“Satsuki-san, coming in clutch,” I cheered. “You’re the very best friend a girl could ever ask for. Say, guess what? I’ve been convinced of this for ages, but you’re super sweet. Well, hell. Even more than Ajisai-sa—okay, never mind. But, like, you’ve got Mai beat…well, actually, you know what? Scratch that; she’s pretty nice too. Okay, let’s say Kaho-chan. You’re way sweeter than Kaho-cha—hmm, no, she’s a sweetheart. Um. Wow, everyone in the Quintet is so nice! Don’t worry, Satsuki-san, you’ll get ’em next time. Everyone’s capable of character development!”
“Why am I being compared to her?” Satsuki-san muttered, almost to herself.
“Hm? What was that?”
“Nothing.”
It didn’t sound like nothing, not when she looked spitting mad. Freaky.
Today was Saturday, and I was spending it at Satsuki-san’s house. I showed up on her doorstep bawling for her to tutor me for finals, and she acted like I was being an enormous pain. But she crumbled when I said, “Why would you ever refuse helping someone with such an earnest desire to learn?” In the end, she didn’t have work that day, so she gave me the okay. That was a close one, but I made it. As much as Satsuki-san seemed annoyed at me, I made it.
Now she sat in her room in casual clothes, her hair done up in a fat braid that dangled from her shoulder and swished back and forth like a stand of pampas grass. There was something gentle, something familial about her today. I wished she’d wear that hairstyle at school too. A girl’s hairstyle can change her whole image, you know? Of course, she was drop-dead gorgeous with her hair down too. Man, both hairstyles were too good to give up.
Anyway.
“It’s not much,” I said, “but I got you a little something as thanks for all the help.”
“What’s this?” she said. “A bribe?”
“You know what? Sure, why not.”
I took out a baumkuchen I’d bought at the bakery in front of the station with my own hard-earned allowance. She accepted the gift, but her facial expression was anything but grateful. It was less “accepting a gift” and more “the pact is sealed.” So I guess it worked.
She put her elbows down on the low tea table, propped her chin on top of her fists, and looked up at me with an expression of boredom.
“You’re going to quite the effort to win my help this time around,” she said. “Couldn’t manage it on your own, hm?”
“Uh, sorta. But not really.”
I put down my overloaded backpack—it was stuffed with textbooks—and gave her a lame grin. Rubbing my hands together, I explained, “Remember the finals before summer vacation? I got such good grades my parents gave me extra allowance. So. Yeah.”
“My, my.”
“I’m just thinking, if I score high again, I might get myself a little more cash. Which would be great. See, I bought some, like, IRL clothes the other day. And I still want to get some new characters, weapons, and skins…” I giggled weakly.
“And how, pray tell, does this concern me?” Satsuki-san’s face moved from Done to Overdone. Oops. Guess I was too honest.
“Th-that’s not all!” I rushed to add. “Studying’s important! And I thought I should work harder on it. And. You know! It’ll help me in the future! And it’s the hot new thing, right? New viral trend: studying!”
I grew louder as I barreled on and wound up just about screaming by the end.
Satsuki-san facepalmed. “Fine, I get it,” she sighed. “I always knew you were like this. You’re the sort to put your desires first and force your beloved, beautiful wife to pick up your slack. You’ll never change.”
“What the heck does that mean?!” I demanded.
“You poor thing. The devil herself has stolen all the precious light of existence from your life. There are seven virtues—sincerity, honesty, purity, diligence, temperance, morality, and sublimity—which shall never be yours again. But you have no choice. You must live on with the weight of your sin.”
“I still have all seven, thank you very much!” I smacked my chest—allegedly the home of such qualities—to prove it. The audacity! I’d never been so insulted in my life.
Satsuki-san ignored my protests and opened the textbook. “All right, enough of your little jokes. Let’s get down to business. Finals are next week, so we need to start drilling on these topics.”
“Oh, right. Thank you.”
I still had a bone or two to pick, but I was in no place to call her out. I couldn’t afford to tick off Satsuki-san and lose everything, so I nodded obediently. But just then, I saw something that gave me the shock of my life. “Wait a minute! Isn’t this a junior high textbook?”
“Yes, and?” She knitted together a pair of unamused eyebrows as I quivered in righteous indignation. “I picked it up just in case. For review, as I’m teaching your sister. Is there a problem with that?”
“N-no!” I shook my head. “Gosh darn it, Little Sis. Not only are you getting Satsuki-san to tutor you, but now you’re intruding on her personal time! The cheek!”
“Don’t worry,” Satsuki-san said. “If we’re talking cheek, you still take the cake.”
“Yeah, but I’m different. We’re the very bestest friends in the whole wide world, remember? But my little sister’s just a remora leeching off your favor. Why, I oughta challenge her to an FPS match and shoot ’er dead!”
“If you aren’t going to study, would you please go home?”
“Sorry! I’ll shut up.”
I bowed deeply to her, and she sighed in exasperation before opening our high school math textbook. “Fine. You get started on your part, and I’ll be right here working on my own things. Tell me if there’s anywhere you get stuck.”
“Thanks! I really appreciate it.”
And then she set about unknotting the tangled mess that was my brain.
I starfished on the floor and sighed. Oh god, brainwork.
“Good job,” Satsuki-san said. “You did it, much to my surprise.”
Yup, she taught me the methods, and I solved a buttload of problems under her tutelage. We were at it for three hours without a break. No wonder I was pooped.
“Well, yeah,” I said. “If I didn’t pull it off, then I’d be nothing but a shameless hussy gatecrashing on your doorstep.”
“Well, you were. Academic achievement or no. But I suppose a hussy who works hard is better than a hussy who doesn’t… Emphasis on the ‘suppose.’”
“You know, I’d work harder if you dropped the ‘hussy’ part.”
“A shame,” she said. “Let’s take a break.”
She ignored me and stretched out flat on her back next to me. Seeing her looong body get looooonger made me think, Wow, she sure is jaw-droppingly beautiful. Some people in my position might have gotten a little hot under the collar at the sight. (Who, me? I would never.)
Then Satsuki-san got up and made quick work of cutting the baumkuchen. I had my own water bottle, so I politely declined any further beverages. She made herself a cup of instant coffee, and then we had ourselves a picture-perfect snack break.