3 After Lilith flees back to her room, Alice and I stand on the rooftop, looking up at a sky filled with stars. With a Supreme Leader coming over here, I knew my days on this rock were limited, but… “It’s all moving so quickly…” “What’s with the long face? Got something on your mind?” Oh, right, she’s staying behind. I wonder what’ll happen to this planet once I go home, leaving Alice bereft of her partner and conscience. “Hey, Alice, what do you think of your mission on this planet anyway? Are you really planning to take over the place?” “Well, of course. You do recall we were sent here to secure enough land for humanity’s survival, right? Failure means the end of humanity.” …Oh yeah. I’d forgotten just how important our mission is. It’s something I learned only recently, but the various problems facing the Earth are a lot more serious than most people are led to believe. The general public thinks we still have a couple hundred years of fossil-fuel reserves left, but the reality is we’re gonna run out in a few decades. The issue of feeding the growing population will to lead to war if things stay the way they are. As for pollution, things are a lot worse than people are led to believe, and we might very well be past the point of no return. According to Lilith the scientist, the problems are so bad that the only real solution is for humanity to go extinct… If word gets out, there’s going to be mass panic and chaos in the streets. There’s nothing quite like having no hope for the future to make people do stupid things. I guess it’s like Snow not knowing about the Mud King slumbering beneath this very kingdom. Frankly, I would’ve been better off not knowing about that. Even if the world’s countries try to come together for the sake of humanity’s future, they won’t be able to put aside their old grudges and petty interests, and the situation’s too dire to let them fight it out. It’s cruel irony that the only solution is for an evil organization like us to force everyone to do what’s best. “…Still, it’s not like things will get worse for the locals of this planet. From my investigations, the amount of settled land on this world is small. Only about three percent of the globe is populated. My guess is that, at this rate, both humans and demons are doomed to extinction.” While I’m waxing sentimental, the android chimes in with a reality check. “…Dammit! No hope for either world, huh? We find a pretty, new planet, only to discover that everyone’s still in a hell of a fix. At this rate, I’m never gonna get to live out my days in decadence.” I lie down on the hard, concrete roof, whining as I gaze up at the sky. Alice lies down to join me and stares up at the sky herself. “Yeah, on this planet, a bunch of tiny kingdoms are clinging to life on a handful of livable areas. Everyone’s busy fighting monsters and natural disasters. The war against the Demon Lord’s Army is really the least of their worries. It’d be easier if we could just find an undeveloped world with no dangerous life-forms, but…” We come all the way to an alien planet brimming with fantastic possibilities, and yet the harsh grip of reality won’t let go. From up here on the roof, the night sky looks sparklingly clear, perhaps due to the lack of pollution. As I drink in the unfamiliar constellations hovering overhead, I fully realize I’m not on Earth anymore. Keeping my gaze on the sky, I ask Alice: “…Hey, Alice, you’ve heard from Lady Lilith, right? I’m going back to Earth with her once the survey on the ruins is done.” “Yep, I’ve known about that for ages. Once you leave, things are gonna get busy around here.” …Huh? “Aw, Alice, are you saying you’re gonna end up with a lot more work once you no longer have my superior abilities to support you? First Lady Lilith, now you. You two oughta just say how you really feel more often.” “No, that’s not it. I’ll just have a lot more freedom when I’m not stuck babysitting you anymore. The conquest of this planet’s going to take a great leap forward, so I’ll have a lot to do.” Despite the ideal setting—gazing up at a beautiful night sky on an alien world—this snarky android is busy insulting me. I guess she can’t help it; she’s just a machine. She can’t understand her partner getting sentimental at the idea of parting. “Oh yeah? That’s rich coming from you, Alice. I remember you talking about how much of a meathead I was when we first met. And now what? I’m being recalled to Earth because I’m priceless!” Despite my gloating, Alice shows no annoyance or regret that we’ll soon go our separate ways. “…Y-yeah? That’s nice. Sure, you’re plenty useful. Take care of yourself when you get home… Listen up, okay? When you get back to Earth, Lady Belial’s probably going to order you to go support her. Say that you got food poisoning from something you ate on this planet and shirk those orders for as long as you can.” ………… “Huh, wait just a minute. I’m gonna get sent somewhere after I return to Earth? Where’s Lady Belial fighting right now? Okay, you convinced me; I’m staying.” I find myself losing my nerve at Alice’s warning. “…No. If my guess is off, you’ll be on easy street at headquarters.” Alice speaks without meeting my eyes, but now I’m desperate for confirmation. “I’ve yet to see your guesses not pan out! Goddammit, how did I end up in this situation anyway?! This is all Lady Lilith’s fault! She’s so damn useless. I’m gonna sneak her some pork and say, Wow, I didn’t know you liked orc meat!” “Count me in when you do that. Lady Lilith pretends to be a gourmand, but she doesn’t know the first thing about fine dining. That nouveau riche boss will happily devour orc meat if you tell her it’s foie gras.” I’m pretty sure she’d be able to tell the difference between foie gras and orc meat, but given the weird gaps in Lilith’s knowledge, I find it more than plausible. “That good-for-nothing boss always asks too much of us. Every week, she sends me off to buy her weekly manga magazines when they release, even if it’s on my day off.” “It’s completely unacceptable that she sends her subordinates to run her little errands. She made me fetch coffee. The nerve. That’s the sort of job for Edo-era tea-pouring dolls, not advanced androids!” “Yeah, totally! Where does she get off? In fact, she once sent me to—” Under a sky dotted with stars that bear no resemblance to those looking down on Earth… …Alice and I while away the hours until the light of the rising sun erases the flickering pinholes in the heavens…just griping about our useless boss. 4 The next day. “I’m not entirely sure it’s safe to go with just myself and the useless Lady Lilith, so I brought along some help.” “I’m the hired help, Patrasche.” “Are you mocking me?!” I introduce Patrasche to Lilith at the hideout’s front gate and promptly get yelled at. “Why are you so angry, Lady Lilith? This one’s the most competent out of my various troops.” “My signature move is an arm lock from a mounted position after a tackle.” After her introduction, Patrasche strikes a fighting pose. “No, that’s not what I’m talking about! Who is this mutant fursuit girl?” Patrasche, aka Rose, really seems to like her fursuit, so she’s been living as Patrasche even after the Undead Festival. “There’s a deep reason for this. See, she usually spends her days as an old man’s pet.” “A-an old man’s pet?! What the hell does that mean?! Based on the voice, that’s a young girl in there, isn’t there?” Kisaragi has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to sex crimes against children. Seems Lilith has jumped to the wrong conclusion and looks extremely angry. “No, you’ve got the wrong idea, Lady Lilith. She’s a growing girl and eats a lot, so we’re fooling the old man and having him feed her.” “I even get dessert.” “I can’t understand what the heck you’re trying to say! Despite having one of the greatest minds in human history, I can’t make heads or tails of what you’re talking about! This planet really is just full of nonsense!” Evidently, this is all too much for Lilith to process, and she’s cradling her head, letting out a cry of despair. I mean, sure, we’re scamming the old man, but it’s a harmless white lie that leaves everyone happy. No harm, no foul. “She may look kind of ridiculous, but when it comes to combat, she can give me a run for my money.” “I’m ready to go, ma’am! I’m also ready to gnaw on the boss as needed!” Ignoring Rose, Lilith turns her back on us. “I’m not going to try to make sense of this anymore! Let’s head to the ruins!” Rose and I follow Lilith as she starts toward the woods. “Oh, as an aside—in an emergency, she’s got a breath attack.” “Fire breath, to be specific.” “Wait, I can’t just ignore that! What’s that all about? Just who are you, Patrasche?!” I’m giving Rose the rundown on Lady Lilith as we make our way to the ruins. “So Lady Lilith is the one responsible for sending me to this planet. That’s why I planned to get a little revenge by fooling her into coming here as well, but she’s been totally useless ever since she arrived.” Once this mission’s over, both Lilith and I are heading back to Earth. Given Lilith’s usual shyness and her introvert’s tendency to misjudge how close she is to people, it looks like she’s decided not to make friends with Rose, seeing as she’ll probably have to leave too soon afterward. “There are spots here and there that I don’t quite understand, but essentially, without Lady Lilith’s orders, Boss wouldn’t have come to this kingdom, right?” Despite being inside a cumbersome animal suit, Rose cuts us a path through the obnoxiously deep woods. …I don’t know if it’s because she’s a highly adaptable Chimera, but I’m impressed. How is she able to waltz through these woods like that? “Yeah, I guess that’s true. You know, I really thought I was done for, given that she teleported me way up into the air. I was so angry that I swore if I ever got back to Earth, I’d grope Lady Lilith until she cried.” At my last sentence, Lilith, who’s been keeping her distance, shudders. The Supreme Leader responsible for tricking me into coming to this place hurriedly begins making excuses. “S-Six, wait just a moment. There was a good reason for that. The first teleportation always has a margin of error. If you wound up inside the planet or deep under the sea, you’d have no chance of survival. And when it comes to teleporting you onto the surface, it’s impossible to do so near the ground. But if we sent you up into the sky, it’d be at a height from which you could survive a fall. Neither you nor Alice would fall fast enough to burn up in the stratosphere.” ……Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! “Wait, what’d you just say? You teleported us into the stratosphere on purpose?! If you’d sent me a little higher, I would’ve been in space, dammit!” Lilith trembles as I approach but continues speaking. “Y-you still would’ve survived that! You Combat Agents have enough modifications to survive around three minutes even in deep space! Even if you’d ended up there, I figured the planet’s gravity would catch you in time. B-besides, it worked out in the end, so I was right!” This damn brat is really trying to turn this on me now! Despite her excuses, this boss from hell seems to realize she’s at a disadvantage, as she backs away, eyeing me warily. “You really think I’m just gonna let you make me out to be the unreasonable one here?! Listen, short stack, I’m definitely groping you till you cry!” “Did you just call your boss a short stack?! I’m going to tell Astaroth about this at the Supreme Leader meeting and have her yell at you… W-wait, Six! Okay, why don’t we talk?! What do you want? Do you want me to set something up for you?” The boss from hell, well aware she’s getting nowhere, begins trying to negotiate as I stomp closer. “As a Supreme Leader, I have a fair bit of influence, you know… Stop! Don’t come any closer! Y-you sure about this?! You wanna fight?! You know I’ll kick your ass, right?!” Lilith, with a pleading expression, opens her lab coat so she can quickly deploy her tentacles in a show of intimidation, but at that moment… …a soft chuckling emerges from the fursuit, which looks completely out of place in the middle of the woods. While I can’t see her expression because of the getup, Rose is quaking with laughter. “Ah-ha-ha-ha… You know, Lady Lilith and Boss, you two are less like supervisor and subordinate and more like friends!” “Hold on there, Mutant Fursuit Girl, this useless Combat Agent is more like a failure of a younger brother than a friend. Do you have any idea how much trouble this man causes me…?” “Say what?! Why am I, your literal senior, the younger brother, you useless boss?! I constantly get stuck with missions that are basically putting out your brush fires! I’m the one being screwed by you!” As the two of us exchange close-range insults, Rose keeps laughing. “I feel like I’m watching a fight between you and Snow, Boss. I mean, I have to thank you, Lady Lilith! If you’d sent someone else instead of the boss here…it’s possible we’d have been monster food by now!” …… Rose drops a pretty heavy endorsement despite her cheery demeanor, and the two of us feel our hostility melt away as we exchange glances. “Hey, Six, this fursuit girl… In contrast to her dumb appearance, she’s saying some pretty deep stuff.” “Well, she’s got a bit of a history herself. The reason she’s dressed like this is because she’s pretending to be the dead pet of an old man who doesn’t have much time left.” Hearing this, Lilith turns to Rose, whom she’d been avoiding until now. “…Six, does that mean Patrasche might be the most normal of your subordinates?” “Well, for one thing, when she’s hungry, she has no problem eating orc meat. Hell, she even tried to devour me once… Still, she’s our squad’s conscience.” …… “Wait, I just heard something I can’t ignore. When you say she tried to ‘devour you,’ did you mean that in a pervy way?” “Nope, I meant it in the food way. She literally tried to eat me.” 5 Although Lilith initially backed far away from Rose, they eventually got past the misunderstanding, and now they’re getting along pretty well. “—Which is when I told them: We’re part of the forces of darkness, wrapping the night around us and sleeping in death’s cradle. Leave now, or you’ll never see the dawn to this night… Cool, right?” “That’s impressive, Lady Lilith! That’s the sort of line my grandpa used to say!” Lilith has taken a shine to Rose, who has a tendency to make various painfully awkward and melodramatic statements. Maybe it’s understandable. I mean, she does call herself Lilith the Black with a straight face. She’s so cringey that she makes Rose, who was thoroughly infected by her grandfather’s bullshit, look normal in comparison. “My grandpa would often say that the foolish dregs of humanity should just be destroyed by our hand.” “Patrasche, your grandpa doesn’t feel like a stranger to me. I used to say similar things when I was a kid.” It’s only been a few hours, but it seems they’ve found common ground. My grandiose boss and delusional subordinate are getting along fabulously. “Yeah, I can’t think of you as a stranger, either, Lady Lilith. Your white clothes, your way of speaking—it all reminds me of my grandpa.” I suppose when I think about it, Lilith and Rose are of a similar age, and neither of them really fit in with the world around them. No doubt they’ve got a lot in common. Just then, as though having an epiphany, Lilith goes from cheerful to pensive. “…Your grandpa wore a lab coat like mine? Meaning he was a scientist on this planet…?” “I don’t know what a scientist is, but he often used to say he was going to make the greatest life-form there ever was, and then he’d cackle in that odd way of his.” The description makes Lilith glance away for some reason. …Oh yeah, that reminds me. She would often cackle in the operating room, saying something about creating the ultimate mutant. According to Lilith, it’s a sort of ritual before rolling the dice on the mutant lockbox. From the perspective of the mutant getting modified, it’s a hell of a thing to learn that whatever happens comes down to luck. It’s things like this that doom her to perennial unpopularity in the polls. “Well, unlike the other three lackeys, you’re pretty sharp. Oh, look at this, Patrasche. There’s a mysterious mushroom growing on the crook of this tree. I’ve seen them sprout near the roots and rotted trunks plenty of times, but… Hey, wait! Patrasche, stop!” “They’re crunchy and pretty tasty. Would you like some, Lady Lilith?” No sooner has Lilith pointed out mushrooms growing on the crook of a tree than Rose snatches a handful and begins eating them. “P-Patrasche, in the wild, you need to be particularly careful with mushrooms. It’s risky to just randomly toss them into your mouth…and you’re eating those raw…” Lilith is a bit repulsed as Rose pulls the raw fungi under her mask, crunching into them, and the little scientist does her best to explain the danger. “I understand, Lady Lilith. I’ll make sure to cook them from now on! Oh, there’s some pretty mushrooms here, too. I’ll take them home and roast them before eating them.” “You’re not getting it! You missed my point entirely, Patrasche! Don’t eat mushrooms you’ve never seen before! Especially not ones that are rainbow colored! That’s the mushroom’s way of saying it’s super poisonous!” Rose, evidently having acquired a taste for poisonous mushrooms, begins gathering more as Lilith frantically tries to stop her. “I won’t tell you not to eat them, but at least wait until I test them.” “I understand, Lady Lilith. Let’s make a hot pot out of them once you’ve finished your tests. Orc meat’s been really cheap lately.” Having taken a tour of the farms recently, Lilith’s expression freezes at the mention of orc meat. “Um, are you really that hungry, Patrasche? Six, teach this girl some survival skills. Mushrooms are a big no-no. If you’re hungry and facing starvation, then bugs are the best source of nourishment. They look unappetizing, but they’ve got plenty of nutrients, and most are poison-free.” “Lady Lilith, bugs are the one thing I’d like to avoid eating.” “Uh, Lady Lilith, I can’t eat bugs, either.” Our quick responses prompt Lilith to look at us like particularly dim children. “What sort of miserable excuses for Kisaragi Combat Agents are you two? You’re happy to eat orcs capable of human speech, but you’re afraid of eating bugs?” Lilith shrugs her shoulders in exasperation. “Oh, hey, there’s a purple cricket over there, Rose. It’s croaking like a frog. Grab it for Lady Lilith’s lunch.” “Leave it to me, Lady Lilith! I’ll go grab it!” “Okay, okay, I was wrong! A croaking cricket is a bit beyond even my ability to eat! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!” 6 Six hours after departing the hideout. We’ve finally arrived at the ruins, which are actually just a stone’s throw from our base. “We’re finally here, Patrasche. Even if you see something moving, don’t put it into your mouth, okay?” “I’d appreciate it if you don’t go wandering off every time something catches your eye, Lady Lilith. These woods are full of dangerous critters.” The main reason it’s taken us so long to get here is these two: Rose, who tries to down anything that looks remotely edible, and Lilith, who can’t resist pocketing anything remotely peculiar. Because these two have taken their sweet time, the sun’s already dipping under the horizon. “What are we gonna do now, Lady Lilith? The plan was to wander over, go inside, and do a little surveying, but it’ll be a chore getting back to the hideout at this time of day.” I warily look around and provide a word of warning to Lilith and Rose, who are sitting at the entrance to the ruins, seemingly worn out from all their earlier excitement. “It’d be a hassle to go home now and come back later. Why don’t we just stay for the night and survey the ruins in the morning? With me here, we won’t have to worry about the monsters, at least.” Lilith has a smile on her face, but this is the sort of situation where it’s dangerous to count on this boss. “Why don’t we take a quick look around inside first, just in case? Right now, the only future I’m imagining is you letting your guard down and throwing a tantrum after some dangerous creature attacks you.” “…I hate it when you say stuff like that. You have a weird way of predicting these things… I wanted to rest, but fine, let’s take care of one last errand, Patrasche.” “Understood, Lady Lilith. Leave surveying these ruins to me. My memories of Grandpa include playing in a place like this!” Rose has occasionally said odd things like this while warming up to Lilith. Soon, we set foot inside the ruins the giant lizard had been guarding just the other day. For some reason, the interior is well lit, but thanks to the depth charge Lilith used when fighting the giant lizard, it’s also a disaster zone. “…I heard a giant lizard was guarding this place, but it looks like it didn’t do its job very well.” Rose makes her oblivious comment, and Lilith shoots me a glance, warning me to stay quiet. “Oh, the reason things are a mess in here is because of a weapon Lady Lilith used. The lizard was actually doing a good job.” “Hey! Traitor!” Unlike last time when we only glanced inside, Lilith is closely examining the ruins, and something seems to have taken her aback. “…Hey, Six, didn’t you say you searched through another ruin? Were the walls there made of the same material?” Lilith’s expression is, for once, that of a researcher. She squints as she runs her hands along the walls. “Do you really think I’d remember something like that? …Oh, but Snow was trying to carve out pieces of the walls and the wreckage to take home. She was going on about how, since we didn’t find any treasure, at the very least, she was gonna sell the scrap.” “I—I see. You know, if she’s willing to go that far, I’m actually kind of impressed at Snow’s dedication to money. Greed is one thing, but that’s a higher level of commitment than I was expecting. She definitely feels like the sort who’d stop at nothing to get cash.” That’s true. She’s the sort who’d sell her body if she could still ride a unicorn after. …Lilith tilts her head in confusion as she feels the wall. “Hmm…the numbers just don’t add up…” Rose and I exchange glances at this. “What is it, Lady Lilith? As long as it’s within two digits, I won’t screw up adding or subtracting. Since I’m your assistant today, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” “And I can count up to twenty-one using my fingers, toes, and tail.” “Right. I appreciate the thought. Thank you. But let me be absolutely clear that while we’re on assignment, you two need to stick with someone else who can handle the thinking.” After making that weird comment, Lilith resumes muttering to herself. “The tank that was discarded in the Grace Kingdom had clearly deteriorated from age. But the walls of these ruins show no signs of rust or wear, even though they’re clearly metal. If they have this sort of technology, why not use it on a tank? Sure, there’s the possibility this metal is too heavy or otherwise unsuited for the entire frame, but…even then, they’d at least coat the surface with it…” As Lilith loses herself in her thoughts… “Hey, Rose, looks like this is gonna take a while, so let’s play some tic-tac-toe. It’s a game where the one who lines up five O’s or X’s wins. Let’s say we’re betting on tonight’s dinner.” “Yes, I accept! I love that we’re betting food instead of money.” …Oh! “Just so we’re clear, it’s for ONE meal, okay? And it’s not all-you-can-eat. If I win, it’s not like I’ll eat that much, but you always randomly eat enough for ten people!” “Boss, you’re the boss, so don’t be so stingy. I think generous bosses are the coolest bosses!” “…Savages who use mysterious energy weapons, a robotic cannon disguised to look like a giant lizard—why do they try to hide traces of advanced technology on this planet? On the other hand, they just leave cheap combat vehicles out in the open. It’s almost like they’re intentionally placed there as a distraction…” Thirty minutes later. Having spent the entire time deep in thought, Lilith looks up as though she’s come to a realization. “Combat Agent Six! There’s an important question I need to ask you. In the other ruins you checked, were there any human remains?! The place where you said the giant robot was stored—was the robot the only thing you found?!” “Like I keep telling you, child of morons, learn the rules! You can only draw once during your turn, and you can’t erase and move your X on another turn!” “Then how about having my X and Boss’s O switch places? Otherwise, this isn’t fair! It feels like you have the advantage just by going first, Boss!” “Fine, we can start over with you going first! I mean, it’s like you’ve never played games before!” Lilith’s brow twitches as she sees us arguing over our tic-tac-toe game. “What are you two doing in the middle of an important mission?! If you want to play a game, I’ll buy you Othello, and you can play to your heart’s content after we’re done.” “I’ll take that Othello, but we’ve gotta finish this tic-tac-toe game first. She just won’t learn the rules.” “Grandpa used to say that if humans are creatures that live within the rules, then you, a creature made to destroy humanity, need not follow rules.” Oh, the fact that dinner’s on the line is causing her to completely abandon any semblance of restraint. “Quoting your grandpa whenever it’s convenient, huh? There’s no way he said that!” “H-he probably said it! I mean, it’s the sort of thing he’d say!” “I just made a huge discovery. Would you two pipe down a bit? If you keep arguing, you’ll get the tentacles!” After yelling at us, Lilith resumes scrutinizing the ruins. “…Yeah, that’s gotta be it! This place has been abandoned a long time, but the lights still work. And they’re electric…” Despite being a bit turned off by Lilith’s enthusiasm, I glance at the lights. “The glass balls are floating. What is this? There a fairy inside or something?” “No! Well, I don’t know what those fairy creatures are, either, but…this appears to be using ambient electrical fields for power. And it floats because it’s either using a material that negates gravity or employing some sort of antigravity technology.” I have no idea what Lilith is talking about, but I nod seriously. “So it’s lit with mystery power and floats using mystery power, right?” “Not even close!” I don’t understand this complex stuff, but I do notice something. “Why even go to this trouble? Why not just plug it into an outlet? In the other ruins, the lighting was embedded in the walls.” “That’s exactly it! There must be some reason for this. For example…Patrasche, are there a lot of earthquakes around these parts?” “Huh? Earth…quakes? I’ve heard they used to happen pretty frequently, but they stopped over the past few decades. Apparently, it was after the Sand King left the area.” Lilith nods as if the pieces are starting to click into place. She seems to be looking at something far off in the distance, as though she’s achieved some sort of enlightenment. “The Sand King is the giant mole that was in the reports, right? So why did the mole leave the Great Woods, where food was abundant? Could it be there was a monster that actually posed a threat to it? …For example, the giant lizard I defeated? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! …Six, there are so many things you can learn from just one floating light source. Do you understand the situation?” Lilith’s eyes go from staring into the distance to slowly losing interest. She ends up asking a question almost disinterestedly… “No, not at all.” “I don’t understand it at all, either!” “Fine. Never mind, then. It’s my fault for asking you two in the first place. Alice! Aliiiice! Dammit. No Alice when I actually need to talk to her! What to do, what to do? Guess we cut the survey short and temporarily withdraw all our Combat Agents back to Earth…” Lilith begins talking to herself again, and just as I completely lose track of what she’s saying… …I hear a deep, rumbling cry coming from the depths of the ruins. “……Six, I’m going back to the hideout. Go have a look around the lower levels.” “No way. This has gotta be one of those times when the person who checks winds up dead.” I try to assess the current situation based on Lilith’s behavior. This is a scenario that shows up in manga and stuff where, after a terrible secret is uncovered, the true villain arrives to silence the hapless discoverer. Likely reaching the same conclusion I have, Lilith begins looking around nervously. “Hey, Six, why don’t we head back to Earth? I feel like this planet’s got too many potential problems. Between an angel—a being connected to the very creation of the universe—appearing at random and extremely advanced tech being hidden underground, I think we’re in over our heads. Here’s what’s going to happen. We didn’t find anything on this expedition. After we leave, we just bury the entrance to these ruins.” “What are you talking about, Lady Lilith? I mean, I’m an idiot, so I don’t know the specifics, but even I can tell this is one hell of a find. I’m all for heading back to the hideout, but if we bury this, Lady Astaroth’s gonna tear us a new one for sure.” I figured Lilith would be thrilled finding new technology, but something’s wrong with her today. “I would be fine if the worst thing that happened was us getting chewed out by Astaroth. Let me explain this in a way even a meathead like you can understand. The folks who built these ruins decided to make floating light sources for the ridiculous reason that ‘it’d be inconvenient to lose light during an earthquake.’ There’s tech on Earth that lets you power appliances with electromagnetic fields in lieu of power cords, but that’s still years away from practical use. We’ve also got nothing that can make this sort of thing float for decades, maybe even centuries. Do you get it now? Whatever lived here had technology more advanced than anything humanity has ever developed.” Lilith explains her concerns with a deathly serious expression. “And? That really doesn’t make this any easier for me to get a handle on. I mean, Lady Lilith, you’ve got lots of advanced tech, but without your tentacles, a random stray cat can make you cry.” “Sh-shut up. We’re not talking about me right now! The gap in technology is the gap in power between species. We’re going to run into trouble if the country we invade ends up being stronger than us.” Lilith is clearly not having my attitude, going as far as to deploy a single tentacle to slap me on the cheek. Sure, the whole reason I was sent to this planet as a spy was to determine the locals’ level of advancement. So to some extent, I can understand what Lilith’s saying, but… Right at that moment— “Huh? What’s that? Something weird just grew out of Lady Lilith!” Seeing the tentacle emerge from Lilith’s lab coat, Rose lets out a yelp of surprise. “…Oh, um, sorry about that, Patrasche, but I’m busy trying to explain something important to Six…” As Lilith says this, looking like she’s at a loss on how to respond… “I remember seeing those wiggly silver things back when I was a kid!” …… “You know, I’ve wanted to ask this for a while, but I’ve been restraining myself. Patrasche, just who the hell are you?” Lilith’s tone is as quiet as her expression is serious. “I’m Patrasche, the Mounting Gorilla.” “Okay, I got that. Can we put that weird role-play aside for a minute? Tell me who you really are!” Having had her introduction interrupted, Patrasche just removes the fursuit head with a soft plomp. “Okay then, to properly reintroduce myself… I’m the boss’s subordinate and Chimera, Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Lilith!” Seeing Rose emerge from the fursuit, Lilith stares with her mouth agape. “…Wait, hold on. Just wait. Six, isn’t Rose the…?” “I did include her in my report, you know. She’s the one who can get stronger by taking on the properties of whatever she eats—a future mutant candidate and current Combat Agent Recruit, Rose.” Our explanation has Lilith cradling her head and squatting on the floor. “Wait, what the hell is going on?! I really don’t understand this at all! None of it! If this Rose is the Chimera, then who was the one who showed me his junk?” Oh, that’s what she doesn’t get. Lilith thought Russell was the Chimera I mentioned in my reports. “Are you serious, Lady Lilith? My reports were pretty clear that Rose is a girl.” “Well, sure, that’s what they said! But still!” Rose looks puzzled as the conversation leaves her far behind. “Just to verify. Miss Chimera, do you have a penis?” “Uh, I’m sorry, Lady Lilith. Until a few seconds ago, you reminded me a lot of my grandpa, but can I please take that back?” Lilith hurriedly shakes her head in response to Rose’s complete rejection of her. “Wait, hang on. Listen, will you, Miss Chimera? I have a good reason for asking…” “Russell showed off his junk to Lady Lilith while he was dressed in women’s clothing, so she thought sex and gender were trivial matters for Chimeras.” “I have a hard time thinking of Russell as a fellow Chimera…” “So Patrasche is Rose, as well as the Chimera from the reports. And you were raised in a facility like this one when you were a kid…and you’ve seen super-mechanical things that look like my tentacles.” “Yes, that about sums it up.” Lilith finally understands after Rose and I explain. “I wish you would’ve just introduced yourself as Rose to begin with. That way, I wouldn’t have gotten all confused… I mean, what sort of weird name is Patrasche…?” Seemingly exhausted from the recent exchange, Lilith slumps her shoulders with a sigh. “It’s not exactly persuasive when we try telling people not to use false names. After all, Lady Lilith, your real surname is Yasuda.” “D-don’t mention ‘Yasuda’! You know you’re forbidden from calling people by their real names once you join Kisaragi! But either way, we’re getting out of here! Now! Whatever made that groaning noise might be headed our way!” I don’t know when that rule was implemented, but Yasuda barks out orders, her face turning a bright shade of red. As Lilith blushes at being addressed by her actual name, someone tugs at her lab coat. Rose, looking really odd without her fursuit head, stares straight at the little scientist. “Lady Lilith, I think I might know this place. The voice we’re hearing doesn’t actually belong to anything scary.” She can’t tell how she could know such a thing. At least, that’s what her expression suggests. “Lady Lilith and Boss, you can return and wait at the hideout. I’ll go check deeper in,” offers Rose, smiling shyly to reassure us. 7 Thanks to a certain someone’s depth charge, many of the mysterious floating lamps have been shattered, leaving the halls in these ruins dimly lit. The wreckage of something is lying on its side at my feet… “Hey, Rose, this might be the place you grew up in, right? The person who wrecked it is standing right there. You’re welcome to hit her if you want.” “W-wait a second, Six! It’s not like you thought we’d find a ruin like this inside that giant lizard’s lair!” The fact that Lilith and I are more talkative than usual is just part of the fun. There’s no way that a Supreme Leader and a Combat Agent from an evil organization can run on home, leaving a girl to fend for herself in here. We managed to convince Rose not to go alone and have resumed our survey of the ruins. “Um, Boss, Lady Lilith, you don’t need to keep going if this is too much. You two get twitchy every time we find something odd, but for some reason, I’m not afraid of any of it. I should be fine on my own.” Rose continues leading us along the sparsely lit hallway. Using Rose’s tiny back as a marker, we continue deeper into these ruins, which reverberate with the creepy groaning. “…You know, looking at the wreckage strewn everywhere, it doesn’t seem like this stuff fell apart naturally. Just so we’re clear, my depth charge wasn’t the cause, either. This junk has been this way since way before that. These are the remains from some sort of battle.” “Hey, Rose, don’t believe a word of what she’s saying. She’s always making baseless statements of one kind or another.” As I ignore Lilith’s murderous gaze, Rose lets out a soft chuckle. Despite her claims to the contrary, no doubt Lilith feels a bit guilty, which explains why she’s still tagging along, complaining under her breath, even though she was petrified earlier. “Lady Lilith, honestly, you do remind me of my grandpa,” says Rose affectionately. Unused to the syrupy sensation this elicits, Lilith turns away to avoid Rose’s eyes. We eventually arrive at a giant door deep inside the ruins. Still wary of the groaning and rumbling from within, we open it and find a glass case that I swear I’ve seen somewhere before. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the one we found in the neighboring kingdom of Toris. The same one Russell had been sealed in… “Look at this, Six! This device is used to gestate dangerous organics inside this glass tube! Specifically, stuff like pretty-boy homunculi or maybe someone’s clone! Let’s have Alice analyze it and make a second and third Astaroth and Belial! We can have a bunch of sweet, freshly born Astaroths pamper and take care of us.” Lilith responds much like I did when I first saw one of these. “Um, I don’t mean to interrupt, Lady Lilith, but…this is probably where I slept…” Rose apologizes while Lilith continues gushing over the device. “Of course, I knew that. This is what you’d call a ‘scientist joke’… Six, what are you looking at, exactly? If you have something you want to say, I’ll listen to it later. Just…leave me alone for now.” As I watch her with a smirk, Lilith blushes and begins her survey. The two of us walk in silence for a bit. “Lady Lilith, do you have something to say?” “Six, look at him. No doubt he’s spent ages guarding this place. To stand here, obeying his creator’s orders even as his body falls apart… A certain rebellious android could stand to learn a thing or two from him.” Sprawled out in front of us is a human-shaped robot, the source of that eerie rumbling, though its arms and legs have been destroyed. I’d peg it at about three meters tall. I don’t know what it’s made of, but even I can tell lead bullets wouldn’t do much. “Is this the thing you were afraid of, Lady Lilith?” “Sh-shut up! You refused to explore deeper, too.” Rose returns to us after wandering around the room. “This is Mr. Tomekichi, the gardener robot.” ““Mr. Tomekichi.”” As her words completely wreck the dystopian mood in the room, Lilith and I can’t help but repeat them. “I don’t know what a gardener robot is, but this golem is Mr. Tomekichi. His name popped into my head for some reason.” “…Lady Lilith, what should we do with Mr. Tomekichi? Should we take him back to the hideout and repair him?” “No, no. Even I can’t repair a Mr. Tomekichi I’ve just seen for the first time. I may be a scientific genius, but I don’t know how an alien robot is constructed.” As though hearing our whispered conversation, Rose shakes her head gently. “Actually, since there’s no more garden to tend, Mr. Tomekichi would like to retire. He isn’t able to reach the switch on his back without his arms, so he’d appreciate it if you could do it for him.” “Huh…you can understand him…?” Rose and Lilith circle around to Mr. Tomekichi’s giant back to press the deactivation button. While they do the honors, I decide to take a look around the ruins to see if there isn’t something of value left lying around… A map on the wall catches my eye. Approaching and touching it, I notice it’s not made of paper but some sort of petrochemical plastic. “Six, what are you looking at? We’ve finished granting Mr. Tomekichi’s retirement request.” Turning toward Lilith, I see Rose with her hands together, offering a little prayer for the now-immobile Mr. Tomekichi. She’s a good kid, but I wish she’d taken off the entire fursuit and not just the head. …Anyway, the gardener robot (Mr. Tomekichi), these mysterious ruins, and an ancient super-culture… “Lady Lilith, can I just quit thinking?” “It’s not like I ever had any expectations for you in that area anyway. Leave this sort of thing to Alice and me…but never mind that. This map…” Looking refreshed, Rose joins us in studying the map. “Boss, let’s head back to the hideout. It’s just a hunch, but I feel like there’s nothing left here. I have no idea why I know this, but…” It seems like Rose is remembering bits and pieces, but I guess she still can’t sort out the important details. “Oh, this map…” Rose suddenly points at the item that’s captured our attention. “This! This seems to be the place where they found me. I’m not sure how I know this, but these are the ruins I was found in, and this is one of our summer homes.” These ruins appear to be stirring up all sorts of memories. What do you mean, “summer home”? Aren’t you a Chimera? Or maybe she was a pretty well-off noble in the Chimera Kingdom? “…Lady Lilith, you’re smart, right? You get along with her pretty well. Can I leave figuring out her identity to you? There’s just way too much Rose backstory, and I can feel my mind slipping away.” “You lost your mind a long time ago. And you’re really going to push another thing on me, even though I don’t know her nearly as well…?” Rose begins tagging the map with the marker we’d been using for tic-tac-toe. “So to recap: She was born here, and she was asleep in the summer home. When she woke up, someone had reduced this place—her home—to ruins. Meanwhile, Rose herself is suffering from amnesia…” “…Aren’t you the one who wrecked this place, Lady Lilith?” “My depth charge wouldn’t do this much damage! I-it’s true! Besides, there wasn’t much left of it anyway! I swear! Quit looking at me like that!” I suppose it’s enough of a discovery to learn that this wreckage-strewn ruin is where Rose was born and raised. Just then, Rose interrupts our conversation. “I remember there being a lot more machines in here… There should have been a Mr. Kikuzo, the giant-lizard gate guard… How did anyone get in before Lady Lilith stopped Mr. Kikuzo? And who were they?” This new detail is another blow to Lilith’s heart. “Well, what are you planning to do, Lady Lilith? Not only did you wreck this amnesiac little Chimera’s home, but that lizard you killed? That was Mr. Kikuzo.” “Wh-why don’t we try phrasing it this way? Mr. Kikuzo’s mission was to guard this place until Rose returned. He was defeated in the line of duty…… Once we get back to the hideout, I’ll treat you to a ton of Japanese junk food! Can you find it in your heart to forgive me, Rose?” “I don’t know what Japanese junk food is, but that sounds good to me!” Although she doesn’t know what it is, Rose pieces together that Lilith is talking about food, so she eagerly agrees. I feel a bit bad for Mr. Kikuzo being worth less than junk food, but from Rose’s perspective, Lilith’s right in that he actually did complete his mission. She thanks Lilith for retiring him like she did with Mr. Tomekichi. Subjected to her thanks, my loner, shut-in boss, who’s only accustomed to being reviled, shuffles her feet in discomfort… 8 The next morning. Alice greets us as we return to the hideout after spending the previous evening in the ruins. “You delinquents are finally home, huh? The ruins were only a short trip away. Why the hell did the survey take so long that you’re just getting home?” Alice lets loose with the venom as soon as she opens her mouth, but after a closer look at us, she tilts her head quizzically. The focus of her gaze is an oddly satisfied-looking Rose as well as Lilith, who’s sporting the opposite expression. “Yo, Six, Rose looks like the few brain cells she had left trickled out of her head overnight, while Lady Lilith looks even gloomier than usual. What exactly happened out there?” I recount the whole story from the beginning… “Well, that sure sounds like a pain in the ass. So Rose got some of her memories back, and she marked five spots on the map. One of them is the ruin where they found her. Another is the one you explored yesterday, and yet another is the one we recently dealt with in Toris. As for the rest…this one’s where the Demon Lord’s got his headquarters, right smack where his castle is.” Alice pores over the map we brought back. “…Huh, seriously? So the Demon Lord took over one of her summer homes or bases? Considering her daily pronouncements that humanity is the enemy, could she be…?” “Ohhh! Wait, Boss, you’ve got the wrong idea there! I’m not a demon! I mean, yes, Mr. Russell, who’s also a Chimera, decided to side with the Demon Lord, but for us, there actually isn’t a fine distinction between demons and humans…” As Rose anxiously provides an explanation, Alice gives her a look of pity. “Don’t worry about it. No one’s going to suspect someone as simple as you of being a spy. If anything, the fact that your summer home was ransacked means it’s probably more accurate to say that our competitor, the Demon Lord, is occupying one of your properties.” Rose lets out a sigh of relief at Alice’s calm summary of the situation. “Putting that aside for a moment, are you done being Patrasche?” Hearing Alice’s question, a smile lights Rose’s satisfied expression. “Well, it’s like, now that I know so much about myself, the whole life of gluttony and sloth under a new grandpa feels wrong to me… Also, I want to pay back Boss and the others for helping me find out about my past… I figured I could do that by working for Kisaragi…” Rose chuckles shyly, scratching at the back of her head, but I’m pretty sure the whole “gluttony and sloth” part was wrong even before the remembering-the-past bit. …As Rose laughs uncomfortably, Alice approaches her. “Looks like you’ve gotten over a lot that was troubling you. Welcome to the Kisaragi Corporation. We’re an evil organization, so we don’t think twice about ruthless acts of villainy, nor do we forgive betrayal. We crush our enemies and don’t give a damn about justice. However…” Lately, this android, who’s supposed to be the product of cold pragmatism, is starting to show a lot more emotion. “…at Kisaragi, we value our comrades. If the Demon Lord has taken up residence in your home, we’ll get it back for you, no matter how long it takes.” She’s made a flat-out declaration, even as our available forces are about to dwindle, what with Lilith and myself eventually returning to Earth. “…Whoa, whoa, Miss Alice. You need to remember I’m heading back to Earth. The forces at your disposal are gonna take a serious hit. C’mon, say it. Go ahead and say it. It’ll be so much easier if you have Mr. Six at your side.” “That’s true. If we had Six, we could take over the Demon Lord’s Castle in three years. Without you, it’ll take us three years.” Huh, she’s being awfully honest… “…Hold on, you just gave the same amount of time. If you have me, you could probably do it in about a year, don’t you think?” “Eh, your presence only moves up the timeline by about three days. So you can relax, leave Rose to me, and head home. Earth is where you’re needed right now.” Rose smiles in amusement at the exchange between Alice and me. Lilith, who’s been sitting quietly, finally speaks up. “…I must admire your tenacity, Miss Chimera. In comparison, I don’t have a single positive to speak of.” Lilith looks as though she’s put her past failures behind her. “I’ve read all about you in the reports. You’ve been waiting this whole time, patiently helping out the kingdom with information about your past as a lure, right? And now that you’ve finally got a hint, are you planning to wait another three years?” Lilith’s words seem to have caught Rose off guard. “As of today, you’re officially a member of our family. As Alice noted earlier, the Kisaragi Corporation is an outstanding company that cares for its employees.” The bit about being a company that cares for its employees is news to me, but it seems our ordinarily useless boss has evolved (for the moment) into one of Kisaragi’s rightful Supreme Leaders. “Very well, Combat Agent Recruit Rose. Welcome to the Kisaragi Corporation! Allow me to welcome you on behalf of the Supreme Leaders. And…” Like Alice, Lilith appears to be in a better mood than usual, smiling happily at Rose. “You’ve got somewhere you want to go, right? You have something you want to learn, right? No need to be modest. Nothing is impossible for the Kisaragi Corporation!” Having seemingly put the past in the past, after peppering Rose with a series of questions, Lilith approaches her with arms outstretched. Having spent a long time being treated like an unwanted outsider in this kingdom, Rose probably isn’t used to this sort of treatment. With no family other than her grandpa, she probably didn’t have anyone she could turn to. She’s likely never had anyone celebrate her birthday before. If that weren’t the case, she wouldn’t so overwhelmed. Tearing up, Rose comes to a decision, her cheeks faintly flushed. “L-Lady Lilith… U-um, that is, my wish is to go visit the Demon Lord. I want to ask him why he’s living in one of the ruins. And I want to ask what he knows about me!” Hearing that, Lilith’s face lights up in a wide grin. “Very well. A talk with the Demon Lord, mm? Talking is one of my specialties!”
Chapter 50
45 min read