I slept like a log. No, I didn’t. I didn’t sleep. That’s right—I was so excited that I couldn’t fall asleep. Since I hadn’t slept that much, I wasn’t feeling too well. My mind felt foggy in the same way it did when I’d slept too much.
All right. It was the day of our date, and I was properly sleep-deprived. We were meeting up before noon, so I had plenty of time. If I recall correctly, the itinerary carved out a lot of time to get ready before we meet up. I’ll take my time and complete each mission.
I first checked the section regarding clothes on Eleanora’s notes.
“After agonizing over two outfits, end up deciding on a third that you thought of at the last second.” There’s a bug that’s keeping me from going any farther! I was deciding between my usual dress or something else. The options are “usual” or “something else,” so what would be a third option...? Something that’s not A, but that’s not not A. What would fulfill these two requirements?
I’d never expected Eleanora’s itinerary to touch on the concept of imaginary numbers. Just as normal people couldn’t imagine what a negative square root would be, I couldn’t be sure the outfit I was supposed to wear existed.
Aside from that issue, this itinerary itself was strange. The line that started with, “After agonizing over two outfits,” was crossed out. The items that followed—“For your hairstyle...” and “For your makeup...”—were both crossed out as well.
At the bottom of the list of countless crossed out items, there was one line that hadn’t been crossed out. That line item stood out quite a bit.
“You probably won’t do any of this, so I’ll do it!”
“So that’s the case! I will take care of it all,” Eleanora said, appearing with much too perfect timing. It seemed that not only had she left notes for me, but she was going to directly interfere with the date as well. She’d appeared with Rita, my maid, and was overflowing with several thousand times more vigor than she usually had.
“Where are your clothes, Yumiella?”
“I was deciding between my usual dress or something else.”
“I knew it! That’s unacceptable! Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything!”
No way. I spent a whole week doing my best to make a decision... Calling that “unacceptable” is cruel.
Hello, world. I am Yumiella Dolkness. I am a dress-up doll. Two girls, Eleanora and Rita, are having their way with me, messing with my clothes, my hair, and my face.
“How much longer will this take?” I asked.
“We’re almost done,” Eleanora answered.
“That’s what you said the last time I asked.”
“That’s because you asked me just a minute ago.”
We’d had this conversation roughly sixty times, so at the very least an hour had to have passed. I had been asking how much longer it would be every minute, just so I wouldn’t lose my sense of time. It was the same as how the Japanese navy ate curry every Friday. I maintained my sanity by asking a question every minute.
“How much long—”
“If you ask that question one more time, I won’t like you anymore.”
What?! I can’t have that happening. If Eleanora, who always repeats how much she loves me, says she hates me, I’ll be so shocked that my heart will stop. My liver will turn rock hard, and my lungs will turn dark black. The damage to my organs will be on a whole nother level.
I’d heard rumors about how space suits took hours to wear. I’d never been asked to handle extravehicular activities during space exploration, so I wasn’t sure if there was any truth to these rumors, but I could say that I’d definitely experienced something similar. Wearing a gown took as much time as getting into a space suit.
And so, I was bracing myself as the time to get changed approached, but what Eleanora brought out was a regular dress.
“Huh...? I’m not wearing a frilly gown?”
“You look better in simpler clothing. Did you want to wear something frilly?”
“Regardless of if it would be frilly or not, I thought it would be a gown.”
“It’s best to dress up in a way that is an extension of how you usually dress.”
I see... I think?
After all that waiting, my “extension of my usual self” outfit was complete. I was wearing a dress, along with stockings and boots since it was winter. I hadn’t seen these clothes before, so they had probably been purchased just for this date...by Rita.
My hair looked no different from usual. Though the style hadn’t changed, there were a few steps added to getting it ready, so my hair was about five times silkier than it usually was.
As for my makeup... A lot had been done. Apparently, this type of makeup was a “natural” look. But as makeup itself was biologically unnatural, natural makeup was “natural unnaturalness.” The natural unnaturalness(?) ended up looking quite natural.
Considering all the time it took to get me here, was this getup really an extension of my usual self? I couldn’t imagine this version of me existing on the same scale as my usual self. The actual extension of my usual self would be Yumiella Dolkness in a T-shirt and tracksuit bottoms.
And so, the hellish preparations had finished, and all that was left to do was head out. I looked at the next item on Eleanora’s notes.
“Arrive slightly late to the meeting spot without being late.” Which is it? It ends with “without being late,” so I should be punctual, but it clearly says “arrive slightly late” in the beginning, so she must want me to be late.
“Which one do I do for this?” I asked.
“This means to arrive slightly late without actually being late. I think you’ll be right on time if you leave now.”
In the end, I couldn’t figure out the truth behind Eleanora’s words to learn which she meant, but I would apparently be fine if I left then.
“I’ll be heading out, then.”
“Wait, I have one last touch to put on you.” Eleanora then began tapping something onto my cheeks with a tap-tap. I wasn’t sure what the official name for the tap-tap was, so the makeup tool and the verb ended up sounding repetitive.
“What is this?”
“It’ll make your cheeks a bit red.”
What does making my cheeks red accomplish...?