah eafing thif meat, can I haf if?” Snow turns beet-red from the alcohol while desperately trying to convince us that she’s not three sheets to the wind. Grimm, wildly amused by the spectacle, funnels her more drinks. Rose just chows down without a care in a world. It’s all so familiar to another night in recent memory. “You better be able to walk home! Otherwise, I’m just gonna toss you into a cheap inn and leave you there!” “You’re going to push me down in a cheap inn? You hear that, Grimm? He plans to have his way with me! Ah-ha! So that’s why you’re trying to get me drunk! Pervert!” “I said I’m leaving you there! And you only have yourself to blame for your drunkenness! And stop acting like I’d just throw myself at any woman I saw!” As we get into a shoving match, Grimm laughs and downs her drink while Rose starts cheering us on to keep fighting. Alice then chimes in with amused exasperation. “You guys really don’t change…” “Um, excuse me, I know you’re valued customers, but could you please knock it off already…?” says a nearby server. 3 I ended up carrying Snow back to the hideout last night after she begged, through drunken sobs, not to be the only one left out. Which brings us to today… “…Good morning…” While I’m sitting in the cafeteria reading a translated newspaper and eating breakfast, a red-faced Snow wanders in. Judging by her unusually docile behavior, it seems she remembers her drunken antics. As Snow fitfully sends tiny glances in my direction… “Mornin’, sunshine. Looks like somebody had a little too much fun last night, huh?” “K-kill me already!” Snow drops to her knees while performing a double facepalm as I sip my miso soup and continue perusing the paper. “‘…Sand King rapidly expanding territory. Caravan merchants are warned to take extra precautions. Our paper also helps provide arrangements with mercenary units; for details, contact us at…’” …Huh, I didn’t even know there were mercenary units in this country. They’re industry competitors of a different sort from the Demon Lord’s Army. We should probably go have a chat with them sometime. Just as I’m thinking up Kisaragi-style “negotiation” techniques… “Ah, Six, mornin’.” …Alice walks into the cafeteria, directing an amused look over to Snow. “Oh, and good morning to our dear Snow, who threw a tantrum while saying things like, ‘I don’t want to go home yet!’ and ‘I’m part of your team, right? Don’t abandon me!’ then passed out from crying too much.” “How much…? If you forget about last night, I’ll happily agree to any amount you add to my debt…” As Snow mutters in a shaky voice, Alice casually remarks: “Androids never forget, I’m afraid. But don’t worry about that. Come with me to the castle. It looks like the emissary from the Demon Lord’s Army is finally here.” It’s been a while since I’ve been to the palace, and things look quite a bit different on the outside. There are countless spear-shaped objects buried atop the outer wall, as well as a large, newly constructed moat. “Huh, I didn’t realize they redecorated the castle. I didn’t think Tillis was the sort of person to shell out for something like this.” “You do realize you’re the cause, right? This is all because you and your ilk kept breaking into Her Highness’s room.” …Ohhh, that makes sense. Ten and I did sneak in pretty often. What a shame. That was a gold mine of Evil Points… “What are you looking at? Also, make sure you tell your fellow perverts to stay the hell out!” We have so many perverts at Kisaragi that I’m not quite sure where to start. I mean, if you exclude me, the only gentleman, we’re pretty much all perverts. “Yeah, they’re perverts, all right, but they don’t mean any harm. Could you let them off the hook? For me? Anyway, let’s make sure Heine gets an earful for keeping us waiting for so long.” “Y-you seriously don’t believe you’re any different from the others?” Hearing that, Alice, who’s been leading the charge, stops and turns back to face us. “Looks like Heine’s not the emissary. It’s another young woman, so try to keep your hands to yourself.” Oh hey, I wonder if that means I’m allowed a little wiggle room. …When we reach the castle gate, one of the soldiers notices us and opens it up. “Welcome, Lady Alice. Sir Six. Right this way.” As we begin following the soldier, I hear Snow yelling behind us. “What is the meaning of this?!” “I’m afraid our orders are to only allow Lady Alice and Sir Six inside…” When I turn around, I see a soldier barring Snow’s entry. “D-don’t be ridiculous! I’m a knight of this realm! Not only that, but I’m the former captain of the Royal Guard and a retainer of Princess Tillis! Are you a new recruit who’s never seen me before?! I’ll ignore that insult this time, but don’t let it happen again!” With that, Snow tries to shove her way through, but the soldier doesn’t budge. “I know who you are, Lady Snow. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news…” “Yes, we’ve, um…been told to only allow you in if it’s an emergency…” “What?! Why?!” I guess Snow’s recent string of screwups has come back to bite her. “How dare you expendables mock me! I’ll show you what it means to denigrate a knight!” “Oh no, she’s drawn her blade! Call for backup!” “This one’s no longer a knight, just a common criminal! Apprehend her!” Ignoring the bustle behind us, Alice and I decide to go join Tillis— “…Sir Six, Ms. Alice, my apologies for the sudden summons. The Demon Lord’s emissary has arrived…” I suppose you could call it the castle’s salon. Inside the spacious room are some expensive-looking sofas, and sitting across from Tillis is a winged demon girl. She seems friendly enough. She stands when she notices us. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Camille. I am a dream demon and longtime servant of the Demon Lord. I’ve been tasked with serving as the representative in the cease-fire negotiations with the kingdom of Grace.” Camille then bows deeply. “I’m the Kisaragi Corporation’s negotiator, Miss Alice Kisaragi. Nice to meet ya.” Alice’s introduction is brief. While the other party might be a young woman, we can’t very well afford to be underestimated by an industry rival. I stick my hands in my pockets, look her up and down, and glare. “Yo, I’m the Kisaragi rep in charge of things around here. You could say we’re a mercenary group of sorts. The name’s Six. Mr. Combat Agent Six…” …Wait, back up. Did she just introduce herself as—? “…Did you just say you were a dream demon? Like…one of those demons who let you have really sexy dreams? Are you a succubus or something?” “N-no, I’m afraid I’m slightly different from a succubus. I’m a Lilim, and while we do use dreams to tempt people, much like a succubus, the dreams we conjure aren’t, um, the erotic kind…” Camille seems a lot more normal than the weirdos we’ve encountered so far. Even the mention of sexy dreams makes her blush faintly as she continues her explanation. “So you’re in the same line of work as succubi, but you don’t deal in sexy dreams… A succubus downgrade, in other words.” “N-not at all! We’re not inferior! In fact, we Lilim are the very first demons birthed by the Mother of All Demons herself: the Great Demon Lilith! We’re her chosen children! True elites!” … “<Alice! Aliiiice! Did you just hear what she said?! She’s Lady Lilith’s daughter! What the hell?! Who’s her dad, then?!>” “<Calm down, Six. We’ll make sure to file a proper report. But you know, the phrase Mother of All Demons is really similar to Lady Lilith’s habit of calling herself the ‘mother of all mutants.’ With that much of a similarity, it can’t be a coincidence. Let’s have the other Supreme Leaders ask her directly.>” Camille tilts her head in confusion when she hears us speaking Japanese. “Sorry about that; the unexpected information threw me off a moment. Let’s get back on topic. What were you saying about boobs?” “That word hasn’t come up at all! What is wrong with you?! Are you enjoying mocking me?!” As Camille starts raising her voice, Tillis holds up her hands to calm her down. “Despite their eccentricities, their strength is the real deal. After all, Sir Six is the one who defeated the Elite Four pillar, Gadalkand of the Earth.” “This is the man who took down Lord Gadalkand…,” says Camille in surprise, her eyes going wide. “Hold on, that happened in battle. You’re not gonna bring that up now, are you? We’ve had plenty of soldiers killed by you guys, too.” “No, we understand and have no intention of raising it as an issue… I see. So you’re the one Lady Heine mentioned…” At the sudden mention of Heine’s name, I can’t help but ask: “What did she say about me? By my calculations, it should be about time for her to fall head over heels for me.” Based on what I know from reading manga and light novels, since I’ve let her go multiple times after our battles, I should be getting my confession of love any day… All I need now is an event where I save her life, and then my favor with her will be maxed out, I’m sure. “F-fall for…? Um, well, she said you were a very strong person…” I find Camille’s evasiveness suspicious and ask again. “…What else? She’s been trash-talking me, hasn’t she?” “N-no, not at… Well. She did mention that you took lots of embarrassing photographs of her and that you thoroughly humiliated her by stealing her underwear before she teleported, but…” I would’ve complained if her words were nothing more unsubstantiated rumors, but sadly, I remember doing all that. “But wait, why isn’t Heine the emissary? Was she so afraid of being sexually harassed by me that she sent you instead?” “N-no, that’s not it at all! Lady Heine is currently—” As Camille begins to explain, Tillis cuts her off by sharply clapping her hands together. “That’s quite enough small talk. We have far too much to discuss to fritter away our time…” “True. I have demands of the Demon Lord’s Army as Kisaragi’s head of negotiations. Though, to be more precise, they concern the mysterious facilities in your castle.” As the two schemers begin talking, Camille, with a tense expression, balls her hands into fists atop her lap. “With regards to that matter, I have already received the Demon Lord’s blessing for you to conduct whatever investigations you desire.” …Huh? “I had expected a little more pushback, but that was rather quick, wasn’t it…? For our part, we would like to discuss matters of reparations and cessation of hostilities…” “On those subjects, the Demon Lord would like to meet directly to discuss terms. As such, if you could dispatch a representative with the authority to make decisions…” The conversation proceeds unusually smoothly. Did Lilith’s overwhelming show of force really scare them into submission? Just then, Alice and Tillis exchange glances as though confirming something. “Understood. Then I’ll head to the castle. What about scheduling?” At Alice’s words, Camille lets out a sigh of relief. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but we would prefer if you could come immediately…” With that, she bows deeply once again… 4 The next day. “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! What those soldiers said made me a bit nervous, but it seems I still retain the highest confidence of Her Highness!” As our buggy zooms across the land, Snow is indulging in some gleeful cackling. To think she’d been locked in the dungeon by the castle’s soldiers while we were busy negotiating… “Listen up, Six. Now is the time to make use of my information. You brought my report, yes?” “The one saying the Demon Lord is greedy and arrogant, right? Yeah, I have it. I’m kinda skeptical now. If that was true, I don’t think negotiations would’ve begun so smoothly…” As I voice my suspicions in the passenger’s seat, Alice, driving the buggy, addresses me in Japanese. “<If the Demon Lord is exactly as the report says, this meeting is likely to be a trap. That’s probably why Tillis is sending Snow to represent the kingdom.>” “<…So she wanders into the Demon Lord’s Castle and immediately gets killed? If that’s how it is, aren’t we in danger, too?>” And for that matter, I still think it’s suspicious that Heine wasn’t sent as the emissary. As for the actual emissary, Camille, she’s gliding through the air in front of the buggy. “<If it’s a trap, we’ll just show our rivals what happens when you mess with Kisaragi. I mean, that’s why we brought Rose along. We’ll wreck the place.>” She says it so casually, but it wouldn’t be out of the question for the Demon Lord to be a mutant-level fighter. In the back seat of the buggy are Rose, looking happily at the passing landscape, and Grimm, who’s soundly asleep. Rose is obviously coming along because she has things to discuss with the Demon Lord, but I loaded Grimm into the back seat while she was sleeping because she cried when we left her behind last time. “<I mean, sure, we can’t let them underestimate us as an evil organization, but still… Are you sure we’ve got enough manpower here? You’ve at least got an exit plan, right?>” I glance up at Snow as she sticks her head out the sunroof and cackles. Suddenly, I’m worried about our party composition. “<It’s still possible we’re walking into a trap. The one thing we know for sure is that their recent defeat at the hands of Lady Lilith has them playing defensively. The negotiations might go smoother than you expect.>” While Lilith ordinarily contributes nothing but complications, would she be the one who gets the credit in this case? “<Besides, in the worst-case scenario, I can always self-destruct. Just leave that to me.>” “<Why do you always include self-destructing in your options?>” “You two need to stop yammering in your mother tongue! We’re almost close enough to see the Demon Lord’s Castle! You better not mess things up!” Redirecting my attention to Snow’s remark, I see the faint outlines of an enormous, fortified castle. The building has such a modern appearance that it makes the kingdom of Grace’s royal palace look like ancient ruins. I have no doubt that it’s a relic of the previous era. A while later, as we approach the Demon Lord’s castle, it’s clear there’s no city surrounding it. Sitting right in the middle of the wastelands, the Demon Lord’s Castle looks like an impenetrable fortress. “B-Boss, the gate opened by itself! There’s someone hiding in the shadow of the entrance! We need to watch out for an ambush!” “Heh, Rose, chill. That’s called an automatic door; it’s a convenience of technology that’s pretty common in our country. I doubt there’s anyone here.” As I explain how automatic doors work to a frazzled Rose, Camille lands near us. Looks like she’s going to be guiding us from this point on. Which means we’ll have to park the buggy here, I guess. As for Grimm, it’d be a hassle to wake her and explain the situation, so we’re gonna leave her behind. I mean, we brought her along this time, at least, so I don’t think she’s going to cry. Just then, Camille, who has been gazing intently at our buggy, confirms everyone other than Grimm has disembarked… “Very well, please come this way… Welcome to the Demon Lord’s Castle. If you step inside, abandon all hope of making it out alive—” “Showing your true colors, huh? Raaaaagh!” Before Camille finishes her line, I jump her! “No, it’s a misunderstanding! That was just a line we’re supposed to tell everyone who comes to the Demon Lord’s Castle!” Camille sobs her explanation as I keep her restrained. Snow, meanwhile, waves the blade of her magic sword in front of our guide. “You have some nerve to suddenly threaten me, the kingdom’s emissary…” “Please wait! It really is an old custom! I’m not lying! Please believe me!” While Snow refuses to hear Camille out, Alice and I each place a hand on the knight’s shoulders. “Hold on, Snow, she’s probably telling the truth. It likely is the custom to greet visitors to the Demon Lord’s Castle with that line.” “Six is right. I wouldn’t be surprised if our competitor had their own manual full of rules and guidelines.” As Alice and I nod in understanding, Camille and Snow widen their eyes. “Um, wow, I didn’t expect humans to understand a custom that even most demons find meaningless…” “Y-you two seriously think there’s a custom that’s this stupid?” Both Snow and Camille sound thoroughly surprised, but it’s common practice among evil organizations. After all, the Kisaragi manual dictates its own method of dealing with intruders. And of course, next to me, Rose, who is probably the most sympathetic to this sort of theatrical display, nods along. “…I don’t understand why, but it seems I’m the only one who doesn’t get it… Very well, I’ll let it slide this time, but try to avoid any confusing statements like that in the future.” “B-but there’s a customary greeting before you meet the Demon Lord… I’m sorry, I’ll skip it this time!” With Snow still brandishing her magic sword menacingly, Camille proceeds. I figured the Demon Lord’s Castle would be filled with demons, but oddly, the castle itself seems pretty empty. We occasionally run into some armored orcs, and Rose intimidates them each time by looking at them with the eyes of a starving predator. Considering where we are, I was expecting much creepier decor, but the interior is well lit, and the hallways are all spotless. Eventually, we begin climbing a seemingly endless flight of stairs. Just as my thoughts go to the fact that both Kisaragi Supreme Leaders and the Demon Lord were alike in preferring to live in high spaces— “Now, if you could all come this way. Beyond this door awaits the Demon Lord Viper.” Our guide, Camille, stops in front of a giant door. The Demon Lord is supposedly haughty and selfish. But apparently, he’s also committed to bringing glory and prosperity to demonkind. Snow had been babbling something about taking the population of the demon territory hostage to get an advantage in negotiations, but… …Wait, the Demon Lord’s name is Viper? I could’ve sworn it was Mailman or something. Just then, Snow moves from her spot near the door and circles behind me. “Well, let’s allow our commander the honor of going in first. We leave it to you to make a good first impression, sir!” “Screw that! Don’t only call me Commander when it’s convenient for you! What happened to all that enthusiasm you had on the way here? I don’t wanna go in first, either!” Ignoring our attempts to shove each other through first, Alice fearlessly opens the door. Inside the middle of the dimly lit room, we can see the outline of a person. And standing there is… “Welcome, brave yet foolhardy humans… In acknowledgment of the courage it took for you to appear before me, I shall grant you all swift and painless deaths…” …a beautiful, silver-haired young woman who looks nothing like the Demon Lord described in our briefings. Her face is beet-red as she delivers her address. 5 According to Snow’s information, the Demon Lord was supposed to be some middle-aged guy. So who the hell is this hottie trying to play it cool while blushing all the way to the tips of her ears? Anyway, first things first. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. From the top, please.” “Huh…?” The bashful girl clearly wasn’t expecting anyone to request an encore, and she freezes. “Yeah, I need to hear that again. I’ll record it this time, so go ahead.” “Um… A-all right, I understand… One more time, then…” “Lady Viper, you don’t need to bother with the customary greeting! These people are just teasing you, Your Majesty!” As the trembling young woman prepares to repeat herself, Camille hurriedly stops her. I’m sure the whole thing about a “swift and painless death” was just a part of the Demon Lord’s greeting. The Kisaragi Supreme Leaders all have similar rehearsed lines, so I get it. Standing at the head of our group, Alice speaks up. “I’m the negotiator representing the Kisaragi Corporation, Ms. Alice. Given that we’re on the top floor of the castle and you’re being addressed as Lady Viper, can I assume you’re the Demon Lord?” …Huh? “Wait, hold up. Is this girl really the Demon Lord? …Thank god! Having some edgy old man as the Demon Lord is so overdone! She seems like a pretty normal girl if you ask me, but that’s still way better than a guy!” “You’re in Her Majesty’s presence! Get a hold of yourself!” As my mood skyrockets, Camille does her best to calm me down. “E-emissaries of the kingdom of Grace, I thank you for coming all this way. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Viper, the Demon Lord,” Viper, still blushing, introduces herself. “…Now, then. Camille, thank you for your exemplary service thus far. I’ll take it from here. In my absence, I leave things in your capable hands.” “Y-Your Majesty…! …Please take care!” For some reason, Camille is on the verge of tears as she says this and repeatedly turns to look at Viper while making her way out of the room. That’s weird. The information we got ahead of time mentioned a haughty, selfish personality, so what was with that exchange? And what did she mean by “in her absence”…? Still, I decide to do as I was instructed by Alice on the way here and intimidate the enemy. “First off, the pleasure’s all mine, Your Majesty. I’m Combat Agent Six. You can go ahead and call me Mr. Six. Feel free to think of us as mercenaries hired by the kingdom of Grace. Our organization’s name is the Kisaragi Corporation. Like you, we’re also an evil organization.” “A—a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Six. I have heard much about you from Heine of the Flames.” For some reason, the Demon Lord shuffles backward after learning my name. Just how badly did Heine drag my name through the mud? “I don’t know what she said about me, but we have two demands! First, I trust you’re aware of how powerful we are, judging by the results of our recent skirmish. But if you insist we keep fighting, we’re happy to oblige! Just know if you are willing to agree to a cease-fire, then we demand reparations. Second, I want you to have a chat with this girl here.” Without relaxing my intimidating stance, I lightly nudge Rose from behind. “Um, I’m Rose, a Battle Chimera! I’m here today to ask the Demon Lord about my origins!” As Rose’s voice cracks from nerves, Viper smiles gently and responds: “Of course. I’m aware of your request, and I hope Russell, your fellow Battle Chimera, is doing well.” “Y-y-yes! He seems very happy doing chores while dressed as a maid! He complains a lot, but he does so with a smile!” “Chores? While dressed as a maid? I see… If he’s happy, then that’s what is important. But…a maid? Why is he wearing girls’ clothes?” Viper seems to be struggling to come to grips with something, but now’s not the time to dwell on Russell’s preferences. “Yo, Ms. Demon Lord, putting aside the cross-dressing Chimera, let’s talk about the glutton Chimera instead. It looks like the weird facilities under this building are related to Rose somehow. Let’s have a look at those first, shall we?” “Oh, of course. I’ll show you around, then. This way, please.” Saying that, Viper steps to the side and continues out the door. …Huh? “<Alice, Alice, I think she’s really gonna give us a tour. What do you think? Is this a trap?>” “<No, but I would have thought the mystery facilities would be an important bargaining chip for them…>” As we start our discussion in Japanese, Viper tilts her head curiously at us. If she’s going to show us around, we may as well go take a look. Still, the more I look at Viper as she leads the way, the more she just seems like a normal girl to me. “Hey, Alice, isn’t it crazy how reliable Snow’s intel was? The Demon Lord’s a greedy, arrogant old man, just like she said he’d be!” “I know, right? She did say her network of information was the best of the best, but I’m truly blown away.” “Wha?! N-no, you’ve got it all wrong! According to my information, the Demon Lord is supposed to be a middle-aged man! Besides! The name is different! The Demon Lord’s name was supposed to be Mehlmehl!” Snow desperately lines up her excuses, but her information’s already worthless. Viper, who has been walking in front of us, stops and turns around. “Mehlmehl was my father. That is…I recently succeeded him…” …? “Hey, Alice, isn’t a succession at this time a little weird? And this girl doesn’t really seem fit to be a Demon Lord.” “…It’s definitely weird. It’d be best if we could have someone give us more information.” Well sure, but the only person we know related to the Demon Lord’s Army is… Oh, right, Heine. Where the hell is she? Being able to ask her would make things a lot easier. “Hey, Ms. Demon Lord, why isn’t Heine around? What’s she up to? We figured she would’ve been the one sent to talk to us.” At my words, Viper looks a little bit at a loss. “…Heine is currently imprisoned in the dungeon. Would you like to see her?” 6 We follow Viper into the dungeon, where Rose makes an odd observation. “…Huh, this place looks familiar for some reason…” She then looks around curiously before wandering off into a random room. “…Hey, Ms. Demon Lord, is it fine for her to just wander around like that?” “Yes, it’s not a problem. After all, wasn’t her goal to investigate this area?” Rose’s sudden behavior sort of bothers me, but if Viper doesn’t have a problem with it, then I guess I’ll just let her do her thing. Anyway, Heine comes first. I need to see her and ask her just what’s going on… I suddenly feel someone’s gaze on me, so I about-face and lock eyes with a flustered Heine. She’s imprisoned in a spotless jail cell. She’s sitting in the middle of the cell with her knees cradled against her chest. She freezes in place and stares at us. I point to Heine and— “Look at that! One of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four is locked in a cell! Wow, how embarrassing! Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That’s rich! Ah-ha-ha-ha!” “S-Six, you bastard! Stop laughing! Who do you think is responsible for the situation I’m in?!” “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Good job, Six! Keep taunting her! That bitch melted one of my magic swords! You there, guard, do you have anything long and pointy? Like a stick, perhaps? I want to poke her through the bars!” As Snow and I mock her, Heine grabs hold of the iron bars of her cell and yells back at us, but it seems her sorcerer stone has been taken from her, leaving her unable to summon her flames. I move close enough so that I’m just out of reach from the opposite side of the bars. “Hey now, you shouldn’t blame other people for your problems. What wrong? Are you grumpy because they don’t feed you anything tasty down here? Here, have everyone’s favorite snack, Calorie-Z!” “S-screw you! I don’t need your charity…… You asshole! If you’re gonna hand it over, then hand it over! Stop teasing me! I’ll kill you!” <<Evil Points Acquired. Evil Points Acquired.>> As I wave the calorie bar around just out of Heine’s reach, Viper places her hand on my shoulder. “I understand you harbor hatred toward Heine for killing many of your kingdom’s soldiers. However, she was only following the orders of her country. Please…”
Chapter 56
42 min read