Chapter 100

FINAL CHAPTER Being the Boss They Can Depend On… 1 In the woods near Grunade. Having finishing putting up the tent, I sit down by the campfire and say to Alice: “I’ve suspected it for a while, but I’m pretty sure Tiger Man is an idiot.” “You think the people in Kisaragi are anything but morons? I don’t count, I’m an android.” Then I don’t count because I’m an enhanced human. Besides, it’s going too far to say everyone’s an idiot. There’s still our last hope, Astaroth… “Lady Astaroth’s the queen of the idiots, considering she’s the one who came up with the idea of forming an evil organization to take over the world. As for the second-biggest idiot, I nominate Lady Lilith.” “Stop it, don’t anticipate what I’m trying to say. I’m pretty sure our Lady Lilith is number one by a pretty big margin.” As Alice and I banter… “This isn’t the time for this! How are we going to fix the gigantic mess we’re in now?!” The candidate no one was expecting to win, Princess Nadia, the youngest of the three princelings, has ended up with the crown. As for how it ended up this way, well, it’s because all of our misdeeds were revealed to the public. Namely, the fact that Tiger Man, the monster guilty of stealing the sorcery stone, is affiliated with us. Tiger Man himself revealed that we were behind everything, from trying to frame Hiiragi for the theft by having the letter sent to Grunade, to the various underhanded tactics we used to ruin our opponent’s reputations in the election. As for why he did that— “Honestly, I underestimated Tiger Man. I figured he was just a pervert who liked to meow and purr while admiring the lolis. I had no idea he’d be willing to risk everything, even his own life, for the sake of saving a little girl.” “That miscalculation is on me. I didn’t expect Tiger Man to go that far. While gigantification is the ace in the hole for mutants to use to take superheroes with them when all else fails, it’s a last resort that costs the mutant years of lifespan. And not only did Tiger Man do that, he then went and turned himself in to make the princess win the crown. Honestly, I underestimated him. Tiger Man’s the lolicon’s lolicon. A real credit to his kind.” To make Nadia queen, Tiger Man used the mutant’s trump card of gigantification to take a sorcery stone from a greater dragon living in the Midgard Mountains. He then gave Nadia the sorcery stone before turning himself in to the authorities, revealing that he was part of our organization. Thanks to his bombshell revelation, Lydia, who had pulled us into the election, lost almost all of her support, while the prince just couldn’t stage enough of a comeback to boost his flagging poll numbers, and so… “I didn’t expect Russell to throw his support behind Princess Nadia, either. That pretty much settled the race.” Russell is protecting Nadia from any threats at the moment. He must have been influenced by Tiger Man’s dedication. Russell had enthusiastically campaigned for Nadia. The image of a beautiful young maid helping the young princess was a hit with the populace. What sealed the deal was when Adelie, one of the prince’s supporters, publicly outed Russell as a boy. For some reason, that resulted in a massive surge of support from female voters and ended up settling the race in Nadia’s favor. This was despite the fact that Russell’s technically part of Kisaragi, too… “Well, it’s a star-studded cast, a young child princess with a cross-dressing handsome boy maid. To the people, the monarch is as much decoration as anything else. They want someone that looks good. After all, most of their lives won’t change much no matter who’s in charge.” “I-I’d like to think things are a little better in Grace. I mean, people say a lot of things about Princess Tillis, but she’s popular with her citizens…” At Alice’s cynical, world-weary observation, Rose can only mumble a less than confident defense. “Still, what the hell are Tiger Man and Russell thinking? Even with Princess Nadia making a case for him, it’s only a matter of time before he’s executed. Yes, he turned himself in, but what he did isn’t easily forgiven or forgotten.” “I mean, Tiger Man’s earned his fate, but with Snow and Heine still in jail, we can’t just leave…” “Come on, Boss, let’s at least try to help Tiger Man, too…” The situation is so bad that even Alice seems at a loss for what to do. That, and there’s a reason we’re camping out here. Rose detects something and turns her eyes toward the brush. There’s some rustling from the other side, and appearing from between the bushes… “Caught some wild Evil Points! Hey, Six, hurry and convert them to points! There’s quite a few others lurking around, but I brought all the ones I could carry.” “Can we stop calling prisoners ‘points,’ please? Even I’m a little weirded out by that.” I don’t know which faction they belong to, but Belial returns to camp carrying four of our pursuers. Usually, being chased by an entire country should be a pretty perilous situation, but to Belial, it’s just an opportunity to farm some Evil Points by capturing soldiers from both factions. As for converting them to points… How am I supposed to do that? Torture these soldiers wrapped in steel wire? Alice suddenly bows her head to Belial. “Lady Belial, I’m sorry for bringing you all the way from Earth only to end up in this mess. The way all of this has played out is my fault.” “M-Miss Alice?” Rose can’t help but be taken aback at Alice’s unusually meek and apologetic attitude. “I didn’t expect things to go this thoroughly pear-shaped. I should take responsibility and go self-destruct in the middle of Grunade.” “Hey, don’t even think about it! I told you that self-destructing is out of limits!” I grab Alice by the collar to stop her, prompting a small chuckle from Belial. “Alice, you overthink things because you’re so smart. Just take a simpler look at things.” Belial smiles as she gently musses Alice’s hair. Alice looks up at Belial through the mussing. It’s pretty clear Belial doesn’t have a good grasp of the situation. “…You say that, Lady Belial, but the situation is thoroughly fubar. I have no idea what Tiger Man and Russell are thinking, while I’m sure Snow and Heine, who were in jail, have been taken hostage. The prince and princess are sure to put their differences aside for now. Thanks to Tiger Man’s betrayal, Kisaragi has to deal with the Hiiragi Agency of Order and Grunade, while they’ve got hostages to use as bargaining…” Belial holds up a hand to stop Alice mid-sentence. She then nods as though she understands everything perfectly. “So what? We just need to beam them all down at once.” …… “Hey, Six, help me with persuading Lady Belial. This Gordian knot of a situation is going to take a while to explain.” I look between the confidently smiling Belial and Alice with her troubled expression and come to a realization. “Lady Belial’s right. We’ve been worrying too much about the little kinks in the rope.” “…Six?” Alice evidently thought I would try to stop Belial and looks up at me with a quizzical expression. “As Lady Belial says, we’re overthinking this. Why did we even try to hide Tiger Man’s crimes? It’s because it was too early to go to war with this country. Why were we trying to avoid fighting the Hiiragi Agency of Order? Because it was too early to have a proper scrap with them.” At that, Alice falls silent, lapsing into thought as Belial continues to tussle her hair. “…You mean with Lady Belial here, we can deal with the two countries combined on equal footing? …True. What does it matter if Tiger Man confessed to being a member of Kisaragi? So what if they know we were behind all the election shenanigans? We’re an evil corporation! We don’t bother untying knots; we just cut through them! If they wanna complain, we’ll just face them straight on!” “Yep, all we have to do is go on the diplomatic offensive with Lady Belial as our backup. The agents we sent out got those cities where Lady Belial went on a rampage to submit by threatening them, right? Then, it’s time for some gunboat diplomacy! That’s what you were trying to say, right, Lady Belial?” There’s a reason she’s a Supreme Leader; she can take this tangled mess of a situation and…! “Nope! Wrong!” I can’t contain a surge of irritation as Belial laughs in response to my question. “You’re still overthinking it. Kisaragi is an evil corporation bent on world domination. And there’s only one thing we do against our enemies.” As we stay silent, Belial playfully smiles and declares: “Invade!” 2 Just as people are rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and waking up all around the city of Grunade, a giant explosion echoes through the air. They jump out of their houses and begin raising a fuss as they look around in a panic. “W-what is it?! Are dragons attacking?!” “This city is protected by the Midgard Mountains. There’s no way dragons would attack!” “But there was evidently an explosion in front of the inn the other day.” “I heard that it was a red-haired woman using magic…” The residents speculate among themselves, only to freeze when they hear the follow-up announcement. “Good morning, people of Grunade! We are the Kisaragi Corporation! We have a message for the Grunade Royal Family! Come to the clock tower in the next five seconds! If you don’t comply, we will burn down a building for every second you don’t show!” “What are you doing?! They can’t possibly make it within five seconds!” I grab the loudspeaker from Belial to keep her from making any more ridiculous demands. We’re standing at the very top of the clock tower in the middle of the city. Having infiltrated town, we’re now making unreasonable demands to the Grunade Royal Family. “Oh, calm down. This is a negotiating tactic Lilith taught me. You put up unreasonable demands first, then you put out the demands you actually want, which will seem more reasonable in contrast.” “I see. You’ve put some thought behind it. I’m sorry to doubt you.” I’ve heard that when doing business, it’s a pretty common tactic to start with a sky-high price and make the buyer think you’re giving them a deal by giving them the price you actually want later on. Belial then takes the loudspeaker back and makes her next announcement. “All right, five seconds was a bit unreasonable! We’ll give you a small concession! You have ten seconds to—” I snatch the loudspeaker from Belial again, when there’s a commotion at the bottom of the clock tower. Alice and I peer downward. “Lady Belial, one of the royals showed up. They did it within the ten seconds you asked for.” “See? Unlike Lilith, my demands are reasonable.” I’m pretty sure there are times when she’s more demanding than Lilith, but I decide it’s best to keep my silence. Lydia’s standing there with a large group of soldiers at the base of the tower. I guess she was planning to lead them in an effort to find us this morning. “Hey, Six. There’s a woman with resting bitch face glaring at me…” “That’s Princess Lydia, the elder daughter of the king and the oldest of the royals. I think her glaring at you is understandable. You did just wake up her country at this unreasonable hour and start threatening them.” Of course, she threatened to spread bad reviews about us, so I think we’re kind of even on that front. Belial nods, processing my words before taking the loudspeaker from me, then shouts down to the base of the tower. “So you’re that stupid bitch Lydia! I’m going to smack you, so come up here! If not, I’ll reduce your city to a burnt-out wasteland!” “Y-you disrespectful commoner! You show up out of nowhere and start this nonsense?! Who do you think you’re talking to, you self-important peasant…” I give Rose the signal even as Lydia begins to bicker with Belial. “Ahm… Just to double-check, are you sure you want to do this, Boss? I feel like we’ll be crossing a point of no return if we do this…” “We’ve already blown way past that line. Besides, remember what Lady Belial said? They’re wild Evil Points waiting to be harvested!” Rose drags the four prisoners we captured in the woods to the top of the tower. “My family has a long, distinguished history! Certainly more than some princess from a backwater nation like this! Keep talking, and I’ll actually give you something to whine about!” “How dare you insult our country?! You’ll pay for that! You lot! Break down the clock tower door!” We ignore the rapidly escalating argument between the two women and force the tied-up prisoners to walk to the windows. Lydia, who has been wailing insults at Belial, freezes when she sees the faces of the prisoners. “Do they look familiar to you? If they do, we’ll trade them for the prisoners you’ve got. If they don’t, they’re useless to us, so we’ll just throw them away!” <Evil Points Acquired> “She’s a true Supreme Leader, all right. She’s a damned sight more impressive than Lady Lilith.” “Hey, Alice. I’m getting Evil Points just following orders. Are you sure we should’ve left the planning to Lady Belial?” Lydia’s gone deathly pale, speechless at the sight of the prisoners. She hurriedly raises her hands to plead her case to us. “Y-you wouldn’t really do that in the middle of the city, would you? Let’s negotiate. Yes, two of them are my followers, but—” Before Lydia can finish, Belial grabs one of the prisoners by the scruff of the neck and dangles him over the side. “The only thing I wanted to know is if they looked familiar to you! I’m giving you thirty minutes. Hurry up and bring out our underlings!” <Evil Points Acquired> “I-I accept! We’ll do a prisoner exchange, so stop dangling him over the side!” Lydia hurriedly issues orders to her soldiers. She might have a bit of a scheming side, but she’s a sheltered princess in the end. “That princess has a lot to learn. I’m sure part of it is the fact that the people are watching, but she’s started negotiating with terrorists. If it were Tillis, she’d probably manage to produce a tear or two before insisting sadly that royals won’t negotiate with terrorists and leave them to their fate.” “H-Her Highness probably isn’t that ruthless! Maybe!” “If you really believe that, at least avoid saying ‘probably.’” Lydia then glares up at us after sending one of her soldiers off to the castle. “There, are you satisfied? If that’s good enough, then release your prisoners… Also, allow me to point out that of those four, only two of them are my followers. The one you’re dangling isn’t one of them. But as a princess of this kingdom…” “Then I guess we don’t need him.” <Evil Points Acquired> “Nooooo!” Belial lets go of the prisoner before Lydia can finish her statement. The bound and gagged captive falls with tears streaming from their eyes. As Lydia screams, Belial tosses the loudspeaker aside and grabs my knife from my hip. She leans out the window and winds up— “Noooooo…ooh… Oh?!…” She throws the knife with laser-like accuracy, not even leaving a scratch on the prisoner as it pins them by the collar to the stone face of the clock tower. The prisoner is pinned to the wall of the tower right before hitting the ground, and they pass out while foaming at the mouth from terror. Lydia’s legs give out from under her as she slumps to the ground. The soldiers continue to exude hostility toward us, but they look taken aback and faintly cowed by Belial’s display of godlike skill. She casually picks up the loudspeaker. “Which ones are your followers? I’ll release the other captive who isn’t your underling!” “Just release them normally! Don’t drop them! They might not be my follower, but they’re still one of my precious subjects! Also, please let me finish!” 3 The prisoner exchange ends up being arranged to occur outside the city. Having been thoroughly thrown for a loop by Belial, I guess Lydia wanted to avoid any further negotiations inside the city. The spot they specified is a barren piece of terrain with a cliff at the back. It’s a nice, empty piece of land, and unless someone bothers to scale the cliff, there’s no chance of being ambushed. “Things are going smoothly thanks to Lady Belial. We should be able to recover Miss Snow and Miss Heine without any trouble,” Rose says with a note of admiration as she leads the prisoners by a length of wire. Belial’s actions earlier are probably what you’d consider the very model of a Kisaragi employee, but… “You know, you’re starting to be more accepting of outright villainy lately. What happened to the pure and conscientious Rose that I first met? At least try to avoid ending up like one of the Kisaragi Supreme Leaders, okay?” Belial, who has been cheerful thanks to Rose’s praise, pouts in response. “You’re the ones who asked me to negotiate. I was just doing what you asked. I was fine with just forcing our way into the castle.” “I’m pretty sure you and Lady Lilith are the only ones who’d call that negotiating.” “Boss, your negotiations aren’t that different. I mean, do you remember how you tried talking it out with Tiger Man the other day?” Just as we’re placidly waiting outside the city, Lydia appears at the meeting spot with a large contingent of soldiers in tow, her expression clearly communicating her displeasure. The soldier at the very back of the group leads Heine, who looks relieved, and Snow, who’s making no effort to conceal her irritation, by a rope. Lydia clears her throat to begin the prisoner exchange when— “Alice—!” —Snow suddenly shouts, silencing everyone there. Having built up a friendship with Heine, it seem Snow has remembered what it means to be a knight. I’m sure she’s going to tell us not to worry about her. “I’ve kept my silence until the very end! And I tried to resist them from taking me out of jail! Don’t forget that you promised to reward me for as long as I stayed silent!” “…Yep. Good job. I’m proud of you. I’ll add a little extra to your payment.” Alice smiles softly after momentarily freezing at Snow’s obsessive fixation on payment, even under these circumstances. …You know, she’s still one of my subordinates. “Hey, Six, I mentioned this before, but you really should pick your subordinates better.” “I don’t think you’re one to talk, being the Supreme Leader of a group of nothing but eccentrics and misfits like Kisaragi.” Lydia gapes at the exchange, before she begins to tremble. “H-how strong is your need to insult me…?! Do you understand the situation? I’ve heard the rumors of how powerful Kisaragi’s mercenaries are; that’s why I hired you in the first place.” As Lydia’s anger builds, I remove the shackles from our prisoners’ legs, and when I lightly push them in the back, they run off without bothering to look back at me. At the same time, Snow and Heine have their restraints removed, and they start to make their way through the soldiers in our direction. “But the real reason I hired you is because our countries’ soldiers lack experience fighting monsters… Grunade is a holy country where the protection of the Midgard Mountains keeps all monsters but dragons from its lands. We’re not used to fighting monsters, but we’ve got plenty of skill when it comes to fighting people! Now that we have our hostages back…” “Hey.” Belial interrupts Lydia’s threatening remarks with a single word. “Now that we have our hostages, there’s no need to hold back. You better be ready for what’s coming.” “That’s my line! …For the love of the gods, let me finish!” The moment Lydia angrily shouts out the words, the ground under the soldiers behind her erupts upward like an exploding volcano. The surrounding land bursts upward and the soldiers, thrown high into the air, scream, before raining down to the ground with a hail of pebbles. Since they’re normal humans, Belial must have held back quite a bit. I don’t think any of them have mortal wounds, but it still looks like a scene from hell with the shattered ground, the soldiers lying in their heaps, and Snow and Heine getting caught in the explosion. As the groans of soldiers spill into the air, Lydia, who ducked and covered her ears at the explosion, tentatively turns to look. “Ahhhhhh! M-m-my followers… My soldiers!” <Evil Points Acquired> It was a small explosion by Belial’s standards, not even requiring her to make any gestures before unleashing it. Lydia wails at the sheer, brutal violence that neutralizes her soldiers in a single breath. I wish they wouldn’t give me Evil Points for this. I mean, I’m only here as one of Belial’s accomplices; these points make it seem like I’m one of the main villains.