Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1 Spies Will Be Dispatched! 1 The Kisaragi Corporation. A global corporation known to every man, woman, and child on Earth. And I’m sitting here in a conference room in the very heart of its company headquarters. “—That about covers the basics. I trust you have no questions, Agent Six?” “Got it, Agent Six?” “I think I misheard you. Would you mind going over that again?” The faces in front of me sigh, presumably in exasperation at how thickheaded I’m proving to be. “…Very well. Agent Six, your assignment will be to infiltrate the target as an advance scout for the Kisaragi Corporation. Your mission will be to survey the local fauna. If you encounter any aboriginal inhabitants, you are to gather intelligence on their military capabilities. Your overall objective will be to assess whether the target has the resources and territory with sufficient strategic value to justify an invasion.” “…I see.” The mission makes perfect sense. It’s something I’ve done countless times before. “Your target will be an alien world. You got that?” “Yeah, you got that?” “…No, I can’t say I do,” I immediately reply, and the expressions of the pair in front of me sour in puzzlement. The first is Astaroth the Ice Queen. A slender woman with hip-length black hair that shimmers like obsidian. She possesses an ethereal, otherworldly beauty that inspires fear more than anything else. The other is Belial the Great Flame. A flame-haired bombshell, she dresses in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination. The Ice Queen and the Great Flame both have a preference for skimpy clothing and share a hobby of using their unique titles in daily conversation. Astaroth the Ice Queen lets out another sigh, preparing to describe my assignment for the third time in as many minutes. “…Just what is it that you fail to grasp here, Agent Six? There’s nothing about this mission that should cause you any confusion. All I’m telling you to do is to infiltrate the target as a spy.” I notice Belial the Great Flame nodding along in agreement. “I understand the mission. But you keep losing me at the ‘alien world’ part. Look, I’ve learned to play along with your cosplay outfits and corny titles…but I’ve gotta admit…a pair of grown women going on about alien worlds is a bit much, even for me.” “H-how…how dare you call our uniforms cosplay outfits?!” “Tacky…?! Agent Six, is that how you’ve thought of us all this time?!” The pair in front of me flush and become noticeably more animated. “Well, I mean…it’s not exactly rare for the two of you to make statements that are a bit…out there. But you’re breaking new ground today. Have you been watching too much of those isekai anime about people being reincarnated in other worlds?” “Silence! That is enough of your impudence. You are aware that we, the Kisaragi Corporation, are nearing our goal of world domination, correct?” “Well, yes, of course.” I try not to notice the bulging vein on Astaroth’s forehead as she patiently resumes her explanation. World domination. For the Kisaragi Corporation, this doesn’t refer to dominating a particular industry or market. It’s literal, and Kisaragi happily describes itself as an evil secret society on the “about us” page. The corporation’s primary business is the planning and execution of evil schemes. As for me, well, I started working here as a Combat Agent while in high school. Soon after they hired me, they cut me open and installed some weird body enhancements, making me a glorified errand boy—a role I’ve been stuck in ever since. Ordinarily, you expect a corporation to retain plausible deniability about aiming for world domination, but we became so big that we stopped trying to keep it a secret a long time ago. We’re now a multinational criminal organization, focusing on mayhem, death, destruction, and plunder. There isn’t a military force on the planet powerful enough to oppose us, and I’ve been told that the handful of countries holding out hope with economic sanctions were on their last legs. “Very well. Now, what do you imagine will happen to you operatives when we finish conquering the world?” I don’t understand what Astaroth is asking, and I tilt my head. “…? We, of course, become the new rulers of the world and indulge in a life of decadence and debauchery, right?” “No, you fool. We’re looking at a massive restructuring of the organization.” ““…Say what?”” Belial and I respond with one voice to Astaroth’s response. “…Restructuring? Is that your way of saying you’re gonna start firing people?” “That’s right.” The conference room goes deathly quiet. “…Wait, wait, what? You can’t just… After all that I’ve done for you! You coldhearted bitch! First, you make me do all your dirty work, and now you’re just gonna toss me aside?! I’m basically unemployable and undatable given all the modifications you’ve made to my body. You owe me. So let me move in with you! Please! I promise I’ll make a good house husband!” “Hey, am I on the chopping block, too?! Is my position as the Supreme Leader in charge of military operations going to get eliminated?!” Both Belial and I cling to Astaroth, but true to her title, the Ice Queen doesn’t so much as flinch… “Calm down, both of you… H-hey! Agent Six! I’ll explain the plan! Just don’t grab my top! It’s slipping! Stop, stop, stop! My outfit’s too skimpy to be pulled like that!” …Astaroth pulls away from us, panting in panic, wrapping her arms protectively around her top to hold it in place. She scrambles away with teary eyes to secure some personal space. “I can’t believe you two. Listen! First, Belial, you’re one of the Supreme Leaders in this corporation. Your job is safe. We will still need a military after we finish our conquest. As for you, Agent Six…” Belial lets out a sigh of relief, but I, the lackey, find nothing reassuring about Astaroth’s answer. As if reading my mind, Astaroth shifts her gaze to me. “Unlike Belial, you’re just one soldier in our great army. With that said, you have been with us since the very beginning. Whatever your title, we consider you one of our own and think of you as part of our leadership.” “…Does that mean I can get a raise? I’ve been working here since I was in high school, but my pay hasn’t changed since I was a temp.” “However! If we provide special treatment only to you and ignore the other operatives, we risk alienating the rank-and-file members and having the corporation fall to pieces.” Astaroth makes no indication that she heard anything about my pay as she continues her spiel. “…Then how will you decide who stays and who gets canned? If you say, ‘By drawing lots,’ I’m gonna give you a taste of the modifications you’ve made to me.” “F-fool, that’s why we’re talking about your new assignment!” Apparently recognizing that my patience was wearing thin, Astaroth backs up into a defensive crouch. “Basically, Agent Six, the idea is that once we conquer Earth, we look for another planet to attack. The layoffs were new, but we’ve been discussing our next target for a while now. We have to govern what we’ve conquered, and without a war on, there’s no money to spend on an excessive military,” Belial adds from next to Astaroth. “So that’s why you’re going on about alien worlds? But we don’t have the technology to get there. If we had that kinda tech, I’d have fled to the planet of big-breasted beauties by now. We’d have to start by getting people to Mars or Venus,” I say to them with a pitying glance. “…We should continue this discussion in Lilith’s room. Come with us, Agent Six.” Astaroth, with her icy visage back in place, turns on her heel and leaves the room. The most I can do is tilt my head in confusion and follow. The third of Kisaragi’s three Supreme Leaders is Lilith the Black. Her lair at Kisaragi headquarters, a research laboratory, is always filled with machinery with no clear purpose. Yet, today my eye catches a new object in the center of the room. “Agent Six, do you know what this is?” Astaroth asks, waving her palm toward a jumble of large technological equipment attached to a great glass pod. “It…looks like a teleporter straight out of a sci-fi movie.” As soon as the observation leaves my mouth, I hear the lab owner call out in reply, “A keen observation, Agent Six! You’re certainly sharp for a meathead!” The harsh appraiser of my intellect is a beautiful young woman with dark hair in a bowl cut and dressed in a white lab coat as she triumphantly struts around the object. Lilith the Black, the Kisaragi Corporation’s resident mad scientist and the one who applied the various modifications to my body. “Wait, you’re serious…? You’ve actually achieved teleportation? With a pile of junk like this?” “Junk, you say? How rude! This is the answer to humanity’s prayers. A magnificent device that will solve every problem plaguing our world today. One of my greatest inventions if I do say so myself!” The ordinarily taciturn and antisocial Lilith is in a fine mood. Even Astaroth’s poker face cracks a little, thin frown lines creasing her brow. “A lab coat again, Lilith? You are one of the leaders of this organization. You should wear the proper uniform every once in a while.” “You’re kidding, right? Why would I want to expose myself like that? I’ll go ahead and say it—Astaroth, you and Belial look like you’re auditioning for a cosplay porno.”